Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
Visitors: 15409
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Razhie
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Haha, so ya. I've been really bad to myself for the past year and a half, I've gained quite a bit of weight. Just because no one has been hounding me, and my boyfriend thinks it's cute and likes it.
So anyway, I'm feeling a little dissatisfied with my body. I mean, I have a belly, and I never used to, I can't even do 5 push-ups xD.
I'm thinking I'd like to start off by losing ten pounds. Trouble is I have trouble with the whole 'diet' thing, I need a reasonable plan, otherwise I know I'll just not eat enough and be close to starving myself. How do you go about being healthy while losing weight? (link)
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Healthy ways to lose weight, eh? Good to hear. A healthy goal is about 1 or 2 pounds a week, so set a goal for 5 - 10 weeks to lose weight. That way you won't get discouraged if you don't see immediate results.
A few small lifestyle changes should help you. One, drink more water and stop drinking pop. Carbonated sugar drinks are killer. If you eat fast food, quit doing that too. When I graduated college I quit both of these things and lost 10 pounds without even trying.
Going to the gym can be boring as heck, so look for ways to increase your activity. Try walking to more locations instead of driving and using stairs instead of elevators. I personally have found dance classes to be really fun AND excellent exercise. See if you can find something enjoyable that you like to do.
Try to eat vegetables every day (I've found that useful because it means healthier meals, and developing a taste for healthy food too) and make sure you eat healthy snacks during the day as well, because that keeps your metabolism working fast.
And most of all, just use portion control. If you're out at dinner, try asking for a to-go container right off the bat to put some of your food in there for later, so you don't overeat (restaurants always give too much and it's hard not to finish the plate because it's so tasty).
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me and this guy went out about 2 months ago and we broke up. well a week later we got back together and we're going out now..whenever we talk he tells me he loves me and stuff like that...but at school he doesnt talk to me alot and doesnt sit with me and my friends at lunch. ive offered to sit with him and his friends but his friends always fill up the table before i can sit down. the first time we went out he got a girlfriend the next day..which now makes me wonder if hes using me.
so i was just wondering if yall think hes using me or not and what do you think is going on because im like at a lost right now. thanks for any help. (link)
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He doesn't sound totally into you. You can always tell if a boy doesn't really care about you if he behaves like he doesn't care.
See, words don't mean anything if they're not backed up with actions. It's easy to say he loves you, but if he did he'd be showing it.
I'd break up with him. Definitely a good idea to not date boys who make you feel bad or don't treat you the way you want to be treated. Better to date boys who treat you really well and don't confuse you.
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If someone knows something about this or have exprienced it i would appreciate any feedback as i'm beginning to get paranoid about it! for about 4-5 days now i've been experiencing a rash like scaly,peely,dry,red skin on my vagina not in my vagina just around like the lips part and around the opening of my vagina almost to my rectum. The first couple days it was just sensative but for 2 days now i've been having that scaly,peely,dry,red skin and it hurt a little when i had sex more uncomfortable than sore. No burning but have become slightly itching now at times but not extreme itching as a yeast infection or something. I don't know what it is and have been experiencing it ever since i ended my period and at first my thought was because i wore pads for about 9 days straight and i had some kind of pad rash but now i'm starting to think it might be something else. I might just be paranoid but i would like to be more safe than sorry. I've been in a 5 years relationship so i don't think it's an STD unless he has been unfaithful which i doubt but you never know. Thank you in advance for any feedback. (link)
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Okay, get thee to a doctor ASAP. I would abstain from sex until you know what it is. If it's making sex painful, that is your body sending you a signal to stop having sex at this time.
Do not use soap on your labia (You should never use soap; only water. The vagina is self-cleaning, like your eyes) because that will only make it worse by drying you out.
It may be an STD, or perhaps you just have developed a skin condition. You may have irritated your skin somehow and require something to heal from the doctor. Waste no time, make an appointment.
