OnlyTheRightAnswers's advice column

askOnlyTheRightAnswers

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: i know this guy and i think he is hott but he is one of the ones that you might not want a relationship with. But this has turned into a life or death situation. Today in 9th pd. he was all like "shit, ive been turned down way too many times and its pissing me off. I cant wait till i get home so i wont have to live this fuckin' life ne more." those were his exact words. Im sorry if they are a little... how would you say... explict? ne wayz. there was a point not too long ago that i was considering telling him i would go out with him. that feeling passed. but i dont know if i should go out with him or not. We are like bestfriends and i really dont want him to kill himself! I rate hi!

Wow. Well, I definitely wouldn't go out with a guy just for that reason. You should talk to him about it since you are good friends and see if he was just saying that. If not, maybe you could just try to really encourage him and show him how much you care without having to attach yourself to him romantically. Maybe once he comes out of the woods with this depression he'll be a new guy, and then a healthy relationship with him could happen.

Q: Im thinking about getting a tattoo or my belly button pierced. which one do u think hurts the most and which is sexxxirr? thanks

Well depending on size, the tattoo would most likely hurt more. But if you feel like being original, tattoos are more individual as opposed to belly button rings, which it seems everyone has now. Just remember that tattoos are also more expensive though, so if you're trying to be light on your wallet, a tattoo may not be the best choice.

Q: Is there such a thing as to many orgasms? Can it harm u if u do have one to much?

Well, I wouldn't say you can have too many orgasms, or if you can that there's a certain number. It might just get annoying if you keep going after cumming so many times. You need a little break in between to rejuvenate so it doesn't get uncomfortable. But there's no medical problem that I can think of that would come about from excessive orgasms. You'll have to be the judge of when enough is enough.

Q: do guys think it is nasty if a gurl cums while he is fingering her or do they like it?

Guys definitely like that kind of stuff. Surely, they also like you making them cum or being inside you when you cum but I think there's this little bit of pride and pleasure they get out of knowing their fingers can make you crazy. My boyfriend loves it...I mean, that's not all we do but I would give it a try because it can't gross him out.

Q: ok im a virgin and i am 18 and my boyfreind / fiance is 22 and he has had 4 partners prior to me. also he has told me he is pretty big down there (normal sized condoms wont fit him) i havent actually seen it yet, but i am a virgin. i havent had any kind of contact in a sexual way at all and i want to have sex with him because we are so in love and getting married soon and all, but im afraid he will be too big and it will hurt alot. is there anything that the two of us can do to make our first time togheter (and my first time ever) more pleasurable and less painful for us?

Well, most people have a little pain their first time. But just remember that you're also flexible down there (I mean, if a kid can come out of there eventually, it can stretch). Probably a good way to prepare is to make sure you have a lubricant to ease things a little more and try to take it slow. Make sure he's asking you if you're okay with everything and make sure you're telling him if something is uncomfortable. I hope everything goes well for you...good luck!

Q: Are ceramic hair straighteners better for your hair than regular straighteners?

Yes, they definitely don't damage the hair as much and continual use helps your hair to become more straight naturally.

Q: My face is always kind of shiny. Are there any products or anything I could do to get rid of this?

Something to keep in your purse or pocket to make sure you always get rid of the shinyness is Clean & Clean Oil Absorbing Sheets. They work so well and take away shine even when you think there is nothing there. I use them all the time and certainly recommend them to you.

Q: my hair is straight and thin and its hard to do anything with it, but i really want to make it wavy, i want it to look like i just let my hair air dry and it went really cute wavy, but since my hair doesnt naturally do that, how do i make it look that way

Salons offer types of perms that don't have just spiral curls, but body waves. If you'd like to have that kind of air dried hair, you might want to ask your hairdresser about getting body waves. You can still blowdry your hair straight from time to time but you'd probably want to use a straightener too. Just not too much though so you don't ruin the curl.

