E-mail:
lawwing-yan@hotmail.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
Edinburgh, Scotland.Age:
20MSN:
lawwing-yan@hotmail.comMember Since:
January 20, 2011Answers:
179Last Update:
April 20, 2014Visitors:
10024about
Hey guys. I'm just a girl going through the transition of a teenager to an adult and all that it entails.
I've had a colourful life with many a lesson learned and much to offer. Whether you want advice, support or just a chat then all you gotta do is reach out.
I'm honest, whether it hurts or not, but i'm fair; open minded and philosophical, a little crazy yet very logical, at times rather controversial.
If you have a question go ahead and ask!
advice
It's a bit of a long one!
I have two friends who I've known for a few years and in this time they've made their feelings known for each other which is fine by me. The trouble is, he doesn't know what he wants, where as she wants a long term relationship with him. She keeps asking me for advice and I'm just running out of things to tell her. I tell her that if something was going to happen, I think it would have happened by now. But then things do happen, like they kiss or he tells her he loves her and loves spending time with her but then seems to pretend like it never happened. When she asks him if they're going to get together he says maybe, I just don't know what I want. They're planning to go away on holiday together for two weeks in June this year and she wants to know if she should go all the way with him, but she doesnt want to ruin their friendship as she thinks he'll just pretend like it never happened, which will mean she will end their friendship because things haven't changed, which would also ruin my friendship with them too. What advice should i give her?
Thanks in advance!
He certainly seems smitten with her but i think she's putting a little too much pressure and expectation on him. They're clearly past the "just friends" stage and have, consciously or not, already decided that it was worth risking their friendship for the possibility of a romantic relationship.
The best thing your friend can do on this holiday is back off a little and let them both get to know eachother in a more intimate way and discover how compatible they are as more than just friends.Hopefully that'll give them enough understanding of themselves and eachother to know whether they want to go further with this or not.
This could also be a time for them to open up a little more and communicate. She can let him know that this indifference he has whenever she tries to talk to him wont be tolerated and she deserves his honesty.
They both have a part to play in this and its time to stop the games and just be straight with eachother.
Is he interested at all? Getting back out there dating. Meet a guy who’s moving across the world in two weeks. I like him so much already! He’s told me he doesn’t want a commitment or anything serious due to his move. He invited me over to his place to watch a movie, talk, and cuddle. We haven’t had sex. He actually rejected me. But he did give me oral sex first,…….. He contacts me about every other day. But I don’t feel like he’s even chasing me. He said he’ll visit in about a year because he has friends here still and that he and I will see each other again.
We both happen to be getting out of bad marriages. Both of our spouses cheated on us.....
There seems to be a definite attraction here. But like he said, he doesnt want anything serious or to be tied down and from what you've described he seems to be reiterating this in his actions and mannerisms. After leaving a troubled marriage some just dont want to be tied down again straight away - as well as him moving.
He definitely appears to want you to play a part in his life in that he's making efforts to maintain a relationship with you but there's really nothing at all to suggest that you should expect anything more than friendship out of him with some benefits on the side.
At the same peoples feelings and circumstances change. there's always a chance he'll want more from your relationship but in the near future dont expect such things from him. Instead maybe try focusing more on getting to know eachother better. Who knows. In a few months or years the dynamic of your relationship could change.
so my problem is that my boyfriend had cheated on me with me two bfffe's and i don't know what to do? what do you think i should do?
Regardless of my having no idea what a "bfffe" is, I think the answer is rather clear. The fact that you are conflicted as to whether you should stay with him or not tells me that he either means a lot to you or you have some sort of dependency issues with him. Either way I'm afraid to say that you can do much better than him.
Cheating at all whilst in a committed relationship can totally damage a persons trust yet it doesn't necessarily have to end that relationship, depending on the circumstances leading to adultery.
However, the fact that not only did he cheat on you twice - but with your best friends - shows that he clearly doesn't care for you and respect you as much as you'd like him to regardless of what he says. A person who loves you or even has a small amount of respect for you just doesn't do that.
