Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
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Please tell me what you think of the song. It is alternative/pop so please tell me, i need a song for an audition and i might sing this
This is who i am, This is who i wanna be
I can be an eagle soaring through the breeze,
I can be a mermaid swimming in the seas,
But this is who i am, This is who i wanna be,
And i won't change just for you, cuz i need to be me
Chorus
You always look at me like i'm who they say
And trying to tell me to be this way,
Did you ever think i may be too much
to do a certain dance (a certain touch)
This is who i am this is who i wanna be,
I'm not a supermodel,
I'm not your barbie doll,
Don't expect from me
A beautiful fantisy,
Cuz i'm already beautiful,
Inside my soul
But this is who i am, This is who i wanna be
Chorus
Guitar solo
In the mirror is where she comes face to face with her fears
Her own reflections now fatal after all these years,
All of her life she has tried to be something besides herself,
Now she's someone else with regret
Thanks a bunch!
Lizzy (link)
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I like it but agree with jbdreamer that you should sing a familiar song for an audition.
The only thing I can say about the words (and this is just my personal opinion) is that they seem to be a mixed message. I like the fact that the singer is happy with who she is. The Chorus seems to suddenly change the thought to the opposite when it says she has regret. I would rather see a consistent message.
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dear, any one
one of my friend is a gay/lisbaian
person i dont think its tht bad but it goes alout against my religion is it wrong of me not to care even tho my religon says that they will not go to heaven at least thts wat my mom says but im 16 and 16 a very confussing age
*The confussed 16 year old* (link)
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If you are Christian then the Bible says "all have sinned." So a gay/lesbian person is definitely no worse than any of the rest of us. We don't have the right to judge anyone, only God does.
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There's a group of girls at my school who have been cutting themselves. I talked to my counseler and he said that it was the right thing to tell him, and he would have me remain anonomys. One of the girls and she found out from my counseler. She got mad at me, and she said that I should mind my own buisness. Was she right, or was that the right thing to do?!? Please help!!!!!!!!!
Lily (link)
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Yes, you did the right thing. Cutting can either be a suicide attempt, or a self mutilation thing, which is very different. Either way it isn't good for them, and even if they are mad at you, you still did the right thing.
But I would also keep in mind that the counselor didn't act very professionally by letting them know how he found out.
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Ive been married for 20 years, my husband is 42, but acts like a 12 year old. He is irresponsible, impulsive, selfish, and out of control financially. He has made one bad decision after another, running up bills he never intends to pay, he has a really small attention span, often forgetting conversations 10 minutes later. Cant remember where he parked his car, where he left his tools, often leaving them on a job.Often causes arguements by repeating things wrong between others.Often sits and zombies out when the television is on, even shouting his name cant get his attention. Seems so distracted often says or does something embarassing,like blurting out things that have nothing to do with the current topic we're discussing, because he's not paying attention. He is very distant with all his kids, never talking or communicating with any of them, he only says hello when he gets home and thats it.All five kids are late teens and early 20's now and have no relationship with him or have any interest to. Each one is angry over his lack of attention or commication with them. He has no interest in friends or family.We have no socialized with other couples or friends in 18 years. When we do have a family get together or party, he cracks the exact same jokes, after that he is not capable of starting any conversation, and leads the company in the kitchen for me to entertain while Im cooking. He is often completely silent in the presence of everyone, because he doesnt have anything at all to say.Its bizarre and very uncomfortable for everyone. He has conducted his life so wrecklessly he is in huge financial trouble with 5 credit cards, he charged up and never once made payment on any of them, bounced checks in two states, owes two banks money, cheated the IRS five times, tryed to run a business 6 times, failed each time, and owes tons of bills, and almost cause foreclosure on our home several times. We won the lotto years back,a nd he squandered all the money on frivolous things he wanted for himself, never sharing a dime with his family or anyone.He hides snacks and treats I buy so he doesnt have to share with his own kids. Hides money from his paycheck to spend on himself. Never included me on any of his banks accounts. He has abused his checking account so bad he is no longer allowed to open an account in any bank. We are now flat broke due to his immaturity and schemes. Now that he has hit rock bottom, and has ruined every relationship with everyone he knows, he is now claiming depression because his father was an alcoholic and abusive. Is this an excuse for an immature, spoiled selfish man who is ashamed? Or is this a valid reason for the chaos of this crazy roller coaster life he's put us through? His mother says he is exaggerating about the abuse, and he was only punished by the father when it was deserved.She also told me that he was the only child the father payed attention to because he was a star athlete growing up. She says it was the other kids who were ignored and abused. He has taken advantage of every kindness anyone has ever offered him, never giving nothing back in return. He has a brother who is slightly "off" acts very hyper and loud, and has strange habits, he has a nephew diagnosed with ADHD. Is this depression, or is there something else wrong with a grown man who acts so irrpesponsible. Its as though he never learns, no matter how many times he fails, he goes right back and repeats the exact same actions and refuses to beleive the consequences will be the same. He cant remember anything he reads, hears or see's on television. Its like he is incapable of absorbing any kind of knowledge. His words, his ideas, everything about him is outdated and from the 60's and 70's time era. It is very embarassing when he speaks in front of company or any other adult we are around. There is always an uncomfortable silence after one of his embarassing remarks or comments.He is also addictive with gambling, and porn on the internet and movies,and was smoking pot for years until I finally got him to stop. he seems spaced out and zombie like at any given time of the day. What could possibly be wrong with a 42 year old who thinks and acts like this ?? If his family is saying he is exaggerating about the abuse, and they do not have any problems even close to ones he has, is he lieing and useing his father as an excuse, or could he possibly really be depressed for the last 20 years as he claims? His father died of cancer when he was 19, so he has not been an influence in his everyday life for over 20 years. Thank you (link)
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- Yes, he has depression. He may have other things going on too. Depression can be dangerous if he gets suicidal.
- He needs to be re-evaluated for the Lexapro. If one drug is not getting good results, the doctor can give him something different and it might work. Lexapro can cause memory problems, or cause them to get worse.
- Psycotherapy (talk therapy) is only effective if the patient is motivated and sees a need for it. A psychologist will not do anyone any good who is not willing to work on their issues themselves. If he can get an effective medication, he may respond to talk therapy better.
- Here is a website with a forum about mental illness:
http://www.nami.org/Hometemplate.cfm
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My sister, who is almost 20 years old, is with a guy who is totally wrong for her. He never takes her out on dates, or buys her anything, (not meaning that material things are that important but come on...), and the second she gets her paycheck he turns around with his hand out, telling her that he deserves some money for some reason or another. She is in college right now, and I can tell that this guy is ruining her life. She has dropped a lot of classes just because she doesn't have time for them because she has to go help him with his kid (from a previous relationship)or some other chore that she really has nothing to do with. He wont let her hang out with her old friends, because they might make her "disloyal" to him, in his opinion. I keep telling her that she needs to back off and find a better guy who has her interests at heart, but her response is "you haven't been in a relationship like tihs, when you're in love you have to make certain sacrifices" I don't know, maybe it's just my opinion, but when you're in love, you normally don't break up at least twice a week. (4 times so far since the beginning of April...today is the seventh...) Am I overacting or am I right in trying to convince her to ditch the guy? And how do I go about convincing her?
Concerned Sister (link)
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You are right. It sounds like she is in what will turn out to be a classic abusive relationship. She needs counseling. There really isn't a lot you can do until she realizes her part in it, which is believing she is not worth better treatment.
Here is one website that lists warnings. There are a lot more websites about domestic violence out there.
http://home.cybergrrl.com/dv/book/warn.html
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A bunch of my friends keep complaining that they do not have dates for prom. They have even stated that they will not go if they do not get a date. Some of them have gone so far as to say that they will not go unless someone asks them.
I, for one, have a date, because I got off my sorry ass, swallowed my pride, and asked my best guy friend to go with me, because I'd rather have fun and have fond memories of prom than ruin it by going with anyone I'm remotely romantically attached to - I learned my lesson at my ninth grade social. Whenever my friends complain and I tell them that maybe they should do something about it, they pretty much tell me to shut up because I have a date and "I'm not one to talk." Which is fine, but why complain to me when I took care of the situation already?
I really want my friends to be there, and it's not like they don't like my date or anything. This is the only time of their life they'll get to do something like this, so why don't they want to go? I understand that money can be an issue for some people, but not going because you don't have a date is a stupid reason to give.
What should I tell them the next time the situation arises? (link)
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I think you have done the right thing by actually finding a solution to the problem instead of just complaining about it, like your friends are. You are right, they should just swallow their pride and ask someone who is likely to accept or at least likely to be tactful if they decline (that might be hard to find in high school.)
Can't you go alone to a prom now if you want to? When I went you were definitely required to have a date, but I heard that is not longer a requirement. That would be swallowing their pride too, but might be easier than asking someone.
Or they can wait till the last minute hoping they will be asked, or put out some strong hints. Sometimes guys are shy about asking even though they want to.
