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Q: I feel like a total failure. Although I have a lot to be proud of, there is so much that I have yet to do...

I'm 23 and feel like most other people my age are at least doing something with their lives, whether it's going to grad school, starting a job, etc. I don't expect to have "made it" by now (whatever it means) career-wise or anything, but I seriously did not think that I would be where I am today.

To be clear, I already graduated college, thinking that I'd go into grad school or something... the whole process seems to be in the air, I don't have a steady job (aside from helping at my mom's office once in a while), I wake up and go to the library occasionally, only to come back with a head full of doubts.

I understand that I am still young, but seriously, I am doing pretty much nothing with my life and I feel like complete crap at the moment. I guess in a way I already know what to do, but it doesn't make the situation any easier. I still feel like a low life failure. I don't know...any words of advice are appreciated.
It is understandable to feel stressed, doubtful, and uncertain about the future. The most unhealthy thing we can do is to constantly compare yourself with others...no matter what it is we are comparing. Someone you envy who has it all together might be hiding something terrible, or dead tomorrow, or really miserable. It does nothing positive to compare ourselves anyway. Be the best you in your everyday and be aware of your moments not as melting away in an hourglass, but as a gift to be enjoyed. No one owns a past or future...there are people who have everything materialistically one day and nothing the next, a bunch of "friends" that disappear when the good times do, and life is so much more then money, degrees, and jobs. Sit down with a counselor or someone else objective and listen to their advice on getting some clear goals met in steps. You are probably feeling overwhelmed by so many choices before you...wow. You don't have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life...that will change and evolve as you do. Remember that it is about the journey of your existence...you are becoming more of yourself as you develop and experience life. Take a vacation if you need to and relax and let the mystery of your own soul float to the surface. We don't chase down dreams, we create them as we go. Don't worry that you don't have the whole thing planned out...it would ruin the fun. Leave room in your life and soul for the unplanned and unexpected...those are usually the best anyway.

Thank you

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BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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