***Update***
Well, the truth hurts and I obviously struck the right nerve with you. The fact that you say are unhappy is telling. So, is the fact that you said that your own empathy level is abnormally high..making yourself sick. I gave you very truthful and helpful advice, but clearly you were looking for something else. You will continue to be unhappy until you open your mind...until then you will choose, yes, choose to be offended by anyone who does not cater to your narrow mindedness. Being a "Christian" is not about being easily offended. That is your own issue, so quit blaming your religion and your God for your insecurities. BTW, I did not lump in your husband with your early boyfriends as "childsplay"...you did. That is also very telling. My advice from here is to see a good counselor.
Good luck.-------------------------------------------


Running on empty? Emotionally drained? It happens when you are a big hearted individual who is practically breathing for everyone else and not spending time even figuring out what would make yourself happy. How can a man ever make you happy when you don't know yourself? Take a holiday from giving to others and feeling other's pain....believe me the misery will be there for you when you want to take it up again. You are a young college student who is in a really great time of life to begin finding out what you are all about and what potential you have. The boyfriends that have come and gone in this very early part of your life are just child's play my dear...stop feeling guilty over everthing and everyone that you could not save! You are not God, and life is hard enough without crucifying yourself with those expectations. Give yourself some credit...life is not black and white and some of your decisions have probably been very smart ones anyway. Find your power. Find it in your own pain and not in others. Take control of your own pain and prescribe for yourself the good medicine you need...self love and faith in yourself. I have been where you are now...the twenties can be exciting and scary...you will find your voice. Let your world quiet down around you long enough to hear that small voice you have been ignoring for so long. Let HER speak and listen.

"stop feeling guilty over everthing and everyone that you could not save! You are not God, and life is hard enough without crucifying yourself with those expectations." This statement absolutely offended me because I am a christian and I don't think that statement was necessary and a little over the top. I already know my potential, my goals, and i am married so I don't really think he is childs play. You need to really think before you write because it is very offensive on my part.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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