I am a wife and a mother of three grown sons. I live in New York and am an equestrian. Most of my free time is spent riding and caring for my horses now that my sons are out of the house.
I give down to earth advice, as I tell it like I see it...and I've seen alot.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Member Since: January 17, 2009
Answers: 281
Last Update: September 11, 2011
Visitors: 18883
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Ok so some of you may have read my question before about Jordan and Coston and i was wondering if anyone has ever felt this before but i have been with Jordan for so long that i dont know how to be without him does anyone know how to make this go away??? And how do i tell Jordan that i cant be with him anymore?? Thanks =] (link)
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You are just comfortable and familiar with Jordan and because of that, you could be willing to overlook the crap this guy dishes your way. It's not worth it because, in the end, you will probably end up leaving him anyway. You don't want that to happen when you are married with children. Then, your childrens lives will be destroyed.
The uncomfortable feelings you have are not going to just go away. That will take time, but they will go away. You need to venture out and do the right thing. The right thing is not staying in a relationship where there is no trust.
I would tell Jordan, "You have cheated on me twice and I just don't trust you anymore. Any relationship needs to be based on trust or it doesn't work for at least one of the partners in the relationship. I've decided I don't want to see you anymore." There is no easy way. Just do it.
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My Boyfriend. I've never felt so close to anyone.
So I did something stupid and had sex with him too soon on Thursday. He sometimes would talk to me on the phone until I got home which would take 30 mins. He didn't afterwards. He wasn't even going to walk me to my car until I mentioned it or didn't give me a kiss goodbye. Maybe because I had to end it short because I had to go home. Ever since then he hasn't been the same. To think someone could be so cold and to use someone for sex, BUT I have my doubts because these are the good things he did that no one could just think of :
-He'd wake me up everymorning for school and text me after to make sure I was up.
-We text all day and he would tell me everything that was happening at work; even little jokes his coworkers said.
-After I was done with my hw he would call me.
-I texted him saying I was going to take a nap he said, "no, call me so we can fall asleep together."
-I told him I can't help driving fast and one day out of the blue he said, "please don't drive fast. I care too much for you." So, I stopped.
-He wrote a song for me and only let me hear a verse and said I couldn't hear the rest until he was done.
-He always texted me to drive safe, even if it was just around the corner.
-He took my ring finger a lot and said "This will be mine one day..."
-He asked what age did I want to get married and let him kno when I found out.
-He looked me in the eyes and said "please don't cheat on me." (because he'd asked if I ever had on someone because I did...)
-he would hold my hand while we watch t.v. and then smile.
-he would hold me and squeeze me tight while saying he missed me.
-He thought I was sleeping once and kissed me on the cheek.
-He would never hang up on the phone when he needed to make calls; he three-wayed me with them. Especially his parents. AND He always insisted I meet them.
(when he called people he would say, my name and say I was on the phone.)
-He would look me in the eyes and hold my hands and say "forever...?
-He kissed me on the cheek and then I would kiss him on his and then we'd kiss on the lips; a small cute peck.
-He told me then always showed me what an eskimo kiss was.
-He always asked if I was hungry or ok?
-He hated mangos, but I loved them, so one day at work he bought a mango drink and took a pic and sent it to me.
-I knew most of his friends and we'd laugh and play videogames with them.
-If I even mentioned a boy, he would get annoyed and not want to hear it. If I mentioned a girl for him he'd get even more annoyed.
-Right before we were going to have sex, he asked if I was sure and looked me in the eye seriously.
Bad, after sex (Thursday):
-He was getting in his car after I was leaving and said he was going to his mom's, when I got home and asked if he was still there he said he went to get food instead, but was in bed. (usually he would have told me he changed his plans.)
-He did not text me bak that night until midnight (before he had said "if I dnt text you back that means it didn't send. I'll always text back)
I asked him about it the next night and I said "out of all nights we don't talk on the phone, its the night we had sex. he got mad and surprised and confused basically. so I said I guess I'm trippin."
