Wow, does that sound familiar. I can't even drop my defenses enough to get to know a guy anymore, let alone date one. Lol.
My best advice is to ask him to help you. If you really feel that you want to open up to him, you need to let him know what's going on in your head. If he already knows and he's trying to help, you might need to ask him to be aware of his reactions, too - if you get overly emotional, he might respond in kind, but what you need him to do is calm you down. Not to say you two can't ever fight, because that's healthy, but it's a good idea to pick your fights...not on your significant other. =) If he really wants the relationship to work, he'll be willing to work with you.
Of course, to know what's going on in your head, you have to be in touch with your heart. For that, you could try freewriting - just type for ten minutes straight (at least) every day and see what comes out, even if it's just "I have nothing to say, I have nothing to say, this is dumb, I have nothing to say," you'll eventually tap into something new if you keep your fingers moving. You also aren't allowed to hit the delete key while you're freewriting.
Being aware of what's going on in your head is half the battle. The next step is going to be to catch yourself when you're about to pick at something and tell yourself "hey self, that's totally dumb and you don't need to think about it."
For me it was always a difficult balance between having him help me and feeling too much like he was reading my mind, but eventually I learned to love the closeness we had, and he turned into my best friend and advocate.
Another idea to help you tap into your heart is drawing, or talking to yourself - anything that gets your thoughts moving.
If you want someone to talk at who's kind of in the same boat (and the same age), feel free to IM me (SirenCytherea (just make sure you IM more than once so I don't think you're spam)). I'm online constantly.
-Siren =)

Thank you so much. This helped a lot

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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