tasuki's advice column

IM 15/f and i really like this kid who has a gf and turns 18 today. i've practicaly changed part of my life to win him over. I think i;m going to give up b/c he has a gf. i talked to him a while ago. i was stupid last month and told him i loved him. he said he kinda liked me but he has a gf. she is 17. I started to dress different and listen to different music and like different things. do you think i should give up on him and just stop thinking/talking to him/seeing him. or should i act like everything is fine? he is going to help me this summer to helo me join the basketball team next year. im rly excited. i dont know what to do though b/c everytime i see him or talk to him i fall in love with him again. he flirts with me and everything and i love it. but, i dont know if i can do it anymore. so do you think i should forget all about him and move on or should i just continue getting my heart broken when i see him and just wait for something to finally happen? i rate good answers.

thanks!!

Yes, you really should give up on him. You stay this way and things are going to get messed up. What if he leaves his girlfriend for you? You may think it's great for you, but put yourself in her position. I've seen it happen many times--the guy leaves his girlfriend for another girl, the other girl is hurt, all out war between the friends of all people involved. I've also seen my best friend struggle trying to get an unavailable guy's attention. You have no idea how much it hurt me to see her hurt like that. You are not going to be happy with this guy, especially since you had to change part of your life for him. NEVER, EVER change yourself for a guy. I cannot stress that enough. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they are not worth your time. I'm not saying he's a horrible guy, but he's not the guy for you. If you don't think you can be friends with him without falling in love, tell him you can't be friends, and walk away.

Also, a side note (but an important one): the fact that he's flirting with you, though he KNOWS a relationship isn't possible, shows that he's not a great guy. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, as they say, which means that he wants his girlfriend, but he wants to fool around with you on the side. Don't let guys use you like this!

Oh, and if he ever did end up going out with you, he'd probably do the same thing behind your back.

I know it's hard, but you have to get over him. And in the future, you have to protect yourself, or you're going to have more than your heart broken. A bad guy will ALWAYS tell you that he's a bad guy, you just have to be paying attention. This guy has bright yellow warning lights all over him.

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(Rating: 5) thank you soooo much. i think i am beginging to get over him. but its soo had not to like him the way i do. and you are right, i hear shitty things about him.

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