ask cynicalladvice



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators




Gender: Female
Location: San Francisco
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
Member Since: April 18, 2005
Answers: 370
Last Update: June 5, 2010
Visitors: 24441

Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Families
View All

Favorite Columnists
mlabozzetta
cha_yeah
cookiedough19
ok so I really like this boy at my school..
ok everyone does but he flirts with every girl I know! and ok one day he was looking cute and you know I kinda sorta..smiled at him! he smiled back! I was so amazed then at the end of the day we had sex in the back of the aditrorium. I know But he was just to hott. then my dad started to ask me quetions and I'm not a good lier. I think he is finding out about me and what happened!
what should I do!!!! (link)
wow. well, do you want him to the gossip-y-fied version from someone else, or tht truth from you?

and you should get checked out at your gyno, just in case, protection or no protection.


This is not the kinda question i should be asking, but im curious. (dont get grossed out)
Im a guy who is very sexually active with one partner, my question is the following..my girlfriend hardly ever gives me head not because she doesnt want to, but because for the last 8 months or so, ive had this very bad odour comming from my penis. The thing is im the cleanest person ever, i shower everyday and pay extra attention to washing my penis properly, however 10 or 15 minutes later, the smell is back. Ive gotten checked for all stds many of times, and i know for a fact that im my girlfriends first and only lover. Any body have any ideas as to why this odour keeps on destroying my feallatio fantasies? (link)
well

1) she could be making it up cuz she doesn't want to give head

2) are you cleaning under the forskin?


Why is it that because I have a 24-inch waist and wear 00 pants, that I'm a stick with a drawn-on face? I know that this is a dumb question, but I was reading the responses to a question, one of the users used that phrase as if really thin people are just an empty shell and that hurt my feelings... (link)
It doesn't. The people who typed that are insensitve, immature, and probably unsecure with their own body.

Don't be sad, be glad :)


How old Should a child be when they start dating? (link)
it differes for everyone, it not about age, it's about maturity, I know people who started dating when they were 12, I didn't start till I was 14, some people wait untill their 20s.

If your the child in question, do you feel like you think you could handle dating? Do you want to date because your friends are dating? (that would not be a good sign)

Are you a parent? Do you trust your child? Is he/she responisble/mature?


alot has been going on around me. i'm really depressed. well last night i thought of cutting but i dont have the guts to do it. so instead with a pin i carved an X into my wrist. i feel so addicted i did it again this morning. i keep having these suicidal thoughts and i dont know whats wrong. my life is a mess. and i dont know what to do help? (link)
well, either youre only asking this for attention (srry, I'm sure you aren't, but it happens...) in which case you need to stfu and get a better hobby.

*NOW* carving stuff with a pin is cutting, and either way you have to resist, STOP now, and get help, which I know seems like you'd be labeling yourself as crazy, but it isn't, try going to therapy or joining a support group, seriously, you've already started noticing the addictive quality, it only gets worse.

good luck


Is giving head considered Anal Sex? (link)
no, it's oral sex. Anal sex is sex where someone iserts something into one's anus/rectum for pleasure.


Im gay and I dont know how to tell my family. I overheard that my dad will kill someone in the family if he found out they were gay. I feel horrible. I know that my whole family would hate me. I already messed everything up with half of my friends. If any of my friends find out im gay no one will want to be near me. They'll hate me. Half of my friends already hate me from something a while ago. I feel horrible. I told one of my friends and they told me that they will always be my friend. I love her so much. I dont want to lose my friends. How do I tell them? (link)
Kudos to you for trying to come out rather than just hiding everything! Unfortunately, not everyone is openminded or mature enough to be accepting of you, but you'll probably feel freer after you come out, and in somecases it may take people a while to accept it. Good luck!


http://www.sxetc.org/index.php?topic=Stories&sub_topic=GLBTQ&content_id=4001


http://www.sxetc.org/index.php?topic=Stories&sub_topic=GLBTQ&content_id=1498


A little girl was walking in the winter and saw a frozen snake by the side of the road. She took pity on it, and put it in her pocket to warm it up. After a while, the snake warmed up, and bit her in the leg. She said, "Hey, I took care of you, what did you bite me for?" And the snake said, "Well, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up, didn’t you?"

