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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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How do I get the network password for wifi?

I am tring to set up wireless internet and nobody in the house seems to remember the password for the network. I need to know how to either retrieve the password or reset it somehow. I reset the router. Will resetting the router do anything? (link)

Odds are your parents are the account holder for the Internet. If you call the provider and I've done this in the past and put them on the line to explain to them you don't have the network password they can re-set it electronically from their location. You'll be good to go then. They can walk you through the rest.


Hi,
Ok so I've just finished my first year at college (I am 16/17)from England.

When I started at college I sat with my group of friends and everything was fine. However, theres this one girl who joined our circle in year 10 and she talks to me and my twin as if we are inferior and I've always felt unwanted when shes there (which was all the time)
So in the end me and my twin went off every lunch time to sit on our own. As you can imagine, there gets to be a point where this is very depressing.

So how do I get back in with my group of freinds again? Btw I'm pretty shy.
Thanks (link)
Remain eating with them and socializing in the old places and if this girl comes do one of two things. Ignore her outright and don't draw attention to her behavior towards her or confront her behavior in front of others and ask why she insists on making you both feel small.

Before you do this let your friends know your feelings as they can back you up. Don't deny yourselves a good time with friends or friends for that matter over someone else being a pain in the ass to be with. Treat her as if she doesn't matter when around you. She wants a reaction or to isolate you from others. Don't afford her the opportunity. Shy or not you have to ROAR and put an end to the crap.


Iam auditing for horton in seussical and i cant find a song? and if you have evern directed or have been apart of seussical what do you look for in a horton? thanks (link)
Someone who knows a who when he sees it ;) If I were you I would find an energetic song and then a ballad from a Disney musical as it's in the same vein. Perhaps something from The Lion King that shows vocal range.

Every director is different but what they are all really looking for is for your ability to get across every conceivable emotion that there is in the script and to be able to sing and just dissolve into Horton and be completely believable from start to finish.

They have to KNOW based on seeing you that you can carry the show and can act. It's your job to bring it and leave nothing on the table in the audition.

If the director has made his/her e-mail address available prior to auditions for questions you can kindly ask them in a short one-liner what their vision for Horton is and use that to prepare and craft your version of the character.


Ok so Im 13/f and I have NOT had sex or any sexual experience but I have kissed a guy before and I have masterbated once.
For about a week now, I have been having this rash thing around my vaginal area. It is big and I cant go swimming because it will show through my bathing suit because it is very large. I told my mom about the rash and showed her and she got me this cream stuff from the cupports in our kitchen and it is called 'Cortizone-10' for external use. I have been using it for a few days now and it isnt going away. It stops the irritation but does not get rid of the rash. Advice?
Also, should I start shaving pubic hair because it also shows through my bathing suit and I do not want that.. so should I? (link)
TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER: rIf someone offers you advice and went out of their way to try and help you one should be grateful even if it's not what they want to hear. Calling ANY advice columnist much less me a "BITCH" for answering with something you didn't want to hear will not endear yourself to anyone or make people want to help you period. I know you're frustrated and have a problem but there are ways we expect all columnists to be treated and likewise we will treat you with the same respect.

--ORIGINAL ADVICE-


That's the problem. You're using some cream from in your cupboard that may not be designed to deal with the problem you have. There's no excuse not to see a doctor as they and only they will know what to do.

I've seen a lot of questions on here about the same issue. You're welcome to ask questions but you'll always get the same answer that it needs to be treated by a doctor with the right cream and knowledge of what it is.

You can't get advice advising you any different. I also wouldn't recommend you use a cream or medicine that someone else had prescribed to them as that can be dangerous depending on what it is. If it's NOT doing a thing than it means you need treatment still from a doctor or it won't go away. It will just get a lot worse awfully fast. That's an unfortunate fact.


I notice when my finger is in my vagina and I reach a point up higher there is dangling thing (that's the best I can describe it) in my vagina and I don't know if this is normal or not? I am 16 (link)

The previous poster probably meant to type cervix. There's a big difference. The clitoris is found external genitals and organ only purpose is pleasure. The cervix is the opening to the uterus. It's found as far back as possible in the vagina, is indeed round and will feel as though it were made of rubber. So, what you have felt and discovered is a normal part of your body not to worry over. Every female has it.


I'm 30. Years old and I have a 7year old and a4year old about 10 months ago I got clean from drugs I had a really bad year of using and I left my husban he took the boys down south to get a way from everything so now that I'm clean I have had the boys up every few months the thing is I have another child 7 months ago and the ex husban has wanted me to not tell the boys fearing they would not understand. Well my boys are going to be coming up on Monday and I have already told my ex I can't hide him anymore so when they get here I'm going to stay at my Moms and leave the baby with his dad and spend a day with just them my question is how do I tell them about there half brother I just don't want to hurt my boys anymore then I already have but I can't hide there brother from them please help (link)
Hiding him will do more harm now and especially later. You should introduce them to him and explain it like this "Mommy and daddy are no longer together and I'm now with X and we had a baby who is your brother/sister."

Leave the other stuff out and when they're older if it's even an issue wait until they bring it up. But yes, they should be a part of your life and the new child's and the ex-husband though he has a valid concern isn't helping anything by trying to get you to hide this.

Just tell him that the kids will be told nothing more than that mommy is with someone else and had a baby which they can understand as something that can happen to any divorcee who moved on. Drugs or not those particulars need not be mentioned until older but hiding your kid from them is detrimental and something they will resent later if you do as the ex wishes here.


Ok so Im 13/f and I recently have masterbated (only for about 10 seconds) and my period was supposed to hit like almost 4 weeks ago but I have an irregular period so I wasnt too worried. Today, I went to school and had to do something called "play day" at our school where all the gr7/8's get to lead groups of kids from grades j/k-3 and some ppl get to run events that the groups go to. During the whole thing my vagina and just around my butt area hurt but it wasnt on the inside it was more on the outside. When I got home today, I went straight for the bathroom to take a look. All around my vagina is super red and I dont know what to do! Please help!!! Im not talking about this with my mom or my older sister... Could this be a result of masterbating? I masterbated about a week and a half ago. Its really red and irritating! Help me!
(link)
First calm down. This can be solved and isn't something dreadful that can alter your life. What it boils down to is either a rash or an infection or irritation to something coming in contact with that area.

I KNOW you feel embarrassed showing your mom or sister but sometimes we have to do icky things in the name of health. It's reckless and irresponsible not to show one of them or ask to see a doctor. Also, as you noticed it's NOT getting any better by itself now is it? It's best to quickly show them and get it cleared up than to suffer silently and let it grow into something worse.

As hard as it is to accept your sister and your mom were your age too and probably have dealt with this and other stuff related to reproductive health far more embarrassing and will have answers for you. You need to tell or you can't be helped for it.

As far as masturbation goes it's a non-harmful and normal thing and has nothing at all to do with this issue as it's a rash, infection or reaction to perhaps a material of some sort in contact with the vaginal area or certain kinds of perfumed soaps/body wash stuff even. If you touched that area a week ago something would have happened then not now. There's just no way it could.

Talk to your mom as she's been there and dealt with it. You don't have any parts she's never seen before and she took care of your diapers too. She'll be fine with this and believe me she probably has embarrassment issues herself with this. It'll be okay and the only way to get relief from this.


I'm so confused. My husband is the most wonderful person in the world and would do anything for me when things in our relationship are good. But when he gets upset it's like he can't handle it. He completly looses his cool. He yells, and tells me the lost horrible things to get to me. But when we are not arguing he's a completly different person. He can go from being nice and happy to being angry. He acts violent to other people when he gets mad. He has gotten into a fight with his brother numerous time over stupid things. He gets angry over very stupid things. He'll throw a tantrum, scream, cuss, punch holes in the wall and knock things down. He goes from being the nicest person ever to very mean and angry. He tried to fight a security guard at a scool event (he's a teacher/coach) because he went through a metal detector and he forgot he had a knife in his back pocket and the security guard wouldn't let him into the track meet. He always has a pocket knife in his back pocket. He got suspended from his job because of it. When he gets angry he has this scary loosk in his eyes, it's like he loses control and becomes a different person, he just acts crazy, but only when he gets mad. Other people have called him crazy and bi-polar. One minute he's happy then he'll turn around and start shouting at whatever ot whoever he's mad at, screaming & cussing. Do you think he should see a Dr? Is there something wrong with him. Do you think he has a mental disorder or something else? (link)
Those people who think he is bipolar wouldnt know a person with it from an arrdvark. People with the disease have delusions, bad decisions, grandiose ideas and feeling of ombipotence but aren't violent and in fact avoid all confrontation and talk a mile a minute without pause with racing thoughts.