Q: well heres my question

where exactly is the clit on a guy? and uhm what do guys like a lot? anything helps
ill rate

Well, guys don't have clits. They just have different areas to be stimulated. Probably the best spots to try are the head of his penis or his balls. Use whatever means you like to stimulate them :)

Q: i like a good guy friend of mine and i told him how i felt. he told me hes not ready for a gf and its not rejection but hes just not ready. so a week passed and things were good..actually things were better than they were before..more flirting and stuff...and i brought up this girl who hes kinda attracted to and asked why he isnt ready for a gf if hes attracted to her and he didnt want to get on the subject.

what are some reasons why a guy wouldnt be ready for a gf? i didnt want to pressure him but im curious so maybe you guys can help me out. we are both 16

Sweetie, I think a lot of guys who have girls as friends don't like letting their friends down so they give them the answer of "I'm not ready" while they try to figure it out. He's just not attracted to you that way right now so he's probably trying to explore his other options. Give it time and don't keep hinting at your feelings. He could come around eventually, but don't let your feelings for him blind you from seeing a totally different but perfect guy!

Q: ok i am a 14 female and i want to start wearin tampons for PE bc i have to start PE but my MOM wont elt em she says,"no you shouldnt be puttin things up there" and i told ehr i had to for PE and she goes that she will talk to the PE teachers herself and not make me go swimmin but the thing is she thinks THAT I AM TOO YOUNG TO WEAR THEM. she said " ur a lil girl and your body is still developin and shouldnt be puttin that up there" what should i do? do you guys think i am to young to wear one??

I started wearing tampons when I was 12 or 13 so I don't think you're too young. And though you may still be growing, they even sell slimmer tampons now to accomodate younger or more petite people. They're not uncomfortable and I don't think it's a big deal so I say give it a try.

Q: is it true a girl can only get pregnant one day out of the month?

There are about 1-3 days where an egg can be fertilized. Most girls/women have this right in the middle of the month but it depends. Otherwise, it's pretty hard to get pregnant.

Q: Whatz a hooker?

Someone who sells their body and sexual favors for a fee.

Q: Alright, I dated this guy for about 2 months. And we just broke up about I guess 2 weeks ago? Well before we broke up, things were going great. A few nights before we went to a football game and he was telling me how much he cared about me and how happy it made him that he could hold me and junk like that (Corny I know). Well a few days later he talks to my brother and tells him he has to break up with me. I was devasted to say the least. So I called him. He told me what had happened... that he just had too much going on in his life right now and couldn't handle a relationship. We rarely were able to see each other and the only way we could talk was after he got off work at like 11:30 at night. And sometimes he was so tired that the conversations weren't that long. So I understand why he did it. He kept telling me on the phone he still loved me and he cared about me and that he hoped it wouldn't be a permanent thing, ya know? And I told him that it was fine and that I understood. Well now things are weird. I see him every other day or so whenever my brother wants to go and see him at his work. And I can handle seeing him just fine. But we don't really talk. He'll say a few words to me and stuff like that, but that's about it. He'll joke and crap. One time when I went up there, he hugged my brother really short and then hugged me and I thought he wasn't going to let go. Anyway, he claims he cares about me so much and that he wants us to get back together eventually, but he never even calls. Even when he's off work... and I'm just confused. I'm trying to figure out if he still feels anything for me and why he doesn't even call. If any of you could help me I'd be more than glad to rate... I'll rate high too!!

Thanks so much for reading this.

xoxo

Sometimes when you really have feelings for someone it gets hard to see the whole picture. I'd like to help you with that.

A lot of guys get into relationships and get bored for whatever reason but still care about the person they have a relationship with. This technique of saying "It just can't work right now" is a way of them letting you down easy. Believe me, if a guy wants to be with you, he'll change his schedule and make time for you. That fact that he's not calling shows that he just doesn't want the relationship anymore.

If you ever get a chance to talk to him, I would suggest asking him just to be sincere and say you'll understand. If he really is feeling that way, at least an openness may allow for a friendship in the future. Good luck girlie. :)

Q: okay so i have this friend, and weve been friends forever since 3rd grade and now were 14 & last year he cameover to just hang out and stuff and we ended up alone making out on my couch and i gave him a hand job then we were at our friends house and i was spending the night and so was he and he fingered me is this slutty cause i dont even really like him like that

I don't like using the term slut, but you should watch yourself if you don't like him as more than a friend. Especially because you're only 14, this isn't exactly the best time to get a fuck buddy. I would just take it back a notcho r two and not hang out with him too much in places where an opportunity could present itself. Now he's going to think he can get it all the time and you should wait to give it to someone who's more than a friend.