It's difficult to give a detailed answer to your question when I don't know the circumstances or anything more of the people involved but from what you've told me it seems to be a no brainer.
Chances are this wasn't the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. There are many years and many more boyfriends: ones that won't betray you as your partner has. I'd seriously re evaluate not only your choice in boyfriends but in your "friends" as well.
this summer i plan on doing both bungee jumping and sky diving. i was wondering if anyone knows a rough estimate as to how much that would cost?
It varies between centres, locations etc but from what ive googled in the recent past it's atleast 200 - 400 although i think bungee jumping would be slightly cheaper. As i say it depends so i'd suggest googling for companies in your area and an average price.
Hi,
Im 21 and 5'4". I currently weigh around 160. in my past i was aneroxic and had to fight not to go to the hospital, but i was HAPPY with my image. i ate what i needed to keep energy and after high school, i gained 30 lbs. its not like i dont work out, I DO, 2 times a week. and I do eat healthy. im just becoming angry at myself and about to drop the food and everything else because i cannot handle it anymore. any advise or word to from the wise?
Anorexia, like many other mental illnesses, is something that stays with you for life just in varying degrees. I think where it concerns your weight or future stresses and problems, your mind will resort to a very anorexic way of thinking.
I think you have to make more of an effort to find a positive balance with your diet and exercise as well as learning better coping mechanisms and distraction techniques.
Maybe eating little and often, reviewing your diet every so often and reminding yourself that its okay to eat, you need it to survive. Keep yourself in a logical mind when it comes to your food and self imagine when you feel yourself becoming emotionally vulnerable.
Also possibly increase your exercise to 3 - 4 times per week so that you start seeing a difference or join a sports team where your mind isnt on burning the calories and fat away but enjoying yourself in a social environment.
I'd also recommend getting maybe a support worker or a community psychiatric nurse that you could see weekly or something of that nature. Such illnesses like eating disorders can stay with a person for years even when they have satisfactorily recovered to the point where they can live as independently from services as you are. They can give you the professional support you need as well as someone to talk to.
my boyfriend loves his ps3 blacks ops game. most of the time its what he talks about. finally i told him i don't care about black ops. and then it was like, we don't really have anything to talk about. we have been together for about a year and a half and are both 16 in highschool. i love him, i really do, but i get scared that we will split up because we never have things to talk about. other than the same old, how are you, how was your day, we don't really have much to talk about anymore. should i look for topics to think of to bring up in a conversation? but that seems desperate because we've been together, its not like a first date. but it feels like it. :(
All relationships tend to reach a point where you're stuck in a rut. I think maybe its time to get talking about your relationship more.
Are you both putting in the effort equally to keep the relationship interesting? Do you make an effort to get involved in activities thats important or fun for either of you? Do you have things in common anymore?
You're still very young. At sixteen youre constantly growing, maturing and learning about who you are. People change and can drift apart, especially in formative years.
Maybe plan a few more romantic meals, exciting days out and romantic nights in. You'll soon know whether you're still right for eachother or not.
You can still deeply care for someone yet realise theres nothing left in your relationship, that theres no future for the two of you.
Chances are you'll have other boyfriends and he's not the one you'll settle down with. This is a problem that even many adult couples face: whether the relationship has a future or not.
Even if it doesnt work out it doesnt mean that you cant still be friends and it doesnt erase the meaningful and significant time you've spent togeather.
You're sixteen. There's plenty time for a committed relationship. Both of you figure out what you want from yourselves, the relationship and go from there.
does anyone know some exercises that helps you lose stomach fat and thigh fats?
The best thing you can do is eat right and get on with the cardio!
Portion control and eating your fruits, veg, pulses, lean meats and foods full of fibre to keep you feeling fuller for longer. Eating little and often can also help if youre trying to change unhealthy eating patterns.
