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Q: ok, well...i'm 14/m...and i have an amazing girlfriend that i love SOOO much...but i have a lot of people that i kno that just...don't support my decision to be with her...there's kinda some good reasons for their argument but i hate it when they bring it up...

well, when i first met her, she was going out with this 21 year old, and he was a jerk, but she couldn't get him to leave her alone. this guy was horrible to her- apparantly he thought it was love...he's a weirdo...

well, he threatened to hurt her (and me, for that matter) unless she had sex with him, and of course, she wanted him to leave her alone, because not only was he being a horrible person to me, hejust wouldn't leave her alone...so she did it. and this guy left her alone.

and so everyone calls her a whore and all that stuff and she's not- she's not a slut, doesn't dress like one, is amazingly beautiful...but i feel like i'm the only one who sees that in her...

so i guess what i'm asking is- how can i get other people to see what i see in her? because honestly, none of my friends do...

thnx
****updated!
You are welcome. It is sad that you take genuine help and advice as just another lecture. This is probably why you have a tough time hearing anything from anyone who does not agree with you. Grow up, and you won't FEEL lectured. Continue on the path of plugging your ears and hearing and seeing only what you want to, and you will end up walking into traffic or off a cliff. Good luck, you will need it.
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It won't happen. No one will ever see her as you do. You are the one who is blinded by love and they are not. This does not mean she is a slut or that they are right. It does mean that you need to truly accept that she has earned her reputation by her actions...and they were regretful to say the least. Next time someone tells you not to be with her or calls her a slut, you can tell them that you can understand how they would feel that way, but that you have accepted that she made a mistake and have forgiven her. I hope for both your sakes, you will both use your brains from now on and not her body to get you out of difficult situations. This older guy used her and made fools of both of you. He should be prosecuted for statutory rape for having sex with a minor. You both need to come forward and talk to her parents and the local police. Otherwise, he continues to be a threat if not to both of you, to the public in general, to the next minor girl he rapes. Do the right thing and stand up for your girl and the next one.

i didn't ask for a lecture

bio
BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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