I'm an ordinary person who likes the following things: writing, helping people, movies, reading, jogging, animals and teaching.
I don't like: stress, confusion, people who do not drag their weight and laziness.
My good qualities (I think) are patience, open-mindedness and the ability to write and speak in public with ease.
My weaknesses (I'm always working on these!) are the tendency to take on too much, from time to time; the tendency to not get enough sleep and my eating habits could be a lot better than they are now.
I will try to answer questions in an honest, open way, involving what I think is common sense. If I don't think I can answer a question well, I will skip over it.
Go ahead....try me! Ask me a question!
E
Gender: Female
Member Since: November 12, 2009
Answers: 97
Last Update: May 17, 2010
Visitors: 5927
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So here's the story...I really just don't know what to think of it all...we are both sophmores in college fyi.
After i broke up with my boyfriend of 6months..because it was a long distance relationship that really wasnt working out anymore...I started hanging out with this new guy. we were hanging out at least 4 nights a week plus seeing eachother & hanging out at parties on the weekend. when we hung out it was just watching movies sitting around..nothing fancy. every once in a while we messed around alittle bit..but not very much. most of the time it was just talking and cuddling..once in awhile we'd spend the night together. after about a month of this he took me to dinner on a friday night. we went to a school basketball game after dinner..saturday I went to his football game & we went out with a bunch of freinds that night. we spent the night together after that & went to lunch the next day. I was really busy on that monday so I didnt get a chance to talk to him..but then when i talked to him on tuesday he had a girlfriend....ummm? what happened? all of his freinds said that they hadnt even been talking and they were all really confused. they have been dating for about 2 weeks now and he continues to call me and text me saying how much he likes me and how much he misses me and how much of a mistake he made....i just dont know what to do now? i was really starting to fall for him and i really wish we could have kept hanging out..he keeps saying hes going to break up with his gf...that hes just waiting for her to give him a reason..idk help? (link)
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I really do think this guy likes and misses you. It is obvious from how he hung out with you and took you out and spent all that time with you.
The problem is that apparently he wasn't "free" to really do that with you when he did. Maybe he didn't think he would like you so much and he could just spend time with you and then go back to his girlfriend and forget about you.
But obviously he can't forget about you. That is why he is still calling and texting you. He really does like you. He just doesn't have the nerve or ba**s or whatever you call it to break up with his girlfriend for you. I know that you do not want to be his secret "girl on the side." So....no matter how hard it will be for you, you only have one choice. Cut him off from all calls, seeing you and texting you. Go cold turkey. It is the only way to drive him to make a decision between the "girlfriend" and you. Believe me....when you don't answer his calls/texts and cut him out of your life, he will be faced with the decision of either getting rid of her to be with you. Or just letting you go. It is only then....when you see what he does....that you will know for sure if he likes you well enough to do what he has to do to get you. Meaning...break up with the "girlfriend." If he won't, can't or doesn't break up with her....then he wasn't meant for you. Move on. Good luck.
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my mom treats me like iam a baby. I really like this guy named paul he goes to church and when I told him that I needed to think before I went out with him when he asked me out he said take all the time you need that right there shows that he is a good guy but I live with my mom and iam not about to live one my own becout iam learning disabled and I have mental health problems and plus I would probally blow all my moneh and wouldn't have any money to spend on bills so that is iam stuck liviving with my mom becouse iam not capable of living on my own so please don't tell me I can move out becouse I can't. So how can I convince my mom that he his a good guy without her having to meet him becouse the last time she met one of my boyfriends she embarrised me so bad and I jut don't know if I could go through that again. (link)
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I feel for you. I really do. I think that because you have some learning disabilities and because you have some mental health problems, you are dependent on your mother for everything. And she probably overprotects you, even though you are not a baby, because this is the role she has had with you over the years.
