Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Age: 34
Member Since: July 15, 2007
Answers: 181
Last Update: June 24, 2009
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DangerNerd
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why do some guys insist on not wearing a condom? dont worry i made him but still.... what is so great for them about not wearing one? (link)
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First I want to say good for you for making him wear one anyway. Don't EVER let a guy talk you into not doing it- and BELIEVE ME they will try!
Why do they try? Mostly because they are either immature, selfish, or think they are invincible- i.e.- the 'it won't happen to me' syndrome. They think things like pregancies and STD's only happen to someone ELSE. It's a good thing that you know better and stick to your guns.
They will try to give you reasons like 'i can't feel as much with a condom on'- this may be partially true, but what you need to tell them is this: you'll be feeling a heck of a lot more than you would if you didn't get any at all!
It's not easy for girls, they generally have to be the smart ones and girls mature faster than guys. So guys just don't always think! Also, they don't have to worry about the possibility of carrying a baby for 9 months do they?
I'll quit rambling now, but I'm very happy to finally see a post from someone who's responsible!
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I am trying to decide between a few things here.
I love people.
Helping People.
Health Carrers.
Fasion Disign
Drawing
Writting.
Any way to find a good job out of all of that?
Sorry if this is dumb. But i am really confused.
Thanks... (link)
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Finding the right career for you is about matching your SKILLS with your INTERESTS.
Make a list of all of your skills (things you are good at)
Then in a separate column lists all of your interests.
Then think of jobs that best fit things mentioned in these two columns.
One thing that immediately comes to mind from what you listed above is art therapy. You seem to like art and be very creative, but you also mentioned health and helping people. An art therapist does all of those things! You use a variety of different art techniques to help heal people. May be something to explore.
good luck. =)
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Okay, so I start this 2-year community college on August 20th. I already applied for financial aide & got it back and got my classes all set.
I'm having doubts now.
I've been wanting to go to this one 4-year university since last year. For some reason, I really want to go there now instead of the 2-year. Is there anyway at all I could somehow switch? It doesn't have to be this semester, I can wait until January for the spring semester. But I would just like to know if I can how would I go about doing this. Thanks. (link)
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Yes, you can transer to a 4 yr. As long as you have the grades and whatever else they require. You will need to talk to the university (prob. somone in admission) that you want to go to and see what the requirements are. Also make sure that they will accept your other credits, some accept certain courses and not others- which stinks because you could be losing some of your credits.
So ask ASAP! In fact, you probably want to ask them about the ones you're taking this semester before it's too late to change them if needed.
They will usually only accept a certain amount of credits too- like maybe a max. of 36 hrs. or something. It's different for each school, so you have to ask them.
good luck.=)
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ok theres this guy austin whos a total player and never stays with a girl more than a few weeks. once he even told my bf to break up with me and find some "fresh meat" (grrrrr!). so it was really surprising when austin stayed with this girl ashley for 6 months. but anyway, he just broke up with her. he told my bf that the reason he broke up is cuz he just doesnt want a gf and wants to concentrate on sports, and how hard it was to break up with her. well that was 2 days ago, and he's already telling this new girl that she's hot and asking her to hang out. obviously the real reason he dumped ashley is for this new girl. so im just wondering, why he would tell my bf that? i mean, i can see him saying that to ashleys friends, so ashley wouldnt feel bad, but why would he lie to his one of his buddies about it? im just curious cuz it doesnt make sense, especailly with this guy.
(link)
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This guy is a self-centered jerk who's not capable of considering anyone else's feelings but his own. So who CARES why he said what he said. Don't waste even one second of your life trying to figure this guy out. It's not worth it.
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ok. well my moms side of the family (which is HUGE!) is very religious (catholic/christian) so i go to a Catholic church, and i am in the sunday school and youth choir and groups there. It's fun but i dont always beleive what they do.
My dads side of the family (only 4 people living by us) are well my aunts (well ones my aunt and the other ones her partner if you get what i mean) are jewish and my grandma is idk what. and my dad became catholic when he married my mom.
well after talking to my mom and aunts about what they believe i kinda made a bit of a different religion... I believe in God and Jesus. I believe in heaven. not in hell. I believe that when we die we can be reincarnated into ANY LIVING being (animals, humans, plants). eventually there will be a judgement day and we will all go to heaven. I also believe that with the power of god and because we only used 10% of our brains, some people can tap into some more of their brains, and do (magical type things.) like kinesis, and other stuff like that.
i'm a bit confused of what i should do. i mean if i say anything like that (that is againts catholic belief) my mom and grandma gang up on me and start arguing with me. I know that people that believe different things can get along, but idk what i should do.
Should i tell my parents what i believe, or should i keep hiding it and only say anything about it around my aunt (who lets me say w/e and helps me continue my beliefs)
please help me and tell me what you think i should do! thank you! (link)
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First of all, I am happy to see someone your age who is so intellectually curious and can think for themselves! You seem pretty smart and mature for your age.
Now about the religion, give yourself some time to explore and see if there's a right fit for you. Maybe there isn't and you will take bits and pieces of different beliefs and make them your own. Who knows! But you need to give it some time. Everyone always want to put rush to put a 'label' on things. Don't worry about what category you fit into yet, just keep questioning and exploring, as you are, and you'll find out soon enough what's truly right for you.
As for your parents, you may want to just try to stay off the topic as much as possible, or see if you can 'agree to disagree'. That's what I did with mine about politics. My parents are EXTREMELY conservative and I'm very liberal. We finally realized that we would NEVER change each other's minds and have agreed to disagree. It took us a while to get there but it has saved a lot of trouble.
good luck. =)
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what exactly is a-line and asymmetrical hair (ok in dictionary of course that means hair that is not even on both sides? who would want that)? searching on google provides too many results and i cant see the pattern amongst all the hairstyles so if someone can just tell me that would be great. (link)
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I haven't heard the term A-line applied to hair. I know what an A-line SKIRT is....
Anyway, I can tell you what asymmetrical is though- one side is longer than the other. They usually have it short on one side and then it gradually gets longer around the back until it's long on the other side. Does that make sense?
Who would want it? Well, it was pretty popular in the 80's- kind of a punky, rebel look. Everyone was sick of bob-like, preppy cuts so it was cool to have it uneven. People would usually spike it out too to give it an extra umph! And I guess now that there is this big 80's revival some people are going back to some of the old styles.
hope this helps! =)
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i am from an arab heritage.... i am so confused about my culture... is there anyone out there who could tell me family traditions?? i am caught between west and east :S (link)
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First of all, every country is very different. So you will probably want to learn about the specific country that your family comes from.
You can start by checking out some books on that country from the library. There are also other things like the music, movies, etc. There is some great music that comes from this region, especially Egypt. There is one singer that I really like who is also popular in western countries. He's called Omar Diab. You can find him on Itunes.
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i've only been attracted to boys, and i've never been attracted to a girl like that i'd like to go out with them and kiss them and all that jazz. but its easier for me to get turned on when i need to be turned on, by girls than guys. i hope this doesn't make me bisexual.. cause i dont like girls like that, nor do i think i ever will or would want to, but then why is it easier for me to get turned on by girls? HELP! i could be turned on by guys too.. but it depends on their personality and looks. but its harder for me to get turned on by then when im like.. masturbating or something (link)
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Give yourself time to develop. There is no rush to put a 'label' on yourself. You will know soon enough what you 'are'. And when that time comes I hope you will love and respect yourself for whatever that might be.
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my gf hasnt had her period in 2 months and im wondering if it has anything to do with her masturbating.
also, what are the affects of masturbation on girls???
(link)
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Masturbation has nothing to do with your period. But if you two have had sex she should get a pregnancy test. You can get a home pregnancy test or go to your local planned parenthood. www.plannedparenthood.org
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I Dont Understand..
..People when they say that they regret losing their V for the first time ..
What is there to regret?
I mean you've gained experience and so can make yourself better for the person you really want to impress.
And also it wont hurt when you find that special person, and so can enjoy it more and focus on making them feel good.
Im still a virgin [and proud] but im getting to that age when sex sort of matters, is part of a relationship, and I talk to my friends about 'being ready' ..
.. and how a couple of weeks go i was a bit tipsy at a party, and I saw my ex and we kissed but I had to leave, but i reckon that If Id have stayed I wouldnt be a virgin in the morning..but i was all up for it
But they all say 'Its Good You Left because You would have regret it..'
But I dont understand that..
Yes I wouldnt like the feeling of being used or anything..but what else is there to regret?
And also if your saving yourself for a good person wouldnt it be better to have experience first?
thankyooo x
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There are many reasons.
Maybe the guy you thought really cared about you suddenly is not so interested after the sex. And you feel used and betrayed.
