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Q: 13/f

I know there's nothing wrong with dating anyone of a different race, and I think I may have a crush on this amazing guy, who is of a different race.

Well me and about 2 friends are the ONLY people in the school who think biracial dating is OK.

The rest of the school thinks its disgusting.

And I know that shouldn't matter, and I mean it doesn't REALLY. But I don't want to lose all my friends, just because of a crush. I know they're not good friends or whatever if they don't accept it, but still, it hurts to lose all your friends.

I know some would be accepting of it, but I know most won't.

A subject similar to this came up in school today, where me and the two friends I mentioned, were talking about the cute guy at Burger King, lol.

I kind of bit my tongue about the guy I think I might like in the school, because people were eavesdropping.

And its not just friends, my grandma would know if I had a boyfriend (she has legal custody and I live with her) and she said she'd kill me (in a non literal sense) if I ever dated anyone who was of a different race. No exaggeration, she would make me live with my aunt down the road. My aunts nephew, is currently dating this girl named Janine, who is of a different race, and she's AMAZING. Me and my aunt are more open minded than most of the family. So me and her, and Jesse (the nephew) and Janine, went to the mall one day.

But I don't want to lose my friends / be disowned by my family, what do I do?
First, I am glad to hear that you do not share the view that it is wrong to date based upon racial differences. This is a very dated and ignorant view that will certainly not disappear altogether, but is being challenged more frequently. We cannot change other people's minds for them, but we can give them opinions and examples of living outside the narrowness to which they are accustomed. Most people are threatened by change and will react with defensive and sometimes offensive behavior and words. Be prepared to offer understanding of their fear, but do not back down in what you know to be right in your own heart and mind. Sometimes people just need to get over the first reaction and shock. Don't ever give up the hope that hearts can open. This usually has to occur before minds can change. If you lose a friend because of their own judgements and bigotry, then it is their loss and definately not yours. It is hard to be a minority voice for any issue, but keep strong and learn more about racial equality and the challenges that have been and are continually being faced all over the world. Any problem can be turned into an opportunity for willing individuals who are not afraid to lead. You sound like a leader to me.

Thanks so much

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BitsandPieces
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


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http://www.coolnurse.com/

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http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

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The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

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You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

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Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
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--------------------------------
All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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