Your husband could be violent to begin with but it's not bipolar and wouldn't behave this way because of it if he wasn't out of control to begin with. He could have another mental health issue and needs evaluated by a psychiatrist at any rate. Good luck getting him to one as he no doubt can't see the problem for the facts.

I think he's definitely I'll especially if he looks soulless or crazed but the problem is not bipolar but something more severe. If he was fired and always has knives around I would get him to an ER to see a psychiatrist on call as he can harm himself or others. Either that or walk out with any kids and don't turn back until he has. He's volatile and cannot predict what's next with him.


Well i don't masturbate and I haven't really done anything sexual but for some reason, when im doing my casual daily chores, i can feel something wet in my pants and i always find out that i had an orgasm and its really embarrassing. i don't know how to stop it and i get really embarrassed and some times it even happens at school and i cant sort it out cuz the teacher wont let me go to the bathroom so i just have to put up with it and im tired of it. How do i stop it? (link)
You NEED to see an ob/gyn to rule out any health issues causing it and learn what to do to curb it.

I know you don't want to see a doctor but it's the only way and you have to know if it's medical or not. I've looked online for you to find out standard causes but there's not much to go on just theories and personal stories which vary.

I did however, read that one person had their doctor figure out that it was birth-control related. Apparently, some contraceptives increase vaginal fluids for no reason.

You also need to tell your mother about it so she can help despite it being awkward. As for the teacher tell him/her you drink lots of water because of medication and have to relieve yourself a lot more frequent than most. If he/she still won't let you walk out anyway and do it.

Either that or produce a note from a doctor not saying what the reason is but that you need to use a restroom more for medical reasons. But, you won't need that once you see the doctor. As far as protection for immediately be sure to carry pads and switch them when you need to. But yes, try to see an ob/gyn tomorrow if possible.


i have a really bad habbit i keep throwing up well making myself throw up what health risks are associated with this am ,i causing huge problems for myself in the future please tell me i mean it cant be that bad can it ?? (link)
It's a good sign you know you need help and this is a problem. If allowed to get worse it could turn into an eating disorder and there are tons of health risks including death.

You have to tell your parents that you're in trouble and get medical help for this so you can stop eventually and have a normal existence and be able to function normally and eat normally. They may not be happy with what has transpired but they will be when you are able to be helped. I would visit an ER tonight as constant vomiting and not eating is indeed an emergency and we probably are dealing with dehydration.


Okay well does any-one know of a website that is free forever and has phycoligists that I can talk to 24/7 I was sexualy abused by my brother in-law and I don't know how to talk about it.by the way I'm 12 and he started it when I was 9 turning 10.I really need help urgently please (link)
You have to tell someone what happened preferably your parents. It wasn't right and normally people who do the abuse don't quit. He may be doing it to other girls who don't have the ability to speak up. Brother-in-law or not he's got a problem.

A web site although providing words of comfort cannot replace the kind of support you need from a professional. I know that kind of help isn't free but should be in the U.S. as it is in all other western countries. You need to tell your parents and find a psychiatrist or therapist who can help you move forward.

The guy's a creep and an enormous prick and pedophile for doing this so don't protect him any longer by not talking. Sing like a canary because it will help you and other females around him. He needs help.


ok-ima cutter and last month my parents found out about it. I am still cutting-and they will not leave me alone about it.They are always making jokes about it and it really bothers me and makes me just want to cut more.Im getting help with a therapist but im still very uncomfurtable talking about it with anybody. I know they care and want me to stop but are going at it the wrong way and are trying to bully me into quiting.Iv already been bullied enough by kids and others at school for over a year and wish that they would just not try to rip my cloths off to see my cuts and call me names and make crude and hurtful jokes about cutters and emo people..This time i cant escape How can i tell them i want them to stop and that their hurtful words and actions only make the cuts deeper,bloodier,and more frequent???????Help!!!! (link)
Get rid of the therapist and see a psychiatrist. Your cutting is controlled by a mental health issue that appears to need supervision and medication along with counsel. Until you do that progress will not occur. Your family should know better than to tease over something serious.

If the cuts are getting deeper and you're out of control with it you have to get help. Visit an emergency room and see the on-call psychiatrist because you're physically harming yourself.


Ok so I just turned 13 and Im a female. I just graduated from grade 7 and I have a boyfriend (plz dont say Im too young to date). Today, I had a shower in the middle of the day because no one except me was home and I wouldnt get yelled at for using alot of hot water. After I washed my hair and body, I thought of something. The word "masterbation" just popped into my mind. I heard of masterbation just a few days ago in health class and I thought about the idea. I've tried to masterbate but everytime I've gotten scared. Is it completely safe? Well anyways, I was in the shower and so while I was standing up, we have this low shelf thats like a bench in the shower that we put shampoo and conditioner on and I placed one leg on the shelf and looked down. I got nervous but I NEEDED to know the experience of masterbation. I found my vagina and I carefully pushed in my middle finger ever so slightly into it, (2 fingers wouldnt fit and i didnt even want to try 2). I counted to 60 (1minute), and every 10 seconds I counted I would wedge my finger in my vagina a bit more until I got to 60 and my middle finger completely vanished into my vagina. The pleasure was over welming and it just felt to good, (I'd been in alot of stress lately), and at 60seconds I just didnt want to stop. I slid my finger easily into my vagina and did this for another 30 seconds until I heard my parents car turn into the driveway. I pulled my finger out of my vagina and when I looked at my finger, it had this white gooey stuff on it.
So I have a few questions:-
-What was the gooey stuff? and is masterbation safe?
-Should I start shaving my pubic hair at this age?
-Should I masterbate again?
-Will anyone except me ever know that I masterbated because my mom wants me to try putting in a tampon tomorrow because thats when my period hits and will there be any signals that I masterbated?
Thank you and please only girls give advice.. (link)
It's 100% safe. Nothing can or will happen to you adversely that is physical or mental. It's only ever a problem if it's all consuming which it isn't. 90% of males do it at all ages or will and 77% of females. Most females don't talk about it like males do.

It's pretty much a universal thing with teens and your parents probably suspect you do and wouldn't be phased to learn as much. Nobody can tell that you masturbate either and there's no reason to worry. As said by others the gooey stuff is just normal discharge to relax over.

As for shaving it's a personal choice but be sure you know what you're doing first. Consult an older female. Also masturbation doesn't have to involve penetration either. Most women/girls use clitoral stimulation due to all the nerve endings. It's only function is for female arousal.


Can an employer fire an employee because their pre-convicted mugshot appears online on mugshots.com? (link)
If you have a criminal past and didn't tell them when they asked or before hand they can fire you for that as you're a liability issue. They can also see it as blatant dishonesty even if you weren't.

The only instance when it's none of their business and you don't have to disclose anything about the past is when said charges and conviction were under a young offenders act where a judge sealed the record.

How would your mugshot end up online if you aren't anyone known and or wanted anyway? There's something about why it's on there that you should have indicated.


So the other one of my best friends gave me this troll link. When you click that link, you'll be redirected to a page with this screaming ghost girl and a scary bgm. Obviously I got scared. Afterwards she told me to go troll my other friends and so I did since it sounded fun. Most of my other friends got scared but laughed it off but when I gave the link to my other best friend, HE TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT. Like, I was in Skype call with him so I heard him screaming and throwing something. At first I thought he fainted or something so I called him a few times. Then he told me he just asked his maid to help close the page because he was too scared. Now though, it seems like he actually THREW his headphones to the computer screen and it broke. He told his mum (obviously) and didn't exactly tell her the FULL story. His mum is making me pay $1200 and obviously I'm mad. I said I'd speak to his mum one on one but I won't be too polite about it though. What should I do? And am I really at fault and should pay $1200? I mean, it's not like I threw his headphones at the screen. (link)
Have your parents tell them to take a hike. You don't need a friend like him or his parents. He hurled his headphones and regardless of who sent him the link it's his action that is what broke his computer not you. You had no way of knowing he would do that.

The $1,400 bill is their problem not yours. They're trying to bully you. Your parents can handle this don't pay a f--- cent. Some people are just unbelievable opportunists.




Like why did they make a bathroom like that. Why not just have stalls?
Isn't it weird to be standing at a urinal peeing while some other guy is standing there beside you peeing too??? (link)
Is this from a female by chance? Either way no guy feels totally comfortable with it you can bet. I sure don't. However, as far as I'm concerned you get in, you get out and you don't think about it. Nobody is looking at you or ahem yours but that's always the paranoid fear now isn't it? Everyone has that fear at the urinal.

If it makes you really uncomfortable peeing next to some other dude definitely use a stall. Yes, there should be more blocking you and separating you at a urinal but it's up for people in society and designers of bathrooms to make dividers like that a norm. 2-ply toliet paper while they're at it would help--just saying ;)


Read your column on how to keep the vagina clean and i will like to get pictures to help me on how to go about this. Thank you! (link)
I'm not sure who had the column you read because we have thousands. However, what would help you the most are these instructions (WORDS ONLY) and then looking up on the Internet medical diagrams that show you where you have to take the most care. We can't provide pictures on this site of what you requested.

However, these instructions from a Health web site should help you learn how to stay clean and avoid infections. http://good4yourhealth.blogspot.ca/2011/02/tips-to-care-and-maintain-vaginal.html

One thing you should do even though it may sound embarrassing to you is to talk to your mom, older sister, aunt or female you can confide in and tell them you're not sure how to really keep clean and ask them what you need to do to avoid any issues yourself.



I am 18 and female and am never going to have sex, is that such a problem? I think sex is gross!
I also think losing my virginity will hurt really bad and I don't want to ever have sex

But I think that no guy is ever going to want to be with me once I tell them that I never want to have sex

Do you think that a guy will leave if I tell them I don't want to have sex? (link)
Never say never. Why is it gross to you? You have to deal with that first. It's not gross because a new life can and often does begin as a result of this act. You have to figure out what's behind the hangup as sex is perfectly natural and normal.

As for the pain it's usually more a discomfort than anything stabbing but if relaxed and well-lubricated you should be fine.

Well, it's a lot to ask of any partner to never have sex ever. I'm sure as you read, research and get more comfortable with the idea, your own body and reasons for sharing it with another you'll find your view may change.

Who knows you may want kids at some point but start by dealing with what really has you turned off about it and chuck that idea or fear out. Definitely learn about your own body, how it responds to pleasure etc. by yourself as being able to accept it is the first step towards being able to handle sharing an intimate act with someone else.

The person who mentioned a-sexuality has a valid point however, from what I read in your question it has to do with two things disgust and fear of intense pain and of physical intimacy in general. I think that's all it is where you need to see it as something that isn't gross or necessarily going to hurt you. If that's the root cause than it's easily dealt with once you become more educated on this.


I had my record sealed, but mugshots.com still has my mugshot and I want it removed. What can I do? (link)
Get a lawyer. They'll know how to get it removed. If these documents are sealed the people distributing them can be sued and or charged for breaking the judge's order. Get a lawyer to figure out who is behind posting them and go after them if indeed they are sealed and under a young offender's act.


Hello Advicenators,

So, lets start it off this way. My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for about 4 years now, including breaks and breakups between. Hes 21, I'm 19. I go away to school as he stays home and attends community college.

Here is the problem, WE HAVENT HAD SEX IN MONTHS! litterally.. Ill try to do things to turn him on like lay in bed naked or walk around my room naked and i'll even star making out with him and honestly, he doesnt try anything. Last time was when he visited me at school in April and he fell asleep on me. He finishes very quick.. like 5 minutes or so. So im always down for a round 2, 3, 4...whatever, until im pleased. So, now that i've been home from school since may. We havent had sex. Honestly, i dont know whats going on..and why this is happening. but I'm becoming very tempted to go and have sex with someone else because i have a high sex drive. This is getting ridiculous, and they say if your not happy with your love life you cant be happy with your relationship because that will be missing... ugh. what should i do? can/how do i talk to him about it without embarrassing him or shaming him? (link)
Has anything changed in the last six months with him medically? Is he depressed? Is he on medications with sexual side-effects? That right there could be the answer about him not having the drive or desire at all.

On a whole other level maybe he's not at all confident or comfortable with sex like you are. You mentioned that he doesn't last long or doesn't seem to know what to do afterward to please you. Maybe he has self-esteem issues about performance and has pushed you away.

What you need to do is rule out something medical, talk about his self-esteem with him and ask him flat out why he has no interest in physical intimacy at all. Most guys want it all the time and he doesn't.

Definitely, a girl must think wtf? Is it me? Probably it isn't. He has some kind of hangup you have to investigate and decide whether to stay.

It's frustrating but at the same time you can't rely on him to fulfill your needs. You have to learn how to take care of your need for pleasure without intercourse while you work this out or move on from him. Give him the benefit of doubt first and talk to him about it and that you feel unwanted etc. and questioned whether to be with him or not.

There are products in novelty shops designed for adults that are rings that will trap blood flow if it's an issue of being unable to perform at all or for long. Look into that, therapy or anything that will re-ignite the spark but if the fire is out for good best to know for sure where things stand with him. Good luck!




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