It is very normal to have questions and curiosities about your sexuality; especially within the framework of a culture that continues to challenge sexual orientation and boundaries. What exactly makes a person gay or straight or bi? Is it thinking, feeling or acting upon sexual urges. Feelings and thoughts are more difficult to control than our actions. We gather information and roll it around in our brains, process it a while, observe one bit of fact against another, re-clarify, construct, destruct, make patterns, illuminations, revelations, questions, theories, and conclusions about the world and our place in it. We want to belong and fit in somewhere. We try to assert our individuality, but at the same time, we don't ever want to lose our place and worth in groupings and society. "Please help me to define myself," we cry out. "Is there anyone out there like me?" "Am I normal?" We are not defined only by our actions, but by our thoughts and feelings and what we are willing to accept as reality for ourselves. Does being able to put yourself into someone else's shoes make you that person? No. It gives you insight into another reality and expands your view. As a whole you find yourself attracted to the male of the species and not the female of the species. This generally counts as being straight. However, being a creative and intelligent sexual being, you have the power and imagination to see that this soul that you love as a person is someone whom you could love totally, without the restrictions of gender that are normally in place in your reality when it comes to sexual love.
It is not uncommon for females to have this multifaceted and complex sexual inclinations toward a very close friend. These feelings are seemingly crossing a sexual line and so you wonder if this line is crossed for you forever and changes your identity. The answer is only if you want it to. This is because the deepness of affection you feel for her crosses not only gender, but into a spiritual sphere that rarely is experienced outside of close friendship. You have an intimacy with her that you are unlikely to have with many people whether they are male or female. In fact, whether she were female or male, you would have this soul connection and attraction sexually.
This is why you experience sexual feelings toward her and not women in general. Unless this becomes a pattern and one that you feel is normal and not the exception for you, then I would not feel pressured to declare a new sexual identity. Sexuality is much more complicated than our culture gives us room for, yes even our liberated society that has now given us permission to neatly place ourselves into a couple more neat little boxes, as if that were our idea. The other alternative is that you may feel sexual towards someone as an opportunity to have more power or influence over them in your life. Some people use seduction as pure power and control. Only you know for sure.
Women and men can be attracted to and stimulated by many different things, including same sex nudity or just touching. If you were blind folded and got a sensual massage, you could be turned on whether or not the massager were female, male, attractive, unattractive or had the worst personality. Sexual response can be triggered by many things, and those things in themselves do not define you. You define you.

I never knew that, uh very entresting. Thax you thats really good advice.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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