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July 30, 2004Answers:
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advice
i've been molested, as a child. it happened often and i've tried so hard to block it out but now i feel like it defines me. nobody knows, i can't say anything nobody will believe me. everybody will hate me. he ruined me. i picture how my life would be if it never happened, the way i am now is horrible. i make so many mistakes just trying to make myself feel better but nothing works. i dont know what to do, i cant talk to anybody. im 16, this happened the summer going into 5th grade then into the year.
nothing makes it go away i don't know what to do i want to die so badly.
I was molested more than once too. Maybe I shouldn't bother answering since i am not over it myself. But since i'm speaking from experience, maybe i can help. I know that the people who told you to tell someone are right, but i haven't told anyone either, so i can't exactly sit here and tell you to do that. But, this also happened to my best friend by the same person, so i have her to talk to about it and having someone to talk to about it does help. But i know how hard it is to tell someone. If you want to tell someone, ignore all other factors, like worrying that people will hate you, or won't believe you. Someone you trust should believe you. Or, you can tell someone like a counselor who will believe you. I know in my case, it gave me serious trust issues. Like, believing all males are terrible people and will do awful things to you. With time, i've come to realize that even though someone you thought you could trust would do something like this to you, not everyone is like that. Try surrounding yourself with people you can trust. I think that helps. I don't know if you blame yourself, but i know that i did.. or do, but you have to keep telling yourself that you can't control other people's actions and aren't responsible for what happened to you. I was in denial about it for a while and once you can be open with yourself about it, that does help. I'm not sure something like this will ever go away, but it's all about how you deal with it. What i think is key, is to not blame yourself, and to try to believe that not everyone is like this. I'm sure we both know that therapy would help, but i'm completely with you because i know telling someone isn't as easy as people think. Maybe someday we will work up the courage to tell someone; until then focus on not blaming yourself and being around people you trust. I'm sorry if this wasn't very helpful, but i hope it helps to know that there's someone out there going through the same thing. Feel free to leave a message anytime if you need to.
Oh and thank you, because this is the first time i've ever spoke openly about it to someone other than that friend.
(Rating: 5) i was in denial for some time too...
you helped me more than anybody, and if there was a rating more than 5 you would def. get it. you're really sincere and its refreshing, i really appreciate you responding to this. if you want you can email me at watermelon4863@yahoo.com