askBitsandPieces
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Q: i know that the reality of the situation is that he does care about me and all but doesnt want a gf. truth be told i have settled for only being friends. if he wants to take it a step further than that is completely up to him because i dont want to pressure anything or turn this into some awkward relationship. besides this the last year im actually gonna be with him. after graduation we are going to different high schools but i will definately keep in touch with him. im gonna miss him a lot but i know i will move on when i meet new ppl in high school. i mean i dont really expect much out of him in a bf and gf type way. he doent even know that i like him. which brings me to my next question. do you think i should tell him how i feel? or would that just be setting myself up for regection again? also do you have A I M? if so we can chat sometime. thanx again you are awesome and im glad to see that there are such great advise givers out there =)
Thankyou! You sound very rational in your thinking about the situation. I think it is still up to you if and when you tell him, but if you think you can say what you want to without worrying about a response then do it. The key is to say what you feel without putting pressure on him or asking for anything in return...make it like giving him a gift, not a trade. If you can do this, then you will have unloaded the burden of what ifs, and holding on to the regret of words unspoken. I think even a little rejection won't hurt the friendship at this point as long as you are very confident and willing to tell him in a way that asks for nothing in return. One phrase would be to say something like, "I value our friendship so much that I would never want to lose it, but I also want you to know that I think you are going to make some girl really happy someday and if you need someone, I could be that girl." Whatever you say, do it with him alone without making too big a deal about it. Wait for a casual opportunity and try to say it with as little drama as possible...you could even be cute about it and flirty, almost like you are teasing about it...this could get the message across without having to bare your soul and be too vulnerable. Good Luck!
P.S. I prefer to take all my question/comments/feedback in this form, because of the time restrictions I have. Feel free to keep in touch, though.:)

thank you yet again

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BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

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http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

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Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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