teza's advice column | Page 75

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

St.Louis, MO

Occupation:

Student

Age:

21

Member Since:

January 26, 2005

Answers:

5742

Last Update:

May 1, 2014

Visitors:

553725

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

General Sex Questions

Fashion and Styles

about

My name is Teza.. short for Tereza. I was born in Croatia and I speak more than one language. I'm 22 years old & I completed 2 college degrees in 3 years. My a bachelors is in Business Administration concentration in Human Resources and my Masters degree is also in HR.

I started this advice column about 9years ago and I was so young but it was something that I always loved to do. I am trying to get back to answering questions, at least a few per day. With that said, if you have questions about school, friends, make up, etc., feel free to ask.

Much love, Teza

advice

Hi, my name is courtney. I'm thirteen years old. Here's the thing, my boyfriend used to like my friend (when we weren't going out). She has a boyfriend, but she is really flirty. I don't like him talking to her because I'm afraid she's going to be such a flirt, that he starts liking her again. I want to tell him that i don't like him talking to her, but I don't want to be a control-freak and have him dump me for that. I also don't want to tell her to stop talking to him because then she'll be like WTF?! I get so mad sometimes that he thinks that I'm mad at him.. I guess maybe because I'm jelous or something.. but I'm not. I have NO idea what to do!!

I know you think that you're not jelous, but you are. It's normal in a relationship but you have to learn how to trust him and her. First, you need to have a talk with him. Just let him know how you feel about it and don't say it in a controling way or anything, but just let him know that you're concearned. If he really likes you, he wouldn't cheat on you or anything. Flirting is defenetlly normal. I know it makes a lot of people jelous and crazy, but you can't stop someone from flirting. People don't even realize that they're doing it and it's completely normal. Just talk to him and see what he has to say but don't worry about anything and I don't think he would leave you for her. =)

i have a really stupid question bhutt here it goes do u think getting fingerd feels better, or do you think that gettin eating out feels betta on ur vagina?

That's one of the things that you just have to see for yourself.

Hey. I am a girl. So my story is about this boy in my class. He's new this year. He's made fun of by all the boys & even some of the girls. He is preety annoying & he cant say shut up without smiling. I try to be nice to him & put myself into his shoes & wonder how i would feel but everytime I try to be nice everyone thinks im wierd to stand up for him or it just doesnt work out because hes too annyong at times. I don't know what I should do? Is there anything that could make people like him more?

People judge others without getting to know them first and you can't change their minds. They feel a certain way about him for a reason, and if they don't want to change that, no one can make them. Just because he's annoying doesn't mean he's not a good person. Tell some of them to talk to him instead of making fun of him. If they think you're weird for standing up to him, then just don't listen to them. Who cares about what they think anyway? You might actually be making him feel better because you're nice to him unlike the others.

Do you know how to get more AIM colors for like your profile & stuff ? Like a program to download for free ..? I`ve tried googling & found nothing.

Thanks !

if you have sex, can a doctor tell becauee your vagina is stretched?

He won't be able to tell if your vagina is streched but you can tell if the hymen is broken.

Soo my birthday is coming up soon and my friends grandma`s cat had kittens! I really want one for my birthday, but my mom keeps saying no! I`ve tried begging her and asking why. she just say no and she doesn`t want an animal around the house! can you think of any good ways of getting her to let me have it? lol thanks

Show responsibility around the house and just stop begging her. Talk to her about how you're going to take care of it, clean after it, feed, it and do whatever and make sure you stick with that. Just talk to her and don't annoy her about it. The more you ask, the more she will say no and plus, maybe she might surprise you with a kitten?

ok well like me & my 2 friends were supposed to go to ronnies tonight but didnt have a ride there..and then i was like well do uu girls still wanna do something ?? and they wont answer me.
ahh what should i do..

& what advice do you need?

ok so i started my period about a year ago and i still use pads =/ everytime i try too use tampons i can never get it to go in all the way && it hurts =(. what should i do..bc i cant stand pads any longerr!!

and plus summer is almost here.

http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/tampon.html Visit that site. It has really good information and shows pictures. They're not gross or anything, but it will defenetly help you out.

how many guys have you kissed in your whole life?

That's really none of your buisness now, is it?

whats a vibrator?

well, im going to my boyfriends house for a party on memorial day weekend like that saturday and i have no idea what to wear. like mad people are gonna be there, and i need to look good. lmao like i would like to look good, make the parentals like me. if you need to know, i got to hollister abercrombie etc etc. thanks ! ♥

Since adults are going to be there, you should dress nice & casual. If you have like a white skirt from there or any other store, that comes up to the knees or something wear it. Also, capris would look cute. Wear a cute matching top like a cami or a baby doll shirt & wear cute shoes. Do your hair & make up cute & you'll look great. Just have fun and be polite. :]

Wow, I was reading your column, and I canno't believe there are so many things people make mistakes on. My name is Conny & I'm 18 and a graduate. When I was freshman, not too long ago, we got drunk and high. Well, obviosuly being careless does have its "reward." ON accident, somebody had spilled alocohol on teh carpet. My friend Marylin' dropped her lighter and pipe on it. Everything exploded. Flames had come from out of nowhere and everybody was screaming and running for help. I was in the room, having sex with some guy I didn't even know. Flames came in the room, the whole house went on fire. Me & my "roomie" where the only ones who survived. Everybody else had sufficated from the smoke and died. ANd to only to think, "once dirnk makes the world spin." "try some weed, it'll be sooooo cooooooooolllllllll duuuuuuudeeeeeee" i never thought it would cost some of my best friends lifes, and I never thought I would get pregnant at age 15, and I never thought me & my baby are affected by AIDS. I'm losing hope & I'm going to be gone pretty soon, and to only know that my child will have the same fate kills me inside, which no tumor or disease could ever endure me to such pain. Live life to the fullest, don't be afraid to express yourself, don't go to parties where you know you'll be vonerable to drugs or alcohol. You only have one life to live, make it a life of joy, make it a life of rememberance, don't make it a life which was wasted. xXx

I'm sorry about what happened to you but you shouldn't lose hope. People make mistakes but you have to be strong for yourself and your baby. You can also live your life to the fullest. It's not over and what you did before is the past, make the future better. Thanks for telling me your story. It made me think twice =)

Let me introduce myself. I'm Veronica, i'm 5'8 & i have blonde brown hair. I'm 19 years old. Firstly, you`re adorable & you`re very inspiring for your age. Since everybody is sharing their stories, I've decided to share mine too. I was 15 when it happened. It was this dance thing at school & I with the so called "popular" group after the dance were going to get drunk & other stuff. I went over to Alexandra's house, because her mom never cared about anything, her mom was a hooker on the corner. Pretty desperate now that I think about it. So, the big night. Here we are, the freshman dance was over. We went over Alexandra's house. Her mom, brought us alcohol, meth, weed, blotter, microdot, white lightning, killer-weed, acid, etc all the "good" stuff which we did pay for. She even brough us condoms. Yes, condoms. As more and more people came the party supposebly got "sexually intenser." I was high, and my crush was there. He & I went into a room, and did the worst, nastiest things we could think of. I had 15 beers, and 13 shots. After our "sex" journey, we all went home. I couldn't find my house, and i fell asleep on the street. Tomorrow morning, I suffered the consequences. I woke up and I was late for my period. 3 weeks later, i took a pregnancy test. It was positive.I told my mom what happened and she took me to a doctor. I worst the worse news of my life. I was HIV AND Herpes positive. Not only that I was pregnant. After carring the child for 9 months, I had a misscariage, and that evening my "crush" had died in a car accident. My life is a living hell. I've been living with HIV and Herpes for over 5 years now. I realized me lesson way to late. My life is ruined, I'm so weak I live with my parents. People everywhere talk about how "good" i was, and now, look at me, i'm nothing but a bum in my parents home. Pretty Pathetic. Whatever you do, you DON'T have to drink and smoke weed at parties, be safe. Dance. Tell stories. Share experiences. Make out...ONLY...play truth or dare. You're still kids, and if the supposebly "popular" group is mature, think again. They`re the most IMMATURE. We act before we think, we think were cool. Most of the "popular" people in my old school, have been killed in a car accident, murdered on the street, have diseases.....it's not a good life, enjoy your years, you only get to live once. xo