Cardio burns fat. If you're consistent then you'll see results. Set realistic goals for yourself.
Find exercise you're really into such as swimming which works the whole of your body, going for runs, exercise classes aswell as generally keeping active and getting out of the house. You could even ask a friend to be your work out buddy and motivate eachother.
There's nothing worse than doing an exercise that you dont enjoy, you'll just lose the motivation.
Okay, so I just realized this year's Valentine's Day falls on a Monday.
Problem is, it's a school day. My boyfriend and I go to the same college. However, on Mondays, with our schedules, we have no free time in common, not until the last class of the day. Mine ends at 5pm, his..after 8.
Keeping in mind that we can't leave campus and his and my roommates are probably gonna be in their respective rooms that day, what can we even do on V-day that'll be even SOMEWHAT special? We can't do anything over the weekend because chances are, I'll be celebrating my mom's birthday.
Help?
Does this stop you doing anything after classes?
Maybe have a late dinner in a lovely restaurant or after a long day of classes perhaps you'd prefer eating in, watching a smooshy romance movie or even spending the next few hours in bed complete with chocolate covered strawberries, candles and some barry white playing in the background!
\maybe pay off your room mates to be bunk with their friends for the night. Though they may be spending the night with their significant other too!
my boyfriend doesnt know that im really a virgin and sooner or later we are going to have sex. would he be able to tell im a virgin when he has sex with me for the first time? if so is there anyway i could break my own hymen?
Are you sure you're ready to be in a sexual relationship when you cant approach your significant other over your virginity?
It changes from person to person but usually it does feel uncomfortable to painful, you may bleed, and you may be so tight he can hardly enter you.
Spend as long as possible on foreplay to get you adequately aroused and lubricated (its also a great idea for first times to use extra lubrication).
Go slowly and play it by feel.
Chances are he'll suspect that youre a virgin. Your hymen stretches to acomodate something as large as a penis so it can take several times, and possibly longer to feel the benefits of vaginal penetration.
Your best bet is to be honest. He should respect you and go at a pace that is comfortable for you.
17/f
i dont know what the hell happened to me but after like getting involved in a relationship when i was 12/13 of two years ever since im an emotional wreck. like i cry at EVERYTHING. and like its ruining the relationship with my current boyfriend like im just so over emotional for no reason. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME. I think i cry atleast once a day. Today i was crying because i missed my boyfriend and we just didnt hang out for a day HELP ME.
There are many things you can initially do before you resort to anything else. Make the effort to try to improve all aspects of your life.
First get involved in things youre passionate about. Be it a sport, education, whatever. Explore and see what youre good at.
Take up exercise. Not only will it give you a confidence boost, but the feel good chemicals are released during and after a good work out. All doctors will recommend exercise, it does wonders for the heart and mind.
Find that person that you can trust no matter what and get talking. Pour your heart out. Not only will it strengthen your relationship but the feeling of having never ending support and love from someone is something we all need once in a while.
Find things that make you feel good about yourself and spend time with others who are important to you and who make you feel as good as you should.
What to do with a four year old who wont listen to anything. He screams, talks back, throws temper tantrums, you try and put him in time out and just makes the situation worse. I cant get him to listen to anything I say. If there is something he doesnt want to eat he screams about it. Its like this all the time. He didnt used to be this way. hes even told me husband that he is not his father (step dad). He does what he wants when you ask him to stay out of the fridge or put something back he throws a fit.
Children thrive on structure and boundaries.
Your child clearly doesnt respect you as an authority figure and i think before anything you need to ask yourself why that is.
Give your child exercise daily in games that promote working as a team such as football or supervise an hour in the park where he can continue to develop important social skills.
Give him a daily routine of up at a certain time, ready at a certain time, slots for meals and activities as well as a bed time. When he has free time get his mind going with learning his abc's, 123's, language skills.. theres so much for their spongy brains to soak up! Or perhapps get the creative juices flowing with some painting. Or when you have chores get him involved in picking the groceries from his child shopping list. Bond with eachother and do activities that help him grow as an individual.