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18, female!
well i've been on birth control for two years now, to regulate my periods. i'm still a virgin. i went to the doctor today to talk to her about my birth control, and different options. i was on the ortho tri cyclen lo but she suggested that i went on something else because i had a problem with the ortho tri cylcen. well we talked ,and she decided to put me on yasmin. she said she has been on it for 5 years now and absolutely loves it. i talked to her about having sex, and how i am going to want to in the near future and if this will help prevent pregnancy and she said yes, as long as i use a condom too! has anyone else been taking yasmin? i would like to know if you like it, if it has been effective,etc. also the pharmascist gave me the generic called oscella. its like $25 cheaper but i told my mom i want the name brand one because i hear the generics were not as good, and i read ALOT of reviews of people who did not like oscella and my mom freaked out on me because the pharmascist said it was the same. But i am still going to be taking the Yasmin. any information would be helpful, i did look online and it did say it was used to help prevent pregnancy but i would like to know other people's experiences! (link)
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You should stick to the brand your doctor has recommended to you. Each brand is a little bit different and your pharmacist should have directed you to another pharmacy if he was out.
BC pills are effective about 99% of the time if you use them exactly right. What makes them good or bad for you individually are the side effects. Some have weight gain, others have breast increase, others lose their sex drive, others have bad periods, others clear up skin, others make cramps better... and so forth.
The only way to know if a brand will work for you and your individual body chemistry is to try it out. But as far as preventing pregnancy, you should be fine. Wearing a condom is a smart idea regardless because BC pills don't protect against STDs and also it's added protection against pregnancy.
I would calmly suggest to your mother that you want to take the pills back for a refund, and get your prescription filled at another pharmacy. If she can't or the pharmacy won't allow it, try this brand for this month and go to a different pharmacy next month to get Yasmin. If you're really, really nervous about taking these pills, take the month off from pills, don't have sex, and wait till you've been on Yasmin for a full month before having sex.
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i have a bent penis and im a teenger and im shy about "showing" it to a girl...will my bent penis affect us during sex?? wil she laugh at it?? help!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Generally girls and women don't laugh at penises. But a bent penis can be painful for a woman during sex. Go see your doctor and explain what's going on. You may be able to fix it. Bent penises aren't uncommon, so don't be ashamed.
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sometimes when we're making out he'll pick me up off the couch and put me on his lap and i was just kinda wondering is he getting hard? do all guys get boners? how will i know if hes getting one? thanks (link)
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Yes, all guys get erections. It's the natural conclusion to becoming sexually aroused, because only a hard penis can have intercourse. If you're making out, no doubt he is getting hard because his body is getting ready to have sex. If you're not ready to have sex, don't move beyond making out.
You'll know your boyfriend is having an erection if you feel a heat when you're sitting on him. Or perhaps you'll notice some pressure. Or you could ask. There's nothing wrong with talking about this stuff with your boyfriend. It's good for communication if you can talk openly.
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Ok, so not too sure if this is under the sex category? But never mind!
Yesterday my boyfriend asked me to wear a skirt for him, so like, say hes talking to his friend and is facing me (their back turned so theyre not facing towards me) I spread my legs and he looks down and sees my .... uh, yeh! ;) and hes smiling and nodding away at his friend and only me and him know whats goin on. Aha.
So its like a little naughty, a little sexy and secretive and he gets off on it sort of thing...
but I was wondering... what other sexy, maybe sort of secretive things like this could I do for him?
Thanks in advance!
xxxx (link)
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This isn't what you're looking for, but I would recommend not doing things like this at all. It will make you seem cheap and if/when you break up, he'll probably tell everyone what you did and make you sound like a slut. Guys who are immature enough to ask for such a thing are immature enough to spread the news about it to make you look bad.
Who you are should be enough to make him attracted to you. If he asks you to do these things (which sacrifice your self respect) he can't care about you that much. When you're in love you don't want to put the person you love in a compromising position like that where you're taking a risk and he's reaping all the benefits.
What about what he can do for you to make you happy? What about your needs and your happiness? What he doing that's so wonderful?
This is important because it's a terrible thing to learn the hard way: Men who try to get you to behave like some kind of porn star (instead of a person with feelings and dignity) don't really love you. They just love what they can get you to do for them.
Don't you realize? If you had been caught, people would be talking bad about you, not him. There's a saying about being a lady in public, and a whore in the bedroom. Don't cross those boundaries if you want to be able to respect yourself as you get older, and have men's respect (and love) in return.
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Knowlegable answers only please. Is Male Belly dancing pretty accepted by fathers over there? Or do they think it is too girly? Thank you. (link)
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I'm a belly dancer in Canada. What I know about the dance is that it is for women, by women. Men are not even involved in any way. There are some modern men now belly dance, though they are in the minority of all belly dancers, but the movements are actually those which celebrates women's fertility and strengthen the muscles needed to give birth.
