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Family, Youth and Mental Health CounsellorAge:
31Member Since:
July 13, 2006Answers:
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October 16, 2007Visitors:
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about
Hello All, I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.
I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)
I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.
advice
everytime i go to yahoo games. when i go to play a game this pops up.........
Wait 3 minutes for applet to load... Click here if applet fails to load.
and 10 minutes later it didnt load so i clicked the click here and that did nothing and ive tried this several times.. why?
You need to go to a website like download.com and download a program for enabling java. I had the same problem and this is what I did and I now play yahoo games all the time.
About 4 months ago, I noticed that my teenage daughter was losing some weight, but only a little. As time progressed, she wouldn't stop losing weight, and she was a size 2. I started to worry about her and made sure that she ate dinner every day. However, she constantly made excuses for not eating, so we saw a therapist (this is about a month ago from now). In our second session, she admitted that she was anorexic. She now refuses to go back to the therapist. My question is this. I'm very worried about my daughter and her weight. Forcing her to eat would cause her to possibly develop bulimia and she would start to hate me, so how do I make sure that she eats?
Hi there, I am a mental health counselor and have worked extensively with people who have anorexia. While for immediate health concerns it is important that your daughter eat this is not the real issue. To ensure she eats you need to tell her that while you understand she doesn't want to the EXPECTATION is that she eats a minimum amount of food every day. You also need to insure that if she keeps losing weight that you take her to a childrens hospital in your area that has a good psychiatric dept. and knows how to deal with youth who have anorexia. If need be they will force feed her in order to limit damage to her heart and organs. Also if your daughter starts eating but increases her exercise this is counter-acting her eating and is extremely dangerous for her heart.
As for the actual disease; this disease is not about eating it is about control. This is the only way that your daughter feels that she has any control in her life. She cannot get well on her own, she will need help and more then you can give her as well.
As a family /youth counselor I feel I must say that it is important for you to realize that while we all want our children to love and respect us being a parent means making the hard decsions and the hard choices. Seeking treatment for your daughter may anger her and she may say she hates you but in the end you are saving your childs life. You need to be the adult and force her to be the kid. She is not old enough, wise enough or well enough to make good decisions for herself right now.
If you need more help feel free to message me.
Ok...so when im online i basically go on myspace and thats about it...i have nothing else to do what do you do when your online...like as far as what websites you go on?
It depends what your intrests are. I personally am a huge fan of games so I go to yahoo games. I also like reading about true crime so I go to court tv's website.
Find something you have an interest in and google it.
I am growing lots of cucumbers. Been getting bored of just eating them in salads and so are our neighbours!
Was hoping someone out theres got some interesting recipes?
Hey there my mom makes an awesome cucumber relish and pickles. I found the website below with tons of different recipes for cucumbers.
Hope this helps.
http://www.lpl.arizona.edu/~bcohen/cucumbers/recipes/
how old were you when you lost your virginity?? and were you married??
16 yrs. and no. I only got married at 30 and while the idea of waiting until marriage is a good one and in no way am I an advocate for multiple partners. However I relate my personality to that of someone in a candy store; I need to walk in and have a few samples before deciding what I want. Others (like my sister) walk in to the store and know exactly what they want and don't even try other options.
Whatever your decsion is make sure that it is the right one for you; when you are really ready there will be no question or doubt in your mind. Try and make it special and with someone who even if you don't stay with them you like and could be friends with.
ok i burnt my finger with my hair straightener on thursday nite and today its all blistered and bubbly. anything i can do ?
Whatever you do DO NOT POP the blister. It could and probably will get infected. Put cool/cold compresses on it and try and protect it during the day and air it at night.
Hope this helps.
This might be kinda long and in depth i apreaciate it if you read all of it.
First of all im 19/f and my boyfriend is also 19. We'll call him J. Ok, so J and I have been together for 3 years, four next july. He treats me better than I could ever ask, and does things for me. We planned on getting married and probably having children together. The thing is over the past 2 years I've gotten really sick. I spend alot of time at hospitals and in doctors offices. Ever since six months ago, I've been on treatment for cervical cancer. It's working but the side affects are making me sicker than ever. Some days it's even hard for me to get out of bed. So what I'm getting at.. I always feel so guilty and upset about hurting him because of my sicknesses. I don't feel like a good girlfriend because I can't do some of the things he does for me. He tells me not to worry about it and it'll be worth the wait, but it isn't that simple for me. I feel like he deserves better, someone that can do things for him and make him happy. I know he isn't. I know how bad he wants kids, and now I might not be able to give him that. We don't get to do alot together and we LIVE together. It sucks so bad I don't even know what to do anymore. Any advice would mean alot to me.
Thanks
First of all I am so sorry about your illness. As for your situation, I see this a lot with clients who are ill, you feel guilt because you feel less then a whole person right now, also due to your illness you may be experiencing depression.
