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choosing between my boyfriend and my ex
ok...
so i've been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now. he's been great, up until about two weeks ago when he got drunk and cheated on me. i broke up with him, but we got back together a week later because he promised he would do anything to have me back. Now, I believe that he's sorry, but it was kind of a relief to not be with him. don't get me wrong, i love him. he's awesome.
but i have a big problem.
my ex, who i dated for two years, has been calling me. he has wanted me back since we broke up in August. basically since i got with my current bf. i love talking to him... but he will call or text one day, and then i won't hear from him for a week or so...and so then i kind of start to heal the pain a bit and appreciate my boyfriend and think i'm over my ex, and he will call again, completely re-opening the wound.
when i'm talking to my ex consistently, my boyfriend kind of fades out of my mind. but then when my ex stops calling for a week, my attention is back on my boyfriend. I've never cheated on my boyfriend and never would, but i know i still have strong feelings for my ex... but is it just because he was my first love and i should get over him? or is there something more there?
my bf treats me right (except for the whole cheating thing...) but my ex is soo tempting. i think maybe i should decide who hurt me more... my ex broke up with me because he was dealing with his dad being on drugs and he couldnt tell me about it because he thought i would tell someone... so i understand why he left. and maybe i rushed into things with my current bf too soon after my ex and i broke up. but i think my bf hurt me worse by cheating on me. idk. any advice would be greatly appreciated =)
sorry it was so long.
btw, i'm 17, my bf is 21, and my ex is 18.
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First off you sounds a little young I hope your not missing out on what 17 year old girls are supposed too do in the middle of all this. But anyway sounds like you love both very much. But I would think your current boyfriend doesn't deserve you because he cheated on you. He must not care to much for you or your feelings. People get drunk all the time doesn't mean they go off and cheat. Also your ex is closer to your age so that may also be better for you. He may be able to meet your needs a little more accuratly that what your current can. In the end you can't make everyone happy your going to hurt someone in the end. It's up to you to decide which you couldn't go day to day without talking to.
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Humble suggestion: You aren't really in a good head space to be in any realationship at all.
You aren't really committed to either of these guys, and picking one on the basis of who hurt you more... well, just think about that for a moment: You are thinking you should pick a boyfriend based on the guy who hurt you less then the other. You really could have much higher standards for the people you spend time with.
I can't give you much percise advice here. Neither of these guys are total scum, but they aren't the pick of the litter either. Maybe you did jump into a new relationship too fast, or maybe you didn't. But if you aren't truly exicted and committed to the idea of being with either of these guys, you'd probably be best on your own.
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Okay
It sounds like that you might still love your current boyfriend but you also might be fed up and the fact that he cheated really got you (Which I don't blame you at all) Your exboyfriend is calling you because he wants you back and you feel he might be a fallback although you have strong feelings for him.
Honestly, You said it was a relief that you and your current boyfriend broke up, Personally I wouldn't take anyone back who cheated on me whether they were drunk or not because action is action and he should of been responsible and there really is no excuse for it at all and you have every right to be mad about it.
I think you might be questioning yourself about your current relationship, If it were me I would call it off because they all say once a guy cheats (whether he was drunk or not) he still cheated and he can always do it again exspecially if he knows he got away with it the first time. The ex boyfriend you mention that he slips your mind which clearly indicates that you are not in love with your exboyfriend which I think it would be pointless to start over again if you are not in love with him but personally I think that if it didn't work the first time than it most certainly won't work the second time. Go with your gut feeling do what you think is right for you. I would clear out on the guys and take a fresh start.
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You could tell both of them you want to play the field. Why commit to either of them?
You have your ex who broke up with you. Who cares why he did, he did. Then you have a bf who cheated on you. Again, who cares why he cheated...he cheated.
You weren't the one who broke up and you weren't the one who cheated, so you stand on the moral high ground, as far as I'm concerned.
If you are determined to see either or both of these guys, then tell them you are going to play the field and it's none of their business who else you see. Don't name names!
The other option is to not see either of them and take time to get your own head on straight. Maybe after a month you'll decide neither of these guys will do.
Sometimes we have a better time hanging out with our gf's.
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ok so i can see you're super conflicted. obviously your heart is still with your ex but also with your boyfriend. the only problem is your ex doesn't seem way too up to the commitment since he's on and off. so that could be something bad to get into to because he may end up hurting you. but since you felt a relief when not with your boyfriend maybe you should just break things off since you are having feelings for another guy. that way you can just be single and find out where your heart really is and who is more worth it to be with.
hope i helped :]
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