askSiren_Cytherea
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: okay so me nd my boyfriend of almost 6 months is engaged and we love eachother so much he treats me amazin nd he is my whole world we fight alot but we always get passed them because of how much we love eachother nd everything...but there is one his family dont like me the treat me nice to my face but behind my back they say the worst things i could think of i mean i really love my boyfriend but i am kinda gettin sick of his family alyways talking crap about me like they no me.......i never get to see my boyfriend and when i do its only for like 1 hour......they walk all over him like he is trash and thinks that he is there slave and he is 18 years old and i feel really bad i dont want to lose him i love him way to much i dont kno what i would do with out my baby he is my everything....i could really use some help here
Thank you so much
What you have to realize here is that this is YOUR relationship. If you love this guy, if you really want to be with this guy, you HAVE to get past his family. Not everyone will marry into a perfect family. You have to take the bad with the good if you want to be a permanent part of his life.
I might suggest that you ask his family to sit down and talk to you and him. If you two are seriously engaged, the lines of communication MUST be opened. Maybe there's some misconception going on, maybe his family doesn't understand your relationship. Or, you could ask him to say something to his family. If they don't know what's going on with the two of you, they need to, and they need to accept you. They don't have to love you - they don't even have to like you (though that would be nice, I feel your pain) - but they do have to accept that you're going to be a part of this guy's life whether they like it or not, because you two love each other. You can't control your heart, nor should you have to.
In a nutshell, open your mouth. Talk to them. Be blunt, be honest, let them into your inner circle. I know his family is important, and what they think is therefore important to you, but you may just have to look past that, and come to some sort of compromise with them. But you have to come to it WITH THEM.
Feel free to keep me updated with this if you want someone to talk to who's been in a similar situation.
If not, good luck!
-Siren =)

thank you so much i will try that and i will try to keep you updated i am new so i dont really kno how to find ppl on here

bio
Siren_Cytherea
I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

Info
Website:
Gender:
Female

Age:
26

AIM:
Member Since:
February 13, 2004

Answers:
1526

Last Update:
April 26, 2014

Visitors:
107634

Main Categories:





Favorite Columnists











layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker