chakra's advice column | Page 8

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

E-mail:

princess_chakra@yahoo.co.uk

Gender:

Female

Location:

United kingdom

Occupation:

colour therapist, studing pychotherapy and councelling

Age:

21

MSN:

princess_muffin2002@hotmail.com

Member Since:

May 22, 2005

Answers:

346

Last Update:

November 12, 2011

Visitors:

33476

Main Categories:

about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.

advice

my friend brought me back a sea shell from myrtle beach and its small and white but around the edges its really black and you can tell it wasn't originally that color so how do i make it sparkling white again without harming the shell? can i use bleach?

This website tells you all you need to know, theres many ways to clean sea shells and it depends if it's dead or alive

http://www.seashells.org/cleaning.htm

at night i cant go to bed!! my mom wont let me take any medicines cuz im only 13. "happy thots" no longer help. is there any programs or something i can get to help me sleep. i got this sleeping cd to help u sleep but i get scared still..ive had this my whole life and i get scared SOO much!

I have this trouble sometimes too, before bed take a bath, i find radox armatherpy bubble bath works, its especially designed to help you relax and sleep.

There are also some sleep sprays you can spray on your pillow at night, i haven't tried these yet but i will do. Radox do one but you should be able to find out other sleep sprays if you search in google.

Also, i'm not sure where you live but here in the UK we have baby channel on Sky in the kids section.
It's great because it has programmes especially to aid sleep, its for babys but works on everyone.
Theres cartoons but also relaxing music, footage of waterfalls and rainforests, and fish.

Listening to the radio helps too, really quietly but just so you can hear it, i find OneWord radio realy good because there are no songs, it's just people reading books.

You say you get scared at bedtime, i suffer with panic, it comes on alot at night, especially when its silent and pitch black so i always sleep with the tv on, silent or just with a tiny bit of sound. I darken the picture too so it doesnt disturb my boyfriend too much and i put something on thats kind of comforting, i leave it on those early morning quiz shows now, i watch my friends dvds though before i settle down as they really comfort me.

i'm 5'2" my boyfriend is 5'7-8" he's 7 1/2" and i have really short legs... he doesn't like to do all the work so he puts me on top sometimes, and i just feel soo lost. i can't get myself up high enough to do a good job, and in past relationships i've never had to do anything. i'm trying everything i can to do better.. i've read everything.. is there anyone with the same problems?

thank you,
beth

Yes i can deffiantly relate, although theres more of a height difference with me and my boyfriend.
I'm 5ft2, and he's 6ft4!

Have you tried putting a pillow under your back to elevate you?

Also, instead of doing it in bed, we found sitting on the floor works wonders, him sat on the floor while you sit on top of him with your legs wrapped round his waist, it's really close and intimate too :-)

or you could try sitting on sofa and he kneels on the floor and you do it that way.

Have fun! ;-)

16/F.I always feel shy to use public toilet. I feel somebody would heard the noise (Pissing & farting)and this make me embarassed. So I keep holding urine for many hours and give pain to my self. In my home I never use common toilet due to same fear.
Please help.

I used to be like this too and would be in so much pain for holding things in, now though if i ever have to use a public toilet i flush it first, to clean it up but also because there a loud swishing noise after you flush so no one can hear anything your doing.

If i'm at someone elses house or if we have visitors, i always run the tap when i go in so no one can hear.

ok i dont kno if i put it under the right category..sorry! lol..but anyways i have a problem with my nose..its peels ALL THE TIME..AND ON TOP OF THAT ITS SHINY..I DONT GET IT..PEELING USUALLY OCCURS BECAUSE THE SKIN IS DRY AND THEN AGAIN MY NOSE IS SHINY WHICH MEANS IT HAS MOISTURE..does anybody know how i could fix this...?

Try Talc powder, that helps dry your skin so it should help the shinyness too. Be careful though as it makes you sneeze so try it just in your house first and see how you get on x

Okay me and my gf have been dating for 8months now, and we have had sex, but we do mess around, w/ masturbation, oral, and "dry hump!" (?!) so if we were dry humping and she was wearing shorts and panty's and i "cam" a little but it didnt go in her vagina, and it was 2 weeks after her last period...could she still get pregenant?!

Your cum didnt go inside her, and she was wearing clothing so theres no way she can be pregnant.

whenever it thunders and lightenings. i get anexity attacks, i sware i cant do anything i have to curl up into a ball and wait till someone comes and helps me.

and when the power goes out, i scream for someone, what can i do to help myself?

I have alot of panic and anxiety attacks too, for everyday things though but i do get really panicy when the power goes off too or when it's thundering.

I have some of those push lights though which are really good, they take 4 batterys and all you do is push the top of the light and it comes on, they are really powerful, i have 2 by my bed, so they're really handy in the night and you can carry them easily too.
Or atleast have a bright torch with you.

You need a distraction for panic and anxiety attacks, because they are caused by your mind so you need to think of other things. Its hard to do when your in such a state so i always have puzzle books by my bed too, if i panic i do the puzzles, usally easy ones because they dont take too much thinking and you can work quickly through them.
You could also try reading magazines too, but puzzles helps me faster. It always helps to ease and get rid of the attacks.
Also have a drink with you too, i drink with a straw because i find it easier to do that when i'm shaking.

It depends on the strength of the storm and where it is, but i always watch dvds when i'm panicing unless its a powercut where obviously i cant.
But i always watch Friends and with subtitles too, it always helps to calm me down because i enjoy it and it's easy watching, its not tense, i find it really calming.

Hi I was wondering if there is something I can do to help me wake up in the morning. No matter how early I go to sleep, it is impossible for me to get up. It's kind of to a point where I'm thinking maybe something is wrong with me.
-No matter how early I go to sleep, I am still SUPER tired in the morning.
-My mom has to wake me up in the morning because I don't wake up to an alarm- i sleep right through it.
-I've tried OTC sleeping medicine-doesn't help
-Drinking hot milk/tea before bed-doesn't help
-When I wake up my mom has to like shake me and usually I fall back asleep very quickly- then she will come back and she is mad at me. I really can't help falling back asleep because I'm not exactly conscious yet.
-I usually don't have a problem falling asleep, just waking up.
-Usually if when I finally wake up which takes me like 35 minutes, I can BARELY open my eyes until I get in the shower.

If you can help me or know a way or medicine to make me WAKE UP in the morning that would be great. I'm asking now so that I'll be able to get in a habit for next school year. Oh yeah btw Im
14/F
Thankyou!!!

It might be that you are having too much sleep, it sounds wierd but if we have more sleep than we need, we feel over tired again. So try to work out how much sleep you are having, maybe your getting to sleep too early.

If it's becoming a real problem you may want to see your GP, who'll be able to suss out whether you have a sleep disorder or whether you are ok, and help you with advise and at a last resort medication.

Okay so me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 2 years. And i think hes cheating on me but i dont know. He never wants to go anywhere let alone do anything such as prom i had to beg him to go with me. He never wants to do anything duriing the week or on the weekends. I cant remember the last time we went out. But he always has time to go out with his friends, Everytime hes sopposibly out with his friends i call he doesnt answer. Such as tongiht i called him like 20 times and he finally called me back and told me he was at his grandmothers. Not to sound crazy but how many grandmothers are let alone awake up on a sunday at 8:30? I mean my grandmother goes to sleep around 6. And his sister told me he never came home from work. He neveer went to work though?? I dont get it. He never calls everytime i call him its like im a bother he'll tell me ill call you back and never calls back.? Everytime i ask to see his phone he hides it and wont even let me look at it. A few weeks ago i saw some girl texted him and said this is my new number and so but why would she texted him with her new number if he never had her old number? that i knew about atleast. Whats going on some one helpp

I'm not sure if he's cheating on you, but it deffinatly seems like he has lost interest in you and the relationship.
He doesn't want to go to the prom with you, he never calls you or wants to hang out with you anymore, i'm sorry but i truly believe that your relationship is at an end.
I think the best thing for you to do is talk to him, just ask him whats going on, tell him the facts (what you've said on here), and i think you should end the relationship before he does. That way, you walk away with some dignity.

*Also, he could have been lying about being with his grandma, but not because it was 8:30. I don't know if you meant morning or night, but alot of grandmas are up at that time, my grandma is nearly 80 and she goes to bed at 11pm and is up between 5am and 7am.

Okay. I'm 16 and I'm a girl. Of course, I worry a lot about my appearance and what people think of me. But unlike most girls, I obsess about it. It's ruining my life and my relationships with my friends and family are suffering because of it. I'm constantly thinking things like, are they looking at me because I look bad, are they laughing at me, do my friends not want to hang out with me because I'm not pretty, etc.

Not only that, but I worry about absolutely everything else. I worry that my boyfriend is going to get killed before he comes back home (he's working in an office job in the city for two or three months so it's not like he's gone off to war), I worry about my family members getting hurt, I worry about walking out my front door because I'm scared I'm gonna get kidnapped, raped, shot at, etc. I worry that my boyfriend is cheating on me, or doesn't love me, or is using me. I worry that my friends think I'm boring or don't like me for some reason. I read way, way into everything everyone says and overanalyze it and turn it around so that it hurts me. I can go on and on but the point is: all of this worrying and self-deprecating and obsessing over everything is destroying my life.

I don't know what to do. I need advice. Please don't tell me, "Just don't worry so much!" because it's absolutely NOT that simple. Believe me, if I could just stop, I would. But I don't believe that I can. I've spoken to my mom about it, and she's suggested taking me to the doctor (with no actual intention of doing it) and I'm a little wary of doctor's and taking medication intended to change something in my head.

Anyways, can someone please give me some advice? Should I see a doctor? Is medication the right path to take? I just want to be happy with my life, and appreciate what a wonderful thing that I have, and the way I worry is keeping me from doing so.

Thanks in advance for your advice and sorry this is so long!

I can relate to alot of what you have said, the thing that strikes me the most is when you say "I worry that my boyfriend is going to get killed before he comes back home", i have this fear too, it's because of my OCD (obsesive compulsive disorder), you sound like you have an OCD too.

OCD's if left untreated can spiral into many different kinds, which is why you should go to your doctor, you might not nesesarly be put on medication, there are other different routes to take such as councelling, therapy and alternative therapies.
Your doctor will be able to help you decide which route to take and if you do need therapy you wont have to pay if he refers you to it, (that's how it works in the UK).

I know it's easy for me to say but try not to worry too much about this because OCD is very treatable, it's just best to get it sorted now because it goes even further.

14/f. Haha I feel stupid asking this but people say they trim their pubes. How do you do this? How short should you go? And when you shave your bikini line, how do you not get the razer bumps? And any other information about grooming down there would be helpful.

You could just use hair removing cream for the bikini area, which is painless and leaves you smooth.

A quicker option is trimming it with an electric razor attatchment because then you don't get razor bumps and it's not sore.

The first time you do it, it's best to just take it all off, then when it starts to grow back you can decide if you want to take it all off again, or if you want just a strip of hair, or just a heart shape, you might just want to have it neatly trimmed where your pants cover it and remove any excess.

How do i know when i am cumming? Or having an orgasim

if your a girl, then you clench inside as your vaginal muscles go into spasm, and you get shakey.
Its also intense you sometimes you can either cry or get the giggles after.

hey okay so my dad is 58, and he quit smoking in thesummer of 2005. He had smoked for 40 years and i was proud when i FINALLY MADE him stop. cause i know how hard it was for him.

I was wondering if his health a little bit better than when he smoked. Any ways to make his lungs cleaner or something? cause even if he stopped, he'd been smoking for 40 Years. and like a lot each day.

Thanks!

This info is from a piece called "Why people smoke", its very interesting and helpful :-) It should also help your dad to keep motivated.

"How Quickly Do the Benefits of Quitting Start?"

* "Just 20 minutes after your last cigarette, your blood pressure and
pulse rate drop to normal and the body temperature of your hands and
feet increases to normal."

* "A mere 8 hours after your last smoke, the carbon monoxide level
decreases and the oxygen level in your blood increases to normal."

* "Just 24 hours after your last cigarette, you substantially lessen
your chances of having a heart attack."

* "Two days after your last cigarette, you will notice that your
ability to taste and smell is enhanced."

* "Three days later, your breathing should be noticeably better
because your lung capacity will be greater."

* "Your circulation will improve and your lung functioning will
increase up to 30% within two weeks to three months after quitting."

* "Between one month and nine months, the cilia in your lungs will
regenerate, allowing your body to clean your lungs and reduce
infection."

* "One year after quitting, your risk of coronary heart disease is
half that of a smoker."

* "Five years after quitting, your risk of stroke is reduced to that
of a nonsmoker."

* "Ten years after quitting, the lung cancer death rate is about half
that of a continuing smokers. The risk of cancer of the mouth, throat,
esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas decreases."

* "Fifteen years after quitting, your risk of coronary heart disease
is that of a nonsmokers.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Reports (1988, 1990)

Hey im 13/f and i am having probs. with my boyfriend like im not mad at him and he's not mad at me but the thing is we keep on planning dates to go to the movies or go and get ice cream or somthing like that but then the day we are gunna do it he cancels and says he has to do somthing but then i find out that he is with a friend and he ditched me to hang with his friends and when i tried to comfront him about it he said i was tying him down so can you help me ????
LoVe,
Wants to cry

It doesnt sound like he's ready for a relationship. Your only 13, and i'm guessing he's not much older, it just sounds like he thinks he's too young to have a girlfriend and be "tied down".
It doesnt mean he doesn't like you, but your both so young and he wants to do what normal kids do, have fun and be with his friends, not be tied down in a relationship.

I think it would be best for you to just talk to him, find out how he's feeling and if you guys would be best off just being friends for now.

I cut myself for the first time today. I'm afraid that cutting will become something that I do regularly. I need to figure out how to get over cutting, because i already feel like i'm a crazy person. pleaseee help!

oh and don't tell me to google. i did, and i read nearly all of the search results. reading some of them makes me want to cut even more.

i'd love to hear a response from a person who has gone through this.

I used to cut when i was in a deep pit of depression, apart from finding distractions such as watching your favourote dvd, reading magazines, doing puzzle books just to make yourself think about something else, and also keeping your hands busy with writing, typing ect, you also need safer ways to get your anger or frustration out or whatever it is that is making you cut.

For some people seeing the blood makes them feel better, others feel better from the pain, sometimes its a mixture of both like with myself.

So if it's the blood that makes you feel better then fake it. Put red paint on your wrists, or felt pen. I used some strawberry extracts from hand cream because the strawberry smudged and looked like blood on my wrists which did make me feel better, it also kept me distracted so i didnt feel the need to cut my self properly.

If the pain is what makes you feel better then use ice cubes on your wrists, it will sting and feel like your cutting but it wont actualy do any harm.

I got these tips from a top psychologist who was talking about self harm on a youth tv show, they really do work too.

16, female, 105 lbs., 5'4"

am I extremely underweight?

I don't think so.

not at all.

yet my parents are considering sending me to in-patient rehabilitation for anorexia.

any thoughts?

help?

You weight 7.5 stone which as you can see on this chart you are boarderline underweight/just OK

http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/bigimages/weightheight.jpg

You could do with putting abit of weight on to reach a healthy weight but if you dont have a eating disorder and aren't on a diet then you shouldnt need to go to a in-patient rehabilitation for anorexia.

Hi, I have been trying for awhile to figure out how to make my vagina more attractive. When I shave I get razor bumps and the removal of hair doesn't seem to last very long. I haven't tried waxing but I'm a bit scared of the pain. And I would rather not go somewhere to get it done because that's kind of embarassing having someone go down their and fix the mess. Please help me find the answer to my problem, I am now willing to try ANYTHING. Thanks a lot.

Hair removing cream. It's easy and painless!
Make sure you buy one that is specifically for the bikini area.

well when i was alot younger the doctor thought i was depressed which i wasnt but then the medication made me depressed so i had to smoke pot all the time now im all paranoid about everything i was wonderin do you think i could sue this doctor cause if i wasnt put on that stuff in the first place cause nothin was wrong with me i wouldnt be like i am now im to scared to take prescribed drugs i would take morphine or somethin strong like that... but yeah do you recon id win the case?

BTW im 17-f

I don't think you could sue. He was obviously trying to help you and doctors do get it wrong sometimes when they are trying to diagnose you.

Also, it wasn't his fault that you smoked pot, that was your decision, not his You didn't HAVE to smoke it. There's millions of people who suffer terrible depression, including myself, and we don't smoke pot.

So no, i really doubt that you would have a case.

hey ppl! well, i'm 14/f, and i have a problem. when i was about... 11 i think, i wanted to start shaving my legs. well, my mom didn't think i was old enough to shave with an actual razor, so she got me an electric razer thing. well, now i'm 14 and that electric razer does just not cut it. it doesn't get all of the hair off my legs. i want a razor, but i don't think my mom will let me. does that stuff by suave or whatever work? its the stuff kinda like nair. with the bladeless razor. idk what to do. help! thanx!!

Hair removing creams are effective but can take ages to do.

You could always use safety razors, they're disposable and look like normal disposable razors but they're alot safer.

Well I always make up these fantasies that my crush and I will some how run into them somewhere! Like say at the grocery store or something. Or even if my dad was having some party for like football or something, and it just so happens that my crush had come because his had knew mine, and just happened to come up the stairs in my room or something and we start talking...I think about my crush all the time...and when I'm in bed I imagine those things then too. I think I might be bipolar because my friend says that one symptom of being bipolar is that you think anything can happen to you. Whats wrong with me?!

What you describe isn't a symptom of bipolar, it's normal to think and daydream about your crush, everyone does it.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>