Q: ok so are you still a virgin if you make out, finger,etc. Like what "activite" looses your virginity. I know it's a werid question but ijust never really knew lol thanks

In a technical sense, when there's vaginal contact by a guy's penis, that's sex. But that can definitely be debated. I have a lot of friends who think that oral sex is when you lose your virginity because it's contact with someone's genitals. I personally just stick with what the doctor's say and it you have vaginal intercourse, you aren't a virgin anymore. It's your call.

Q: Ok well some of you wont get what im picking at as its hard to understand.

There is this boy called josh in year 11 and im in year 8 and I fancy the pants of him. And he knows it. Only by his brother jake [yr 8] telling him and becuase I used to stalk him with my mates in yr 7 laugh out loud..
Right and I dont talk to him much I hang round with him for like 10 minutes most nights when my best mate meets her sister and her mates at the shops who is also year 11 and I really like him its sooo different its not just like fancyin its love it must be ive never felt this way about anyone before..
The more I cant have him the more I want him! Today we sort of stood near him all my friends to make him notice me and he did laugh out loud.. he walked up near the canapee at break and stood there with his mates then we stoof about 10 meters away from him and we kept looking at each other and smiling then as the pips went all his mates went a different direction leaving him on his own [he is popular though laugh out loud] so he walked past us and i said "Josh want me to walk with ya" flirting and he smiled and I walked with him which made him embarrased then becuase yr 11s have different lunches to us we were in maths and he came up to the winodw in the door and blew a kiss with his lips not using his hands and he walked off then I went bright red and then on the way home he was walking in front of us and looked round saw me, and started showing off. I really like him but I know he wouldnt go out with me becuase of his mates and the age and everything and I know its just a # but it matters where I live im dying without him inside I really want him this aint just a crush! Ta for reading x

I totally get where you're coming from! I'ts definitely tough with the older guys but you just have to keep at it. I met a guy who was quite older than I am and we were just friends for a very long time. It hurt because I knew the whole age thing was a problem but I kept reeling him in with my fantastic wit (haha just kidding) and guess who my boyfriend is now? Just keep at it...the older you get, the more open he'll be to the idea of being a couple. And if he's blowing you kisses I'm sure you have nothing to worry about! I hope it all works out for you! :)

Q: hey i am 14 years old and my boyfrend wants to finger me. i want him to and i'm not scared about that but i just dont no what to do or anything i need serious help... lol and i am not to sure what happens when he does it either!?

Okay...you're 14 so I wouldn't suggest going ahead with that...just stick to other stuff for now because you're still growing and I just don't think you'd be fully ready for any kind of vaginal contact right now.

But if you must, it's going to be a different experience. Since you haven't had sex, it could definitely hurt, and most likely will. Also, the sensations are going to be new to you so you may not know how to act. Just remember not to fake pleasure when you aren't feeling pleasure because then he'll never get you to cum. Even if he gets frustrated, let him know that he's the one who wanted to do it and give him pointers when you feel something you like.

That's all I got for you, honey...

Q: okay my boyfriend and i have been going out for 5 1/2 months and we haven't made-out yet....i am scared to make-out...i have never made out with a guy before (sad i know) but i need help....i get all these feelings inside of me like scared, nervous, and (funny)but i get a feeling like that i think i will mess up... ihave no clue on what to do i despiratley need someone's help....( i dont know if we should try it the next time we go to the movies or what, help)
:)&hearts
anonymous

Well, I'd rather not miss the movie but that's all you. ;) It's definitely scary the first time you hook up with someone because you don't know what to expect. You just have to get used to it - there aren't many pointers I can give you.

Just open your mouth when he opens his, put your mouth on his, and move your tongue around...you'll get the hang of it and figure out the way you have fun with it so just try it...it'll be a blast!

Q: How do you know when you really love someone? Is there an age limit on love? How do you tell the differance between love and infatuation? Please help me, I really need to know answers and please don't say "you just know" because that really is no help. I'll rate good answers. Thank you so much.

Basically you have to think to yourself "Is there anything I wouldn't do for this person?" If there is nothing, you are in love. Otherwise, it could just be lust or infatuation, but love is a very deep feeling that has to be acquired. There is no such thing as love at first sight.