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Q: everything in my life is going horribly wrong, i feel im digging myself into a hole and it's just getting deeper and deeper day by day. i have an mip and 30 hours of service to complete by wednsday. i just got my liscence a month ago if even and i already crashed my mom's lexus yesterday. my parents are so dissapointed in me. i am a horrible student and just a horrible kid period. i need someone to talk to..i have my bestfriend but she is in the same position so i don't get any advice we just talk about our alike problems and sure it helps to get it off my chest but i need help and advice not someone to tell me i'm not alone. because frankly i know i am not alone. another last thing there is this guy i like but he is going to college this year about an hour away..and i he hasn't talked to me in a day and it's getting me really worked up and worried cuz i kinda told him how much i liked him and i think i may have scared him off.. please i need advice HELP. i am so worried about my life and future.
I know how you feel- when you feel down, it seems as though everything in your life is going wrong, and that you are destined to be a failure no matter what. I am sure that you are not a horrible kid, as you say- you only feel horrible about yourself.

It looks like everything that seems to go wrong for you is put on your list of little "failures," and things start adding up. But if you look at things differently, and try to look at what you are grateful for rather than dwelling on the things that are going wrong, then you will start to realize that things really aren't so bad.

First, you need to build up some confidence in yourself. I was just like you in High School, I thought that no matter what, I was going to do poorly in a couple of subjects (usually math/science subjects). It was a self-fulfilling prophecy- I would end up thinking "I can't," and in the end, I didn't. Your attitude has a lot to do with your potential. Looking back, I realize if I had put in more effort, and started working constructively toward my goals, I would have been better off. I am a lot different know, but totally understand where you are coming from. So, no matter what aspect of your life you feel down about- grades, friendships, etc., realize that if you put in some effort and do your part, you will see improvement overtime. If anything, you will gain a different outlook and become more optimistic.

Second, you got into a car accident. Accidents happen. You are lucky that you are alright, and that nothing else happened to you or anyone else. You just got your license-- no one is born a perfect driver. Although it makes you feel disappointed, realize that with practice and experience, you will become a better driver and can avert accidents better.

Third, if a guy gets 'scared off,' it could very well be a sign of his immaturity. I am assuming he is 17 or 18- a lot of guys might shy away ,so it has nothing at all to do with you. You were right in being honest with him and getting your feelings off your chest. What he does is up to him, but do not let that impact how you feel about yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. Anyway, he hasn't talked to you in only a day. Wait a bit and see what happens. If he doesn't respond or talk to you, it's his loss.

All I can tell you is that you are not a horrible person at all... you just need to change your outlook and be more optimistic. Try to talk to someone about it, even try explaining it to your parents (or whichever one of them you feel most comfortable with)-just to get things off your chest. Try to set goals for yourself at school, and get extra tutoring if needed. Even going out with a friend once in a while, or getting into a good habit, like exercising, can do a lot to make you feel more strong and positive.

thank you so much your advice meant so much to me. And you know you are right i do not give myself enough credit and i do also need to be way more optomistic. thanks again!

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ciao77
I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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