Ask shake!

Advice Column | Ask a Question | View Feedback | http://www.xanga.com/rantsuck

About shake



*WARNING*
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have better things to do? Is your life so emtpy that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with the authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want?Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masterbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...

"Contrary to what your mothers and teachers tell you, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap."





Ask Me For Advice
View Feedback
Make Favorite Columnist

Website: http://www.xanga.com/rantsuck
E-mail: pimpstickagostop@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Location: No one cares
Occupation: Journalist
Age: 22
AIM: shootthefat1
Member Since: February 10, 2005
Answers: 2248
Last Update: December 24, 2005
Visitors: 28679


Favorite Columnists
hitler_the_goat
poa
naimee
savorystillborns

Advicenators.com



My computer has been screwing up for the past few months. The sound is fine when I first turn it on, but after thirty minutes of so of listening to music, the sound goes away. What's up with that? Does it happen to anybody else? And also: when I have miniture pop-ups and I exit them, ALL the I.E. windows close. Can anyone identify what's wrong with my computer? It's not old, I just bought it last year, if it matters.

Yes. You looked up too much porn and you now have a virus. Get norton. I recommend them. Also, download spy bot and adaware. Both free and very good progs for removing stuff that screws up your comp.

[view]


i have asthma and i wanna start smoking cigarettes *kinda depressed* but yah.. i don't wanna die from it lol.. but you'd think i'd be getting used to it bc my sister smokes everyday on the way to and from school.. soo ya.. would it be that big of a harm to me? if ur gonna lecture on how bad smoking is.. then dont answer

Holy shit, what do we have here... a fucking idiot. I hope you start on the cancer sticks so your asthma can get screwed over by the smoke hopefully rid you of this world. "i wanna start smoking cigarettes *kinda depressed* but yah.. i don't wanna die from it lol" "lol" there is nothing funny about death idiot. Except for when you die from smoking. Ill be laughing. You wont hear me though. Also, many people die every year from cancer sticks. Do your research. THen again you're a fucking retard who probably doesnt know how to google anything.

You're not wanted on this advice site. Go smoke now.

[view]


Ok i went out with this boii lets call him Mike fer about a year on and off...and at one time i loved him soOOoooo much he was the love of my life....but like things went down hill i cheated on him but we remained relle tight as friends...best friends actuallie....and then he asked me back out and i was like ok...i broke up with him a week later cuz i knew it wasnt workin...but while we went out i talked to his friend hooked him up with my best friend...and he liked her alot...then she broke up wit him...he was upset i think he is alomst over her...but i think i like him but i dont wanna hurt my ex but i like him alot should i tell him how i feel....iym afraid to see how he reacts...thanks XxOxX -Boy Problemz

IM afraid i cant understand one word you actally typed. Jargon. Its all jargon. I suggest going to a good grammar school. Oh and learning how to spell. Freaking mental sped.

[view]


um.. ok i go to a catholic school and i'm going through rough times. i know many of my friends who've cut themselves well i was doing my s.studies project and i was using sharp scissors and i was questioning myself if it would go through my skin b/c the last time i had i tried to cut myself it didnt work.. well this time it did. so know i have 3 cuts on my arm, i seriously regret doing it, i showed my mawmaw and im never doing it again BUT i have a passion play tommorow and i'm afraid that my religion teacher will see it.. should i be afraid or is there any tips to hide it b/c a big band-aid will be noticable. thanks for the help
13/f

Well i recommend going back and cutting yourself for being retarded.

[view]


I've known this guy since like 2nd grade. He and I have been boyfriend and girlfriend off and on for about 2 years. He and i usually hook up most during the summer and not much during the school year. My friends say that we sould either stay friends or boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't really know which one i should choose. i really like him saome days and don't really talk to him others. should we be boyfriend and girlfriend or stayt friends? thanx

I think both of you should be retards. Dont even talk to each other. Its not a healthy relationship.

[view]


okay, so i have this friend, and she cuts herself. it really scares me, because one time she cut so deep that it wouldnt stop for a while. her dad abuses her, and she doesnt get along with her mom very well. her boyfriend went away for spring break and she misses him a lot. she cut herself again because she thinks her life is so fucked up, and she thinks she should die. i really want to help her, but i dont know what to do. please help!!!

Bring her a knife or gun. Then say. "Choose."


BTW the guns faster.

[view]


Hey Shake! I was reading your column and I have to say I love it! You remind me of Simon Powell, but better, cause I don't like that show. But anyway, my question 2 u, since u like technology questions, is:Is Mozzila Internet Browser good or bad? My aunt says it is a traderand actual is worse than Internet Explorer, but my soon to be brother-in-law says his professor swears by it and he has it and loves it. So, do you kow anything about it, Shake?

Mozilla is what im running on right now. Mozilla is a great web browser. Not only is it resistant to some of the spyware and adware commonly brought to you by IE(internet exploerer). But it appears to be just a tad bit faster. Maybe i have a bias for firefox now and by saying its faster thats showing. But i would really recommend it. Especially in the days computer hijackings and what not.

"You remind me of Simon Powell, but better, cause I don't like that show."

That quote had me laughing for quite some time. Feel free to ask me more questions. On here or by
AIM shootthefat1
Email pimpstickagostop@yahoo.com

[view]


okay there is this guy i like but he is in 11th grade and im in 9th and he sits at my lunch table n all of a sudden like a few months ago he just stated to sit next to me and stuff and flirt kinda and ive had ppl at my table come up 2 me and say i think you 2 should go out. But hes also a big partier if u kno what i mean n ive heard stories about him that arnt too good like hes always partying n stuff like that. And i know that he used to smoke but he swears he hasnt for like 6 months and says that he is quitting so thats good i guess... right? but he rly is a nice kid dont get me wrong there and plus hes madd funny. and i had a friend ask him who he liked and he said no1 at our lunch table right now but possibly in the future. And im rly confused... should i like this kid?

