Gender:
FemaleLocation:
United KingdomOccupation:
Arts and Crafts RetailAge:
22Member Since:
December 6, 2005Answers:
31Last Update:
May 30, 2006Visitors:
7128Favorite Columnists
karenR
Razhie
BlackAngel
lucretia
TheOldOne
Main Categories:
Pets
Spirituality
Love Life
View All
about
..
.
.
.
.
Welcome to my advice column. My name is Dawn. First, I assure you I am not like other young people at all. There is nothing about me that is overly special. I have an extreme fear of going back in time, getting stuck there then contracting a disease that's curable now but not curable then, and of being drowned by peacocks. o.0 I have little respect for what hasn't earned it, most of the world is little more than my plaything or a joke to me but what makes it inside my walls is there forever. I was probably tampered with as a child by aliens. Godspeed.
This is an advice column. I have little patients for idiots...
Q: Can I ask you a question?
A: You just did, now I'm all out of answers for today, try again never.
Q: What's the song that goes like this ... ?
A: How is this asking for advice?
Q: I had unprotected sex 23,086,165 times, am I pregnant?
A: Take a damn test and stop being such a whore.
Q: Does he like me?
A: If you have to ask stupid questions like this, to complete strangers who know neither of you, then I highly doubt it. And if he does, then he's an idiot.
Q: Ok, I have to write this essay on (fill in the blank), what should I write?
A: Try growing a brain to think for yourself. You'll never amount to anything if you try to get others to do your homework for you.
Q: Rate this picture, am I ugly?
A: Once again, how is this asking for advice. Stop trying to get self-confirmation through strangers online. You have real self-issues and should probably see a therapist.
Q: Lyk how do u no if u r a lez?
A: You should really learn proper spelling and grammar. It's beyond me how anyone can understand a thing you said.
If you have a serious question, I can be one of the most helpful people you know. I may be only 22, but I have experienced a lot in my life. If I don't know the answer to your delema, I wont pretend to know it and give some random answer that sounded good at the time, I will simply let you know that I don't have the answer, and reffer you to some place that you can find the answer.
advice
I do not understand the double standard that a guy cannot say, "No" to sex with out the being deemed as having problems.
In my last three relationships the women have left me because I have wanted to take the relationship slowly. Each time it has centered around the fact that I have said, "No" to intercourse.
In the last two relationships I explained before it went anywhere that I would not engage in intercourse until I felt our relationship was solid and committed. Each of the women said they thought this was wonderful and understood. I made it clear up front because the first woman I said no to was hurt and rejected. We talked about it and she said she was ready and that she had never had anyone say no to her. This is why I explained to the next two, up front, front how I felt. I do not want to hurt anyone.
When the foreplay began and it went no further than oral sex they become upset and angry with me. In the second and third relationship this has happened after only two months. I do not want to have intercourse until I am sure that we know each other well enough and that the possibility of a future exists. One that might lead to marriage. I am at that point in my life where I would like to settle down and have a wife and family. It seems as though they do not believe I am serious because they attempt to take it further each time we are together. I have to keep saying, "NO". They have asked me if I was gay, impotent, or just didn't like sex. Each time I am made to feel as though I have a problem or something is wrong with me. None of these things are true. After this happens a wall builds between us until no communication takes place and then the relationship ends.
Please help me understand why it is wrong for me wanting to wait just because I am a guy.
You issue isn't the double standards. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, then she shouldn't be a tease. Same thing goes for men. If you mean "no" then don't take it any further than a good-night kiss.
It's good that you are telling women up front now that you want to take things slow, and that you don't want to have sex until you are sure the relationship is going to last, that it might even have to be a marriage-matieral long-lasting relationship before you'll have sex. Everyone needs to place those thoughts and criteria on the table at the beginning of any relationship.
However, you really shouldn't let the relationship get to the point of oral sex(especially so quickly) if you're not planning on having sex with them. Oral sex is still sex, even though there is no intercourse involved. You're letting these women get turned on to the point where they want to have sex, and where they think you want to have sex. And after they are turned on, you stop.
It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait. But just make sure you don't send them the wrong signals.
Sincerly Yours,
Tipsy Gypsy
(Rating: 5) While I don't want to believe it, I know it is true.