SilentOne's advice column

I'm an 29 year old guy.
I'll always do my best to give well considered and sincere advice - give me your best shot. P.S. Don't be afraid to ask me private questions, I rarely spend a lot of time answering non-private questions.

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advice

Okay so I realize it's a little early to be worrying about Valentine's Day gifts but I really want to do something big this year and I need to start thinking of ideas now. My boyfriend is nineteen years old and I am making him a Valentine's Day gift basket. I'm also cooking him dinner. The basket can be as small or as large as it needs to be, depending on how many things I can think to put in it. Basically I'm looking for additional ideas on what to put in it besides what I already have and any other not too expensive gifts. For the basket I'm already making him heart shaped chocolates, a card, a poem, a framed picture of me and a photo snapbook of about twenty of our pictures. I would like to do a little coupon book for him as well with coupons for cooking his favorite dinner, my treat to the movies, etc. and any ideas on that would be helpful as well. Thank you so much =)

Well seeing as you're thinking about it this early, you have a chance to innocently suss out what he would like, but isn't conscious enough of to go out and buy himself. A bunch of small, insignificant seeming cheap stuff can often mean a lot if it is the right stuff.

One thing about getting presents from girls:
As long as they are not unusual and repulsive, in relationship terms, the monetary value of the contents hardly matters. What matters is how the present relates your feelings towards the boy, and is relevant to your interpersonal connection. If he ever said that he likes a ribbon you tie your hair with, or the perfume you wear, then make sure you tie a bow for the basket with a perfumed ribbon.

Another thing that melts me is knowing something took time. I recently received a novel in a different language, which a female friend of mine had annotated for me, to enable my reading of it. I had jokingly asked her months beforehand to do so, but was never seriously expecting anything of her. Just the fact that it must have taken her AGES makes me feel valuable.
In that respect, how are you at craft? Is there any chance of writing/painting the poem onto the picture frame, and spending time decorating it intricately?

The coupon book is a good idea. I would suggest you make a few special coupons which go at the back. One for a kiss. One for a hug. One with a question mark. You decide what the question mark ends up as. It doesn't have to be "the obvious", maybe you could write him a love letter and give it to him if he ever plays the question coupon, or figure out something ridiculous to do which is sure to make him smile. Make sure he knows that these last coupons are special. He can use them at any time he wants, whether or not you are pissed off with him, but only ever use them once. If you want to go for symbolistic flair, you could glue match sticks to these three, and the igniter side of a match box to the back of the book of coupons. If he wants to use any of the last three coupons, it must be struck.

Depending on what kind of guy he is, there are some things that guys aren't allowed to have unless given to them by a girl. For instance, bath products, or a teddy named after yourself. It can be nice to be "feminised" by a girl once in a while.

Lastly, you should try to think of a romantic way to deliver the basket. If you have access to his bed, and a florist/garden full of roses, you could put the basket in the middle of his bed surrounded by rose-petals. Be creative about it.

Valentines is hardly about the gift. It is about the person giving the gift, and the effort they go to, to give part of themselves.

Have fun
-K

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(Rating: 5) Very detailed and lots of good ideas. Thank you so much :)

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