I am afraid it will not get better for you unless you are able to learn to make some decisions on your own. I don't necessarily mean moving out just now....but learning that you are an important person who needs to make decisions about your own life. As I see it, the only way this will happen is if you get help from a counselor. It is not something you can do on your own. The skills about learning how to be your own self-advocate have to be learned. And you have to have someone to teach them to you. I am assuming that you are out of school. If you are still in school, you need to get to the school counselor as soon as possible. If you are out of school, you have a couple of choices. 1. Try to look up mental health clinic or help in your county or city government. They often will take you in for counseling, even if you don't have money. 2. If you don't know how to do this, you can call your pastor at church and ask about church counseling. They should be able to get help for you at the church. If they ask what it is about, tell them you are interested in learning how to become a little more independent, as you are getting older and don't know how. Ask for private counseling meetings with the pastor or someone he/she recommends at the church.
You need help. Please try to get some help. You will be miserable if you do not feel that you have any control over your own life. We all need to have SOME control over our own lives. It is a basic need of being human. Good luck.
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Sorry if this is in wrong thing.
Ok lately this year i've been txting or aim some girls and they all say im annoying and i need to leave them alone. This one girl said she would give me a 2nd chance and i sorta liked her so i tried i guess to be less annoying or whatever it seems that i do. So she doesn't txt or anything and so i haven't been txting her lately or aiming her. Then tonight i said hey whats up and she flipped out. This other girl i know that is friends with her has done the same thing so what do i do wrong? (link)
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It is really hard to tell why these girls may be treating you this way without actually being there. But I could offer one bit of advice. I think you need to make friends with girls face-to-face BEFORE you text or aim them. Maybe you are kind of skipping over the first part of being a friend.....the face-to-face, talk, get to know part. After you have made good friends, then you can probably text or aim without problems. I think they may feel you annoy them because they don't feel that you and they have gotten to the stage of friendship where they want you to text them or aim them.
Make friends face-to-face with lots of talk and fun first. That's my advice for you. Good luck.
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Can anyone tell me if there is some kind of medical condition that makes it difficult for you to feel emotion?
It seems that lately I am having more and more difficulty feeling emotions. I just don't feel much of ANYTHING towards people. The people I love are just kinda there and I don't feel the warmth towards them that I used to.
What is happening to me? Has thins ever happened to anyone else?
Please help me if you can. :( (link)
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I am not a psychologist or counselor, but it sounds to me like you might have depression. The symptoms you are explaining do point to that. But don't worry. There are many, good medications that a doctor can prescribe (if this is truly what you have....and only a doctor can diagnose that). I urge you to make an appointment with a doctor and tell her/him exactly what you have written here. Good luck.
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I had two cats, Toby & jack. jack was taken to my moms house for a month now to get fixed and everything... a little after he left, toby has been really affectionate; i dont know if its because he needs me to be like his Jack, because they loved each other.. if not mistaken, they were lovers.. hahah, but why is it that my cat who was never this affectionate before suddenly is? he never even liked being picked up and now he can sleep in my arms.. (link)
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I had two cats and one seemed to always be "my" special cat. He was always on my lap, on my shoulder, playing with me. The other cat seemed shy and like she didn't want to be on me as much. Well, the "lovy" male cat died of cancer and after he was gone, the female cat "came into her own." It was like she was in the shadows because the male cat was always on my lap and slept with me, etc. and she never had a chance. Over the last few months, she has become soooooooooooooo affectionate, in ways I never thought she could. But in the absence of the male cat, she has really become lovy. Who knows the things that go on in animal relationships or how they really feel. What we may see as shy or not wanting to be affectionate may be other things (my female cat may have seen the male as dominant and left him to do what he wanted and she stayed in the background....but without him, she felt she could do what she always wanted to do). Just my opinion......
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Do you know where I can find a ten minute script for two women to perform at a forensics competition? (link)
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Try a cutting from a famous play that has two women as major characters, such as a scene from "The Glass Menagerie" between the mother and daughter. Another good one is the one-act play, "Riders to the Sea." Look for fantastic passages between the mother, Maurya and her daughter, Nora.
