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Why do I feel this way?
I have been an advice coloumnist on this site for almost three years. I am very happy that I have helped so many people and yet I am unhappy as a person. I have an empathy level for people that is off the charts. It makes me literally sick to my stomach when I see someone in absolute pain. I care more about a strangers well-being than my own. I am successful as a writer and college student but I can't figuare out why I am not happy with myself. I had many boyfriends since the sixth grade, alot of which I savotaged even though they were really great guys and some that were not. I find myself at a crossroad unable to decipher my own feelings. Why am I so unhappy? When I look at my life, I should be thrilled, not unhappy.
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There is this GOD shaped hole in everybody. Many people spend their entire lives trying to find fulfillment only to realize too late that their life was a waste of time. You have this overwhelming desire to have an impact in others lives. The problem is you think it somehow has something to do with you. It's not about you but others. God in His great compassion seeks to give true meaning to life. It would appear he has chosen you for this task. By accepting Christ as your savior and then living your life to serve others I can guarantee you will be so full of joy and happiness that you won't be able to contain yourself. Email me if you need some someone to talk to. support@healthfix4life.com The greatest part of my life began after I realized what I was created for!
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Hi,
I think if you feel this way it is because you are always helping a friend or impressing someone or thinking about doing something else for someone. You need a break! you are stressed! It is time for you to stop focusing on everyone else and start revolving around the most important person in your life, you! Call a friend and tell her/him that you won't be able to help him out. Instead do something that you like, for example, if you like reading, go to the library and pick out a book. If you like to write, try a new different story. For example, if you usually write romances, try comedy. Go on a shopping spree, try a new recipe. Do something you like! It doesn't matter what you do as long as you devote some time to yourself. HOpe I helped!
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***Update***
Well, the truth hurts and I obviously struck the right nerve with you. The fact that you say are unhappy is telling. So, is the fact that you said that your own empathy level is abnormally high..making yourself sick. I gave you very truthful and helpful advice, but clearly you were looking for something else. You will continue to be unhappy until you open your mind...until then you will choose, yes, choose to be offended by anyone who does not cater to your narrow mindedness. Being a "Christian" is not about being easily offended. That is your own issue, so quit blaming your religion and your God for your insecurities. BTW, I did not lump in your husband with your early boyfriends as "childsplay"...you did. That is also very telling. My advice from here is to see a good counselor.
Good luck.-------------------------------------------
Running on empty? Emotionally drained? It happens when you are a big hearted individual who is practically breathing for everyone else and not spending time even figuring out what would make yourself happy. How can a man ever make you happy when you don't know yourself? Take a holiday from giving to others and feeling other's pain....believe me the misery will be there for you when you want to take it up again. You are a young college student who is in a really great time of life to begin finding out what you are all about and what potential you have. The boyfriends that have come and gone in this very early part of your life are just child's play my dear...stop feeling guilty over everthing and everyone that you could not save! You are not God, and life is hard enough without crucifying yourself with those expectations. Give yourself some credit...life is not black and white and some of your decisions have probably been very smart ones anyway. Find your power. Find it in your own pain and not in others. Take control of your own pain and prescribe for yourself the good medicine you need...self love and faith in yourself. I have been where you are now...the twenties can be exciting and scary...you will find your voice. Let your world quiet down around you long enough to hear that small voice you have been ignoring for so long. Let HER speak and listen.
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Well maybe you should take a brake from helping others. It might help you! Go shopping with freinds, visit your mom, do something exciting. And theres probably something bothering you. You might not know it. Maybe you should release your feelings out, you might bottle your feelings without knowing it. And if you like helping people try doing something that is helpful to other and exciting for you (= like a two mile bike ride that helps raise money and reasearch for cancer.
Be happy k,?
- Nikki™
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Perhaps you need some time off.
Do things you like doing, and don't do them because you feel other people want/need you to.
When someone ask you to go somewhere don't go unless you really want to and believe you'll have fun.
Start exercising (you feel better after a long walk) perhaps go on a holiday somewhere not to far away but anywhere thats not home.
Be single - it's fun and exciting.
You just need some time to sort out whats in your own head, not other peoples.
Hope this helped, hope you're feeling better soon.
K-J
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