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I am here to help, so take full advantage!My name is Kat and I know how it feels to feel like there's no one you can talk to about something, or like no one cares. I DO. And I will try to help you as best I can. I promise nothing more or less than a friend to talk to, a listening ear, and someone who will tell their honest opinion on your dilemma. I usually answer your questions from my phone-online, so i wont be able to see EVERY link.
You can leave your question in my INBOX or you can even email me or add me on myspace.
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P.S. Feedback is GREATLY appreciated-- help me help you.
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advice
22/F.
Have you ever had a partner who you wanted to break up with, but still really wanted in your life as a friend?
My exboyriend was my best friend, but he was more than that. We got together when we were 17, friends from age 15. I felt like he was a part of my personality, and I loved him to bits. But I felt no passion for him and believed we could not make it work in the long run (I still believe this and do not want a relationship with him again).
We broke up after living together for two years. After two months of trying to stay friends, he said he did not want anything to do with me anymore. I was seeing someone new and he could not cope with this and I do not blame him. This happened ten months ago and he is now happily dating another girl, from what I hear.
Right, the part where I need advice: I know my ex will never be a part of my life ever again. I have heard from several people who are friends with him now that he is genuinely relieved to have me out of his life (this hurts a lot, and is surprising because he begged me not to break up with him). I love him very much, even now, and I think about him all the time. I've had days when I can't stop crying, I miss him so much. Sometimes I wake up, and I think it must be a nightmare, and my smiling best friend will still be in my life, but I remember that it is not. We live in the same small town and are in the same year at university, however I have not seen him in four months. I feel like he has died. I worry about whether he is ok all the time, even though I know rationally he is fine.
If you have ever felt like this about a person - desperately wanting them in your life, or even just wanting to know that they are ok, but knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make this happen - please tell me how you dealt with it? This sounds so horrible, but if he *had* died, I feel like I could mourn and move on, but instead, I'm left in this void, trying to work out if there is anything I can do, but knowing honestly that I can't make him want me in his life again (especially if he is happy with someone else). How do you cope with psuedo-grief and move on with your life?
Oh gosh, I know exactly how you feel. Its like your words spilled out of my heart. Its almost like your in unfamiliar territory and left not knowing quite where you stand. I'm going through the same thing-my ex bf was my best friend and I feel pained to know he's out there and not dead but yet I'm having to move on as if he were-full aware that he's not, just that we can no longer have contact with eachother... If that made any sense whatsoever.
I try to keep it in the mindset that its 'all for the better' and that things in life happen for a reason. He was meant to make you happy while he did, but life has in store for you many bigger things. He needs this space to be able to move on without hurting from the loss of you. Him disconnecting, not seeing you, not talking to you, saying he's moved on and he's glad you two are over... That's all his mindset of trying to keep it together because he knows he needs to move on either way. Regardless of if HE can move on or not, life still does. He knows this and you do too. I don't know if anything can or will stop the pain of losing a best friend that you were so close to, but I know that what you learned from him and what he learned from you is a priceless experience you will learn to take as part of your structure. Someday when you think of him it will be of just that and you'll smile...you won't feel any remorse over it, but be glad and greatful of 'that boy that changed your world'.
Goodluck & I wish you the best.
(Rating: 5) Wow, thank you so much for that, you've made me feel a million times better. All the best with your situation, I hope your advice helps you as it has helped me :)