-Friday no call hardly text. said he was moving things with his dad's new house. Last week when he was moving his things, he talked to me on the phone and texted me while moving.
-Saturday a goodmorning baby text. I ask if he's done moving at around 9, he said all he had to do was move the tv. but around 1230 I asked if he was done yet, he said "No, its an all day thing." !! and by the way, he never texted me back after that.
-Around 8 he calls me after I called him on this girl's phone to see if he'd answer n he DID. he sounded like he was driving and said "hey baby I been turnin me phone on and off so I havnt called you. Can you come over at around 1 or 2 tomorrow? I'm leaving my dad's house in the morning. And baby I just want to let you know I have been thinking about you--" I hung up on him and gave him "yea sure" answers. 1st: when someone is lying they make up an excuse, I wasn't going to ask why he didn't call me. 2nd he never says a time for me to come over!
Concluding this: Am I overreacting to things? Is this just me trying not to be a broken hearted girl? Or is he just a hit it and quit it guy? But WHY and HOW could he do those things to me with such sincerity JUST for sex? Is he really that cold........?
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"I called him on this girl's phone..."
Was this a girl he shouldn't have been with? If so, then, that's a clue, don't ya think?
Don't try to contact him. If he doesn't contact you, then there's your answer.
Some guys are definitely users and will do and say anything to get in your pants. You've got to be careful. You shouldn't have sex with a guy unless you're dating for at least a year. That'll separate the BS artists from the guy who really cares for you. The BS artist will be long gone.
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Ok so im sorry if this is long but i really need help. So my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and 2 months now, but we have broken up quite a few times, two of them were because he cheated on me. Well this summer we were'nt dating and i really liked this kid Coston, his family and mine are really close but anyways we had a thing almost all summer long and then when school started again me and Jordan (kid mentioned at beginning) started dating again so mine and Costons thing just kinda ended well now i started talking to Coston again and i am really starting to like him again and im not sure what to do... i mean Jordan has hurt me a lot before and i dont really trust him but Coston has never hurt me and he just makes me smile. Dont get me wrong i love my boyfriend but i just dont know what to do anymore and i would really like some help!! Thanks for reading, hope it makes sense =] (link)
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I'd go with Coston. If your boyfriend cheated on you twice, he'll do it again and the fact that you don't trust him means you'll always have an uneasy feeling in that relationship. Rightly so.
Coston sounds like a nice guy and you can probably relax around him.
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How do gay men have sex? I was just curious and wanted to know what happens. I'm a girl so I don't know. (link)
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They can have anal and/or oral sex.
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I've been talking to this guy since about November of 2008. He got out of a 2 year relationship in October of 2008 and the girl he was with used him and played games with him. I made the idiot mistake of sleeping with him when we last hung out in Nov. That is the only time we’ve hung out. The thing is that he texts me almost daily and always initiates these texts. Sometimes he flirts a little and seems to want to impress me by mentioning how he just got back from the gym and we joke a lot. He has never asked me if I would like to spend time with him and see a movie or something like that. After I slept with him I told him that I don't normally do that with guys and that basically I'm not a slut. He told me he didn't think that at all. I finally got the courage to tell him I like him in December and he responded with something like "You're a very nice girl but I'm not ready for a relationship at all."
I was hurt and left him alone but he hasn't stopped staying in contact with me. I don't get the feeling that he wants me just for sex because he's never hinted at it or asked me for it. He's a good guy. So after months of him not ever once asking to hang out I finally just brought it up because I'm tired of just texting. He said we could hang out one of these days when he is off since he works quite a bit. Does it seem like he likes me or just sees me as a friend? I get the feeling that if he saw me just as a friend he obviously wouldn't flirt, or ask for my opinion on certain things, or even text me so much every day. I'd ask him but I don't want to scare him off. If he doesn’t see me as more than a friend, then why would he text me so much? He will even message me on myspace just to say hi. I mean he knows that I like him so I don’t see why he would want to send me mixed signals if he just saw me as one of his buddies.
