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Q: I realized that I am being VERY mentaly abused by my parents...But I am a very happy person so I TRY to forget about it.I don't really love my parents...I don't like them thats for sure.But I'm afraid if I tell someone then I'll be put in like foster care or something because I DO NOT want to move again...(been in 9 schools and 15+ houses) Plus I have really good friends and a PERFECT boyfriend and I am willing to take my parents abuse to stay with him.My question is what can I say to my parents to get them to stop...I REALLY need help :( Please don't tell me to tell someone I don't want to .
I agree you should talk to someone. Have you told your parents how you feel? Try to talk to them at a time when everyone is calm and not fighting. Focus on not accusing them of anything, but just saying how you feel inside. It does not need to be a big speech. Just one sentence even. Let them absorb that and just listen and don't get defensive when they talk. You don't want to provoke them or put yourself in a worse position, but try to work it out with them first. Life is hard, parents are imperfect people like anyone else and will always have major flaws. Being a teen is a trying time for you and them. The relationship must continue to be open and you need to be in a safe place where you can communicate, but this sometimes does not happen in "regular" homes. You can't make them stop, any more than I can make them. We don't have that power to control others. You can try to approach them in a gentle manner I described. It may take several tries...go in baby steps. Nothing will change overnight, or it may never. In the meantime talk to a school counselor about your feelings and concerns. I don't know what constitutes mental abuse legally, but it would take a professional to determine that. Parents can be a major source of anguish without it being legally abusive, so I don't know what you might be up against. You are a brave girl and I am glad you have some real positives in your young life. You will get through this. You will eventually get to pick and choose for yourself whom to allow in your life...the ones that are not nice will have no place in it. I wish you all the best. Let me know if there is anything else you need.

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BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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