Maybe you're disappointed because you thought it was going to be pleasurable, but instead the inexperienced guy lasted like 20 seconds and all you felt in that time was pain. Not exactly what you see in the movies!
If you're not comfortable enough with the guy you can be self-conscious of your body, worried if you're doing this or that right, etc. and you don't enjoy it because you're not confident yet or comfortable enough to do it- so again, it's not an enjoyable experience.
The guy could end up being either totally selfish or ignorant of how to pleasure a girl and only be interested in his own pleasure-
I could go on and on but I think you get the point. There are many reasons why you could end up regretting it. That's why older people say 'wait until you are ready'. They aren't just saying it to drive you crazy. They are saying it from experience!
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k so theres this guy who i messed wround with before but i didnt go all the way with him. and he is an asshole..and he calls me a slut.. what can i say to a guy when they call me a slut?? cuz i never know what to say (link)
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That's a horrible thing for someone to say and completely uncalled for.
People are just so absurd sometimes. Guys want you to sleep with them, and if you don't they'll call you a prude or a tease- but then if you do sleep with someone they'll call you a slut. They try to put you in a no-win situation.
That's why it's best to just do what you know is right and not give a d**$ about what anyone else says.
If a guy called me a slut I'd call him one right back to show them how ridiculous it is to call someone that. They have no way to win when you do that because any answer they give you will make them look bad. If they say 'a guy can't be a slut' then they are showing that they are sexist and have a double standard. If they say they aren't a slut, then you can just laugh because that means the guy's just pissed because he isn't getting any. If he agrees that he is then he has no right to call anyone else one does he?? Put THEM in the same NO-WIN situation that they're trying to put you in.
If a GIRL calls you that, then it's even more messed up because a girl should understand and never want to put another girl through that. So she's either jealous or just plain evil. Stay away from anyone who would stoop that low. You're better than that. That's cruel and low-class- I would tell them that! Only trash with no manners would say something like that.
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If you are like 13 or 14, isn't it kind of hard to actually fall in love? It kind of gets me annoyed when my friends say like "i would die without ____" or something like that. Very rarely do people get married to the person they went out with when they were that age. Do you think guys at this age just go out with girls for sex and things like that? Or are there some guys who will wait till your older and feel ready and really love you? (link)
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You can be in love at that age, but you are right, in generally is not the type that lasts forever. That's because at that age you don't even really know who you are yet- you're still learning and finding yourself.
As to your other question about guys- not all guys are the same. There are some good ones that will care about you and enjoy your company without the pressure of sex. Others are just starting to feel their sexual urges and are so eager to explore that this is all they can think about.
This is the hard part for girls! They have to be able to tell which is which- who's the good guy and who has only his own interests in mind.
So just keep your eyes open and set your standards and stick to them and you will be fine. The bad guys will get the message and you will attract the kind of guy you're looking for.
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I dislike who I am, and want to reinvent myself. I know I can do it! The only problem is I'm not sure who I want to become, I know who I DON'T want to be, but not exactly what I should focus on, you know?
My biggest priority is to become an HONEST person because I have lied so much in my life and ended up in the worst situations (WHOEVER READS THIS - NEVER LIE - ITS NOT WORTH IT - I MESSED UP MY LIFE AND LOST SO MUCH - PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE, especially don't lie about your past experiences to boys! they'll eventually know what you have/havn't done!!) so I'm coming up with ways to make sure I don't lie, or tell the truth when I do. And I thought I was making life EASIER by lying - but boy is life so much better now that I tell the truth!!
But now I need other goals to focus on, other qualities I want.. can you help me on what they could be and how to reach them??
Thank youu! (link)
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Good for You!! Glad to hear that you want to make some positive changes in your life. And I think your first goal is a great one.
Here's another one I would focus on: make it a goal to be a person with a POSITIVE outlook on life. Try to avoid anything negative- talking bad about others, negative people, negative thoughts.
It's amazing what can be accomplished just with a positive attitude! You will also attract people who are more positive in nature themselves. Every time you catch yourself thinking something negative try to turn it around into a positive. You will be like a ray of sunshine for everyone around you and I guarantee that you will like this 'new you'.
I can tell by your post that you're alreay on our way there, so just keep heading in that direction.
=)
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ok i really dont like nasty feet, even my own, not that mine are too nasty :b lol. but i have small calluses on my big toes, and on the sides of my feet near my pinky toes. i have tried a pummace stone and it doesnt seem to do anything at all. it makes it softer just after, but doesnt reduce it or anything. i really want to get rid of them! also i want soft feet because they are starting to get dry on my heel and stuff.
thanks for any help xxx (link)
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You need to start wearing shoes that fit properly. Your shoes are rubbing up against your pinky toes and that's why you're getting that. Same thing with the big toes. Maybe your shoes are too narrow? Or the design is not right for the shape of your foot.
Not everyone can wear every shoe. You may love the shoe and it may look cool, but you have to decide if it's worth it to mess up your feet. By the way you're talking, my guess is no. So only buy quality shoes that fit right. Sometimes quality is better than quantity. It's better to have a few pair of quality shoes that fit than a lot of lesser quality that do damage to your feet.
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So does love happen when you are not even thinking about it. I mean I see a lot of people that have love in their life and I wonder how did they get there? Is it all really planned out or do those people look for love? I just want to know if it's ever gonna happen to me? I'm tired of waiting for mr.right. I'm starting to think that he's not real. Maybe for other girls. not for me. I dont feel right going out with all the guys i have went out with. It seems to me that no guy out there is for me. No guys seems right. Everyone is just ugh! I dont know what to do anymore. please help... (link)
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You'll find it, and you'll know when you've found it. There's no mistaking it. When it happens you feel like you're floating on a cloud. All you can think about is that person and you want to be with them all the time. And you get giddy just even thinking about it.
But love like this is rare. It's not something that happens everyday and that's part of what makes it so special.
You might have someone that you're attracted to and enjoyed being with but you're not in love with. It will come though and it may be with someone that you never would have guessed you'd fall in love with and vice versa.
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does anyone know like the first numbers on a phone number if someone was calling me from england?
my dad went away to englang and it was my family's night to finalyl visit my aunt since she's really sick but our dad forbid us to visit her just cuz he doens't like her so we stayed up really late and when we went home the phone said there were three phone calls from out of area.. (link)
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The country code for England is 44.
When you call, you dial 011 for an int'l call, then the country code, then the #.
But when I've received international calls though the numbers haven't shown up on caller ID, it shows up really weird with a few zeros in front and then some funky number.
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ok, so the last few weeks i've been feeling like total shit. i'm fed up with numerous things and i dont know how to control my anger. I'm trying to lose weight for the new school year, but i get so "blah" that i overeat and lose control. I'm really mad at my image..for example, i think im ugly and fat. [even though im not, i sometimes have low points in my mood and i think im so ugly // fat that no one wants to be my friend and etc.] i have so many more like.."mood" problems, that they wont fit in this question. i think all of this crap has to do with some sort of wierd mental illness, but my parents dont believe me. i dont know what to do! pleaseeee,please help me.
thanks. (link)
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If this is something that persists for a long time or gets more severe then I might worry. But given that you are still young and going through a lot of changes, the new shchool year is starting, etc. - it's prettty normal to feel the way that you do.
Everybody starts to get nervous, insecure, and has these types of moods at your age. Trust me, I remember those days. I also taught teenagers for a few years and EVERYONE goes through the same thing.
So just remember that. When you look around and start feeling self-conscious about something- like looking fat or am I wearing the right outfit, who will be my friend, etc., remember that everyone else is thinking the exact same thing that you are!!!
Some just fake it better than others! Some are all cool on the outside, but believe me, they have the same insecurities too. You know that deodorant commercial- "never let 'em see you sweat"? Well, that's what you have to do. Just fake it. Be confident like you don't have a care in the world and everything will be just fine. That's what attracts people- the confidence.
=)
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im not sure if this is the right catergorie but still i need to know thngs....
ok well i finger myself but i can't seem to orgasm and i really want to orgasm and feel the plesure...
BUT why cant i orgasm and im only 14 and i have been doing this for a while nw like 2 or 3 months but i can NEVER orgasm and i havnt orgasmed once!!!
i need help strait away!!!
and wht is clit stimulation or somethng?/
and i dnt wnt any sites to go onto!?!
THANKS IN ADVANCE!!! (link)
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Most women don't get their orgasms from vaginal stimulation (inserting in the vaginal opening). It can happen, but it's pretty difficult, and for some women it doesn't happen at all.
Usually a female orgasm comes from the stimulation of the clitoris- which has nothing whatsoever to do with the area that you're talking about. That's why you're not getting one. =)
To stimulate the clitoris, you first need to find it- that is if you haven't already. It's that strip of flesh that runs down the vaginal vertically (in other words, length-wise, not across). Most women have a little thing that hangs out, this is the skin that protects the clitoris because it's VERY sensitive. So it has like a little hood that covers it. If it were exposed all the time it would hurt.
Anyway, once you find 'the spot'- you will know by feeling around this strip- There will be one particular spot that feels really good. Once you get there, DON'T MOVE FROM THAT SPOT. Keep moving your fingers back and forth (side to side) over that area of the strip. The feeling will start getting better and better until eventually you climax. May take some practice to get there and get down the technique that's right for you.
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ok im 15 1/2 almost 16
and my bf is 18
i want to have sex with him because i love him and trust him
and i know all the consequences
but because he is 18 he doesnt want to have sex because it is "illegal"
is that right .
can someone please help me
i have been with him for 3 years and i love him with all my heart and i just think it is about time for sex . but is there really a low about age and sex ?
i hear something aobut 5 year difference
but i just want the truth (link)
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The laws vary some from state to state.
The law is that an adult can not have sex with a minor. But the difference lies in what age they consider someone to be an adult, and what they consider to be a minor. Some states consider 17 to be an adult but 18 is the LEGAL age of an adult. So you are DEFINITELY an adult by then.
So yes, there could be a problem. Now, as to figuring out what the law is about adults having sex with a minor in your state, and what age they consider to be a minor- you will have to check that out. I can't do it for you, especially since I don't even know what state you live in. =)
Some states have recently changed some of the laws because a 17 yr old was sentenced to jail for having sex with a minor. It was consentual and people did not agree with him having to go to jail for this, so it was changed.
But I don't think that applies in your case.
So your only 2 choices would be to wait until you are the legal adult age in your state, or to go ahead and do it- but you'd have to be very careful because if something happened- like your parents found out and were p'd off- they could report it and he'd be indicted for statutory rape. (That's what they call an adult having sex with a minor). So you need to consider this seriously, because I know you love your boyfriend and wouldn't want to run the risk of him having 'rape' on his record.
This probably isn't the answer that you wanted to hear, but better to know all the facts beforehand right?
Now that you know the above, you can check out the law for your state regarding the age of a minor. (When a minor becomes an adult with regards to this, is it 16? 17? 18?)
One more thing- you sound like a very bright young woman, so I'm sure I don't have to tell you this- but please, if you do decide to go ahead, make sure that a condom is used every, single time. Sometimes people get caught up in the moment. I would hate, though, for you to have much bigger problems to worry about.
Hope this helps =)
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ive neverbeen high
but i think im gonna try it soon
and dont tell me not too :]
but im just afraid im gonna get addicted to it
because if i did and my praents found out
id be dead. hah
but my friend has done it before
and the first time she did she said her throat burned but it was fun
and she also said if you get high and like youre not doing anything you get tired and it wears off
any other things? (link)
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I'm not going to tell you not to do it, that's your choice, but I will tell you some things that you might want to be aware of before trying this stuff.
1. Drugs (even 'light' drugs like pot) are often laced with other things. When a drug dealer or maker has a weak batch that they know won't sell at premium price they try to 'spice it up' to get top dollar by adding other drugs and even POSIONS to it- like rat poision. Sometimes they add embalming fluid (the chemicals used to preserve a dead body- they get it through the back door in funeral homes).
I'M NOT MAKING THIS STUFF UP to scare you, it's the truth. I used to be aocial worker and had to take trainings and work with people involved in drugs- so I know about this stuff. So every time you use a drug you're taking a big risk.
Pot is not what it used to be in your parent's time. Nowadays it can be laced with almost anything. And the dealers don't give a crap if someome dies from taking it, they just want to make a buck.
I know someone who got laced pot and ending up hearing Satan talking to her! She went nuts! It scared her so bad that she almost killed herself and had to go to a psych ward. (true story)
2. Becoming addicted may be the least of your worries! Some drugs (even pot) can lead to psychosis and even serious mental illness like schizophrenia. A recent study showed pot smokers to be up to 600% more likely to acquire a serious mental illness.
Is it worth it to get high a few times to risk hearing voices the rest of your life, hallucinations, delusions, and being mentally impaired?
Again, it's your choice, but given the risks, I think you should think long and hard before you consider going down that road.
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