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I am trying to decide what i want to be be (i am a senior in a high school, and i will be going to college next year).
I am a girl, and i am looking for a job (i think) related to social work. i love kids, and i love helping people. I am looking for a generally high paying job (I don't mean to sound stuck up). I'm thinking something like an adoption agent.
ALSO...do you know what the school/ degree requirements are for an adoption agent, or a social worker (or any other carreer suggestions you may have.)
THANKS SO MUCH! (link)
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In addition to the last answer, social work is a low-pay job. It's not something you do because it's well paid, it's something you do because it's your calling. If money is very important to you, I'd suggest another line of work.
My mother was a social worker. She did a lot of good... and didn't have much money.
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18 years old.
i've been on birth control for about two years now. i'm on ortho tri cyclen lo. well i've never had problems with my period since i've been on this. i got my period when i was suppose to and i had no spotting inbetween. well just a couple days ago i had a little brown disharge on my underwear and i didn't think anything of it really and then it got worse and worse and it was like i had my period. but i just had it not even two weeks ago? it's like red, but not that heavy but still like i have to wear a tampon. this has been going on for three days or so now. i don't know why this would happen? i got really horny last weekend and i usually dont and i'm not sexually active but i highly doubt getting horny would cause this to happen. i haven't missed a day or anything. does anyone know why this would happen or any possible causes? i am clueless, it came out of the blue! thanks (link)
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Definitely make an appointment with your doctor. When weird things like this happen to your body, it's your body's way of telling you something needs to be investigated.
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I'm 16/f and my parents have finally had it with each other. My father drinks too much, he hides most of the money so he can go purchase more beer and now the house that we live in is going under forclosure. My mom, my older sister and I are moving into an apartment... and my dad just doesn't want anything to do with us anymore. I've lived in this house for years and I don't want to leave, it's my home. How do I get through this?
Matter (link)
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When I was living with my dad when I was 16 (my mom had just died) he was an alcoholic. I got through it by focusing on going to college and by taking it one day at a time.
I found a program in a city that forced me to leave home and whenever I got depressed about my living situation I reminded myself it was temporary and that I was leaving.
Get a part-time job to save money for college (Which will take your mind off your home life). Also, see if there is some counselling available to you at your school. I wish I had done that when I was your age, because I eventually had to go when I was 23. It catches up to you. Definitely talk to someone.
Leaving your lifelong home is hard. I know. I can promise you that time will heal that wound. Your mother is very strong for removing your dad from your life. Drunk fathers who don't care make life way worse than it needs to be. She's someone else you can talk to.
Journalling is really good, as well. It gives your feelings a voice and it can be therapeutic.
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I am only 17 and have wrinkles on my face. The really noticeable wrinkles are my forehead wrinkles. It's really embarrassing to be so young with wrinkles.
I tan a lot and my mom said it was probably from that. I heard that tanning (especially excessive tanning) could cause wrinkles but I figured I wouldn't have them until I was older.
My forehead wrinkles look similar to this (only I'm a girl):
http://gattuso.org/portfolio/images/forehead.jpg
Is there anything I can do to make my forehead wrinkles go away? I know there are anti-aging wrinkle creams but I don't know if it would help since I'm so young. What is the best wrinkle cream to use?
I've seen products like Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti Wrinkle Cream, Garnier Nutritioniste Ultra-Lift Treatment, L'oreal Paris: Re-Tightening Gel & Anti-Wrinkle Cream, Loreal Revitalift, and Olay Age Defying Anti-Wrinkle Cream. There are SO many I just don't know which anti wrinkle cream is the best and if it's safe for me to use!
Advice? (link)
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There is very little you can do to make wrinkles go away. Anti-wrinkle creams are best for preventing wrinkles, rather than fixing them.
A wrinkle is severe skin damage. Usually older people get them because that level of wear and tear usually takes time. But tanning will speed up your skin's age for sure. I'm sorry, but you're stuck with these wrinkles.
Your best bet is to stop tanning immediately, in tanning beds and in the sun. Wear a moisturizer every day with SPF30 so if any sun touches your skin it won't make it worse. Olay regenerist is a good brand to try. Wear a moisturizing cream to bed. Make sure you never sleep with any makeup on at all.
Eat lots of vegetables, raw leafy greens are great for the skin. Drink plenty of water, 5-8 glasses a day to keep your skin supple and moist (dry skin ages faster.) Make sure to moisturize your face and neck after every hot shower (hot water dries out the skin).