Hes a really nice kid? Alright hes nice. Hes also MAD STUPID. Doing drugs makes you retarded.
1. You have to be retarded to try them
2. It only makes your retardation worse because of the excessive drug intake
3. He will ruin your life, drag you into drugs, and piss you off

and
4. If hes not doin drugs why did he says "hes quitting" it means hes still doing them. Hes only giving you half the truth. Probably not even that. Hes still most likely doing them.

[view]


well i decided to have a sleep-over but i dont know what i should do or what movies i sohlud rent.. pleez help me out here. if u say truth or dare please give examples.

How bout. Ask your friends? You know the people acutally coming over? Maybe not, thats why your asking the people who dont care what you rent. Go rent this movie

Dong of the dead- thats a real movie by the way. Its also called a porno. Or XXX movie. You will have to go a bit into the dumps part of town to actually find one of those stores. But it will be well worth your time. Enjoy.

[view]


I feel like the worst person in the world. On March 17 me and my boyfriend of 3 years got into a huuuge fight because he cheated on me. Our relationship was sooo good and we always got told that we were the role model for couples, well anyways..we got into a huge fight and we said things that we didnt mean and I told him that I wish he wasnt in my life and he would just die because I hated him so much, those were my exact words. Later that night at 11:26 I got a phone call from his sister (we were really close, she was like a little sister to me) she was crying really hard and she told me that she had found him in his room laying on the floor, dead. I didnt even know what to do with myself. He had taken a gun to his head. She read me a note that he left and it said "I'm so sorry, I love you so much" thats all it said, and he had the date that we started going out until forever carved into his arm. That night when my parents found out they tried to comfort me and all that but I just didnt want to be around anyone. I went to my room and I cut myself so bad and my mom walked in and stopped me and just held me and I cried for hours, with my wrists bleeding, and I fell asleep crying in my moms arms. I'm getting help now. I went to his funeral and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, I fell to the floor when I went up to his casket at the wake and his mom had to pick me up and just hold me while we cried. I go to his house all the time and talk to his family and just tell them how sorry I am and we talk about all of our memories. I havent slept since the night it happened, and I havent been to school, the doctors say I probably wont go to school for about another month, I might be homeschooled. I can't even look at myself anymore. I can't beleive those hateful words were the last words I ever got to tell the love of my life. I'm sorry it is really long but does anyone have any advice on how to help me get through this?

Well. Your boyfriend is weak. If you kill yourself over a fight... well. You're pathetic. Why cry over a idiot who shot himself in the head? What a waste of your life. Dont let the fact its your fault you gave him the orders to kill himself get to you. You'll be fine soon. Just ask god for forgivness that you made him kill himself. He might feel an ounce of pity and spare you. Then again, maybe god does not like you. I suggest becoming a nun. They are very nice to each other. I suspect some are lesbian. Try that.

[view]


Ok I use Limewire and whenever I try to download certain songs (Mockingbird for example, it says file was corrupted) no matter how many different ones I try to download. Does this happen to anyone else and what can I do about it? I love that song.

Its because what you're doing is illegal and the government is beginning to track down on your computer. You can be sued for hundred of thousands of dollars and your parents will be very very pissed off. I recommend you un-install your limewire now before the government finds your ip address and then finds you.

[view]


Does anyone know any inspirational sayings? I am in need of inspiration.

~Nokomis~

Anything by mindless self indulgence

[view]


ok well my talent show is tomorrow and im singing this song called "your love is life to me" and my throat is bothering me! my boyfriend says its because of practicing but i dont know im scared because if i lose my voice i cant sing!!

Oh my lord. Then what?

[view]


I guess this could go under this subject? but my class (8th grade) is graduating this year.. so we need to find a graduation song.. if you could list as many as you can think of with the artist's name that would be great!

please do not say graduation- vitamin c shes obvious..

graduatino- vitamin c

[view]


what are some good "truths" and "dares" for "truth or dare"?!

Truth-----when did you last pick your nose

dare---- pick your nose and get a nice big boooooooger!!!

truth------ when did you last have a thought of pigs screwing pigs

dare------ go suck that persons richard

[view]


What do you do for clammy hands?

Wipe them on your pants.

[view]


does anyone know any websites where i can get free sheet music for piano?

www.pianossuck.com

[view]


Okay my b/f like never calls me and when I dont call him on the weekends *which i do but he is never there* he goes off *not really but yeah* and i really REALLy like him but i dont know what to do

On top of all that in one day all i get is one maybe two *but not likly* hugs and i well want more hugs so yeah


HELP!!

Why dont you give him some more hugs? Maybe he feels left out.

[view]


I have a really bad problem with my hair. it's huge. It frizzy and thick and its so hard to manage. I was just wondering if there are any known products that can help me with my unmanageable hair. I've tried thinning, and cutting and many products with minimal success. Also straightening my hair takes about 3 hours and I really dont have that kind of time to spend on my hair. Please help!! I rate high for appropriate answers

I once had unmanagable hair. You know, down there...................

[] []
| |

[view]


well i love my girlfriend with all my heart, she's the sweetest girl ever i would do anything for her, but lately it seems like shes losing interest in me what should i do.. i dont want to lose her because i would be lost.. i just dont know what to do.

you dont want to lose her because you would be lost? correction she would be lost. What you should do? Tie a rope around her neck, whenever she frays pull on it, she'll return.

[view]




<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker