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Family, Youth and Mental Health CounsellorAge:
31Member Since:
July 13, 2006Answers:
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October 16, 2007Visitors:
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about
Hello All, I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.
I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)
I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.
advice
everytime i get my period for the first 2 days i always get really bad cramps. my cramps bother me so much that i never want to hang out with my friends and sometimes it even hurts so much i don't even want to go to school. does anyone know how to get rid of these annoying cramps? thanks.
If this is a constant problem for you, you may want to look at other solutions other then midol, and advil ect.. Going on the pill will reduce your cramps if your parents or you don't want you to be on the pill there is also a medication you can get from your doctor that you start taking prior to your period and throughout your period.
Here is a website with tons of helpful hints for period pain.
http://www.al-hikmah.org/menstrual-mayhem-managing-monthly-madness.asp
Hope this helps.
I am on the depo-provera (sp?) But not even two days after i had gotten the shot i had un prottected sex and the guy came inside me. I was wondering what the chance of me getting preg is and what are some signs i would see within the first 3 weeks to a month?
Please help im really scared!
You can only get pregnant during ovulation. When you got the shot you received it within the first 5 days of your cycle. The shot is immediatly effective (it is 99.7% effective), most young girls also don't get their period when on the shot, so don't freak out if you don't get your period.
Also please keep in mind that the shot ONLY protects you from pregnancy and not anything else. You still need to be using protection.
Hope this helps.
All day my sister has been stratching me pinching me hitting me and kicking me. Everytime we have the littlest arguement which is litally every 2 seconds, she has to hurt me in some way. She even bites me! I have marks all over my skin from everytime shes ever hurt me. My arms and legs are covered in stratches blood marks and brusies from her. I know all sisters fight with eachother but sometimes I feel like it gets outta hand. Today, she got mad at me and stratched me and she wouldn't stop I kept yelling get away from me and stuff and she wouldn't stop so I pinched her so she would get the fuck away from me. One little pinch sends her into tears and she runs to my mom and of course no matter how much my sister hurts me, if my sister is in one little pain of discomfort and blames it on me my mom will always take my sisters side. I showed my mom all of the marks, and she goes good I'm glad she does that to you, if you got hit by a bus right in front of me it would be hard for me to PRETEND like I actually care. I never care what people say to me but when it's my actual mom I break down crying because I hate knowing people don't care about me. My sister pinned me down on the floor and handcuffed my hands with my dads old handcuffs (he used to be a police 20 years ago) and she started kicking me so hard and pinching me I couldn't move I felt like I was going to burst and just die. My mom was 2 feet away watching all of this happen and kept saying hit her harder, hit her harder. My mom doesn't care what happens to me. So I was still pinned down in hand cuffs so I tried to kick her with my leg to get her away from me but I was closing my eyes and by mistake I LIGHTLY kicked her "bad arm" to make her stop torturing me and she starts balling her eyes out. Of course my mom yells on the top of her lungs "GODS GOING TO GET YOU DONT YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY YOU USELESS PEICE OF SHIT GO SLIT YOUR WRISTS." I said "mom did you see what she was doing to me she had me pinned down in hand cuffs what did you expect me to do just sit there." And she goes "I don't care what she does to you I hope you die." and she walked away. I ran up to my room crying. And then about 20 minutes ago my sister got mad because we were playing a ps2 game and she lost so she pulled my long hair so hard a huge chunk of it came out and I didn't cry but I tried to hit her but she ran away so fast so I popped her balloon that she got 3 days ago from a restaurant. My sister told my mom (but of course left out the part about her pulling me hair) and my mom started yelling at me and threw me on couch and just started beating me she hit my head so hard about 9 times it still hurts and she tried to choke me with the balloon and tried to stuff it down my throat. I managed to get away and I ran up to my room. I'm 13 and my sister is 10 so of course she never gets in trouble. My sister gets so much clothes and toys and cds and anything she wants she automatically gets no matter how stupid it is. My parents don't buy me any clothes I have to wear the same clothes from 2 years ago that don't even fit me any more. They don't buy me any nice things and when we go out to eat they don't even let me buy a drink and make me order off the kids menu when I'm 13 and I'm skinny but I eat A LOT and I finish the kids meal in 5 minutes and I'm starving while my sister 3 years YOUNGER then me is munching on a huge steak with 3 sides. I hate it!!!! My sister never gets hit and I always do. My mom throws me against walls and she even does it infront of my friends!!!! I can't stand this my sister always hurts me and I always get in trouble. I tried the police, but my mom lies so much so of course they believe my mom. My friends help me out so much and make me feel so much better but if they arn't at my house they can't see whats happening to me and its up to me not to get myself killed because no one else cares.