When you give him a time out be consistent. If he runs off you keep putting him back there, even if it takes three hours, until he gets the message. Let it be known that you wont entertain his bad behaviour, teach him what you expect of him, and even though its so frustrating and hard, keep your cool and dont intimidate him by shouting or being in his face. Youre the parent, youre in control, you set the examples.
I take my dogs to my in-laws frequently as they have one of my dogs puppies as well as a new dog. I have a male and a female that grew up living on my in-laws property. They are still territorial when they are there. My in-laws have a new female dog who is approximately 1yr old. Something occurred yesterday between the dogs (nobody witnessed what happened) and the german shepherd was badly injured. We did not realize the extent of the injuries, we only knew she had a few cuts on different parts of her body. The dog died in the middle of the night.
I feel horrible about this and am probably very lucky that this occurred on my parent's property with their dogs and not a friend or stranger. I do not know what I am supposed to do about my dogs. My partner and I feel that our female was the cause but again, nobody witnessed what actually happened. We know the facts are there were four dogs, two males and two females. We know that neither our male or female was injured and their son did not appear to be either, may have been bit on his face but nothing serious. HELP. We need advice from someone who is unbiased. We really are searching for the right thing to do in this situation.
My first inclination is to keep my dogs home and simply take proper percautions for the future now that we're aware of what could happen.
Do your honework and learn dog psychology. I cannot stress how important and necessary this is as a dog owner.
Next thing is to get a reputable dog behaviourist, a professional. Its just as easy to make things worse even when youre trying to make them better.
In taking on a dog you agreed to teach the dog right from wrong and take responsibility for all aspects of it. There is clearly a need in your dogs life that you arent fulfilling, intentionally or not.
I could type out a whole load of things that you should do and need to know but i want you, as an owner, to do your homework on this. I'd suggest looking up Cesar Millan as a start.
17 f
I just got a new puppy. He's 1 month and a half and a yorkie. I don't know what to do, he's horrible. I tried to walk him. And he won't walk he's too small plus its too cold outside. I bought him puppy pads so he can pee and do his "business" on but he doesn't. He does it everywhere around the house. My mom hates it. Its starting to smell horrible. (The house) and she wants me to give him away. I don't want too cause I love him plus I paid so much money for him. And if she knew she would make me return him. As far as she knows I got it for "free". But anyway, how do I train him? What do I do? I already bought him the spray that smells like pee so I can spray it on the pad and he can know where to pee on. But he doesn't do it there. He does it everywhere and that's a problem. What do I do? Please help. I don't want my mom to take me away from max :( thankyou!
Before getting a dog the FIRST thing an owner mustdo is learn how dogs behave. I seriously suggest you read up on your dog psychology. It seems you are treating the dog as a child and not as a dog. You show a dog love with boundaries, discipline, exercise and food. Last of all is affection.
Unless you're going to freeze to death then its not too cold for a dog. They need once a day. Either give your dog several half hour walks a day or fewer hour plus long walks a day. Buy a collar for around the neck. Relax your shoulders and arms, hold your head high, dog on a short leash and force him to walk. Keep him in toe with you. As you learn more of behaviour then you will notice good and bad behaviour on walks.
Youll need to recognise how they use their eyes, ears, head, whole body as well as what theyre really trying to say to you.
Let your dog outside every two or three hours to do his business. When he tries to do his business in the house then gently and calmly (but firmly) scold him and show him where to do his business. He will make mistakes but he will get the message if youre consistent. Only correct at the time. dogs never live in the past. if you correct him after, he wont know what he has done wrong.
Being outdoors will have smells of other animals. he'l naturally want to mark his territory and when he does well, really praise the crap outta him for doing the right thing. Dogs respond well to consistent discipline.
Do your homework and learn how to be a proper pack leader!