Also, I don't know if you smoke or drink, but these things ruin your skin like no one's business. You might also want to get the odd facial once in awhile. They run about $75 and every few months would do your damaged skin some good.
If you do these things, you can stop the wrinkles from progressing and your skin, while still a little wrinkled, will be healthier and won't get any worse.
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My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time and I was in a lot of pain.. I expected losing my virginity to hurt but, this pain was incredible. He could get his dick in to a certain extent but once it was at a certain point, I want to say his dick was about 3/4 in, he'd try to go further and the pain was excruciating. I don't know what is wrong.. What is my problem? What is holding back from him going further? (I already popped my cherry at an earlier date.) Is it as far as he can go and I am just trying to push it further? I really don't think it's as far as he can go. I am really confused. The pain was so bad, I would literally push him off of me cause he'd go too deep. Will it get better? I am so lost.. (link)
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You may still have some of your hymen left, despite saying you "popped your cherry" at an earlier time. Also, you may not have been aroused enough to have sex. If you were tense, that may also have contributed to the pain. Taking some deep, relaxing breaths should help. Also, make sure your boyfriend understands to go slow and gently so he doesn't hurt you too much. If he's just trying to ram it in there, you're going to be in pain.
Also, try lubricant. Have your boyfriend put some lubricant on his condom before entering. That may ease entry. You can buy it at any drugstore where the condoms are.
Finally, it can take a little time to get comfortable with sex. It's new and your body will take time to get used to it.
Next time you start, have your boyfriend begin by giving you a relaxing massage, and make sure you're feeling aroused before he goes in. Let him know what you need. It will likely still be uncomfortable this next time as well, but hopefully these things will make it less painful.
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Warning: This is a very personal and sensitive subject.
I have a question for the ladies out there, or male doctors hahaha
I am not supposed to use soap on the inside of my vagina when I clean it. It is kind of an alergy maybe. My doctor told me this when I was very young. It just makes me a little itchy. I stop using it and I am fine, but here is the deal...It doesn't get as sweet smelling as I would like it to. You know like if you wash your under arm with just water, it will smell natural, but not as fresh and sweet as if you were to use soap, and of course all the more sweet if you were to add deoderant. So what I would like to know is what you all use to clean with, besides water and vinegar (cause I know about that one) that will make it smell sweet. Or perhaps there is an oil that I can use after I clean it with water? I used summer's eve but I am a little sensitive to that too. Thank you for your input. (link)
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Every woman has a natural scent and no two women are the same. It's part of the attraction process too, for men to find a woman's scent alluring. You're messing with the system when you try to alter the smell.
You also run the risk of disturbing your vagina's PH balance and developing vaginal dryness or irritation or infection.
Your best bet is to wash with water regularly, eat healthy foods (nutritious foods, particularly fruits and veggies assist in an all around healthier scent) and to get accustomed to your body.
I doubt you have an allergy. You're just not supposed to put soaps or disinfectants or vinegar in your vagina. Vaginas aren't supposed to smell sweet. Penises go in there, blood and babies come out. They mean business, man.
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I invited my boyfriend(20years old) to come with me and my family on vacation to my grandparents house in the U.S for thanksgiving shopping. Now hes saying that he wont be able to come because he doesn't have enough money and if he leaves for 4 days his job will fire him before Christmas. Am i wrong to be upset about this? cause i really wanted him to come (link)
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It's not wrong to be disappointed, but it is wrong to be upset with him. See the difference? You don't want your boyfriend to lose his job before Christmas, do you? That'd be a lot of stress on him.
Keep your feelings about this private and let him know that while you'll miss him, you understand he has to keep his job and you respect that.
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Kendrea, I am in love with a wonderful guy named L. But I have a boyfriend named A. I knew I was in love with L before I dated A, but I didn't know that L would actually grow to love me back. He finally did when I started dating A. I have never loved A at all in a romantic way, but a very close bond like friends. The love I feel for L is incredible, we have so much in common yet so much difference. I used to love A in a romantic way but it changed over the past year or so and went back to just friendly love. I could live without A, but I cannot truly live and be happy without L in my life. I am A's world, and I don't have enough courage to break up with him and tell him I'm in love with someone else. Please help me. I'm unsure as what to do. If I want to be truly happy, I know I have to rid of my boyfriend A but I'm so afraid of hurting him like all his ex's did. (link)
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Look at it this way, are you going to marry him to avoid hurting his feelings? Spend the rest of your life with him to make sure he doesn't get hurt? Doom him to a life where his girlfriend never loves him the way he loves her?