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does anyone have tips on how to get soft skin (on the body)? any good specific moisturizer products? good soaps, etc
besides:
- take a daily multivitamin
- drink 8 cups of water a day
- exercise
- exfoliate with a loofah
- after a shower (can't be hot), pat dry with a towel, do not scrub or rub
- apply lotion/moisturizer (link)
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Wow, you've covered it all, except for:
Don't smoke.....and....stay out of the sun and wear sunscreen when you do have to go out. Many people forget these two enemies of our skin: smoking and the sun.
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I had a kinda embarrassing moment with my new girlfriend. She said something about howher other boyfriends were bigger than me and stuff. :(
So what is considered a small penis anyway?
Mostly I think I need a girlfriend with some manners. lol! (link)
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I agree. Extremely insensitive of her. Size doesn't matter when there is love and attraction involved. It would be the same as telling her that your other girlfriends had bigger breasts. The size of someone's breasts or penis should have nothing to do with how much someone wants to be with someone. And if it does......who would want to be with her anyway??????
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Tonight I called my ex, (i broke up with him in early october). We haven't spoken on the phone since the break up, just occasional texting. Well tonight I told him I still and always loved him and he said that he always knew i loved him. He wants to hang out when i come home for thanksgiving. I don't know what to do. It's sort of like we're starting from scratch? But we went out for 8 months.
Well we need something to do that won't involve sitting in his bedroom because we know where that leads, and we just need to be able to reconnect and talk. I'm basically asking for date ideas? (link)
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Go for a coffee. Coffee places are usually good for sitting around and talking, which is probably what the two of you will want to do.
Or walk through an art museum or other museum. You can talk while you are taking in the sights.
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Hi guys
so I've had my laptop for like a year, and the previous owner had it for 3 or 4 months. So it's still relatively new.
It has always worked well up until this point. Basically, the monitor just doesn't turn on & when I press the power button, the lights on the keyboard just flash for a while & then nothing happens. It doesn't heat up or make noise & it does it whether I power it with the battery or plug it in. Anyways I don't know much about computer, and since I can't turn it on at all I don't really know what to do for it. I can't afford to take it to be looked at right now. Has anyone had this problem in the past & have any idea of what could be wrong? Ideas on how to fix it would be much appreciated but just a clue as to what's going on is great too.
Thanks in advance guys :) (link)
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My monitor died on my Inspiron 1520, also. It was out of warranty and when I took it in to be looked at they told me it would cost more to fix/replace it than to just get a new laptop. I didn't throw it out, though. I went to Sam's and bought an external monitor that was on sale and had a USB connection. Now I use the old Inspiron as a "CPU" and have it connected to the new monitor. I had the people at the Laptop Fix-it place just take the old laptop monitor off. Hope you can understand what I mean. There's nothing wrong with the computer part, so why throw it out? Get a new external monitor and use it like a desktop PC.
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Okay so a year and a half ago I was raped by someone I have known since I was 9 I am now 20. Anyways when people start talking about rape or say rapist or anything sometimes the subject doesnt even have to come up, I start thinking about it and then get in this horrible depression. I am also diagnosed with bi-polar and attending college so it gets really stressful, to the point where I start feeling sucidal and thats not normal. I can't afford my medication i have talked to many counselours but this rape thing really bugs me sometimes, I thought I would be over it by now? Whats going on? (link)
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Look...it takes some people YEARS and YEARS to work through something as horrible as rape. You say you are attending college. Go to the Health Center or Counseling Center and get into therapy. Also, tell them you cannot afford your meds and see what options you may have, since you are a college student. You cannot handle this on your own or by yourself. Get help now. Good luck.
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Hi, I'm a 22 year old girl.
I just broke up with my emotionally abusive (now ex) boyfriend of about four years...over four years? Literally, about an hour ago. Right now, I'm feeling pretty free and good about it, but I know it's been an addictive relationship, and I'm worried that I'll second-guess myself and talk to him if he tries to contact me, and wind up stuck again.
I got my key back to my car and apartment, so he can't get in. I don't think he has any malicious intent...but I also don't think he believes that I'm serious about the breakup.
So...
When it sets in for both of us, I'm pretty sure we'll both be really upset, and I know I'll miss him and want him back at some point.
