tasuki's advice column

my friend kayla .. thought it would be a GREAT joke to IM my boyfriend and act like some girl looking to hook up .. and the thing is that kayla has a tendency to make things up .. or to invision things differently when she doenst like the person .. and she really really didnt like how my boyfriend treated me.

well she called me after she 'IMed him' as mandy moody, and he apparently asked her for pictures, her age, grade, and said that he had a girlfriend but wasnt thinking it would last much longer, becuase 'i didnt put out'.

so when i heard this, i got very hurt and very upset. and i tend to make snap decisions and judgements in the heat of hte moment .. so i broke up with him .. now i realize talkin to him would have been a better idea.

the more and more i think about it, the more and more it seems as if kayla maybe did say that just to get me to dump cody .. her own sort of motivation in a way .. because for someone who had such a problem with me not puttin out, he never made any moves .. all the things we did do I INITIATED! .. so i guess my question is .. what should i do .. try and talk to him .. see if i can get him to take me back .. how would be the best way to go about doing that?

guys opinion .. would you take someone who did that back ..?

i mean i wasn't completely happy with how he treated me, but i cant do this anymore. i cry constantly. the only time i dont cry is when i sleep, and then i dream about him. so i wake up and cry more .. i liked this kid for over a year. 7 months of that was trying to get over him. now ive dated him and fell harder, and now i have to give him up. what kills me is i didnt lose him, i let him go ...

Go to him and tell him the entire situation. It's a good idea to take turns talking about it. If you want, you can designate an object, and whoever is holding it does the talking. Don't beg to be taken back. Just tell him everything you told us and say, "I hope you can forgive me." Then it will be his turn to say what he wants, because I'm sure he's more than a little hurt. I've seen guys take girls back after things like this, but if he doesn't, it's not such a big deal. You got it off your chest, and you'll be amazed how good that feels no matter what the outcome. And whatever happens, look on the bright side. If he doesn't take you back, just focus on the fact that you weren't completely happy with him anyway--it'll be better for you and it will be easier to get over him.

If you have any more questions after talking to him, feel free to ask me.

-Lea

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(Rating: 5) we talked about it .. and it turns out kayla really was just tryin to get me to let him go .. because if he was goina dump me for not doin stuff, why would he take me back .. which he did. he says he still wnats to be with me .. thanks for the advice ..

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