I have a very good friend who lives at home with his mother, his 18 year old sister,and his 35 year old sister and her daughter. This woman (the 35 year old) is crazy. Among other problems she causes for this family, she has 15+ cats and two very aggressive dogs living in their garage.
Personally, I've only been in their garage once- they don't like me in there. The conditions are horrible. It's filthy, there's garbage everywhere, and the litterboxes go uncleaned. The woman puts out a few dishes of food, but it's hardly enough for all the cats, and that's assuming that the given food is divided equally between all of them. (obviously not happening.)
Only a few of the male cats are neutered, and none of the females are spayed. I am sure that none of them are up to date on their vaccines. My friend had told me that many of the cats have eye infections that have been going untreated for a while now.
My problem is, what can I do? I know I am capable of helping. I have a lot of experience with animals, particularly cats, and I am a student of vet medicine. But I can't get involved personally, because the woman would not allow me. She truly believes she's taking care of the cats properly, and gets very violent if you try to tell her otherwise. My friend knows that there are problems, and has tried to talk to her himself, but to no avail.
I am thinking about calling someone to go look at the situation, like a local shelter or animal control. My problem with this is that I am very close with everyone else in the house, and I feel that an experience like that could really distress them. One of my concerns, is that the family also has 4 house cats (properly taken care of) that they love dearly. Would animal control take them away too?
The whole situation bothers me deeply. I feel I really need to protect the cats being neglected, but I can't bear to cause disturbance in my friend's home.. Besides that, his sister will hold a personal grudge against me. I know it's the right thing to do, but it's a tricky situation. Can anyone help?
The answer really is simple. Call your local SPCA and insist they investigate your claims. They have the authority to force the owners to comply with the law involving domestic animals. They can remove the animals, force the owner to vastly improve living conditions, confiscate animals and even take the case to court. They will ensure the pets welfare isd taken care of and follow up periodically with the owners. Theres no excuse.
"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
everytime i try to shave "down there" i can never get a clean look without bleeding or a lot of ingrown hairs! what are the EXACT steps/products i should use to shave. please be very specific!!!!
You can do many things to improve conditions after shaving such as sharper blades, sensitive shaving gel for women etc. but you will still get a degree of irritation and ingrown hairs.
Other - and more popular - options are hair removal creams and/or waxing which produce the desired effects.
I personally favour waxing that produces a very smooth and clean surface that lasts much longer.
um...im 18 years old n i have a boyfriend and he is 18 about to be 19 this year next week and we always have sex everyday but i think when we having sex and i give him head i feel like im doing it wrong one nite he told me i need to stop tring to deep troat and i knw i cant but i want to try new things n our sex life how do i try to get him to do new things with me without him thinking i cant cause we never did it befo he always tell me he is playing when he say things like that but i dnt think he do i feel like im doin it wrong and it hurts my feelings wen he say things like that how do i fix it
When you are in an adult relationship and choose to be sexually involved with a person you need to be able to talk about these things.
The essential element in any relationship is communication. You'll never get better or cater to your spouse's preferences if you dont talk to eachother about it.
Experiment with different positions, games or situations to discover what you both like and dislike. Make time for you both to talk about your sex life.
Dont be afraid to tell your partner what you think and feel. It may also be worth mentioning that his criticism is unnecessary. Instead of putting you down, he could be making suggestions as to what would make oral stimulation more pleasurable for him.
If he cares and respects you as he should then he should respect how you feel and recognise your effort to improve things between both of you. Remind him that this is a two way street and that you both need to make more of an effort to e open minded and patient with eachother as you learn. Theres nothing like experience!
If you dismisses you and how you're feeling then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship as well as the decision to become sexually active with him.
I'm really not the emo type. I'm a cheerleader, age 16 , and I sing and play violin.. but suddenly my dad has been acting like such an asshole to me. He yells at me over nothing. I could be studying silently and he'd yell that I was being lazy and needed to clean. Anyways, I have a swiss pocket knife I took from him when I got mad and never had intentions of using it. One day I felt like shit and he was going off again and I didn't even know what I was doing but I cut all up and down my one arm and I did feel better. However I need to stop. No parents or doctors or adults involved. I can't deal with them. Please help..
