jenymca's advice column

askjenymca

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Okay, I'm 15/Female if that matters and I've liked this guy for about a month. He liked me at the beginning of the school year for a long while but he never told me that because I had a boyfriend at the time. Now, I'm single and I'd like to go out with him but here's the problem .. he's been dating this girl for a month. I don't get why they're together though because everytime he wants to hug her she just pushes him off, she never wants to hold his hand, kiss him, or anything and I don't know why because they're going out .. but my question is, should I wait until him and his girlfriend break up so I can ask him out or should I go ahead and try and like some other guy or do something else?

Try and ask him, because maybe he still likes you more than this other girl. If not, then you're stuck until A.) You stop liking him. B.) He breaks up with his girlfriend.

Q: I was a cutter... im not anymore. I did it for about 2 months and finally my boyfriend got me to stop on my own. So, i made some pretty interesting designs when i cut myself... I cut in the middle of my forearm and i made shapes like hearts and stars and stuff and ive quit back in February. I wear a wristband now, but, my parents haven't found out that i used to cut myself. So, what my question is, is there a way i can get the scars to be not very visible for summer? Because i know that i will be swimming a lot and be real active... help is appreciated and im getting sick of wearing a wristband all the time...

Wear makeup. Or better yet tell your parents that you used to cut but you don't anymore, that you are all better. That way they will know and it won't be a secret anymore.

Q: My period started early today and im going shopping tomorrow!! It wouldnt be a problem or anything but i have really heavy periods and the 2nd day is always the heaviest. Tomorrow is gonna be the 2nd day! im not calling it off because i cant let my friends down and ive wanted to get some cds and stuff im buying tomorrow for ages. any suggestions, like how i can cope and what i should do?! and when i say heavy i mean really heavy as have to use night pads in the day and change them every 2 hours.

That's kinda like me! Just wear the big pad and then every two hours change. It's that easy.

Q: okay since the last person i gave head to.. i have been getting bumps in my mouth.. like one bump a day and it would go away.. and a few days later another bump would come but at another spot.. i am really scared! the bumps hurt also.. and please dont tell me to go to the doctors because i will someday but i just need help NOW ..okay thanks

It's the herpes, yeah it's the herpes!

Q: Well I have a biig problem! I like my best friend's brother. He's a year younger than me and he's reeeeally cute! I think he likes me cause everytime I'm over her house he flirts with me and gets all close to me and stuff. I want to go out with him but I'm afraid that my best friend would be sooo mad! Cause she like hates her brother and stuff and so yea. I really need some help! I rate high!

Dude, if your best friend gets mad at you for going out with her brother thats just lame. I say go for it.

Q: OK , my birthday is coming up and I really want to get my belly button pierced. But I don't know if I should because I don't want people to call me slutty and the big thing is, IM AFRAID IT WILL HURT LIKE HECK! Does it? If anyone knows , please answer my question ASAP because I need an answer quickly.

It depends on how you handle pain. I got it done and I laughed when it happened, but I went with my best friend to get it done and when she got it done she started crying. I honestly didnt even think it hurt very much. All they do is lay you down on a table, draw a dot on your bellybutton, clamp it, then take the needle and stick it through the skin. I closed my eyes, so I didn't know when he was doing it, and by the time I felt the pain he was already done, and then it was just a little sore for a day or so after (like when you bump your arm on something it's a little tender.) It's definatly not slutty, tons of people these days have it. It's adorable for the summer in a bathing suit, or when you go out to the mall or a dance or something to wear a shirt that shows it off, its great. I say go for it!

Q: Tomarrow there is a feild trip! To Canobie Lake Park!! Im afraid of going on the rides!! but i really want to! im only 4"6 would i be tall enough? [please dont make fun of me because im short ]]

Tell all the english boys you meet about the american boys back in the states.

Q: Is it possible to be in love when your 13? Im turning 14 in July but still....his mom wont let him date until like a 'year down the road" (thats what she told me) and we are both willing to wait until his mom 'allows' him to date....ive never liked somebody so much in my life! And hes not even the hottest thing in the world hes the sweetest, funniest, adorablest guy in the world....and ive NEVER felt this way about ANYBODY....i LoVe him....but still is it possible to fall in love when your 13?

I personally don't think so. The mind isn't fully developed yet, that is why. You may think you are, but you haven't experienced enough yet, you aren't mature enough.

Q: (13/f)
I was talking to this girl from my class on the phone today and I realized that she is pretty cool and I want to be friends with her. The thing is that she is not very popular and I'm afraid that if I start hanging out with her, my other friends won't want to hang with me and might diss me. Am I being shallow or stupid? And what should I do?

Just be friends with her. Maybe your other friends will realise she's pretty cool. Besides, it's just another friend you can add to your list of friends! And if you're friends don't like her, she doesn't have to be a friend you hang out with when you're with your friends. She can just be a friend that you hang out with during school.

Q: i really like this guy a lot and hes a total flirt and he alwasy touches my butt and you n no stiff like that and i usally dont care and hes always by me and stuff. does he only like being by me because i like him touch my butt or do u think he likes to hang out with me. i mean im not the cutest person out there and hes really hott i just have acne and it makes me look really bad and if i didnt have it i would look cute. but i do so i was just hoping that he didnt only like me because i let him touch my butt.

Well it sounds like he's just a guy friend that likes to sexually harass you. Some guy friends just flirt with you by doing that stuff. Maybe he does like you though, because acne doesn't make people look too terrible and practically everybody has some, so maybe it just doesn't bug him and he DOES like you.

