15/f. a couple weeks ago, i had my first kiss. i hated it. me and the guy had been talking, he was dropping me off after our first date, and he hadnt even held my hand, and he totally just kissed me. full on tongue and everything. i was like wow, and i hated it. i don't have feelings for this guy anymore, but i'm worried about the future. i didn't like this kiss, and after contemplating this over and over, it's either, cause it was my first kiss and he wasn't my boyfriend, or that it didn't really have passion. anywho, i'm seriously worried that i won't like kissing guys in the future, because any time it seems as if a guy's about to make a move, i take a huge step back. not literally, but yeah. anywho, i have some seriously hot daydreams [including some hot makeout pressed against a wall] and some dreams... but they're all with one guy. i've crushed on him about a year, but i've tried to move on. ugh. idk. i'm just looking for help with my adolescene?!
Just because you didn't like kissing this guy doesn't mean you won't like kissing others. And you're response was actually quite normal.
The first time I kissed a guy I remember thinking... 'Is that it?! Hmm... I can't understand what all the fuss is about.' First kisses, not just yours but also the first time you kiss a 'new' person... Quite honestly, tend to not be so great. It's not your fault, it's not his fault. It's more attributed to... Different people like different things and you don't _know_ what the other person likes. These things have a tendency to get better once you've been with someone for a while.
So... Don't sweat it. I can't say why you're taking a 'a huge step back' in these situations... But do you think it might because you're shy and nervous? If so... The more you date the more going to get over it.
As for your crush... If you've been crushing on him for a year and nothing has happened, your decision to move on sounds wise. My opinion is to keep truckin'. Moving on is always difficult at first, and it does hurt... You've just got to tell yourself that you're doing what's best for you. Eventually you're going to get over it. I promise.
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thanks (:
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