Would you want to be so in love with your boyfriend and stay with him if he were in love with another girl and was only with you out of pity?
Try using that logic to end things. Tell him you have realized your love for him is as a friend and always has been, you just didn't know it at first. Tell him because of that you don't want to date anymore and you'll know he'll find someone else. Don't let the breakup take longer than 20 minutes and don't tell him about the other guy.
Let him know you think it's best to not be friends right now or in each other's life so you can both move on.
Give it a grace period of a month to re-adjust to not being A's girlfriend and then date L-- slowly and privately.
Make sure to fight the temptation to be A's friend while he gets over you. So long as you're active in his life he never will and then he'll be unhappy, which is not what you want.
I've had to break up with a man I felt a loving friendship for. It's hard but you can do it. Keep it simple and don't hold him or comfort him physically. It'll have to happen in one shot, coming off like a bandaid.
Love sometimes (often) hurts. No one can ever avoid it. And most relationships aren't meant forever. You're not doing anything wrong. Good luck.
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18 yrs old. all i've done is kissed four guys, made out with two and that was two years ago! i really like this guy, we've been hanging out and been friends for three years now! i'm really comfortable with him but he wants to become "sexual" well not really sex but he always wants to finger me. he tries to go down my pants constantly, and up my shirt. it's not that i don't want him to, i just feel, weird? having him do it. like i'll let him go down my pants, and he can feel my vagina but i won't actually let him get to the point of him fingering me or anything like that. and when he tries to go up my shirt, he rubs my boobs i dont really care but i think it would be weird having him touch my nipples. he rubs and smacks my butt through my pants, i dont care. why is it that i am scared to have him go further? i feel like i'm uncomfortable with my body and when he touches me i get so wet, it's embarassing and i feel like if he fingers me he will find out and be like woah! has this happened to anyone else? how can i overcome this. thank you! (link)
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I think this guy is trying to be friends with benefits with you, which is when he gets to have sex with you and date other people. Perhaps part of why you're nervous is because you don't know how you feel about him or how he feels about you.
Also, as far as your body is concerned, if you're getting wet, that means you're sexually aroused. And if he discovers that he is not going to freak out. The goal of fingering a woman is to get her wet/sexually aroused.
Try to focus on the physical feelings and determine if you actually enjoy it or not. See what happens. It's normal to be nervous about what's happening to your body. Since you're a virgin, this is kind of new territory for you.
If you like what's happening, pay attention to what feels good and allow yourself to get wet. He's probably going to love it and it's exactly what should be happening if you're being stimulated. You don't want to overcome the wetness, but the discomfort.
Hopefully realizing that you're normal and a sexual being with a natural sexual response will help you get over your uneasiness.
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ive been dating my amazing boyfriend for 3 months and recently hes been starting to kiss my neck...does this mean anything?
thanks 16/f (link)
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It means he's trying to make you feel good. Focus on how it feels and if you like it or not.
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Is 33-28-38 a good proportion to have on a five foot seven body? Those are my proportions and I want to know if that's really thin, or if it can look okay. Advice appreciated! (link)
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It doesn't sound overly skinny, but certainly you must be a very slim woman. If you're a teenager, odds are you'll fill out a bit more in your 20s. If you're past your teen years, you'll fill out more as you age and your metabolism slows down a bit.
Calculating your BMI would likely give you a better idea, though, if you're in a healthy range or not. There are all kinds of BMI calculators on the internet. Or you could talk to your doctor.
But a 28-inch waist on someone who's a bit taller than average (you) is not too thin.
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i'm a sixteen year old girl and i think i might be a lesbian, but i'm really confused and when a guy friend of mine asked me out a few days ago i just said yes because i'm so confused and i guess i was flattered but i'm really not attracted to him. i don't want to hurt his feelings or freak him out and i'm just so lost. what should i do? (link)
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The sooner you end it the better. You don't need to come out to him if you don't want to. He doesn't need to know why you don't want to go out with him, only that you don't want to period.
Just tell him you made a mistake, that you felt caught off guard and you didn't want to hurt his feelings. Tell him you're sorry but you don't want to go out with him. If he asks why, tell him you only like him as a friend.
Keep it short. And don't put it off. The longer this goes on, the more hurt he'll be once it does end.
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