You guys have any suggestions to avoid that?
I appreciate any ideas you can give me. =) (link)
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I think it is like any other addiction. You know it isn't good for you, but you are afraid you will still want it. And just like any other addiction that isn't good for you, the way to quit is to focus on why it (he) isn't good for you. Cigarettes cause cancer; heroin ruins your life; an abusive boyfriend (emotionally or otherwise) does not allow you to grow as a human being and come into your own as a person.
We only have one chance at this wonderful thing called "life." Focus on the fact that he is harmful to you. His whole ego is built on the fact that he cuts you down. You do NOT deserve that. You have to cut the chains now and get out.
Good luck.
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I am doing a really complex study for a class I am taking. I chose happiness as my topic it is something I've always wanted to study, and I would like to hear some opinions here. I need to see as many views as possible as this is all for research. I VERY much appreciate anyone taking the time to respond.
Here are the questions:
1. Are you happy?
2. What do you think would make you a happy person?
3. Do you believe money brings happiness?
4. What do you believe makes people happy/unhappy?
5. Any other interesting theories about happiness you'd like to share?
Even if you have a completely twisted view on this it would be very helpful to hear it, and this will all stay anonymous of course. THANK YOU! (link)
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1. Yes
2. I am already happy.
3. While I think that people who are struggling by not having enough money to get by and this may be affecting their happiness, at the same time, I don't feel that for people who do have enough to live that MORE money will necessarily make them happier.
4. I think the propensity to be happy may be inherited. I have seen happy families and then I have seen families where all seem to struggle to be happy. Besides that, I think doing something that you like....either a job you like or a volunteer job or hobby that you like contributes to happiness.
5. I think that some people "choose" to be happy and some just choose to be unhappy on a day-to-day basis.
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I am in love with someone who doesnt care. there is no one to move on to and i need physical attention so i keep going back to him. I would just have sex with someone else but i just cant do it. i keep going back to the same guy thinking i am going to change his mind bc i think he really does love me back. i have gone long periods of time without talking to him and i miss him i dont want anyone else and i am not happy by myself (link)
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I think you have answered your own question.
1. This person you keep going back to just doesn't care
2. You have no one to move on to...
3. You are not happy by yourself.
No one likes to be with someone that "just doesn't care." And nearly all of us want to feel wanted and to share intimacy with someone who can return our love.
First of all, I suggest that you examine the situation at least the three points I outlined above that you, yourself made in your question. You know the answer. You need to find someone who loves and wants you. Who shows you the love and respect and attention you need. There are many ways to get out and meet someone, including taking classes, doing volunteer work in your community, joining organizations, striking up a conversation in the library or grocery store....or.....just meeting someone in the many, many online venues for meeting people. Go for it. You ARE worth alot more than what you have now. And only YOU can change your fortune. Good luck.
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Guess what? I am stuck for an idea for an article for our school newspaper. I volunteered thinking it would be easy but I can't think of a thing to write about in our school paper.
Does anyone here write for their school paper? Did you in the past? Any ideas for me?
Please and thank you! (link)
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How about starting a regular appearing article in which you answer questions about your school? Something like "Ask the Eagle." Of course you could substitute the name of your mascot for "eagle." You could advertise it on some posters or closed circuit TV in your school. No one even has to know you are answering the questions. You could have them ask questions through email or by dropping a question in a box in the office or something. Make sure question askers know that the questions have to be about your school itself, not personal questions about students or staff.
If this doesn't appeal to you.....what about a different kind of Ask/Answer column? Just a thought.
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Hi, I'm a freshman in highschool now (15/f). I'm in honors classes and do a sport each season. But I want to become more involved in the school the community. Any ideas on what I can do or where I should go to start? (link)
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To get more involved in your school, check out the list of clubs and organizations you can join. There is usually something for everyone, from chess club to service organizations. As far as your community, I think it would be great to explore some opportunities for you to "give back" and volunteer! Some city governments have "volunteer services" offices, where a list is kept of volunteer opportunities in the city. If your city doesn't do that, I would start at the public library. Tell the librarian that you are looking for volunteer opportunities in your community. You might even volunteer at the library itself, if that is what you like. Or the hospital. Or a nursing home. Or your city recreation center (maybe working with children). I hope this helps and good luck!