I'm so glad that you shared this story with me. It seems like things like that only happen in movies and that it wouldn't really happen in reality, but I'm wrong about that. I know it's real but I guess I don't want to belive that it could happen to me or my friends. You've made a mistake and you can't take that back, but it's not the end of the world. You're not a bum and you're not a horrible person. While we're young, I know we tend to get out of hand at parties because all we care about is having fun. I never cared about what would happen to me because I don't ever think about the future in that way but I am careful. The only thing that scares me is I know that some of my friends no are going to ruin their lives by their actions now. There is nothing I can do to stop them from doing the things they do but no matter what they're my friends. I'm not following their footsteps and doing what they do because I don't push my limits. Again, I'm really glad you wrote this. I hope that everyone who reads my column, reads this because it's really important and they need to take your advice. I sure will. Thanks so much & I hope everything works out great for you in the future.

Well, since everybody is sharing their stories I've decided to share mine too. I want to get out the message to girls to stop being bitchy to other girls. I'm a graduate of college, and my so called "perfect" life is living hell to me. When I was in 8th grade, I was, well overly conceieted and bitchy. One day, I told a girl who wore the "out" stuff that she was gay & lame dresser. Also, I always used to be sarcastic with her, and I would make and talk behind her back 24/7.I was the skinny, (so called perfect bitch today), supposebly sexy and high-maintance girl, with the supposebly "perfect" everything. I was a rich bitch, and I made fun of alot of girls. One day I took it to far. I told a girl that she is one of the ugliest things in the universe, that I'm glad her life is bad, and that she should die. What did I find out the next day? She took a rope and hung herself with a sign taped to her: "I want to be beautiful." I'm not the only one that made fun of her, and I wasn't the first. She had been innoccent, and we stripped her of all her rights as a human being. When I heard the news, I went to her parents and apoligized. They told me she always would talk about how pretty I am, and how she wanted one word to tell her that would make her feel special. A simple: "Your shirts cute." Or something. I broke down. I can't believe a girl that looked up to me, I controlled and bossed around. As a part of my apology, I paid for her whole funeral, and about 700 people came. Every one with a soul was mourning a beautiful girl who had once lived. Beautiful she was, with long silky brown hair, eyes do die for, and I guess just because she had a few things about her that contradicted her appearence, we made fun of her. I remember her, she was about 5'11, eyes that were such a dark blue, that would captivate any soul. Hair that flopped and was puffy at points but when you looked at her deeply you saw true beauty. Every Saturday I go to her grave, and lay 18 roses. (18 was her age.) I've been going to therapy for a while now. Girls - don't be mean to anybody,please, don't end up like me. You hurt somebody deeply, you know the phrase: "Sticks and bones hurt me, but words don't." It's wrong. Sticks and bones might hurt you....but words are ingraven in one's mind forever. I hope I changed the way some of you act. Please, please....if your like this change.

Actually, your story reminds me of how I kind of am today. I don't really mean to act bitchy, but it just comes out of my mouth and I can't even think before I speak. I know that I've hurt a whole bunch of feelings and right now, I feel really stupid. I shouldn't of said anything to those girls. I mean , I barely even know them but if I see something that bothers me about them, mean things just come out of my mouth. My friends don't effect the way I am and I don't get treated badly at all, so I don't know why I'm so mean to them. Thanks so much for sharing this with me. I can relate to this and it made me think differently about people. Thanks again.

well theres a guy & he is a PlAYYA ! okay well we went out before & saidd it was a joke and than said it because he didn't wanna break my heart. & i like him and stuff. and we always talk about having sex & doing stuff togetheer. he always asks me for my picture but i dont wanna give him it because i dont even know how many people are gonna send it. well there's this girl that also likes him, and than another girl. and i found out he asks one of the girls for the pictures too.. like i mean i have been friends with this kid for awhile & i always liked him and this girl doesn't even know him as much as i do. well i dont send him the picture and i just say later later but i never do it. and it gets annoying after awhile. & idk if i say no than he might not talk to me anymore. alot of ppl say hes usinn me but idont know. & one of the girls that likes him told me he likes her & says i love you to her all the time. but i don't know if he actually means it. because he says it too me and he says he means it. i dont know though. i really wana be with him but he is a aasshole alot of the times. & than i was gonna ask him out but than he was mad at me for some reason so i didn't. & plus we always talk about doing stuff but we never end up doing it anyway so its stupid. when me and him got in a fight yesterday he said he never liked me & never willl and shitt like that. like do you think its a waste of time to like him?

First of all, do you guys know each other in person since he keeps asking for your picture. You should of explain that a little more but this guy seems to be a waste of time. He is playinig you and that other girl. When he tells her he loves her, I don't think he means that. He's probablly just saying that to be sweet and for her to like him. If you can't stop liking him that's fine, but you just need to move on. If he's an asshole to you sometimes, don't even bother with him. You deserve someone better.

So my best friend and I like the same guy, she liked him first. I know that I should just forget about him but i cant, ive told myself that im just not going to talk to him or anyhting. But when I see him I smile and say hi, and they hangs out with me during my free period. What do I do, do I tell him to just go away? I should just act unintrested I guess, but its really hard.

Liking the same guy as your friend can always cause some drama. You shouldn't just forget about this guy just because your friend likes him. You can't change how you feel and you shouldn't have to. No guy should ever come between your and your friends relationship but you really need to talk to your best friend and just tell her what you told me. It's going to be hard because you both like him, but if eather one of you goes out with him, there will be some jelousy no matter what. I think you should just see what happenes and if you both like each other, try going out. She's your best friend and I know that you don't want to hurt her, but you need to do what makes you happy.

I want to tell my story. I was reading your column and I read about the girl who had that abusive boyfriend-best friend relationship thing or w/e. I really felt sorry for her but I wanted to tell you my story too, because I am now 24 years old and this happened about 4 years ago and I relive the past everyday. 4 dreadful years ago, my boyfriend came over, I always thought of him as more of a best friend then a boyfriend. My feelings toward him started changeing because we grew apart, we, excuse me, had sex like every other day before. So, it was Tuesday, and we were over my house as usual on Tuesday, and we were watching a movie and he started slowly by rubbing gentely my legs. He then as usual got closer and closer and it was eventually me on the couch leaning while he was fingering me. So, I made him stop. He got up and he MADE me sit on his penis which hurt me because I lost my virginty to him, and he was treating me like a slave after I gave him something so special to me. I told him to stop, and asked him to sit down. I took his hand, and told him that I think we would be better of as friends. He completely took it the wrong way. He slaped me, and then I was like confused of wth was going on. He ducked taped my mouth. He pulled his switch blade out and held it tightly across my neck. He TOLD me he was going to rape me and I would have to be quiet and follow his directions. I did as I was told becuase I was scared to death. He brought a CHAINSAW into the living room. He told me that he was going to have vaginal & oral & anal (anal-i always didn't want to do.) sex with me, and that he wants me to scream his name as loud as possible and that he was going to film us and put it on a website. After 8 hours of doing the most nastiest things you could think of, and being dragged in and out of the house, and having a chainsaw right there,he ducked taped me and put me into carpet which was then rolled. He made me drink from the toilet. He told me he was going to starve me so he could get more viewers on the web because supposebly the only sexy girls are anorexi. Ew. & then after 1 day, his friend came in, and saw what he did to me because my "boyfriend" whom I trusted that much and loved and cared and was wiling to be friends with him tried to murder me. He's friend took me to the hospital. The police arrested my "boyfriend aka murderer." Since then I didn't trust guys, but after 4 years I'm finally going out-with his friend that saved my life. I now have a fobia of chainsaw's. Girls - if you love your boyfriends and want to break up with them, do it over AIM, it's the safest way even though it does seem a little bit werid and bitchy because it's over the net. Whatever you do be safe, because you only get to live once, and remember to take advantage of life and run it the way you want to, not the way somebody eles wants to, and most importantly be true to yourself. I love you. XxXxX