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He's being blunt with you about not being ready for a relationship. He got burned in the previous one and is probably unsure about jumping into another, so he's being cautious.
I do think he likes you, but, you must play it cool. Don't push yourself on him in anyway or that could turn him off completely. It sounds like he really likes you, but sleeping with him was a mistake. Put that behind you and take things real slow. When he's ready to "hang out" with you, he will bring it up. Don't take the initiative to contact him or tell him you like him. Leave things the way they are and wait and see if he makes the first move from here.
If he likes you he will make a move, after all, he knows, now, that you like him. If you're just friends in his eyes, then that will be obvious at some point.
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I'm 17/f and I have a sister who's 14.
My parents were divorced about a year ago and my dad moved to Iraq for a year to get a job as a Desktop Analyst for a company where he makes about $10,000 a month. He's moving back after this summer and stuff but my mom and I do NOT get along. We live with her and her boyfriend but it's his house. She makes about $1920 a month with her job before taxes so after taxes, it'd be about $1700-1800. My dad, however, is LEGALLY supposed to be sending my mom ABOUT $2000 a month for child support but is only sending $900, because they had an agreement that as soon as I get a job, he'll buy me a car. However, when my dad comes back when the summer ends, due to all the drama with my mom's boyfriend not liking me, me and my sister are moving with my dad.
But my real question is:
Would it be illegal if until he comes back, if he put the child support in a savings account only for me and my sister to be able to get a hold of?
Because I don't know what my mom does with the money but I know not all of it goes towards us.
She pays for her car, which I very RARELY drive, with the child support and for other things that I don't know about. And when I try and ask her about it, she says it's none of my business. But I'm 17, responsible with money, and sick of being treated like shit and not being able to do anything about it. I would like to support myself rather than relying on my mom to "support" me, if you can even call it that.
If you would please answer this question honestly, I would appreciate it SO much.
Thank you. :D (link)
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Your father can open a savings account at any time and put money in it for you girls, but if you want access to it, your name and your sister's name has to be on the account. So, you'd probably have to wait till he gets back to the states.
As far as child support going to an account for you to access, not likely. Your mother would have to agree to it. Period. Since you live with your mother, the courts don't distinguish what money is spent on you and your sister and what money is spent on your mother or anyone else in the household. As far as they are concerned, you live under the same roof as your mother. Your mother can't leave. She needs a car to do the things she needs to do to raise her children. So you may not feel that you are directly benefiting from the child support money, but you are if you eat the food she buys, get transported in the car she owns, have clothes on your back because she provides them and have a roof over your head because of the house she pays for with that money.
PERHAPS SHE HAS AN ACCOUNT FOR YOU AND YOUR SISTER THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT? COLLEGE FUND?
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When did sex become so bad? I get that teenagers shouldn't just sleep around and pregnancy & STDs are a problem. But why do parents go to great lengths to make their teens feel guilty about wanting and/or having sex? If its so natural and if everyone feels the need at some point, shouldn't it be talked about more openly and embraced in a better manner?
I'm 16, thinking about having sex for the first time, but I keep finding notes from my parents saying, "Absolutely no sex. Wait until your married."
I'm not religious, but I'm not a bad person. (All A's, no drinking or drugs) So why do my parents make me feel awful for even thinking about it?
Ugh. Thanks.
I just want opinions and how other people's parents react. (link)
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Sex is not "bad", but it does carry with it an enormous responsibility. There are the risks of pregnancy and disease and social stigma. Because of the social stigma that is attached to carefree sex, there is a guarantee that there will be gossip about the girl who says "yes", and it won't be positive. Back in the day, people in general had higher standards. Women cared a great deal about their reputations. They didn't want to be viewed as 'easy'. Once that happens, I don't care who tells you otherwise, people will look down on you.
Reputation aside, if you start having sex now, at such an early age, believe me, you will have many, many partners by the time your ready to get married. By that time, what will you think of yourself for taking the most intimate part of you and just spreading it around town?
Your parents make you feel awful for thinking about it simply because they don't want you to venture into such relationships until you are married, I'm sure. I can't blame them. The sex act should be reserved for the man that comes into your life and makes a lifelong commitment to you. The end result is children, who you will, in turn, make feel awful for even thinking about it.
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how to get rid of a hickey (link)
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Take oil (grapeseed is best) and massage the area a few times a day. Will also work on bruises.
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I told my guy friend from school, who i like, that i liked him today in one of our classes, which was really hard for me to do. He sits behind me but I decided to just text him during class. I told him I had to tell him something but i didn't want him to be weirded out and he sortof seemed confused. So I told him, and said that it was hard for me to say and that i understand if he doesnt feel the same way and that I hope we could still be friends in that case and that I'm sorry if I freak him out. He didn't answer. The bell rang, and since it was double period science we had the break and usually he stays but this time he totally dashed out the door to go talk to our other friend, but i don't think he told her about it. When he came back I was on the phone with my cousin and he was obviously trying to avoid me by being all buddy buddy with his other friend that sits behind him. When we went to get lab books, he passed by me as fast as he could. We're in different lab groups, but he came near my lab table at one point for supplies and whatever and didn't acknowledge me. I did happen to notice him looking my way through this glass cabinet a couple times when he was at his lab table on the other side of the room, and clearly I was upset and pissed that he didn't say anything and he still hasn't said anything. I don't regret telling him but I feel like an idiot now and I'm upset. Does him ignoring me and avoiding me like that mean he wants to have nothing to do with me or does it mean I just took him off guard and he just needs time to respond to me? Should I say something to him at some point this weekend or wait until monday? I'm really upset, I really don't want to ruin our friendship =[ (link)
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That move was too forward.
Judging from his response, he either, doesn't feel the same way or he was totally caught off guard and is embarrassed. Unfortunately, he may feel his back is against the wall and the only way of avoiding a bf/gf relationship with you is to stay away from you. That's bad news for the friendship. If he's just embarrassed, he will get over it and, if he feels the same, he will approach you at some point.
This may blow over after he gets past the awkwardness or it may not. It can go either way, but dropping a bomb like that will definitely take someone aback. I wouldn't take it any further. Let him make the next move.
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Hey guys,
Honestly, you think you know everything there is to know about knitting and then you get a pattern that say:
Knit 1, Knit Up 1 ?????
I have never heard of Knit Up 1 - can someone please help me out here, i am trying to knit a leaf lace pattern, which is really beautiful and i'm quite dissappointed that if i don't find out what a Knit Up 1 stitch is then i'll never get it right.
I am guessing that it's kinda the same as Make 1 or something???
Anyway, i would really appreciate any advice on this subject - THANKS!!!
Louise
(link)
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Pick up and knit the stitch in the Row below.
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We have all been to the movies or to a ballgame or just an event. Most of the time, to get to our seat we have to walk past people that are already sitting. Is it more polite to walk so we face away or face towards them as we do so. One way our butt is in their face but the other our crotch is. I was just curious what people think. (link)
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!!! Funny!! I've thought about that, myself.
I think it's better to face your butt toward someone than your privates! Also, when you face someone you don't know, close up and head on, you are invading their space. I think your butt facing them is less invasive, which is why people automatically turn their butts toward people in that situation.
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ok...
so i've been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now. he's been great, up until about two weeks ago when he got drunk and cheated on me. i broke up with him, but we got back together a week later because he promised he would do anything to have me back. Now, I believe that he's sorry, but it was kind of a relief to not be with him. don't get me wrong, i love him. he's awesome.
but i have a big problem.
my ex, who i dated for two years, has been calling me. he has wanted me back since we broke up in August. basically since i got with my current bf. i love talking to him... but he will call or text one day, and then i won't hear from him for a week or so...and so then i kind of start to heal the pain a bit and appreciate my boyfriend and think i'm over my ex, and he will call again, completely re-opening the wound.
