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why do i feel so uncomfortable about this..
18 yrs old. all i've done is kissed four guys, made out with two and that was two years ago! i really like this guy, we've been hanging out and been friends for three years now! i'm really comfortable with him but he wants to become "sexual" well not really sex but he always wants to finger me. he tries to go down my pants constantly, and up my shirt. it's not that i don't want him to, i just feel, weird? having him do it. like i'll let him go down my pants, and he can feel my vagina but i won't actually let him get to the point of him fingering me or anything like that. and when he tries to go up my shirt, he rubs my boobs i dont really care but i think it would be weird having him touch my nipples. he rubs and smacks my butt through my pants, i dont care. why is it that i am scared to have him go further? i feel like i'm uncomfortable with my body and when he touches me i get so wet, it's embarassing and i feel like if he fingers me he will find out and be like woah! has this happened to anyone else? how can i overcome this. thank you!
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Let me start off by saying that getting wet is perfectly normal. You do not need to be self-conscious about this.
However, as far as being uncomfortable with your situation goes, there is nothing wrong with the way that you are feeling. If a person feels unsure of their circumstances, that is not a feeling that they should try to get over/change. You need to follow your gut.
Feeling strange about being friends with benefits makes sense. You are giving of yourself to somebody who is not fully committed to you. It may be fun to do sexual things, but without the security of a relationship, it can be scary.
No matter how well you know the guy, if he is not 100% committed to you, you will probably feel insecure. Even if he is a good friend of yours, it will be difficult to trust him completely without him earning that trust through a relationship. Since trust should be earned, he is not going about this in the right way.
In other words, if it feels weird, don't do it.
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I think this guy is trying to be friends with benefits with you, which is when he gets to have sex with you and date other people. Perhaps part of why you're nervous is because you don't know how you feel about him or how he feels about you.
Also, as far as your body is concerned, if you're getting wet, that means you're sexually aroused. And if he discovers that he is not going to freak out. The goal of fingering a woman is to get her wet/sexually aroused.
Try to focus on the physical feelings and determine if you actually enjoy it or not. See what happens. It's normal to be nervous about what's happening to your body. Since you're a virgin, this is kind of new territory for you.
If you like what's happening, pay attention to what feels good and allow yourself to get wet. He's probably going to love it and it's exactly what should be happening if you're being stimulated. You don't want to overcome the wetness, but the discomfort.
Hopefully realizing that you're normal and a sexual being with a natural sexual response will help you get over your uneasiness.
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ima dude, i do the same with my gf, her first reaction was about the same as yours, but i realized she was wet and i liked it. Maybe when ur bf realizes ur getting wet, he'll like it. Thats what i did.
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