MissBonne's advice column

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Q: i really like this girl and i think she kinda likes me back but i'm too scared to ask what should i do???

If you're afraid to ask her out, then you shouldn't be dating her in the first place.

What should you do?
(a) Ask her out, take the chance. She might say no, she might say yes.
(b) Don't ask her out.

Based on the scenario, you have a 1 / 3 change of her saying yes. Go for it.

Q: I'm 16 and a mother of a little baby. I think he may be teething. What do you think is the best way to relieve the pain? Besides like teething rings.

Orajel works wonders, but an 'old time' thing, a piece of leather that he can chew on will cut those teeth faster.

Q: "Why is being popular better than being intelligent?"

I blame TV. It seems like a good excuse, you can get on TV with being popular but not by being intelligent.

Oh, then you get the popular people who are intelligent - and no one knows what to do with them.

And what about the people who could be popular but choose to be intelligent? Do they have some other motive?

Its the quiet ones you need to be aware of - they're always planning.

Q: Hey, I'm 14 years old, a freshman in highschool. So there's this boy i really really like, we just met this year and are firends. I can't tell if he likes me back though. Sometimes he talks to me, sometimes i tlak to him, and now we've been walking to classes with one another ( he's in four of my classes, three of them are right after eachother)

I've caught him looking at me a few times, and he's caught me looking at him a few times. We joke around modestly, as he's pretty quiet. But he seems to like talking with me...he usually will make a comment to me if we're near eachother and spark up conversation. I try to stay back and walk with him, and sometimes he appears to walk with me by his own choice. But the thing is, if i try to talk to him online , he just doesnt seem interested. I'll get so far as to ask "whats up" and he wont reply. But he will reply to questions relating to school work etc. Does he like me? thanks for your help

Well, if he didn't like you - he wouldn't be talking to you, he wouldn't 'lag' behind so you'd walk with him and he most def wouldn't be looking at you.

Yes, he likes you. But it sounds like he's shy, quiet, cautious about getting to know you better.

Keep doing what you're doing and try asking other questions other than 'what's up' - even I generally don't answer that question.

Questions like the homework assignment, the school activites, family, friends - etc. The more he talks with you, the more comfortable he'll be - the more comfortable he'll be, the more something will happen.

Q: so .. me and 2 of my friends need ideas for Halloween costumes. We want them to be original .. but all relate. like .. ex: charlie`s angels .. but someone is already doing that. Please help .. thank you ♥

Courteney Cox-Arquette & Jennifer Aniston
Aly & AJ
Hilary/Halie
Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow

more: http://handbag.com/galleries/gallery/gossip/celebrity_lives/rels_celebfriends/MemberID=11/

Q: I've had 3 jobs in my life. One at a restaurant, one at a library, and one at Old Navy. They all were busy places to work. At each of them, I was always the "slow" person. I can't ever get tasks done in a timely manner. It takes me longer than everyone else. I don't understand it. It's not that I'm lazy. I get really good grades, too..Maybe I'm a perfectionist?

Why am I like this and how can I change?

You may not be the best at customer service oriented job positions. Try something else, a lifeguard, babysitting/daycare, gardner, teacher, etc - something that requires movement and more interaction.

Q: Ok, yes, it is almost halloween and I have no ides where to get a costume or what to be. I'm a female, pls help!

Quite honestly, to make a memorable impression and leave an air of mystery - do a REAL costume, not from the local retail store. A bear, a rabbit - something that people will ask 'who is that?' and make it a little different.

Last year, I did this - and went as Cat, complete with hot and heavy cosutome with the big cat head over my head. A lot of people came up to me to talk and ask who I was - even scored some numbers too.

However, generally those costumes aren't cool. If you want cool, then do a sexy _____ (waitress, cat, devil) etc.

Q: Is there any food from the McDonalds menu that is SLIGHTLY HEALTHY: such as a salad, that comes with the monopoly stickers?

I know that mcDonalds is just very unhealthy overall, but what are the healthiest things on the menu (that come with the stickers?

I just want the stickers, and if you just want the stickers then:

Grab some stamps
Grab some envelopes
and goto mcdonalds.com, look for the rules and guidelines and it'll give you the address.

Q: 14/f.

please readd. i need your help.

My friend, she has a cheerleading competition, on the same day as my halloween party. its like huge like 60 kids. & everything. I can't reschedule it, because its the only day they could do it.

Its our last year at the same school together, so its not like there will be another halloween party.

Anyways, I'm really mad.. that she'd rather go to some stupid cheerleading competition then be at my halloween party with me. is that being selfish? I mean there will be other cheerleading competitions. Right? Wouldnt you be mad, if that happened to you?

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, just wish her luck.

She did not set the schedule for the competition, so its not her fault its on the same day at the party.

Next, you need to be commited to sports and she just can't bail.

Plus, if you're just friends because you goto the same school, then maybe you're not really friends. It shouldn't matter that this is the last year together.

Q: I love to dance!!!!is the best thing ever but im not really good at it!.I was taking some dance classes but they were really hard to I quit!what can I do to learn how to dance?I was thinking of getting a dance privated teacher!

They were really hard, so you quit - instead of sticking it out and actually learning it? The longer you attend classes, the more you know.

Try another dance class with another instructor.

Q: Okay, well on my parents 20th anniversary, I want to cook them a really awesome meal. I'm 14 by the way. Can any of you guys give me simple easy recipes that are still delicious and beautiful looking & it fits into the whole anniversary thing? And if you guys are going to give me recipies, could you state what meal it is for (breakfast, lunch, dinner)

And what are some other special things I can do for them?

MSN has a great website for recipes: http://lifestyle.msn.com/FoodandEntertaining/QuickandEasyMeals/default.aspx

as for the extra special things you can do, once the meal has been place - spend the night over family or friends.

They would really appreciate the house to themselves, I bet.

Q: I'm 15, 5'1 and I weigh 85 pounds.

No, I never had an eating disorder.

I really want to gain 15 pounds.. Because I can't fit in a size 0 or 1 in jeans. I would like my hipbones not to stick out.. or my shoulder blades..

I want some fat on me. But I dont know what foods to eat. I know fatty foods, but list some meals. I'm going to do a milkshake a day. Or close to every day. (Is that healthty?)

I have a very high metabolism.. I heard, you should eat at night or before bed because you won't burn off the fat or something ?

If people think losing weight is hard.. gaining weight is even harder.

I've been struggling with it for 2 years.

Same boat, 5' 4" and 95 lbs. Used to be around 80 lbs, but I worked on that.

Yes, I agree - you should see a doctor but not your regular one, choose a one who deals with nutrition.

But for now, maintain your current eating/work out schedule and keep track of your calories (look at http://www.toneteen.com) and calories (look on the back of the food packaging)

Generally, people with a regular metabolism burn about 2000 calories to maintain weight. In your case, you may not be eating that much (which results in a lower weight) or burning to many calories (which case, you neet to focus on foods with a lot of carbs)

With working out, only do cardio (running, swimming etc) about twice a week - no more than 20 minutes. Again, losing calories = losing weight. Instead focus on weight training.

Do check about a nutrition doctor, they can help devise a healthy lifestyle for gaining weight.

Q: In class yesterday I was sitting next to a girl who I don't really know, and she rolled her sleeve up and I saw she had cuts all up her arm, and that some of them were bleeding. She didn't know that I saw. Now I don't know this girl at all, but I do know one of her flatmates a bit. Should I speak to her flatmate and see if she knows this girl is cutting herself? Cos I think her flatmate could help her much more than I could.
Thanks!

When it comes to safety and health, its always better safe than sorry. I would goto a teacher, a counsler etc to let them know what you say - if you're school as an hotline where you can leave a message w/o leaving a name - that would work too.

Q: Okayyy. I quit my job that I only had for about a week, because I was completely miserable there. And once I told everyone they tell me that I'm lazy, and that I'll never make it in the real world. and the thing is, I'm not lazy at all, I work my ass off. How can I get this people to leave me alone, and convince them that I really quit that job because I was miserable and unhappy?

You're both right. You're not lazy but you can't do that in the real world. In the real world, you can't quit a job before starting a new one.

Just tell them that you're young and want to experince different work environments.

Q: For my Sweet Sixteen, i wanted to have my party on a boat and sail around Manhatten or something like that. My birthday is in January, so it would have to be like an indoor boat. Does anyone know a good place that would offer this????

Thanks in Advanced.

Here a few links for you: http://www.americanprincesscruises.com/
http://www.ladysheryll.com/parties.html
http://www.manhattanyachtcharters.com/

Q: there is this girl i know who makes her pictures look flawless perfect face and she really enchances herself without enhancing the rest of the piture does anyone know how she does it

xoxo
thanks so much

There software is here: www.adobe.com/products/photoshop/

and tutorials are:
http://graphicssoft.about.com/od/photoshoptutorialsretouch/

Q: i babysat my downstairs neighbor after school one day only for about an hour and i got $10 well two days ago i babysat from 10am-6pm ;; reminding you im a teen and the parents know i sleep in so it was hard to wake up.. when i babysat i only got $25 and i babysat her for an extra hour & i brought her to the store to buy a pumpkin to carve.. well today i babysat her from 10am-3pm and i still only got $25 again i walked to the store with her and bought $10 worth of crafts (after returning $20 worth of othershit that my mom made us bring back) i dont think i am getting paid enough should i tell the parents? or should i just not say anything and get paid shit.. the parents also know that i babysat my other neighbor and got paid $50 for 6pm to 12am

You need to let them know what your rate is per hour, they may not know. Also, you are using that money for crafts to keep the kids busy (awesome idea!), they need to pay you more because you engage their kids in fun activities.

Q: I have bean accepted to join the Royal Marines in July 2007 but i am not sure if i sould go, i fell in love with an amazing girl and i dont know if i can leave her. she always cries whenever i bring up the subject and she is begging me not to go. I have wanted to join for my entire life but now i am not so sure because i am scared she will not be there for me when i come back.
Please help give me your opinions.

Go, go and go. The Marine are a great way to experience the world, serve the country and launch a career.

You can't experience the world, serve the country and launch a career with a girlfriend.

If you're scared because she will not be there for you, then you are more than likely already sensing she isn't really going to wait for you.

If she does, the relationship will be stronger. If not, they she can't appreciate your goals and respect and support you.

Q: Ok, well I've already posted a question for help with my family, and recently some more has happened. My mom thinks i'm dating 2 guys at once, and she read my Diary again. This time, we were moving things from one house to another. So, she asked me to ride with her to unload the stuff. I of course said I would help, but once we got into the truck, she asked me if I was still with my Boyfriend. Whenever I replied that yes, Yes I was, she exploded and told me that I don't apreciate her, and that I have no remorse over the fact that she has cancer. I tried to tell her that they won't take her whole breast, and she told me I was too young to know anything. So, when she read my Diary, it basicly said that the moment I get a good job, and get into College, i'm getting a dorm, and i'm out of the house for good because my dad won't do anything about the way she talks, and treats me. She got defensive again, and asked me why I wanted to hurt her so bad. I said,"Mom, I never asked you to seek out my diary, and read it. It's your own fault for not liking what I have to say, but i'm not going to keep things from the one place I have that should be private." and she got mad at me, and punched me. I couldn't believe it! She's threatened to hit me before, and whenever I was about 4-5 she used to pull my hair and shove me whenever I made her angry, but I never in my wildest dreams that she would ever hit me! I threatened to call CPS, but I didn't because I don't want to leave. I have too much here, and if I call they'll take me away, not her. And she's told my whole family that i'm lying about her all the time. She told an older lady who I respect so much that i'm a horrible child, that i'm a dirty whore, and i'm selfish. The truth is, yes I am VERY selfish, and no i'm not the perfect child, but i'm NOT with 2 different people, i've NEVER been sexually active, and i've made it clear to every guy to ever put a move on me that I have a boyfriend, and I won't tolerate any unfaithfulness! But, whenever we got to this lady's house, the woman who I respect deeply, she basicaly told me that i'm blowing it way out of proportion, and that I probably deserved it...And she tells me that I provoked it by backtalking my mother...I've tried to look up teen privacy rights online, and child abuse to figure out if maybe i'm just having a hard time dealing with what's coming to me, or if this is truely something I should be worried about.

Also, my parents are getting a divorce, and my mom says it's because of me. It's my fault because I try to lock her out of my life, and the only person I talk to is my dad. She asks why I locked her out, but the truth isn't good enough for her. I lock her out because anytime I let her in more drama happens and we wind up hurting each other. Anytime I try to talk to her it's always,"Break up with Logan, he's a bad bad kid. He'll influence you wrong. It's his fault we're fighting, and his fault you locked me out."

Logan has his own set of issues right now. And like everyone else God made, he's not perfect. But I think he's turned out quite fine considering his past. To go into detail, his dad murdered his mom, and the people he's living with now beat him. o.O So I don't exactly blame him for not being a part of a Beaver Cleaver atmosphere. I've always been told that there is always someone for everyone. Well, if every girl would dump him because of his past, and his current issues, he wouldn't have someone for him. We've been together for over a year now, and he's never done anything wrong to me! He's never hurt me, anytime he upsets me he apologizes, and he truely wants the best for me...

Aye, well, this is long, but basicaly, I need to know if I need to change, or my mom does. We used to get along, but everytime we talk now she threatens me, cries, and tells me she hates me. Am I just an immature teen not realizing that my mom just wants the best for me, or is she immature and doesn't want me to be with Logan because she thought me and him were having sex?

Mom and daughters in most cases can't be friends. I actually know where you are coming from, except my mom was divorcing my stepdad.

Your diary reflects emotions at a particular moment in time and yes, it is private. You mom does not have the right to read it or discuss it with you.

You mom needs to change. You're not doing anything wrong, you don't insult her, you don't hit her and yet, she continues to abuse you.

You lock her out to protect yourself. Locking her out, when she hurts you or calls you name, its almost like you're not paying attention and doesn't affect you more negatively if you dished it right back at her.

More than likely it will get worse. You mentioned you have to move there, but experiencing that everything wears you down. You need an escape route:

http://www.info4parents.com/index.html (look on the left, choose your state and find a phone number)

You mentioned your dad is unresponsive/does nothing. Your next step is to tell a trusted teacher or the guidance counsler. Divorce is rough and you need someone to talk to - also, during the process - you may be able to talk to a judge. They can either apply custody to your dad or mandate your mom to take parenting classes or anger management classes.

On my end, my mom moved out last summer. I'm still living with my stepdad. The courts had her take a pyschological exam and it turns out - she's not crazy, just mean. I only keep communication via email/mail so I don't have to listen to her rants and raves.

Good Luck!

Q: Ok, this is a really random question but I was just thinking about a scenario today:
Lets say that I made out with a guy who had herpes and I didnt know it because he had no sores or whatever...that means I would get it too right? and how long would it take for me to have sores on my mouth, or how could I tell if I had herpes after making out with some guy I dont really know?

Gurlpages.com has solid information when it comes to the things you might be curious about...

http://www.gurl.com/findout/dwi/pages/0,,624755,00.html