MissBonne's advice column

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Q: Why do many non-Christians celebrate Christmas? Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, so I just don't understand how anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus could celebrate his birth just for presents. And why do nonreligious people have to celebrate Christmas? Why not Hannukah or Kwanza?

Also, why do people who only celebrate Christmas and Easter consider themselves Christian? (people who don't pray or go to church, but still celebrate Christian holidays)

Basically, Christmas really isn't a Christian holiday - its date is based off a pagan holiday. Its based of the pagans holidays Yule and Saturnalia which are winter celebrations. Most scholars also point out that Jesus wasn't even born on the 25th. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ)

As for Easter, most holidays nowadays are for families to get together - not celebrate a shared faith.

Q: Hi,
Sometimes, i think that i'm hearing voices in my head. My friend said that she thinks i may need to see a psychiatrist.
I'm under a really cheap health plan that doesn't offer a lot of medical coverage. I don't even know if it covers therapy actually.
Anyway, i'm wondering if anyone knows of a psychiatrist who charges relatively inexpensive rates (because i'm unemployed now.)
Thanks.

Actually, you may qualify for government help.

http://www.Firstgov.gov should point you in the right direction

Q: What does it mean when a guy call you and said, "Wanting to see you" when he's drunk?

Does he like you or just horny?

Any drunk calling usually means the latter.

Q: I am Junior in high school 16years old and male, I have a decent appearance and am comfortable with the way I look, except I have a problem.

I have thinning hair, it has started in the front of my hair line, towards my scalp. I part my hair in the center or on the side and it is slightly obvious that my hair is thinning. If i run my hand through my hair i will have no problem pulling out about 10-15 hairs, on average. It is in my family to lose hair early and I would really like to change it, at least make me feel a bit more comfortable with my hair. IS there somthing I can do to make it look fuller, do certain shampoos/hair styles work? any advice would be great, I dont want to lose my hair by my 21st birthday :-(

Def, hair shampoo, conditioner will work - but try changing your hair style. A good hair sylist can suggest a new style to hide the thinning without doing the whole comb over.

Q: I have a date on Sunday with this guy I met from myspace. He's real I promise. Anyway, what should we do?? any suggestions??? I'm picking him up by the way and bringing him back to my town. we're both 18.

Why are you picking him up? With someone you meet online, you need to meet him someplace.

But, you're 18 - so I would assume you know enough to make the smart decision.

As for things you can do, I would suggestion things that get you moving; bowling, puttputt, rock climbing, arcade etc.

Q: MY FRIENDS ARE HORRIBLE!

They can't go ONE place without causing MAJOR drama, someone is always crying, there always embarrassing me, i hate them. I CAN'T STAND THEM. I go to a catholic school, so its not like i have all the choices in the world to make friends with people.

How can I make them better?
or what can i do!?!!!

You can't make them better but what you can do is realize you out grew their friendship and either

(a) expand your friends, join more clubs and meet different people

(b) When your friends do cause major drama, simple leave. Eventually, they'll get the idea and stop the behavior when you're around.

I'm not saying you should stop being friends with them, but limit your time spent with them instead.

Q: Alright. This is going to sound really emo, but I need advice. When I was 13 or 14, I was dianosed with depression. I cut a couple times. Then I basically overcame it, and moved to Nevada, where now everything's basically great. Until yesterday. I was working on my Halloween costume, and I was using a razor knife to cut the head box. The knife slipped and sliced my arm. It hurt, but it felt like all my problems came gushing out of that cut. I hate to admit it, but every time something bad happened today, I thought of that cut, and I wanted to do it again. And again and again and again. I don't want to get into this shit again. Please help.

First, let someone you trust know who will help to support your again.

Next, I completely know where you're coming from -that cut feels like such a powerful release, a big rush of adrenaline - it does become addicting.

You need to find a replacement for that rush feeling you get when there's a cut. Biking, swimming, working out are ways to release that adrenaline. Goto the local YMCA, sometimes they have boxing, rock climbi or diving are others ways too.

Q: This is going to sound really gross but my tongue is really cut up looking and it has a lot of splits, also I have braces and my teeth are in the way of my tongue cause I have an overbite and my tongue always rubs up against my teeth and it hurts really bad when my teeth make imprints in my tongue. I can line up my tongue with every one of my teeth and you would see how crooked my teeth were on my tongue. Thanks in advance.

Some 'remedies' include:
Natrum Mure 6 (health food store)
Dr of Orential (health food store)
Mouth may be too dry (drink more, etc)

Why?
Check your diet, something you might be eating may create the dry tongue
Live problems, or other health problems - this might be a symptom.

Q: 14/f Ok, so for Halloween I'm going as a sexy kitty: black lacy tank top, denim mini skirt, and black knee high boots (they're comfy, but look really cool=] ) with a cat tail and cat ears. so I have a question: should I do any face makeup? (black nose and whiskers) I don't want to look like a little girl, but i want it to look cat-ish. also, if i should, what should i use? thank you!

Here are some good links for you:
http://www.free-beauty-tips.com/cat-eyes.html
http://www.make-up.becomegorgeous.com/sexy-cat-eyes.php (this one has a picture)

Q: my mom is always asking me to clean my room, well, because its always a mess! i hate cleaning it though! i always get destracted and can never get it done. sometimes a 15 mintute thing can take me up to a week.

anything i can do??

Offer a trade.

