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January 9, 2005Answers:
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Hello, my name is Sarah and I'm a sophmore in highschool. I've been through many exhausting and depressing trials with friendship and drama and know my fair share of heartbreak. If you have a problem I'll be here to answer so don't be hesitant. :]advice
ok.. so i totally screwed up talking to this guy i liked at skool... see im fine when i talk to guys but i get tooooo shy when i like them. so the plan didnt go so well to tell him that i like him.. and now i feel so embarassed because i was soo shy and im all mad at myself and stuff... soo tomorrow i was debating on weather or not i should go to school and i want to but i dont kno wut i would do or say so if i do go to skool and run into him what do i do or say? or should i not even go to skool? pLEASe HelP!! i rate high!
Go to school, you have to confront him sooner or later anyway, so.. why not sooner, than later. As for running into him things will run their course, let him do the talking for the moment unless you have something to say.. I know that was sort of vague advice, but I think you'll have the most success with it. If you need anymore help look down at my link. :)
!Sarah
you've helped a little bit. but one problem... i'm soooooo NOT popular.
-you know who... i think!
I think I do know who it is. But that's really not what I want to do. It's sort of intruding on the whole anonymous thing that is so great about advicenators.. But anyway.. please don't be modest, if you are who I think you are, yes.. you are in the eyes of your peers in fact popular.. if that's not who you want to be look down at the simple suggestions I put on your last post.
and this is a quote from what I think was your last post..
But ifi change i may loose friends/popularity/boyfriends/etc
hate to burst your bubble.. but popularity is right there in the middle..
~Sarah
ok, well, i'm not sure if you're into religion or not, so you may laugh, but w/e. ok, well at my church we're learning a lot of stuff about the sins that people commit. and i seem to commit a lot of them that don't really seem that bad. i mean, i'm not talking about sex or anything, but one of the words for us one week was 'lust'. it means like wanting to go out with someone because of their physical attraction. i mean, what if i feel that and i think i like them. it's kind of confusing but i hope you get it. this is a toughy, so i don't blame you for not answering, but are these things bad enough for like hell, i just don't know a lot ABOUT religion, i guess i just wanna do the right thing within reason. i hope you understand, thanks.
well, I'm not a REALLY religous person but I can see how that would sorta make you feel uneasy. It's human at this age to feel that way about someone just because of how they look, as superficial as it is. In my opinion, if you really want to rid yourself of the sin, get to know the person and you will probably find out quickly if you like them for more than their looks or not. That way it's not just lust, it's more like a better reason to like someone. I don't believe that is a sin, if you want more about religion my friend tickledpink probably knows a lot more about that stuff than me.. she's one of those full out christian peoples.. she down by my favorite colomnist. Hope I helped a little to clear up the fog, if you've got anymore questions I always do my best. :)
~Sarah
Well..everyone is telling me how much i've really changed. But there's alot going on and i didnt relize it. Most of my friends are alot worse then me.. Sexual wise. But ifi change i may loose friends/popularity/boyfriends/etc. i really want to change but i dont want to take the risk of loosing everything. i know if i change back to my normal self where i didnt care what people thought..or how skinny i was. Everything will change. But i dont know how to go back.., Please help if you can. Thanks.
One problem I read in all of this is that you seem to care about being popular and the center of attention, and as that's ok, peer pressure shouldn't effect how you act or make you self-concious. I mean, what's it worth if you have friends that aren't REALLY your friends for who you REALLY are. Do they really have your back? Will they really be there for you when you need them. I understand you could be concerned about losing friends, and yes.. maybe losing the infatuation of the other sex, but at a certain level of maturity you realize that it's all really overrated.. No one REALLY needs to be completed by someone else..
If you really want to go back you should start thinking about the people you probably left in your blazed trail to the popularity you gained.. they are probably your real friends. Be proud of your morals, show how you feel.. if you let people push you around you only get pushed into things you don't want want to do, because it obviously isn't you to do things like your friends are and thats very admirable of you. And also, maybe you should start to consider what people are saying about you? Do you wear tight clothes, shirts. Do you think it would kill you to wear some normal clothes.. like, a long sleeve t-shirt, some baggy khaki's? It doesn't have to be overboard, black, dark clothing that would make you seem more normal and help you go back to what people want you to be. I mean, just being more understanding or nice might help. Inside of everyone is usually at least a little good and if you look hard enough usually you find it. Tell me if I've helped you, I want to help more if I can.
i have this firewall thingy and now it wont let me on aim and it keeps connecting.. vertifying name and password and then it will say connection lost when the connection isnt realli lost
THE FIREWALL MUST DIE! eeek.. yes, you have to get rid of it to use aim, it sucks seriously.. but there are some settings I think you can adjust to make it so that some things get through the firewall, and it'll allow you to get on aim.
I have this boyfriend, he's really nice but i never ever get to see him because he lives in a different town. Everytime i get the chance to go visit it seems like he has something else to do. He has cheated on me about 3 times already but we made up. He calls me every night and is a sweet heart. I dont noe if i should stay with him or break up. I feel so bad when i break up with him because ive done it before that i just go out with him again. what would i say? someone please help
most likely if he cheats on you once, he won't be able to stop because he got away with it. And, the fact that he got away with it three times probably gives him more confidence. If I were you.. I would end it. I mean he may be nice but using you like that is what I wouldn't call a sweetheart.
ok well i know this is weird and all, but what exactly is 'your period'. I really don't wanna look it up on the internet(you never know what the hell will come up) and my parents are divorced and i live with my dad and i'm not going to ask him (duh)... so, can you tell me or tell me where i can go to find information, becasue i was raped a while back (i've never told anyone before this) and i don't know if i'm pregnant, i mean, i just feel messed up, like i brought it onto myself, i'm tangled up in all of this shit, plz help, i've read some of your stuff and i think i can trust you.
wow ok. Here comes a big explination because it sounds like you need one.
Your period is essentially when the lining of the uterus sees that there isn't a baby to cushion and has to come out. It's different for every girl and usually every period is different, how heavy or light it is. It can last from 4 to 7 days, really it all just depends. You can get pads, or tampons at your local drug store. I think since it's your first time you should start with pads, unless you think your ready for a tampon. About 12 days after your period you ovulate and thats the time when you are the most vulnerable to pregnancy. (you wear pantyliners through this most of the time.) If you want to get some sort of clue about what your periods would be like, I know you don't like this answer but you should ask your mom, it's usually a pretty hereditary thing. You could talk to her over the phone, anyway you could is probably better than nothing.
I found a small website that might help you a little with this, it's girls that went through the same thing and answer some questions in good detail.
http://www.public.asu.edu/~bflores/
And for your other event, I can't imagine both the physical and emotional pain your feeling. But I will say this.. I watched an episode of degrassi which is ALL about when paige is raped. The best thing to do if you want to get a trial or something in order is talk to your counciler and make sure you make your decision sooner than later. If you don't then there can be less evidence and you might not have a chance of winning the case as hard and unfair as that may sound. Also know you are not to blame for anything, no matter what. If you said no, you said no.. and it's not your fault.
If you want to really find out if you're pregnant go out and try and get a pregnancy test. Know that pregnancy test are usually defective in the way that if they test negative sometimes it's positive. So take more than one if it's negative, or if it's positive.
If you have any more direct questions to ask me I will answer them to the best of my ability. I hope everything goes well for you.
always here,
~Sarah
my friend is always getting pissed at my for the littlest things like, she called my name and i didn't hear her so she ignored me. and, i wrote someone a note and she got jealous, and i didn't invite her to go on vacation with me(i didn't invite anyone) and she was mad. if i talk to someone she doesn't know she gets jealous and thinks that i'm not her friend anymore. i don't hink this is normal. i mean, it's not like she's obsessed with me. i think she's just like jealous or wants to be better than me. am i right? what should i do? she's gettin pretty annoying
Your friend is probably feeling pretty jealous of your other friends that are 'seeming' to get the attention she obviously wants. Why don't you go out and do something, just the two of you, with her. She'll probably be happy you noticed her and if you guys have been friends for long enough that she needs your friendship so badly then I think that you should have a fun time. Try not to get impatient with her, I've been there and know what it's like to feel like I'm losing my friends. Believe me it's harder than you think.
