about

I'm an 29 year old guy.
I'll always do my best to give well considered and sincere advice - give me your best shot. P.S. Don't be afraid to ask me private questions, I rarely spend a lot of time answering non-private questions.

o.o There is apparently a FORUM for me if you would like to talk about random non-advice stuff. Take off your shoes!

advice

so first off, thanks for helping.

the reason why we cant be solid is .. this. we dated for aweek, then he broke up with me because .. well i have no idea. then we started to date, the same day.and dated for 8 months. then we broke up because he went to a pool party and made out with some girls. then we dated on and off ovver the summer .. and broke up because i was out of town, or he was. then we have dated 2 times this school year, to make a year, and he broke up with me to try other girls.

he's my age, my grade. and he is normally always nice to me. he treats me the same in front as his friends as he does when we are alone. when we date his introduces me as "his girlfriend" or "amaizing girlfriend" or somethingl ike that.

and he's more of a .. well i dont know how to explain him. he's sweet, really sweet. but then he can be mean, to some people. he doesnt really speak his mind, but is wonderful with making sure i know that he 'loves' me.


so there is a little more info on him.
if you can help me out, still.. that would be wonderful.
is this worth it? him and me dating. do you think that we will last?

thank you SO much. for real ♥

Hi again,
To be honest, I wouldn't expect anything between you two to last. If it did, most likely it would be because you'd been blinded by his "love"-ing manipulation, and let him do things you never should have stayed with him after.
The boy you're talking about sounds a lot like a 'player'. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Player_(dating) .
Not perhaps, a very old or prolific player, (That definition is actually rather narrow for the way I'm using the term)
but it sounds like he is manipulating you enough to jerk you around.
I say so because of these things:
"he broke up with me because .. well i have no idea" - He should have told you. You don't break up with someone for no reason. You should have been asking for a good reason he broke up with you in the first place before you started dating him again. I'd probably take a guess that he found somebody else that he wanted to go out with, but they turned him down.
"Then we broke up because he went to a pool party and made out with some girls" - That is a no-no. This is the thing that most makes me want to bop you on the head, and make you realise what a prick the guy you've been dating is. When a guy mucks around he is telling you you're not good enough for him. It's not true, usually it's the other way around - he's not good enough for you. By messing around with some girls at a pool party, the guy has basically abandoned your relationship in the hope of finding an easier, or perhaps 'prettier' target. When a guy does this you send him to hell. He has to come crawling back, promise to never do it again, mean it, and then never do it again.
"broke up because i was out of town, or he was" - Why does being out of town for a while mean that you have to break up with someone? The way I see it, relationships (The really solid ones which mean anything) should survive things like that. The whole point of being attached to someone is that you don't just forget about them because they've gone away for a few months. You wait for them to come home so you can tell them how much you love them. Show them that you didn't want to be with anybody else while they were away.
Maybe you don't mean broke up, so much as just stopped communicating. That's not necessarily a bad point, but only if he didn't mess about while you were away. By the sounds of it he probably did.
"broke up with me to try other girls" - Excuse the language, but WTF? You are THE girl. There is nobody else. If a guy has to break up with you to 'try' other girls then there is something massively wrong in his head. If he thinks that he can get away with that, and then just come waltzing back into a relationship with you a few months later when they all realise what a loser he is, then he's really insulting your intelligence. Maybe he thinks he can do better. You.. certainly can.
"introduces me as "his girlfriend" or "amaizing girlfriend"" - Gentlemanly. However, does he make it showy? I don't know, introducing you as his girlfriend is fine, but going around introducing you as amazing... there just seems to be something sleazy about doing it repeatedly. Don't worry about me, I'm just picky.
"He's sweet, really sweet. but then he can be mean, to some people." - Being sweet to girls is nice. Being mean to other people is an almost certain sign that he is a jerk. It sounds like the guy is selectively nice, which I suppose is fine from the point of view of being his girlfriend, but really doesn't make him a very nice person. It kind of makes you wonder if there's some reason that he has to be nice to girls... hmm?
"is wonderful with making sure i know that he 'loves' me." - Here's being picky again, but don't let him saying he loves you, and flattering you, and being sweet to you get in the way of looking at the whole guy. He might be nice to you, but is he an asshole to other people? Like your friends before he knows who they are... Being nice doesn't make up for being unfaithful either. He might try to get you to forget about it, because he "won't do it again", but there is a limit to the number of mistakes a guy can make before his excuses become meaningless.

Well, after that comprehensive beat-up of your 7-time boyfriend, I'd like to say:
This is only the way I'm seeing it. If you don't think this boy is bad, if you think that he just made a mistake once, and that it really can work out then don't let me stop you from trying to make something work with the guy. On the other hand, just be careful not to get caught making or accepting anymore bullshit from him. If he's unfaithful, feed him to the dogs.

-K

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(Rating: 5) thank you so much.
you've helped

you're my hero!
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