What do I do? I'm sick of living like this. My mom and dad won't even let me have a talk to them about it.
First of all you are not alone, no one deserves this and you need to get out. You need to go to your nearest social service agency and report it. They will remove you from the home and make sure you are safe.
This is not ok and I highly suggest that you get help now before something worse happens. There are safe places out there for you, if there is ever a question of anyone believing you instead of trying to run or staying at home start writing out as many details as you can remember when and where your mom and sister hit you, more so your mom and what your mom says to you. Also make sure you tell them about your lack of adequete food, clothing and other stuff you are not getting that you should be.
If you ever need help from the standpoint of a child and youth counsellor please email me even if its to help you deal with some of the social service people. sassysara_1975@hotmail.com
hi, my grandma put my blue jeans to wash in with the other lighter coloured clothing, and all the clothes have gone blue! what do i do? thanks in advance
The only thing that may help and its a big MAY but using Oxyclean may at least lighten the dye, let them soak in oxy for a while and then wash again.
My girlfriend gave me a hand job and i came in my boxers (she is 16 and i am 14). so later on we kinda had sex, but i didnt go all the way in i only went in and out for like 3 seconds, and i didnt have protection and she knew it too. i was dry and didnt have any sperm on me i check before we did it but idk if it dried on my u kno what. so the next day she says i didnt get my period back and her sister did and she says she gets it back whenever her sister does. now she is saying i think im pregnant but i dont know if she is . and now she has me freeking out and im so worried that she is pregnant but the only sign of pregnancy she has is her period isnt back yet so please tell me what you think i need profesional advice thank you so much.
I just answered this one for ya!
My girlfriend gave me a hand job and i came in my boxers (she is 16 and i am 14). so later on we kinda had sex, but i didnt go all the way in i only went in and out for like 3 seconds, and i didnt have protection and she knew it too. i was dry and didnt have any sperm on me i check before we did it but idk if it dried on my u kno what. so the next day she says i didnt get my period back and her sister did and she says she gets it back whenever her sister does. now she is saying i think im pregnant but i dont know if she is . and now she has me freeking out and im so worried that she is pregnant but the only sign of pregnancy she has is her period isnt back yet so please tell me what you think i need profesional advice thank you so much.
First of all if I am understanding you correctly then she told you this the day after sex?? If this is true then there is NO WAY that she could be pregnant. A girl can only get pregnant approx 3-5 days a month when she ovulates, this happens approx. 2 weeks after the first day of her last period. Also at 15 her cycle is most likly going to be irregular even if it has been regular for the last year or so.
She usually gets her period at the same time as her sister because when women work together or live together the "alpha" female usually causes everyone elses cycle to be at the same time as her (weird I know), since they are probably both teens, both of their periods will prob. change throughout the next few years.
I would like to say that it is ALWAYS better to be safe and to stick to the rule of "no glove no love". 16 is way to young to be a daddy.
Hope this helps.
everytime i masturbate [which isn't often], I feel so much shame.
I'm 14 and I just feel like masturbation is wrong - yet I can't help it when I have hormones. What should I do? Should I keep masturbating and keep it a secret from my mom, or just stop because I feel ashamed?
Any person over the age of 16-17 who says they do not or have never masturbated are LYING!!! Every person on the face of the earth has tried it. It is not wrong it is totally normal. Look at it this way if it were wrong why would it feel so good and be so natural???
