askBitsandPieces
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Well, I'm 16/male, and my mom caught me, uh... masterbating today. She just watched as I pulled my pants up and the porn was still playing. Fuck, I feel really embarassed now. She was already a paranoid mom (without any reason to be one) and it pisses me off to no end, sometimes I just start screaming and cursing at her because she wont leave me the fuck alone and its getting old. Now she wont even let me close my fucking doors because she thinks im gonna do it again! (and shes installing a porn-blocker). I never was close with my mom, and I don't feel comfortable talking to her about ANYTHING, but it's still pretty damn embarassing. It's just masterbating and porn, but she flips out if I see one chest on TV! What should I do - aside fromt talking to her?
Of course there is nothing wrong with masterbation and everyone does it or has done it...some people do very little else. It is her right to be a protective mom and she has the right to install the porn blocker. This will not stop you from pleasuring yourself to orgasm. People survived without porn for thousands of years and masterbated without it. I am sure you will not have any trouble. The shower is a good place where you can have privacy and clean up afterwards. You are still in your mom's memory as the child she has nurtured since birth and that is a strong bond. She wants the best for you, and wants you to be happy, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to walk in and see her getting it on? Gross, right? She freaked out only like any mother would. You are in that awkward stage between childhood and manhood. Take it like a man, and don't act like a child about all this nonsense. An adult thinks beyond themselves and considers the feelings of others. You are going to to have to respect her on this one.

Thanks for the advice, that would be gross :/

bio
BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

Info
Website:
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
California

Occupation:
Writer, Mentor

Age:
37

Member Since:
August 9, 2006

Answers:
1106

Last Update:
September 17, 2008

Visitors:
201838

Main Categories:





Favorite Columnists















layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker