Your dad is as much to blame for the situation, because he is enabling your mom's addiction. They are both responsible for the well-being and environment of the family. They are the adults. You have been on an emotional rollercoaster and had your heart broken repeatedly. Her promises are no good. Yet, you always have hope that just this once, this time, she will make good on one. She won't. Accept that she is choosing her addiction over the family. So is your dad. You CAN turn her in and unless you really think your dad will kill you, I would. I have had to turn in someone in a similar situation. Yes, they were enraged and said very hateful things. Yes, they got into trouble. Yes, they got the help they needed, and eventually got totally clean and sober. Now this person has a real life and those that they love are no longer being hurt and put in danger. Doing the right thing is hardly ever the easy thing. Only you can make this decision, but you deserve help and support. I want you to at least talk to an adult teacher or counselor you trust about your feelings and fears. You can't do it alone and you won't be able to fix this. It is not your responsibility to correct the mistakes of adults who have abused their power over your childhood. I know you love them, but you deserve more than this. Love yourself and them enough to be different from them. You know when to ask for help. They don't. That is why you will save the only one you have the power and responsibility to save....yourself. You can only help her if you do not enable her by continuing to protect her...that is the "easy way out" like your dad is taking, but it is not the true way out into a healthy new life. The disease of the addicted thrives in the dark, the secrecy, the veil of those who conceal the parasite. Bring it to the light. The light will hurt the eyes because they were used to darkness, the eyes will curse the day and hate the reflection they see. They will hate what they have become in the darkness. They will see finally see what has been their comfort at night, was really a parasite eating them alive. It will hurt to detach the gripping jaws of the addiction, and it will leave scars. But, the parasite will shrivel up and squirm back into its cave. Then the released will either walk in the sunlight or return to the dark cave and the parasite. It is a disease, but it is also a choice. Once the parasite is not hidden and protected, your mom will have a chance to rid herself of the monster that is alcoholism and really be able to choose for herself. She needs help from professionals. If this is something you are strong enough to do, make that call for her. Turn her in.

thanks, i'll try getting her help.

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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