Q: Ok, this summer my best friend and I had a fight and it ended out friendship. (it was a bitter ending, we havent spoken to eachother since) Anyways, everyday at school, she doesnt talk to me and her friend told me that she hated me. The thing is, I dont hate her back, and I wish she wouldnt hate me. I want her to know that I still care about her even though we aren't friends, and I want to see how she is doing. So I found her livejournal link and do you think i should leave a comment? What should I say?

Well then yes you should leave a comment. Maybe it will patch things up, and when you guys are both ready you'll already have cleared the way to becoming friends again.

Q: well i like this girl and she said she likes me to but she said she also likes 3 other guys at the same time but she wants 2 go out with me. should i wait until she just likes me or ask her out now?

Go out with her now if you like her because you might not get the chance to later I'd say.

Q: ok heres my problemo. im really skinny -5'4 91- and i like it but for the most part i DON'T. its just fast matabolism and im pretty active and healthy but i look anorexic and everyone thinks that. i try to eat more to gain weight but ofcourse, i don't! what can i do?
thanks

Don't worry about it-really. If you're that skinny your lucky. If you want to gain a few pounds I thought there was some foods that make you gain pounds...

Q:
well like 2 mounths ago this kid in my class said that this other kid liked me and my ass .And where friends in all (me and that kid ). Anyways im like to the kid who told me i said " your lying i know you are."But that week i stoped to think those kids might actialy like me .Because they always kick me and all (no hurting me just foolin arund ) and they through erasers at me . And in gym im always one of the first girls to be on there team .Also there was a dance and the next day a kid ( one of the kidsthat were throughin erasers at me ) said that he new a secret about me and he wont tell . How do i get to know if that kid likes me and how do i get him to lke me

thanx

Well I think you should ask them it sounds like they are flirting with you! Maybe you could get a friend to ask for you.

Q: I have to sell these gold cards for a fund raiser at my school for us to go on a trip in may... and I sold 4 today but I still have to sell 6 more in order for my whole trip to be payed for and these things are kind of hard to sell b.c. they are $10 each..but they have 142 discounts in a 90 mile radius that u can use as many times up until 10.31.05... any ideas as to where i can go to sell them?

Do you go to church? Maybe you could get your parents to take them to your work? Did your family buy any? Just some suggestions.

Q: sorry its long, i'll rate 5's

hey you guys, i have a friend that doesnt like any of my other friends. After she meets them she just judges them and tell me all the negative things that she assumes of them. I am very picky about friends so of course none of the crap she says is true cause their all carefree FUN people. Shes the only one of my friends that is boring and dull. When i try to hang out with someone else she tags along and its really bothering me. I have other people to hang out with besides her, and obviously she doesnt cause she doesnt like anyone. I try to avoid her a lot but she still finds me. I can tell she is annoyed by me but still tried to hang out with me cause she has noone else. What can i do about that? i mean i cant talk to her about it cause im too nice.

If you don't want to be her friend anymore than the obvious thing would be to start generally ignoring her when you go places, or not bringing her along. You could get another one of your friends to talk to her maybe.

Q: I'm totally in love with boyfriend. We've been togher for over 9 months. hes made me cry when i'm happy. i've made him cry when hes happy. Hes says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. i feel the same way. he also says hes lucky to have me , he stays up at night cause he can't get me out of his head , that i'm the only girl he really cares for and stuff like that. It seems to good to be true. Do u think hes telling me the truth? He doesn't pressure me into doing anything sexual that i don't want 2 and when we do have sex he says he want it to be speical . I feel the same way. But hes been doing horrible things. Hes cut himself before. The reason he did is because his dad wouldn't let him call and other times because he couldn't get me out of his head. He also admited to takeing phills. He has promised to stop for me. what should I do? Its scares me i don't want to lose him. Why do u think hes doing this? How can I help him. Please give me some advice. And please don't think hes a freak because honestly no one would ever think of him to ever do anything like that hes a good guy. Please help and thank you

It sounds like he likes you...maybe that he's a little obsessed with you if he's cutting himself because he can't call you or because he can't get you out of his head. I'd talk to a trusted adult about what he's doing because it could kill him. If you love him you wouldn't want him dying. I'm saying talk to an adult because it sounds like you already tried talking to him but he didn't stop.

Q: what is an aviator? or the aviator? something of the sort... someone said it and i feel like an idiot

well the aviator is a movie so maybe if they were talking about the movie. Otherwise pssh...lol.

Q: is it okay to wear a black hat (like the french type of hats) when you're wearing a black dress, black sandals, and nude tights? and the dress is like 3 inches above the knee...

It sounds like a cute outfit! I'd say wear it.

Q: i was a week late on period, i took several pregancy test that came back negative. the last one i took came back positivebut the next day i started bleeding, is there a chance that i am or was the test possibly wrong?

I'd say that if you took several pregnancy tests that came out negative, one came out positive, then (you got your period right?) then you deff. aren't pregnant. If the blood wasn't your period I'd try one more test if that's positive then I'd say you are pregnant.

bio

Hi, I'm Jen. I'm a 15 yr. old sophmore at my highschool. I'm just an all-around-average girl (okay, I'm not THAT average) I enjoy giving advice and asking it lol. I play the trombone in my school band and jazz lab, I sing in the chorus and in my church choir, I have a few friends but not a crapload...and I'm always there for my friends with advice! Sometimes its not always what they want to hear, but I always mean the best. So, ask me a question and I'd be glad to answer!
JEN!!