The whole point of a relationship is the give and take as well as having someone who loves you and puts you first. You obviously have a man who loves you beyond reason, be thankful for that aspect of your life right now.
Don't make any major decsions right now, you are not in any sort of positive space right now. Wait until your health is back on track and then tackle the tough stuff.
As for your ability or inabilty to have children in the future, don't even take the time to think about this right now, yes it may become a concern in the future but medicine is making advances every day not to mention there is the always other options like adoption and suragacy (sp?).
Right now you are focusing on pretty much any serious that your mind can come up with in order not to contemplate the seriousness of your illness, I am a firm believer in the benefits of positive thinking, also for the side effects from the treatments I have seen remarkable things when patients look into alternative medicine for relief from the fatigue, and other general malaise and feelings of crappiness.
If you ever need to vent or just need an ear or a shoulder please feel free. My email is sassysara_1975@hotmail.com.
My oldest and best friend is moving to Ethiopia later this week. His parents had a leaving party tonight and as I am going away tomorrow it was the last time I will see him for the forseeable future.
At the party my other best friend (female) got upset and her younger sister accused the friend moving away's dad of feeling her up. My female friend's older sister then said that he had also felt her up. The man they accused is also their dad's best friend, and they were in hysterics. I heard them telling their dad and then the whole family went home.
Both my best friends were involved, so obviously I was very upset by this situation. The friend moving away is convinced that it was all just a big misunderstanding but I have no idea what to believe. I was already upset from having to say goodbye to him, and I don't know what to do.
One best friend is accusing my other best friend's dad of sexually abusing her siblings. I'm trying to stay out of it because it's none of my business, but it's not as simple as that.
What am I supposed to do?
These are really serious accusations. The best thing for you to do is to be a good friend to all of your friends by not giving an opinion on the sitation at all. Listen to them when they need to talk and be there as a friend but don't choose a side as you can't know what really happened.
Often in these situations what each person is saying is not the whole truth, when you have 2 sides to a story the truth is usually somewhere in the middle.
This is a tough spot to be in but by the time you get back from being away the whole thing may have died down and not be such a hot topic.
Hope this helps, and feel free to message me with any futher questions.
I saw this kid today and he seems really nice and we just know of eachother. Anyways, I saw him today and I said waved and he just turned and smiled and kept on going. (It wasn't like a friendly smile). It was a late response by both of us since I couldn't exactly tell if it was him or not at first. Should I still be nice and friendly, or should I just not really care anymore?
He may have thought that you were ignoring him and said hi out of pity. Or he may have had something on his mind.
My rule of thumb is that I am always at least polite and nice to someone until they are rude or do something to me. SO I would say hi and be nice in the future and if he gives you the same response again I would then re-evaluate being nice to him.
How could I build up my immune system without getting exposed to germs? I'm germ-phobic, and I want to stay really healty and not get sick. Thanks. :]
Wash your hands on a regular basis, take enchinacea as this enhances your immune system and strengthens it. Also there is a product you can buy in any pharmacy that hospitals use that is an anti-germ, anti-bacterial hand gel that you rub on your hands that kills most germs and does not need water.
Make sure you don't go overboard though as too much hand washing can lead to rawness and infection.
Hope this helps.
i have the most amazing bf in the world! i love him, but listen to this. ok, so i was having dinner with my bf's family and they are like high upper class people, and it was like a really nice diner and stuff. all of a sudden, i farted. nice and lound and long. i didn't know what to do so i was like "heh heh...the wind is quite loud tonight, eh?" in the fake brittish accent and they were like REALLY offended. so after dinner my bf was like cracking up but i was really embarressed! then he said it turned him on, and so i was like "hott!" and so we pulled the car over and started doing it, and then, the worst thing imaginable happened-his parent's drove by, saw our car, pulled over, and saw us going hott and heavy. now, they won't speak to us, and, because of that, my bf DUMPED ME. i wanna get him back, and i want to be able to confront his parents again. help!
Ok sounds like maybe his parents forced the break up, so I would go at this a different way. I would write a note to his mother saying that you realize that she may see you in a negative light and that you would love to get together with her to have a cup of coffee/tea and get to know each other this time on better terms.
Now I would also write a note or email to your boyfriend explaining that you understand that you made a negative impression on his mother but you wanted to make a good impression so bad that got nervous. Also explain that while you understand the pressure his parents are putting on him you are trying to improve the situation by getting to know his mother in a different situation. All you can do is apologize for your behavior and hope for the best if he and his family are this narrow minded then you may be better off finding someone new anyways.
If he doesn't feel that you are worth fighting for then he is not worth your time or love.
Hope this helps.
My wish is to go to an american college or university. I'm a swedih citizen and I live in sweden at the moment. What do you need to get into an american college or unviversity? I don't have that much money so can I apply for a scolarship? Please, tell me everything you know about applying to college! I need all the help I can get!
Thank you!
You need to first what college / university you want to attend, then go to the website of that university to find out about being an international student.
Here is a website about becoming an international student in the US.
http://www.internationalstudent.net/ssvisa.htm
Also have you thought about attending a university in Canada? We have a lot of really good universities and scholarship programs depending what and where you want to study. Let me know if you are willing to go to the "better side" of the border!! I can give you more info if you tell me where and what you want to study.
Hope this helps.
I have add and the type of deploma iam getting is a highschool special ed diploma.
Ok many colleges will admit you and give you special consideration due to your ADD for example more time for papers, tests and assignments.
Do you have any idea what you want to study? Or where you want to go? Your best bet would probably be to do a year at community college and prove that you are capable of college level work, also make sure if you are in the states that you take the SAT's you will be entitled to extra time and some help BY LAW if you take them.
If you are in Canada let me know as I can tell you where to apply (if you narrow down the province) and what would work best for you.
Feel free to message me back with more info.
Will having my wisdom teeth out..affect my singing?
Better airflow or something?
No it will not change your singing. It is when your teeth in the front shift or change that your voice may change, as will your speaking voice due to your tongue being placed differently.
Hope this helps.
Back when I was a senior in highschool I was really unpopular and I had a crush on one of the most popular guys. He knew I liked him but because of his popularity he never asked me out (but I suspect he DID like me). This is because I caught him checking me out at the prom when I was all dressed up and he used to sneak looks at me in our english class. At the time he was dating a very popular girl in the class. Well I just had my ten year highschool reunion and hadnt seen him since higschool. He is married now. Although he never talked to me I kept catching him staring at me. Do you think he may still like me?
He could like you yes, but there are other reasons he could of been staring at you all evening; he could have been trying to place you and remember how/when he knew you. He could have been trying to see how well you grew up ect...
He may find you attractive but keep in mind that he is married, and while he is he should be a "look but don't touch" kinda guy!
Hope this helps.
Hey i was wanting to know if you get a special ed diploma can you go to collage becouse iam in the 11th grade and i wanted to start looking at collages.
Yes you can still go to college. Many colleges have programs set up for kids who have special needs. I would be able to help you alot more if I knew where you were and what type of "special needs" diploma you have I would steer you in the right way.
Message me with more info and I will do the best I can. I have helped loads of clients get into school when the were in special needs classes and rec'd spec. needs diplomas.
does anyone know where i can buy the complete seaons of Degrassi? i want all of the ones that are out.. can anyone help??
Hey not sure which degrassi you want, there is the original and degrassi the next generation. Both are available at Zellers, at least all the way up to last season I know that the new season is starting to film soon as I know the teachers who teach on set.
If Zellers is all out, try HMV or Walmart. Also since it is produced by telefilm canada and distributed by alliance atlantis.
I did a search online and best buy, and amazon both have seasons 1 and 2. I am not sure if any further seasons have been released as yet.
Hope this helps.
im not sure where this really belongs... i was told that i was anorexic... by a doc. so now i think it is time to face the facts... but i dont know what to do... people tell me that i should just eat .. but its so much harder than that... people keep telling me its all in my head... but idk... they are scaring me.. i dont know if im ready to get over this yet... or even where to start... and the worst thing is... i have no suport... family and friends... i already tryed... my nutricionist... all aginst me... and my counsolor.. she just acts like its a one step process... i really dont know what to do... can some one help me??
thanks bunches!
xoxoxoxo
First of all anorexia is not a disease that is about eating, this is just the way you have decided to have control in your life. Anorexia is not cured by simply resuming your eating habits. You need to deal with the whys of the disease and overcome the issues that have caused it.
Right now your body is sending you messages that are convincing you that your parents, counsellor, nutritionist ect. are all against you and just expect you to be better tom. This is not the case, they are simply very worried about you and your worsening health. Eating again is simply the first step, in a very long process you need to eat now to ensure you don't land in the hospital being force fed. Eat only small things to start with but your body and brain needs some nurishment.
If you want more info, or help let me know.
Okay so I swim on a team and every time I do breast stroke kick I get this weird and incredibly awkward/slightly painful crampy that like starts in my toes and shoots up my leg. Why does it do this, how can I prevent it and/or make it go away???
Sounds to me like you are getting a muscle cramp / not in your calf muscles or toes. I used to get them and streching helped but when you get them the best thing is to put your foot flat on a cold tile surface. I know this is hard while swimming but if you stretch out your leg to its full extent while swimming this should ease it as well.
Prior to swimming it will help to stretch out your leg muscles.
Hope this helps.
13/f.
I am very forgetful. I have a very short memory and can't even remember what I ate a couple of nights ago or what I wore. I often tell people about my experiences like something interesting happening or about a party that I went to, but I tell people again, and not even realize that I told them the first time. Help?
I was having the same problem and now I take Gingco, it is an herbal supplement that helps with memory and has no side effects that I know of, it has helped me quite a bit. Talk to your parents and give it a try.
Hope this helps.