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It defenetly made me think differently and not to trust every guy I meet. I'm sorry that you had to go through that and you didn't deserve it, but as we all know, life isn't predictable. Again, thanks so much for sharing that with me and other girls. I think it made us realize what happened to you, could also happen to us or anyone. Just keep being brave. =)

i dont wanna sound dumb or anything. but what is "dry sex"? my friend was talking about it and said it happened with someone and i didnt wanna sound dumb and ask what it was.

Dry sex is basiclly sex with clothes on. Sometimes the only clothes that might be on are the underwear or bra but it isn't anything like real sex.

ok so i was at abercrombie last weekend and i bought these flip flops http://www.abercrombiekids.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10101&catalogId=10851&parentCategoryId=12103&childCatgroupId=12103&categoryId=12171&productId=2&langId=-1 in the navy color so on monday i wore them to school and my feet get pretty swetty idk why but anyways since my feet are sweaty at the end of the school day when i went home i took them off and the bottoms of my feet were navy blue!!!!!! i tried scrubbing it of and i got most of it off but still.. everytime i wear them they turn my feet blue. and i cant return them or get a refund or w/e because i dont have a reciept or the tags or anything. so if you can please help me with my sweaty feet problem, that'd be great! thanks a lot!

I'm not really sure what to tell you but I looked for a site and I think this might help out. http://www.embarrassingproblems.com/sweating_b.htm

Ok, well, last night my "boyfriend," (who is my best friend, and we just act as girlfriend and boyfriend.), and we were playing around and he was fingering me. So we took "turns" and we were playing truth or dare together...I sucked his dick, and he just kept getting nastier. I mean, I said to him to stop, but he wouldn't. He MADE me get whipped cream out of the frige and put it on his...and suck it. Also, he was fucking me in the v, and I was telling him to stop because it was getting really rough, and it hurt. I was about to cry. At about this time I was getting really scared, and he made me get in the shower. (it's a jaccuzzi), he just wouldn't stop. He kept getting bigger and harder and harder and it hurt so bad I was about to die. He's fucking dick, it's like 12.5 inches long, and about 3 inches thick. I told him to stop again and again. He dragged me out of the shower, onto his bed, on the stairs. Then he put his DOGS LEASH on my neck. He put his dick in my mouth and told me to BEG. I didn't,so he pulled the leash tighter. So I did what i was told. He dragged me on stairs, the kitchen table, the whole house. Then he told me to get dressed and to shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of his house, and if i told anybody he would kill me by some drastic thing. By the time I got home i was crying so much I could barely breathe, and i had bruises and burns and scars on my neck. What do i do? I' so scared...i don't even go to school anymore or anywhere for the past 12 days. I'm scared to death. 16 - f - nevada

Holy crap. I seriously don't even know wthat to tell you. I think he needs some help or that he's bi polar because his mood swiched way fast. Don't listen to his threats and you should tell someone. Talk to your mom or just an adult that you trust. What he did was just harsh and he didn't even treat you like a human. He won't kill you but he deserves his consiquences. You need to tell someone because you never know if he's going to do it again.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>