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Q: I've been talking to this guy through Myspace and MSN for over a month. I liked him so much, and we were I don't want to say dating, but sort of "involved" over the computer. He was so different from other boys...and now I know why. "He" is a girl.

She looks just like a guy, and all of her Myspace pictures were really of her! She didn't tell me she was a girl. I messaged one of her friends and said, "Hi I'm *Bob's (not her real name) friend. I really like him." and her friend messaged me back and said, "*Bobs my friend, but she is a girl." I told Bob this and he admitted it and said, "I shouldn't be a girl. I should be a guy."

I am heartbroken. This wasn't just some fake Myspace. This was a real person that's face looked like a guy's. (Obviously shes not, after she showed me a picture of her standing.)

Does this mean I'm a Lesbian? In a way, I feel like I still have feelings for Bob. But I think its just because I liked "him" so much that I'm having a hard time letting go of the fact that "he" is not a he. I know that Bob still has feelings for me. This is so weird. I feel like maybe I should be a Lesbian since thats the only people that are attracted to me. I want to still be Bob's friend, we had such a good thing going. Should I stay her friend/ keep talking to her?
You are not the first and won't be the last person deceived through the internet. We have become a society that relies heavily upon computers for communication, but the net makes it that much easier to hide behind untruths and make-believe identities. Pictures can be deceiving and this person purposely lied to you and manipulated the situation. You were tricked. Why do you think only lesbians are attracted to you? I doubt that is really the case. You can only be Bob's friend if you have an honest and trusting relationship. It sure did not start that way, so be cautious. Feelings can also be deceiving and can come and go quickly. Don't ever base a life decision on feelings alone. We need to be intellectually and emotionally balanced. I would expand my circle of friends to include those that are not hiding behind false identities. If this girl wants to be a lesbian or become transgendered it is her business, but you should never put up with being manipulated and lied to by anyone.

Thanks. Haha, and trust me, no guys like me unless you count some oldish drug dealers.

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BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


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http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

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relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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