If you feel that your mom would not understand then you don't have to tell her, if you are in the privacy of your own room then it really is no one's business but your own. I would hope though that if you have a good relationship with your mom that you talk to her and be open and honest she would much rather be the one to talk to you about this then having someone else do the job for her!! Trust me I am a mom!
Hope this helps.
i have had them for like an hour.
tips on getting them to leave?
duude pleasee help, it hurts. thanksss.
Without using a calculator do this math problem and actually do it in your head without looking further:
564+55+22*3+65-88+64-22
What is your answer???
I don't know but if you followed the above instructions and did not go to the bottom of the question then your hiccups should be gone. Works everytime for everyone I know!!! Its due to the shift in your thinking patterns.
Hope this helps.
I babysit a one year old and he wont stop crying! The only time he is happy is when I am holding him but after a while I can't because my arms are way too tierd. Any suggestions?
I would use b-mod (behavior modification). This is really easy for anyone to do. Basically you reward positive behavior. Start slow and for every 10 minutes he can sit and not cry reward him with something he loves (try not to use food). Then stretch the time over a week or so and eventually he will be calmer and able to be on his own.
He is probably missing him mom and going through seperation anxiety. Also if you have to let him cry for a bit thats ok sometimes even with my own child I let her cry as there is nothing I can do and she needs to find a way to settle herself (don't do this for longer then 10-15 min.). Talk to his mom and ask what works for her she may have a "trick" that settles him right down and asking will show the mom that you care about her child and want him to be happy.
Hope this helps.
iam in high school and iam not passing in history and my mom said if i dont pass in history than i be growded what should i do?
Ok history is all memory work, its not like math or english where there are certain rules and formulas to understand and then you can pass a test/assignment.
You need to figure out what kind of learner you are, tactile (touching things), visual (seeing things), or verbal learners (hearing things). This will help you get ahead by studying in the best way for you.
What worked for me was re-writing my notes after class every day and using mnemonics - a trick to help you remember stuff I still remember the 4 oceans by saying I Am A Person - the first letter of each word is the first letter of each Ocean Indian, Arctic, Atlantic and Pacific.
Hope this helps.
ok so school is starting, and im going shopping. and i was just wondering what you guy mmight suggest for the best makeup to buy, i am lookign for a very good mascara, foundation or a good blemish concealer, i am a bretty fair skin tone, and very little if any blemishes, so i would like to keep my skin that way by using make up that doenst damge my skin. any suggestions?
If you don't mind spending a bit more money then I highly recommend Clinique. It is hyper-allergenic and I have found that it doesn't clog my pores or force me to wear make-up every day by ruining my skin.
I am a firm believer that you get what you pay for and buying the cheap crap from walmart or cvs is just not worth my skin!
Hope this helps.
I have two questions about the same person.
One of my good friends (age 21 female) found out that she has cervical cancer. Now shes very much sexually active And has more then one sex partner.
Does any one know a way i can help her out and show that im there for her? She wants a family when she gets older and i heard once you have you cervix taken out theres not much of a chance of her having kids. Is that true? What are the chances of dying from this cancer?
If you can find any realllly good websites about this or give me stories you have if any. I would really appreciate it so much.
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On top of having cancer she needs to have a root canel but she doesnt have dental insurance. Our manager had called a ton of dentist offices to see if they could do anything and all of them said atleast $1000 up front. Shes a pharmacy tech and only makes a whole $8 an hour. Not alot.
If she cant get this root canel is there something else she can do?
How do i get her through all of this?
Thank you in advance.
Ok as for the tooth problem, depending on which tooth it is the alternative to a root canal is to pull the tooth. Also call dental schools in your area, they often will charge a minimal fee if you allow a student to perform under the eye of a dentist this is safe and much cheaper. If she has alot of pain she needs to get antibiotics as she has an absess (infection).
As for Cervical cancer; her survival depends on how early they caught it and she rec'd treatment as for kids it depends on the individual and there are so many options out there when trying to concieve. As for showing her you are there what I have found in the past worked for me was I gave my friend in need a card basically saying that you know she is going through a rough time and you are there for her for whatever she needs whether it's a shoulder to cry on or a ride to an appointment.
Hope this helps.
Does anybody know where to get skinny jeans at? I mean, I've looked at a bunch of stores but can't really seem to find any, and the ones I see in the magazines cost like, $200 bucks which obviously isn't that cheap, haha. Help?
The 2 places I have seen them is in old navy and at the gap. They are much much much less then 200.00!!
Hope this helps.
ok i was going crazy not hearing anything from my crush during the summer, so i sent him an empty email, and i guess he understood that i just wanted him to reply cause he said "well its nice to hear from u...how have youu been? hows school? family?" noow, i want to answer this in a FUNNY way, maybe that's impossible since it's such a normal quesion.. but if there's any funny people out there, who has a clue on how to make a boy smile, HELP ME! thank you! very very much! =)
I would answer it as "Hey there long time no hear, things are good, since u've been gone I got married had 17 kids all of whom are healthy..." just make a joke out of how its been like forever since you talked.
Hope this helps.
Is there a difference between orgasms when you the clitoris is stimulated than when the vagina gets penetrated? If so, what is the difference, and what is the difference in the feeling?
There is no difference. Some women cannot attain an orgasm with simple penetration and require other stimulation.
Hope this answers this question.
Hey!
Im 14/f
I have this prolem where people keep pointing out that i have rather large boobs. It is really embarassing and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I am a 34B.
So i guess i want to know if there is any way to appear smaller or make my breats less noticeable.
I wear a lot of polos and dont really like very baggy clothes.
Thanks so much!
There is not alot you can do, rather then thinking that there is something abnormal or wrong with you I would make a comment back to these people who are obviously not only without manners but lacking in brain power as well. 34B is not that big many 14 yr olds have a c and even d cup. When they make a comment pointing out that you have a chest I would say something like well its better that I have big boobs then a big mouth like you. Or ask them if they are jealous.
Throw it back at them and maybe they will get the hint that they are being rude and tactless.
hey umm what do i have to download for the yahoo games?? because i couldnt find it
Go to the website I posted below and choose what you want to play, they have tons just look under the catagory of games you like. Some are downloadable games but most you can play both online and downloadable.
http://games.yahoo.com/games/front
Hope this helps.
alright im 14 and just got my period. i play softball ALOT so i want to wear tampons. i tryed to insert one and it wont go in! what do i do?!
Ok it sounds like there are one of two things is happening, either you are inserting it in the wrong hole - there are two. Or like many young girls who are virgins your body is not willing to accept the tampon. Make sure you are using the teenager type tampons.
Hope this helps,
okay in either june or july, i twisted my ankle. basically it was the stupidest injury ever. i was playing basketball & i stepped on a girls foot while running & fell. it hurt really bad. i stopped playing for that game & the game after. i took a few days off & started up again like 4 days after it happened. i've been using an ace bandage to play. we had the month of august off, so i haven't played since july. my ankle hurts a lot still. its sore, i can't turn it a certain way, when i stand on it for too long it hurts, it feels like its in a knot, etc. i never got it checked out, because i know i twisted it & it can't be broken if i can walk/run on it. what is it?? its still swollen, but its regular color.
thanks!!
Hey just so you know it is a myth that when you break a bone it has to hurt and you can't walk. It depends on which bone is broken i.e. I broke my talis bone which is a bone off your ankle and I walked on it but because the pain didn't go away I went to get it checked and sure enough it was broken and I needed surgery.
Sprains typically hurt more then breaks but it varies person to person and on your threshold for pain. You need to get it checked and not play b-ball until you get a dr.'s ok as you could do permenant damage if there are torn ligiments, a fracture or fluid.
I'm totally lost in the types of Christianity there are. I know I believe in God, and the fact that Jesus died for us to get into Heaven. But what I do not understand, is what exactly God did, and what exactly Jesus did to get crucified in the first place.
Also, I was wondering if someone could explain the differences in denominations for me, or give me a link to a site that can do so. Thanks so much.
Ok others answered your question on the why's of Jesus dying. God is the creater, and father of Jesus. There are many different types of christianity. Below is a link on the explanation of the difference between them all.
Hope this helps.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/christ7.htm