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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish
advice
Okay, well I made a promise not to lose my virginity before I got married. Not only did I promise myself, but I promised my friend (let say his name is Mark). So.. I found this guy I'm totally heels over head with (lets say his name is Anthony). I fell for this guy, and within the first 3 months, we became intimate. This was back in September. We're still together, and going strong, but we do have sex. I know I broke that promise to myself, but my friend had JUST found out (months later) and now like thinks I'm so stupid, and that I hurt him and blah blah blah. Cuz he's my "best friend", and yeah if you can't tell, he likes me ALOT. And I feel like I've let him down. I love Anthony, I don't regret having sex with him, and I'll keep having it. But how do I tell Mark that he needs to move on, and that it's my own life. Please give me good answers, I'll give good ratings!!
You can't give him any metaphors or say "you really hurt my feelings, blah blah blah." You have to tell him EXACTLY how you feel, how he's treating you, and why he has no right to treat you this way. Say, "I'm not your property. It's my body and my choice, and you have no say in it. You really need to grow up and get over it. If you keep acting this way I may need to end my friendship with you." Actually, him putting you down and saying that you hurt him are technically signs of abusiveness. I'm not saying he's abusing you, I'm just saying that those are signs. And I think you should note that I am VERY paranoid when it comes to abuse and I often tend to make a big deal out of nothing. But if you tell him how you feel about it and he doesn't lay off and you start to feel that he is trying to control you, go to your parents or the police or anyone right away. Hopefully that isn't the case, and he's just being immature. Don't feel like you've let him down. Promise or not, it's not his body. And if you are being stupid (which I'm sure you're not, you sound really together) then that's your mistake to make.
(Rating: 5) thank you so so sooooo much ! ! your advice helped me alot ! !