when i'm talking to my ex consistently, my boyfriend kind of fades out of my mind. but then when my ex stops calling for a week, my attention is back on my boyfriend. I've never cheated on my boyfriend and never would, but i know i still have strong feelings for my ex... but is it just because he was my first love and i should get over him? or is there something more there?
my bf treats me right (except for the whole cheating thing...) but my ex is soo tempting. i think maybe i should decide who hurt me more... my ex broke up with me because he was dealing with his dad being on drugs and he couldnt tell me about it because he thought i would tell someone... so i understand why he left. and maybe i rushed into things with my current bf too soon after my ex and i broke up. but i think my bf hurt me worse by cheating on me. idk. any advice would be greatly appreciated =)
sorry it was so long.
btw, i'm 17, my bf is 21, and my ex is 18. (link)
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You could tell both of them you want to play the field. Why commit to either of them?
You have your ex who broke up with you. Who cares why he did, he did. Then you have a bf who cheated on you. Again, who cares why he cheated...he cheated.
You weren't the one who broke up and you weren't the one who cheated, so you stand on the moral high ground, as far as I'm concerned.
If you are determined to see either or both of these guys, then tell them you are going to play the field and it's none of their business who else you see. Don't name names!
The other option is to not see either of them and take time to get your own head on straight. Maybe after a month you'll decide neither of these guys will do.
Sometimes we have a better time hanging out with our gf's.
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i have this problem where i'll get bad gas pains in my stomach and a part of my intestine in my lower left side swells up(you can feel it) and it hurts and it seems like when the food gets to that point and when it swells up i get the gas pains and i have to run to the bathroom...and the last 2 days i've had a pain in there ( i thought it was the appendix but thats on the right) but i went to the doctor and they dont really understand it..but is it possible there is something wrong with the piece of intestine? (its the same exact spot and lenght that swells up everytime) so i thought maybe something could be wrong with it or a piece of it is no good or something?
...sry its kinda digusting.
im a male btw (link)
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Sounds like diverticulitis. It's a bulge in a weak spot in the intestine. It can cause all the symptoms you have.
You shouldn't eat nuts as they can get caught in the bulge. Basically, for diverticulitis, you need to eat lots of fiber.
I'm surprised that the doctor didn't mention that. It also sound like it could be a hernia. I would get a second opinion, fast!
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In our biology class we're studying crayfish and their environments. I fell in love with my little guy and would love to bring him home. Since spring break is approaching and we're almost done with our section, I thought I'd ask if I could take mine home. When I asked my teacher said that there were laws that probhibited students from taking classroom-use animals out of the classroom. This is strange because I've taken home hermit crabs, anoles, and lots of other animals. When I asked what he was going to do with the crayfish he replied, "What do you think I'm going to do? I'm going to eat them." I've looked all over the internet to find laws and rulings on this subject, but can't seem to find any! Please help me look! Or, if you know of anyone or if you yourself has experience in this area please reply! I NEED to save my little friend from boiling water and butter. We both appreciate any advice that comes this way. (link)
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Grab him, run and don't look back! If they come for you tell them, "You'll never take me alive!".
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So ealier I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, (not my first time, ours like in our relationship) ...
We were kissing and he pulled it out and was trying to put it in and I realize, there's no condom! I ask "Do u have a condom on?" He said "No, i'll get it in a minute. I don't want to get up." A MINUTE?! YOU DON'T want to get up?! So I made him stop and go "find" one because he didn't know where one was! Can you please tell me what could have been going through his head? I'm pretty sure I should take this as a red flag! How should I confront him about it? I'm so disappointed in him because I THOUGHT we were great for each other! (link)
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Well...in the heat of the moment, there was only one thing going through his head, literally and figuratively.
Men don't do alot of thinking in a situation like that. It's just their nature. I wouldn't make more of it than that, but, emphasize to him that you cannot risk getting pregnant and that the next time you have sex, he must have a condom ready or there will be no sex. Don't do it in the heat of the moment as he will not be thinking straight.