What is the moral of this story? I'm just curious. (link)
To not expect people to be nice just because you're nice to them. If someone's mean, they are going to be nasty to you and there's nothing you can do. If someone tends to backstab, you'll be backstabbed, boy that sucks!


I am so mad. I just got into an argument with a friend. It all started when I told her that I wouldn't date a man who already had children. I told her this because I wanted to have children of my own someday, and that from my parents divorce I learned that dating other people who had kids was a recipe for disaster, especially if the kids didnt like you.
Well then she told me that I had issues!! I told her it was a personal choice and that why would I want to date a man who already had kids if I wanted my own. She is a stepmum and was judging me, that's what go me so mad. I told her it was fine for her to be a stepmom but it wasnt for everyone, and that she had no right judging me. NOw she's not speaking to me.
What should I do? I had every right to defend myself. (link)
well, it *was* a bit insensitive of you to say that if you knew she was a stepmom, and it wasn't exctly mature of her to say you have issues, but she said it because she felt insulted. Apologize and say that both of you are being silly, and that you value your friendship too much to let something like this come between you.


This is very long, sorry. I'm just trying to provide enough information for you guys to get enough info.
So this guy used to like me four years ago (he was a popular guy) and I hated him because he was a jerk. He stopped liking me, I think. A year later, I started to like him even though everyone else still thinks he’s an ass. I just think he’s secretly very sweet. Anyway, this year he became kind of famous. Throughout these four years, we keep staring at each other all the time. It’s very odd. But none of us made a move till now.
Elaine and I are in yearbook (she is pretty popular too). We had to interview him because he won the “most likely to be rich and famous” thing.
So we see his teacher and we ask her if we can interview him. She went inside and told him there were some ladies there to see him. He watched me approach him with surprise.
I walked inside the room and said hi.
Then he leaned back and said the first thing he's said to me in about four years,
"What's up?"
I told him he won the award and I wanted him to come do a question thingie. So he got up and came with me.
We were walking down the hallway and I said "You won the rich and famous thing... which I don't understand because you're rich and famous already." He paused and did this modest agreeing shrug thing like meaning, Yeah well, what can I say?. which is odd because you’d think he’d be cocky as usual.
So we took two pictures of him. I asked him if he wanted to do it later and he said he didn't care. Then I asked Jake why he thought he won this award, he said it was probably because everyone knows him or something. He couldn’t think if anything else so I told him we'd do it tomorrow. I asked him if he'd be in school tomorrow (he skips a lot) and he shrugged. We started walking down the hall again and he went left into his classroom hall.
A few minutes later, we were walking and these friends of Jake’s showed up and talked to Elaine. Then I saw a friend of mine in front of us coming towards us and right behind her was Jake at the soda pop machine. He got his drink and started walking towards us too.
Jake’s friends sat on the ledge. Carey and I started discussing the yearbook and the guys decided to get a picture taken. So Jake asked what the picture was for and we all said the memories page. He said he wasn't going to do it because he wasn't going to be in the yearbook twice in the same outfit. He got off the ledge and folded his arms across his chest and then looked at me. After the pics were done, Jake sat on the ledge again when it looked like everyone was going to leave. So they moved away so he had to get up and go with them. After they left, Elaine and I were walking down the hall again and Elaine said Jake was nice when he was alone but he was a dick when he was with his friends. The next day, I was walking down the hall during that block. Jake was walking towards his classroom with a pop can in his hand and I guess I prolonged eye contact because he put his hand on the door handle and waited. I asked him if he had though of anything and he responded with the likes of "I don't know" or "Not yet" or something and did this little continuous awkward shrug thing. I sad "Ok, we'll do it later."
So is he interested? What do you think.
Thank you SOOO much. I just need some kind of confirmation because I've like him for so long. I'll give you 5's. (link)
I wouldn't get my hopes up, sorry hun. But hey, let him know YOU'RE interested, and see what he thinks.


what is the best medicine/pills for mentrual pains (im 13 and overweight if that matters) (link)
try advil, that usually works for me, or exedrin


ok i just started going out with this guy yesterday and today at school he was seriously CLINGY and he said he loved me at the end o the day i was so freaked out how should i act around him what to i say cuz im not even sure if i like him anymore PLEASE HELP SOON 5's for anyone who helps at all (link)
If you don't like him and see nothing worth still being with him (compare your feelings now to your feelings about him before your date yesterday) dump him, don't be in a bad, confused mood for his sake. If you think he has potential still, tell him you want him to lay off a bit and that you're kinda icked out, but are still interested if he can cling less.


