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How do I tell my 7 year old and 4 year old that I had another baby by someone else while I was using drugs?
I'm 30. Years old and I have a 7year old and a4year old about 10 months ago I got clean from drugs I had a really bad year of using and I left my husban he took the boys down south to get a way from everything so now that I'm clean I have had the boys up every few months the thing is I have another child 7 months ago and the ex husban has wanted me to not tell the boys fearing they would not understand. Well my boys are going to be coming up on Monday and I have already told my ex I can't hide him anymore so when they get here I'm going to stay at my Moms and leave the baby with his dad and spend a day with just them my question is how do I tell them about there half brother I just don't want to hurt my boys anymore then I already have but I can't hide there brother from them please help
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I agree with Solid, Just introduce them.
Do not explain to them that you were on drugs, Children do not understand that and also at 4 and 7 yrs that is sort of inappropriate to try and explain to such young children. They do not need to know that period
Just explain to them that they have a sibling.
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Hiding him will do more harm now and especially later. You should introduce them to him and explain it like this "Mommy and daddy are no longer together and I'm now with X and we had a baby who is your brother/sister."
Leave the other stuff out and when they're older if it's even an issue wait until they bring it up. But yes, they should be a part of your life and the new child's and the ex-husband though he has a valid concern isn't helping anything by trying to get you to hide this.
Just tell him that the kids will be told nothing more than that mommy is with someone else and had a baby which they can understand as something that can happen to any divorcee who moved on. Drugs or not those particulars need not be mentioned until older but hiding your kid from them is detrimental and something they will resent later if you do as the ex wishes here.
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You don't need to tell your young children that you were on drugs and slept with someone else. Why would you explain that to a 4 or 7 year old?
Just leave that part out. In my honest opinion (albeit, I don't have children, nor experienced a similar situation), you should just introduce your young child to your elder children. They, at that age, do not understand how children are made. And so you do not need to go into details.
Just introduce them (don't make it a big and grand event, just do it casually). Explain that this is their sibling. Let them all have a relationship together. When they are older, they will understand.
Alternatively, you could hide it. But I don't recommend this.
Like I said, I'm not 100% certain as to the solution, but I hope I helped, and I hope it goes well. Good luck, and let me know what you decide to do! :)
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