tasuki's advice column

I'm a 16/f and my best friend is gay.

Okay, well, his family is very religious and grounded in "southern" beliefs, and if he comes out to his parents he is afraid he will be kicked out of his house.

He is going to tell his mom first, and THEN his dad, and hasn't told either of them yet. However, he is pretty sure that both of them already know, because of how he acts and things he likes and the fact that most of his friends are girls, and yeah.

He is adament about coming out to them, because he doesn't want to hide who he is, and I don't blame him. Do you think that he, at just 16, should WAIT to come out to them? I dont know what swort of advice I can give him. What should I be doing to help the situation?

I think he's waited enough. Coming out is something that he needs to do, and if he believes the time is right, then it is. Unfortunately, his fear is a reality for many people. If the worst should happen, just be there for him, and ask your parents if he can stay at your house.

You may want to read a few things first. http://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html is helpful, and you can find more information through google.

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm not giving you enough information. But the truth is, he's doing something really big and it may or may not turn out well. Cheer him on, and be there for him if it doesn't work. I should add that many parents don't react the way they're expected to. I read a true story about a man who was never close to his father at all--the day he told his father he was gay was the first time they hugged. So it may be wonderful! It might be rocky at first, and with time become easier. And it might not end up well at all. No matter what happens, be there for him as a friend and show that you love him. That's most important.

Be sure to tell your friend that I'm cheering for him!

-Lea

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(Rating: 5) thanks, i will =)

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