How to confront him...just talk to him. It's really not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. I'm sure he will even agree with you.
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It may be a very simple thing to do I have not been able to fix it. Lately my e-mail shows my mail sending & receiving time 4 hours ahead og computer time. My computer time is sinchronized with internet time and it show correct local time. But when I send a mail or receive a mail sending & receiving time is 4 hours more than local time. On the same compu my son's e-mail time is shown same as local time which is correct (link)
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Sign into your Hotmail acct.
Upper right of screen click on "options" link.
Click "more options".
Click "view and edit your personal information".
Click "Registered information".
Select your time zone.
SAVE
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hey
16 f
i really want to learn how to play guitysr. but i dont know how to read or play the notes. can anyone explain it to me please. heres an example.
F#: 2nd fret E bar chord.
G#: 4th fret E bar chord.
C#: 4th fret A bar chord
Bbm: 1st fret bar chord (except the low E)
Am.
Intro: F#, G#, F#, G#
F#___________G#__________F#
Please, don't flatter yourself
______G#__________F#
You're not the only one
_______G#________F#_____G#
This heart has ever felt
F#_______G#________F#
Please, don't exaggerate
_____G#________F#, F#, F#
Don't tell me you're okay, okay, okay..
Bbm___________C#
I will admit, if you admit it
F#
It's harder than we both thought
Bbm___________________C#
It's easier to fall apart
F#
Look where we are (look where we are, look where we are)
Bbm_______________C#
I can forgive it, I can't forget it
_____F#
You left me here with all these scars
_________Bbm____________________C#
and you can't deny the hardest part
I'm not in your arms
F#, G#, F#, G#
F#___________G#__________F#
We're more hurt than we appear
______G#__________F#
The world will never know
_______G#________F#_____G#
We both have tasted tears, my dear
F#_______G#________F#
You're denying what I say
_____G#________F#, F#, F#
Don't act like it's okay
F#, F#, F#, F#
Cuz it's not okay
thanks bunches! i really appreciate it
!! thankyou!! (link)
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The song you've chosen is way beyond your ability, as a beginner. You need to learn the basic chords before you tackle that. Believe it or not, if your learn the basics, you'll be able to play TONS more songs than if you only learn those chords in the above song!
Here is a website that you can learn the basics.
http://play-electric-guitar.net/beginner-guitar-chords.html (It applies to acoustic guitars as well)
Practice one or two chords at a time and practice moving between chords. Gain some speed before moving onto a third. There are alot of websites that can give you the finger positions for every chord in existence, but you need the basics before you tackle the more complicated chords.
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Is there anything to do about excessive sweating? I'm a girl, and i play sports, and i always sweat SO much, like way more than everyone else. It's really gross...is there anything I can do to help? (link)
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Did you always have this problem or has it started recently? Does it only occur when you are exerting yourself or do you sweat when you at rest?
You need to know the answers to these questions.
Here's a link that will answer your questions...
https://ssl.search.live.com/health/article.aspx?id=articles%2fmc%2fpages%2f3%2fDS01082.html&q=Excessive+Sweating
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18 female
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, nearly 10 and we havnt had sex!
we have stayed over night with each other and went through all the steps but when we get to the stage of actually having sex he pulls away!
I know he isnt a virgin because I know a girl he has slept with! is it me? (link)
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Hmmm. 9 months is a decent amount of time for a relationship. He won't go all the way? Have you asked him why? I would ask him outright.
How do you know he actually did have sexual intercourse with this other girl? Did she tell you or did he?
At this point, you just have to confront him with that question.
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Ok im an 18 year old male. I recently met this 22 year old girl, she is turning 23 in like july or something. Im pretty sure she is into me. My question is, is she too old for me to date? (link)
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She's not too old for you to date, but she does have 4 years on you and would be approaching that time in her life where marriage and children will be entering her mind.
Just keep that in the back of yours.
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