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Q: k hey! i was just looking at your page and it seems like you're really helpful. This is kind of a long story, but i really need some good advice, other than my friends. Well, i'm 14 turning 15 in 2 weeks. i'm involved with 2 guys. they are both older than me, 17. Tony lives like 10 min. down the street, and sal lives almost and hour away. (we didn't meet over the internet, he's my cousin's friend)

i've known sal for almost 2 years, and we've only seen each other about 4 times. we have a pretty strong relationship for not seeing each other every day. we talk almost every day. but i feel like i'm wasting my time because i have tony who's right there. like down the street! i know it's stupid to have doubts because one of them i could see in a second, and the other i couldn't. but i really care about them a lot and i don't want to hurt them. but i want to do what's best for me. you know? so what do you think i should do? i can't keep both of them. it's not right. sorry if this is tough, i just need some help. if i didn't give you enough info just message me back and i'll give you more.

please right back soon. :D
thanks so much.
Well, it all comes down to who you think would give you more of what you want. If you want like, a committed, long relationship, you might wanna go with Sal, if you can handle the long distance thing.
If you want someone close who you can talk to and see every day - if you're a physical person (not necessarily sex, but hugs and kisses too), then you should go with Tony.
BUT I have to warn you, I've never had a good experience with a long distance relationship. This is just from personal experience, but that's all I can work from. I was with a guy for almost two years - he went to Florida for college and I stayed in Michigan. He had trouble keeping contact because he was so busy, and the connection between us died because I wanted more - I was used to him living down the road, and all of a sudden he was states away. It's probably harder when you're used to the long distance thing, but there's a reason a lot of people don't do it, it's not easy.
I know a couple, one of them is in MI and one's in Chicago. They've been together for five years or something - six? and they're even having trouble with it.
But if you're more attracted to Sal than to Tony, go for the long distance thing. Go for the guy you're really drawn to. If you're just attracted to Tony 'cause he's literally "right there," then you should probably rethink some stuff.
I hope this helps, feel free to contact me again if you want more help.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

thanks so much!
you give great advice.
but i was just wondering, do you think that you could delete that question off your page? i realized i used names. and i'm afraid someone will see and know it's me haha. thankyouuu! you're amazing. keep up the great work! :D

bio
Siren_Cytherea
I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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