For example, you will not clean your room (but you'll close the door and make sure its clean enough not to smell) in exchange for _________.

(Doing your own laundry, cleaning up after dinner, babysitting, a few dollars off your allowance)

Q: Okay so im 16 and im kinda seeing this guy and we just started saying "i love you" to each other. He tells me he really means it and im the only one he says it too. But i was looking at some of the comments hes got and a girl commented him "really? i love you more" and i saw the comment he left her and it said "i love you so much" he told me they were just really good friends but they used to date. Now I dont know if he is lying to me and just making up an excuse about being really good friends or if he just said it. but i can't figure out why he would say something like that if he didn't mean it. Does anyone know what i can say to him about it?

I wouldn't take much offense, anything online doesn't really have much accountability - because people do and say things that they normally wouldn't in real life.

What you can say is that you are uncomfortable with him leaving comments like those - and he should respect your wishes and not continue do so...

Q: I'm taking a poll and I'm curious what people think the most spoken language is. Don't search the site or look at other people's answers and see. I want what YOU think.

Most spoken, I would think that of hispanic origin.

Let us know the poll results...

Q: How do you play hard to get without making you seem "too hard to get"?

Not playing the game is the best way to stand out from the crowd. Most of the time, you generally lose.

Playing hard to get, without making it seem like you're playing hard to get - just remain casual, indfferent etc.

Q: My ex-girlfriend recently started talking to me again, I still really like her and she still likes me. But she is living with her b/f and im not sure what to do. I really want to get back with her but the only thing stopping us from getting back together is she lives with her b/f. should i keep talking to her? should i try to get back with her sence i still love her?

Stay away, stay away from doing anything but talking to her.

She has a bf and she lives with her bf. Don't mess that living arrangement up and don't be that other man.

You can suggestion that once/if she moves out, you'd be interested in being more than friends.

Q: Okay so I have to write a book about an element from the periodic table, I have silver, and it has to include all that boring information like atomic mass, eletron configuaration and stuff along with some interesting stuff but I need a way to make it interesting for little children (ages 4-7). It has to be factual so I can't just make up a story and be like "by the way he has ...for an atomic mass"

Any ideas?

Thanks so much!

Silver goes to the grocery store! He meets Mr. Atomic Mass and add a little bit to the story that atomic mass has to say to Silver.

Go, Silver goes on a treasure hunt and then you can descibe the clues 'atomic mass', etc.

Q:
my guidance councelors make a big deal out of at least 2 years of a foreign language in HS. i took spanish 1 and did well but last year i took spanish 2 for a little but i had to drop it because i absolutely couldnt do it, my teacher is an idiot ... my question is if you have not completed 2 or more years of foreign language does the college require you to take it ? i really dont wanna take it ... i think its such a waste of time & i dont wanna do it at all

Depends on what you want to be and where you will be going for college.

Jump online to any college website, look for the majors and its requirements.

Personally, my degree did not require any foreign language - so I didn't take them. However, if I was doing a business degree or customer service, Spanish is a great asset.

Normally, two years of language class at the high school will let you go to level II in college.

Q: okk...so i'm a Christian and i know the Bible says not to like go out with the same sex..and stuff but i like another girl and i don't know how this happened!!!! Soo..I'm not a lesbian i only like one girl am I gonna go to hell or anything??

God is unchanging, he is the same God as he was back then, we have the same Word and the same power.

Actually, its completely normal for you to be daydreaming and appreciated beauty whether female or male.

As long as you don't act on those daydreams and direct your thoughts elsewhere (read a book, play a game), you'll grow out of this and move on to different things.

Q: omg i hate my parents not really they're making me do stuff i don't wanna do though like they're trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend and i don't want to do it i mean i think i might love him but i'm not sure. i mean i really care for this guy and they don't even care

You think you love him but you're not sure? In that case, the answer is no. If you loved him, you would know it and not question it.

Next, talk to your parents - ask them why they don't like your bf, they might know something that you don't - they might see something that you don't.

Don't forget, they were young once - they know what you're going through and they prolly did it with their parents.

Q: I am learning Spanish and I know the best way is to read, watch and listen.
So suggest me books to read, movies to watch, and music to listen to.
I like Manu Chao and Aventura very much.
I do not like Pedro Almodovar.
Thank you all in advanced.

Be crazy. Browse the Internet in Spanish too:
http://telemundo.yahoo.com/

Yahoo will have movies, music etc all in Spanish for you.

Q: Okay
so on a regular day
I eat a redcued fat peanutbutter and banana sandwhich , a protein shake
a peice of chicken , some green beans and corn
and an apple and some cantelope.
And I work off about 400 calories in exercise.
And I dont eat past 6 or 7.
Is an okay diet?
And also i only drink water.

Let's compare it to the food pyramid

Fruits: You need 2-3 serviings, which you hav(banana, apple cantelop)

Veggies: Green beens and corn

Meats and Beans (protein): Chicken, peanut butter, try introducing nuts (almonds, peanuts etc, eggs)
Grains: 3 oz min, 5 oz max
- You have bread. You need more, try introducing pasta, rice, oatmeal, popcorn, crackers etc.

Milk products - Hm, maybe the shake? You need some more calcium building.

Healthy wise, you're dong good. Add more meats/beans - almonds/peanuts make a great snack throughout the day, add pretzels to add another grain product (look, a homemade trailmix) and introduce more milk products.