11/f ok, like i was like making out with my boyfriend, and my mom like walked in and she got like mad. so now i am so pissed at her and i won'y like talk to her or do what she tells me. i mean, like, she knows i've had sex with him like 4 times and she got like mad at me just because of like that. she is like so mean. what should i like do?
haha.. very funny.. *rolls eyes*
Okay. i have a problem with my baseball coach. I am 14 yrs old and his son is 14 also. My baseball coach beats hi son but i dont know how to tell n 1 about ....help me
Tell a counciler RIGHT AWAY. You don't want him to get hurt any more and the best way to help him is to consult an adult. They can get help for his father and for that family. Be strong, remember that you are going to help him in the long run! good luck and giv'em hell kid.
if you need any more advice I'm always here.
~Sarah
ok i have had this boyfriend for 3 months almost 4 months now. and you see everyone is like at 5 or 6th months you should have sex. but i dont want to. i mean i'm only 14. i love him alot. alot. alot. but i mean all we do now is really is talk and make out which is enough for me but i mean should i do other stuff? and everyone says that me and my boyfriend are gunna get married. we barly knew each other before we started going out and now were like best friends and always over each others houses. its great. but latly everyone is asking why we dont do stuff. hes kinda shy and i've never done anything like "that" before. sorry its soo long. but please what should i do?
Ok, you should seriously consider what could come of sex.
one of the results can even be bleeding pussing warts on that one area.. if he has that std. he could not even know. You can get pregnant as well because condoms are ALWAYS a safe bet.
you shouldn't let the peer pressure get to you because it sounds like he's respectful and mostly a good guy. 14 in my opinion is WAY too young to be doing stuff like that and you need to wait. if you two really are meant to be then you will make it to your wedding night to share something special like that.
good luck and giv'em hell kid.
if you need ANY more advice.. I'm always around.
~Sarah
13/f. My mom is always telling me how I'm too young to go tanning and get my nails done. I dont think so at all!!! She said I can when I'm 16. She also said that I'm too young to be looking for guys and It gets on my nerves. Please dont say talk to her because we always fight about everything. She thinks all my friends with backstabb me in a couple of years and how they arent my true friends. When 2 of my friends were over we were just having fun and we were hyper and I got in trouble and she hates my friends. She always has something againts then or me. My mom gets on my nerves soo much its not even funny!!! What do I do? I dont think I'm too young and noo way and I wating until I'm 16. 13 should be the most fun now that I'm still a young teenager! Help!! I'm going insane. My mom also wont let me spend the night at any of my friends house! Its sooooo gay!!
if I had a knife.. I'd stab you.
one, did you know that 12 year olds are getting pregnant now a days? Your mom is scared for you and as a parent I would be scared too.
a tan first off looks completely sick and wrong on people that don't have it naturally done, you know actually.. GOING OUTSIDE..
two, why are you trying to grow up so fast anyway? You've got so much time, I mean seriously.. you can like guys and shit but please you don't need to be having "fun" or crap like that.
three, DON'T SAY THAT SOMETHING IS GAY, it does not have a forking sexual preference.. and I AM VERY SICK OF TELLING YOU ALL.. geezus.. *deep breaths*
lastly, you shouldn't be able to go out with someone until you can drive, because until then.. you AREN'T GOING OUT.. e_e you people disqust me.
ok i saw hitch today and it made me think even more of him! i just can't stop thinking of him. its driving me insane too. what should i do... i mean i really like him but im shy, i think hes shy too but i mean is it crazy that i think of him like evey second?
PLZ HELP! i rate high
*me
it's not crazy, and trick to get something off your mind is to try and focus on something else.. I usually try and write out what I'm thinking and it's like I'm pouring it out of my head and onto the paper.. it helps because I start thinking of other things like school or soccer or what have you. And besides, it's not such a bad thing to be thinking about a guy all the time.. just means it's puppy love.. :P
hope I helped, if you need anymore help I'm always around.
~Sarah
The most popular girl in school (i was O.K friends with her) moved to Arizona (i'm in Virginia) and I am happY! SOOO HAPPY! Cause i like being the center of attention. All my bestfriends are sad though, because they liked her! I didn't really though! Is it wrong to be glad???? Cause I feel really bad.
NO! it is not wrong to be happy if someone you hate is gone.. but I think it's a little stuck up to want to be the center of attention.. but that's just me because I'm a reserved person.. but anyway. Be nice with your friends and don't show your happy too much, it's sorta rude to your other friends who did like her.
ok ive been wit this guy for 3 1/2 months......i kno im to young to love someone but i seriously would be in a state of deppression without him......anyway ive been really mean to him lately like startin fights wit him for no apparent reason..and being sarcastic just to get him pissed..........lASt week i broke up wit him 3 times and we got back together but im so obsessed with him but i cant stop treating him this way.......it might be just because of my perod (i hope so) but im so mean and i dont want to lose him......how can i try to stop acting this way
plz help me
one word. Midol
ok, so i broke up with my boyfriend last year, but i think i still like him. the only thing is he likes my best friend, should i get him back, and how, or let go? my best friend doesn't like him.
I think you should tell him how you feel at least, and leave it up to him if he still has a bit of feeling left because without both of you feeling the same way, the relationship will never work. If he just doesn't want to anymore then you gotta let go, sorry but that's the cold hard truth.
well, i have been friends with this girl named bria for about like 5 years now. but now that we are in 9th grade she is gettting kinda anoying. like she will just walk up to me in the hall and be like "are you still my best friend?" and stuff like that. it is kinda embarressing. she isnt like "popular" and i am. she is also like giving me lectures about what i should wear and what i shouldnt. like one day i was wearing a trucker hat and she came up to me and riped it off my head...infront of everyone. what should i do...should i tell her how i feel or not...b/c i know if i tell her how i really feel she will be x-treamly pissed off or something like that. I NEED HELP!!!!
i rate high to!!!!
-steph
ok first.. the whole "o, I'm popular and too cool for my friend thing." sounds really really bitchy and superficial. I know I have lost SO many friends because I wasn't cool enough and you have no idea how much that can hurt someone. And the trucker hat thing.. dude, preps ruined it. Seriously... just like they are ruining converse.. -_-
but anyway, you've been her friend for five years.. FIVE YEARS.. are you really ok with dropping it because she is concerned about your friendship, and is afraid of losing you? Console her that you are still her friend, like, go to the mall with her, go do something because I'm sure that if you guys have made it this long then she won't be much different. You should tell her how you feel if you still feel that way after because she obviously cares and it would probably crush her if you decided that she wasn't good enough to be your friend anymore.
my parents are divorced and it seems that all my friends have a very happy family. i cant help but feel theres something wrong with me...why cant i have a perfect family and perfect life like everyone else? what have i done wrong!??!
no one has a perfect life. Everyone has problems and issues and MILLIONS upon millions of kids have parents that are divorced.. And your parents divorce doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, it's between your parents. Don't worry things'll turn up. It always has to get worse before it get's better. :)
always here
~Sarah
ok my friend is really mad at me because we joke around and she took a joke personly so her mom called my mom and her mom told my mom wat i said.now im really in a bad situation /wat shud i do???should i joke around anymore???
sincerly,
xxmystary-girlxx
ok.. look at what joking got you into.. think, before you speak. it's very simple. don't joke about anything that would offend someone because you don't know how sensitive they are.
Okay my friend likes this guy, but they broke up and he doesnt lik eher at all..so she had a new boyfriend...and i started to like her ex so i told her so she wouldnt be mad at me..but she got mad and we are in a fight now...and then she broke up with her new boyfriend cause i like her ex.. and ithink shes gonna try and get her ex back so i dont have a chance but im not sure...i dont know what to do cause i was only trying to be a good friend by telling her that so she wouldnt have to find out if i like dated him
your friend most likely is still having feelings about her old boyfriend. She's being extremely selfish if you ask me, considering they broke up and she had a completely new boyfriend. You were right in telling her before though because if you hadn't there probably would have been even more problems. Tell her that she can have her space, and tell her that you like him, and ask her what rules she wants for this.. if you establish them then it can't happen again, with you on the other side.