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15/f
It's my first year of highschool and I’ve made many friends (mainly juniors). I've been asked out quite a few times which is, to be honest, a weird thing to experience considering I’ve spent the past nine years in a school being referred to as "the tranz" or "the ugly fuck". A little while ago, no more than a little over a month ago, I began going out "dating" my friend. He's a junior and it being that we both had just recovered or somewhat recovered from abusive relationships, well, we understood each other and could empathize completely with each other.
I'm adopted and for some reason when it comes to serious relationships or even just friendships, my abandonment issues tend to lose control and instead of being extremely clingy because I’ve become so attracted to them I do complete opposite and, for a short time, become extremely apathetic towards them . I don’t do this intentionally. It’s difficult to explain but, in short, I try my best to not show how much I depend on them and refrain from smothering them. (even though that’s actually how I feel inside) I do this because I’m afraid they’ll get freaked out and leave me. Almost every guy I’ve been remotely close with has abandoned me for either not getting with them or maybe disappointing them in some way which is natural I suppose but the way I see it is that if they really want to be with me or care about me, they’ll forgive me and stay with me. No guy has ever done that.
So I was dating my friend (like I said he’s a junior and literally has all the freshman and sophomores and even a few seniors on him) and was thrilled because we made each other so happy. But then I went through my stupid little apathy phase and I suppose he became disinterested and we stopped dating and came to the conclusion that we would better ourselves by just remaining very close friends. The feeling was mutual at the time. We dated for over a month and so during that time I actually began to really like him. I still like him and everyday tend to want to be with him more and more. (even if I don’t show it) Lately we’ve gotten closer, physically that is. We’ve held hand throughout a whole entire movie. He’s learned that I moan when I get bitten and so bites me and picks me up all the time. He bear hugs me and puts me so close to his face that my lips skip his cheeks.
A couple nights ago I told him I regret fucking up like I did and apologized for my strange behavior that took place prior to our break up and ask him if he would ever consider giving me another chance and/or if he would ever be interested in me again. His response:
“probably, but if I do I probably won’t act much on it” and “_____, we’ve already discussed this. We tried and it didn’t work out. We had an agreement remember?”
Before dating we agreed not to fuck up our friendship and to just try dating. If it didn’t work out we weren’t going to make a big deal over it. BUT another part of our agreement was that we would never do anything or would never intentionally hurt each other by misleading each other.
My question is: What am I supposed to do if every time we embrace I become closer to kissing him? What does he mean by saying he won’t act on his feelings if he ever wants to date again? He’s saying he won’t give me a second chance. Why, if he’s over it, would he suddenly be so touchy still when we agreed not to mislead each other like that? Is there possibly some way I can move past my abandonment issues? (I always have to wait and see if they’ll actually stay with me and not abandon me but unfortunately that all happened after and most likely the cause of our break up) What reasons could he possibly have to be unwilling to give me another chance?
For anyone who can lend me some advice, I greatly appreciate it and apologize for the lengthiness of this question. It’s difficult for me to articulate my problem in short terms.
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First of all, I believe you when you talk of abandonment issues and I believe you that these issues are causing you to mess up with relationships in your life. And that is something that it would be good for you to work out with a counselor, before any more of your life goes by. You are in school. You can go to a counselor and it will be confidential and won't cost you any money. Now is a good time to take care of that....
About the relationship...it sounds as if things are progressing between the two of you. The things you mention (holding hands, bear hugs, bites, getting closer) are all signs of attraction (at least to me). I always say that actions speak much louder than words. And his actions right now sound like he likes you. Don't worry about trying to get the words out of him that you want him to say right now. I would go on with what you have. If it is meant to be, it will keep on building and pretty soon, things will be happening, no matter what words were said between the two of you. Attraction, chemistry and "like" are pretty hard things to ignore, if they are meant to be. Good luck.
Ellen
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