Despite what you think, you really do need to involve someone in this. An adult you can whole heartedly trust. Self harm can be extremely addictive, destructive and influence your entire life. You need to talk to someone about how youre feeling and learn how to cope with stressful situations in a more positive manner.
Have you ever approached your father, really calmly and quietly, and just simply asked him why he's yelling at you? Have you had a proper conversation about how you treat eachother, how you affect one another? Your fathers mood swings are not going to just disappear - if anything, it sounds as if they may escalate - so, like the cutting, you need to nip this in the bud before the situation worsens.
If you dont feel confident enough to approach him on your own, find that trusted individual and approach him togeather.
Learning interpersonal skills and coping mechanisms are things we all need to learn in life. Dont let your problems cripple or force you into a desperate act. There are people who can help. Dont shut them out.
Hey
i dont get if im insecure or not.
I mean i am pretty confident @ talking to people
and just being myself really. But i feel so down sometimes. Like, i look around and see all these people that are so happy, and im not. and they're so proud of themselves over everyhing and im not. especially these; theyr all skinny, and pretty .. and im not. and everyones in a relationship..and im not. i get so sad about it! i feel like a loser!
Insecurity is something that all people go through in their life and what you're describing is something I'm sure we call all relate to.
It is a great sign that you can see your strengths, positive attributes about yourself. There are clearly some areas in your life that you could work on, so why not?
Despite how many people appear - especially in public - every one of them will have periods that you are describing just now. It's apart of growing up and finding yourself.
Maybe it's time to shake things up a little. Get yourself out with a good group of friends. Have a night on the town or make an effort to spend osme more time with the people you care about in life.
Also take up some hobbies like exercise which is a very social thing to do which also releases some awesome feel-good chemicals. Not to mention its a complete confidence lifter!
Everyone grows and matures at their own pace; having boyfriends, choosing career paths, finding out what they love in life.. it's cliche but in the end it comes down to experience and growth in your own time.
You'll find the things you're missing in life if you stop moping about them. Talk to someone you trust when youre down, do the things that make you happy, work on things youre passionate about. Youre young, live your life and look to the future. There are plenty times for a partner or popularity. Feel down? do something about it.
Believe it or not, if you take charge of your life, things will just fall into place. Get pro-active, stick with it and you'll be amazed at just how great things can get.
16/f
I'm probably a bit under average at school because I'm ADD and I'm a bit of a procrastinator, but when it comes to something that entertains me or that I'm passionate about, I work my butt off, particularly with writing since that's basically my only skill. Today a guy came to talk to us about careers and it got me to thinking about what I want to do. The problem?
What kind of a career could a person like me get?
I might not graduate for another two years since I'm missing a credit, so I think I have some time, but I still want to have a plan...
I was hoping for a job that might allow me to stay home since I never leave my house, unless it's to go to school, but that's it. Are there any careers for someone who prefers to stay at home with any writing skills? Maybe communication over the Internet or history or something? I've been told to try journalism, but I write complete fiction... And I never finish any of my stories, so there's a flaw in my writing skills. Anyway, yea, my question is what kind of careers are there out there for people like me?
Hi there!
There are many different jobs you can do from home from running a business, IT related things, civil servant jobs, writing and research jobs etc. Though I must say that you seem resigned to a limited life because of your ADD.
I think if you were to get help from a professional in managing your ADD, anxieties and putting a lot of effort into your studies, there's no reason at all why ADD needs to hold you back from having a career that you're passionate about.
As you've said, you'll be in school for a couple more years - use that time to challenge yourself and your abilities and see what you can really do when you put your mind to it. You may surprise yourself.
You dont need to decide right now. Just learn to enjoy learning and exploring, see where that takes you.
Best of luck!