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I need help in finding a career that's risky, adventurous, enjoyable and never boring.
Any suggestions (link)
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How about a war journalist? It's risky, adventurous, and never boring, but I am not sure how enjoyable it might be.
Here is a website that tells you about careers. Maybe you can get some ideas from there:
http://www.bls.gov/oco/home.htm
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I am failing in math I don't want to do grade fourth again!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Ask your teacher if you can get extra tutoring anywhere. The teacher may help you, or might suggest another student that can help. The only way to learn math, if you have trouble understanding it, is to work at it.
Here is a website that says you can get free tutoring at some libraries. I don't know if this is only a free trial before they want some money, but if you live close enough to one of these libraries, maybe you can get help there.
http://www.tutor.com/
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I was in a relationship, and we were having difficulties, I called the police and charged him with assault. Now that i have to go to court he didnt commit assault, all i wanted to do was get my childern back. Can you give me some advice on what i should do (link)
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Assault is any unwanted touch to your body. If he shoved you, or threw something at you, that is assault. You need to talk to the policeman who took the report, because sometimes women don't realize what a legal assault is, and regret later charging someone. Be sure that you are clear about what exactly happened.
If you lied, you are in trouble, because your husband can then claim false arrest, defamation of character, slander, libel, etc. If you lied to the police because he had custody of your children and you only wanted to hurt him, you might even go to jail. I'm not a lawyer or a policeman, but I advise you to talk to someone who knows, the police first, then a lawyer if you need to.
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what should I do if i wanna wear a skirt but my legs aren't the prettiest things to look at? (link)
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I would wear a longer skirt instead of a short one if you are self-conscious about your legs.
Unless you are very over weight, anyone can wear a skirt without worrying about how thier legs look. And even then, I have seen a lot of girls who are very heavy wear skirts with self confidence.
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Will ya'll let me know it this is a good idea for spicing up my relationship....Ok Here it is, After school tomorrow I'm going to the band room, and before i walk in the room my boyfriend will be at the time walking towards the room ,so i'm going to look at him and gesture him to come here..and i'm going to go in turn of the lights and i'm am going to go to an empty room and when he walks in i'm going to gesture him to come in there and when he walks in shut the door and push him up against something and startin kissing him and slowly move my hand slowly down and unzip his pants and then give him head... How does that sound???? please let me know before tomorrow!!!! (link)
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I don't think it is a good idea to do this at a school.
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Does anybody know why I have an erection (but have been circumstised) and it`s very painful?? Anyone who has same problem - advice would be gratefully appreciated.
(link)
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I would see a doctor. There are some conditions that can be serious.
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I was at a friends house and I was playing on her brothers skateboard. Stupidly I was wearing sandals and I fell. I hurt my toe and it looks fine but it hurts when I walk and it looks a bit swollen. I'm not sure if I broke it, fractured it, or just stubbed it really bad but I would appreciate any suggestions that would make the healing process faster! (link)
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If you broke it, it would probably hurt enough for you to want to go to the doctor. With broken toes, they usually just tape them to the next one and give you pain killers, but anyway, I doubt if you broke it.
For things like sprains the best thing is to keep it up. Whenever you can sit down and put it on a foot stool, or up on a sofa on pillows. Ice actually may make it feel better. It takes down swelling. You can also try aspirin or ibuprofen (advil or motrin) if you are over 15 and it is ok with your parents (read the box on how much to take.) In any case it should be better in within 2 or 3 days.
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OK me and my friends were having a discussion and one of my friends stated that the faith of catholic is just another branch of christianity, but catholics have very very different beliefs then christians do. Can someone help me make up my mind? (link)
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Catholics are definitely Christians. I don't know why the rumor started that they weren't.
The main difference between Protestants and Catholics is the authority of the priests. Catholics believe a priest is necessary to hear confession, give last rights, etc. Protestants believe every person has a direct contact with God though prayer and does not need a human to approach God for them.
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I didnt't really know where to put this in a category but...
Well this whole religous thing.. IM not religous but I want to believe in something and no I dont want to believe in "GOD" or Jesus Christ I do already believe in satan that he is real.. "Lucifer" I want to learn more about him..
I dont want to hear stuff from all you catholic and christian people unless u have the truth because the bible it doesnt know what happened.. and neither do u.
Can someone give me some sites and places I can go to search further on Lucifer?
Because I've always believed their was a satan and people awlays said he was mean and tricked people into selling their souls and he has demons and he hates god why? why does he hate god? WHY I NEED TO KNOW I want to be educated cuz u know they dont teach these type of things at school or church.. they teach about god and math and science and englisha nd all that..
I just want to be something
Im sick of being the non religous person who doesnt know anything about god or heaven or being catholic or christian or anything
I "WANT" to learn more about satan not god satans life satan where does he live hell ya I know but whats it like fire? hott,? torture? Or is good? and is heaven really the evil place..??
WHAT IS IT.. give me some information please
Im not crazy and Im not a satanist I just want to learn about him to see if I would like to become a satanist
and if u think thats dumb eh go fuck urself!
Atleats I want to learn more about what I believe in
And I want to do like traditions
I wish the whole world was gothic and satanists.. it would be great
I mean the theme of the world being gothic..
well fi any one has any information or sites on satan and about being satanist and any traditions
PLEASE LET ME KNOW! (link)
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Here is one that lists a lot of resources (scroll down on the page):
http://www.faqs.org/faqs/religions/satanism/cos/
You say "I dont want to hear stuff from all you catholic and christian people unless u have the truth because the bible it doesnt know what happened.. and neither do u."
...Just remember that whatever you read, where ever you read it, you will never know if it is truth or not, either.
Here is what I understand about this: Lucifer was Satan's name when he was an angel of light. He was like a spritual brother of Jesus in the spirit world because they were created near the same time. God gave him free will, like he gave humans, and Jesus. Lucifer wanted to have power equal to God. He acted on this, God got furious, and threw him out of "heaven" to the earth where humans live. For some reason, in spite of being very angry, God didn't destroy Lucifer, or the humans that rebeled against him either, but decided to give them time (thousands of years) although He (God) said his mind was already made up about the ultimate outcome. So Lucifer is here on earth in the Spirit world. He hates God because he wanted power, and failed, and was thrown out, and God has promised him eternal torture/binding with chains/etc. in the future. The hate seems fairly justified to me. The demons he has with him (from what I understand but I don't know if this is right) are "fallen angels" or angels that took his side during his rebellion, and were thrown out of heaven with him.
Satan and the demons all live in the spirit world, and do have powers beyond human ability, but they can't read minds. That is why anything said to them has to be spoken aloud. They do have a reputation of being dishonest.
Go for it, study Satan and make up your own mind. He and his demons scare me. I was an atheist until I had some contact with him, then ultimately became a Christian.
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We have enough money to pay off two car notes, but only half enough to pay into the house. Is it better to pay off the cars and in turn use that money each month to pay off the house, or pay down on the house. Our interest rates are low on all expenses. (link)
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I would pay off the cars. Cars depreciate in value so you will probably owe more than the car is worth throughout most of the loan. Then use the extra money to pay off the house (or save to replace the cars later without a car loan.)
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If you as a student in college in north carolina are awarded a scholarship and you end up dropping out of school do you have to pay the scholarship back to the organization (link)
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No. Scholarships are an award and you aren't required to pay them back. If there was a contract of some sort that you signed, then, yes, but that isn't normal for a scholarship.
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I am in love with this guy and I think he is in love with me too.We are both 13. When we are by ourselfs he is all over me but when we are around other people he acts like he is just my friend. What do I do? I am a girl. (link)
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I think this sounds like a good thing. I would rather have someone who loves me treat me with respect when we were with other people than be all over me all the time.
When I see a guy all over a girl in public, I never think "Oh, they are just in love." I think the guy has no self control and the girl has little self respect.
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How to face the interview to working holiday making visa suceesfully? (link)
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Your question isn't very clear. Are you asking about getting a working visa while you are on vacation in the UK? Try posting your question again, more clearly with more information.
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I have a question regarding my ex-boyfriend...we broke up in December of 2001 abruptly after a horrendous visit to meet his parents (it was all just bad timing) he broke up with me because he felt our disagreements during our visit made a bad impression, thus he broke up with me on the plane...it was all very quick. We had only a very passionate 7 months together mind you. Yet, we had this awkward year and half afterward of not being together yet still feeling so much and having a sexual relationship. I really stopped being close with him around April of 2003. I graduated that year and have since moved. He has been emailing me every so often wanting to know what is up with me and how my life is. He is the type to always have a motive in doing something...why is he bothering?! Yet, most of me is over him..I am curious..and still heart broken. Should I avoid anything really personal when emailing..I dont want him to hurt me again, yet sometimes I wonder about the possibility...I am 24 female he is 23.
Thanks (link)
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I think it is likely your relationship would always be the same, with disagreements, and not being close enough. If you want to continue the relationship, just be aware that you will probably be hurt again. You would probably be better off finding someone else.
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