just to add that between those days of accident i was having those dream of a small child i was suppose to look after run in the sea. i was trying to save her but i just coudn't. i coundn't even reach her.and she dround in big waves on sea shore.
could this been the meaning of my dream? (link)
you can add stuff on the question if you go to the "answer" thing (when it's your question)

I never saw your first question though... sorry


Im doing a spanish project and I need to know what kind of cultural foods do people in guatemala eat for breakfast? (link)
"We spent the hour eating a traditional Guatemalan breakfast of scrambled eggs, beans, fried plantains, and tortillas in a local restaurant."

-http://www.world-ready.com/volcano.htm


Well this happend at school we took our final exmas yesterday and one of the girls that i don't like at all serouisly i hate her so much! Anyway she was in my health class and she was cheating off of my friends paper and so she told the teacher about she was cheating so the teacher is gunna do something. Right now my friend is mad at because i told the girl that she was cheating off of my friend ( the friend who is mad at me) and told the teacher and i have a big blabber mouth and she didn't know so i told her and now my friend is getting hurt from the mean girl and i don't want her to be mad at me anymore and get hurt from the mean girl. (link)
I KNOW you don't like her, and wanted to see her in trouble. But it's like part of the unsaid, un written adolecent code that you don't go to the teacher on someone, I'm not sure why, but yeah...

It'll blow over eventually, just grit your teeth and wait it out.


I think I have a yeast infection. Its itchy down there a lot. My discharge is a normal color though. Do I need to get this checked out by a doctor? And how do I tell my mom? I'm 13. Do I just buy something like Monistat? And what if I use medication and I don't have a yeast infection?
(link)
Telling mom is good, she's older and probably has more experience with these things, According to Family Doctor (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=Yeast%2BInfections)
you should see your doctor if this is the first one. Don't be embarrased, because they're really common :)


I am very skinny and some people make jokes even my so call friends. I am 19 5'3 and my weight is 108. My friends say I need a body like them cause they are thick with ass and chest. I heard about caltine bars but where do you buy them. (link)
Honey, don't EVER let someone tell you that you need to be any different than you actually are!! Your friends have no right to tell you that however you are isn't good enough!

You may want to talk to a doctor to see if your weight is healthy (doctors are exampt from the not telling you to be differnt thing, because they spent a long-ass time learning how to take care of us, and they know how to not make you feel bad about it)


My friend heard something that she thought I said beacause this girl told her ex-boyfriend and she thought I said something bad about her, but I didn't say anything about her at all. How can I get her do understand that I didn't say it someone was just spreading rumors? (link)
Tell her that You would never say something bad about her and it was all a dumb rumor.


My teacher wants to make these sound videos that are not copyrighted. Well she tried this website called Garage Band that lets you make your own music but we can`t figure out how to do it. Does anyone know any websites where anyone can make their own music sounds? (link)
uhm... I didn't know there was an online garage band, but if you have the software (it comes with most macs, but I think you can buy it, I dunno if there's a PC version though...

Sorry I'm not much help...


Im a girl, so i already know i'll suck more at guitar then guys. But, i'd like to start getting into guitars because music is one of my passions. I have long slender fingers so will that be an advantage when playing guitar? Okay well my question is, i want to play the song "vermilion pt. 2" on guitar, and I think its acoustic. I looked up the tabs. It said acoustic i think. Well anyways i was looking up acoustic guitars on google, and i also looked up electric guitars. And acoustic guitars are ugly! So, whats the difference between acoustic and electric guitars? Electric looks easier, but i dont know much when it comes to guitar. Please let me know as much info as possible, from experience would be even better. Im a beginner (only played like a couple times and sucked). Thanks so much this is something i wanna get into. THANKS (link)
Just because you are a girl does NOT mean you'll suck at guitar, in comparision to anyone, and as a girl I'm vergeing on offended because of what you said, but you're probably just ignorant, so I'll let you slide.


there is a slight sound difference between the two, and electric is a tiny bit easier because you don't need to reach around the soundbox and it's just generally smaller.


Practice is important, if you don't practice you'll suck compared to guys AND girls.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker