Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84207
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so i'm getting a job at a bank for the summer, but i need to take a test. does anyone know what the test it like? thanks (link)
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NO, but I would imagine it will be in math. They may check your math accuracy, because you will be counting a lot of money, and they don't want you to give any away. The tellers have to balance out their cash drawers every day. If you are not balanced to often, then they will probably fire you. They may also want you to be very very polite.
Michele
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I get these horrible stomach aches all the time, Ive been to the doctors several times but they have not found anything. I can never hang out with my friends anymore because I'm afraid I'll get another stomach ache. I practicly have no life because I'm afraid to do anything because these stomach aches hurt so badly. I cant eat anything sweet anymore because I think thats what might be causing them. I dont know what to do, I never get out of the house anymore .. any tips to gettin over them. *p.s., some doctors are convinced its all in my head, but how do I get them out?* (link)
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Are you of mediteranian decent? There is this disease, and actually I hope you don't have it. It is very difficult to diagnose and one of the symptoms is stomache ache. GO on line and look up porphyria. It is a disease. Usually in people of European Decent.
Here are some of the symptoms
General Symptomology:
___Abdominal pain
___Abdominal tenderness
___Loss of appetite
___Nausea
___Vomiting
___Constipation
___Carbohydrate craving
___Breast secretions
___Diarrhea
___Partial ileus [Intestinal blockage]
___Abdominal distention
___Dysuria [Painful Urination]
___Bladder Dysfunction
___Urinary Retention
___Amenorrhea [Lack of menses]
Physical Findings of Acute Attack
___Red or dark urine
___Tachycardia [Pulse] >100
___Labile hypertension >90 diastolic [blood pressure]
___Fever [Pyrexia]
___Profused sweating
___Edema [Retention of fluids] [Swelling]
___Postural Hypotension [Low Blood Pressure]
___Hypertrichosis [excessive body hair growth]
___Hyperpigmentation [skin coloring]
It can be combined with skin problems, but you can also have it without the skin problems.
IF you think this sounds like you do some more research, print it out and bring it to the doctor.
The other thing that might be a problem is a yeast infection in your digestive tract. Which would get worse when you eat sugar, because yeast LOVES sugar. BUt that is easy to take care of you need to eat some good bacteria, the stuff that comes in Yogurt. Acidophollis, But, you can't eat yogurt because it has sugar, but you can get the capsuls at any health food store. Your parents should take you to see a naturpathic physician. They specialize in stomach disorders. And are much better than conventional doctors.
PS. Many years ago, before doctors recognized porphyria as a disease, they all thought it was in the patients heads too.
Hope this helps.
Michele
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Okay,so me and this guy have been together for about 10 months, and he is completely faithful to me, like he doesn't even talk to other girls hardly ever, and he never hangs out with any other girls but me. But the other night he went to a party last minute and was completely wasted, and girls showed up and one locked him into a bedroom with her and started coming onto him, they ended up having sex. I found out about this a few days later, and he completely regrets it and he siad he had really no clue what was really going on that it went fast. we broke up, but we sitll talks and he says he wants nothing more than to be with me.. and like hes not even that kind of guy.he's not forceful, aggressive, or anything in that naturee if u know what i mean? and i mean we really had something speciall and i dont know what to do.. just let him go or try and makes thigns work? what do u think
i'll rate high (link)
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Well the it sounds like he drinks too much, and he cannot control his impulses when he drinks. So if you forgive him it's like saying, yes I believe that you are not like that, and did not consciously cheat on me, but it also says that you don't expect him to be responsible for his actions when he drinks.
See if he will stop drinking, then maybe consider going back with him. But if he won't stop drinking and going to parties where anything goes, then I would not trust him.
MIchele
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okay so i'm a 14/f, and i'm really into my best friends brother. they are step brother and sister, so they are the same age and in the same school, since they live together. her brother and i talk, and we don't like each other, but we just both think each other is attractive. my friend is getting very angry at the fact that i talk to her brother. i don't see why she is so mad - but she is almost forcing us to not talk to him. how can i confront her about this? i really want to continue talking to him and just treat him as another one of my friends - but my best friend is telling me that i'm going to far. what can i do to help the situation? (link)
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Well I can't tell you what to do, but I will tell you how your friend may feel. She is very aware that this boy is her step brother, they are not really related by blood. But she has been raised to believe that they are step brother and sister do not like each other in any way other than brother and sister. (THe reason for this is it makes the parents feel better.)
So she may feel, that if she can't have him, she doesn't want any of here friends to go out with him. If a good friend of hers dated her brother she would get to learn more about him that maybe she wants to know. I would suggest that you be a person of character and respect your friends wishes. Eventually she will believe that you are not after him and she will relax and you will at least be able to acknowlege each other (you and the step brother) without her having a fit. Also, she may grow out of it.
Michele
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I have these big bee-stung lips...they are so poofy and ughhhh I hate them..is there any way to make my lips look thin like normal people?? (link)
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Are you kidding? Don't you look at magazines. Puffy lips are in. Bee stung, that is an old term, but it is appropriate. Keep them moist and shiny with gloss. They well get a lot of attention. Be proud of them. Look an Angelina Joli. Anyway, women are paying a fortune for puffy lips they get with restalayen and collegen injections. And they don't even look nice. Yours are natural. You are lucky. Flaunt them
MIchele
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the thing is..i already sort of learned about the 50s 60s and 70s at school *which is why she is mad*. we haven't learned the 70s yet but still. (link)
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Well, all I can tell you is this. The people who run camps...well, they take classes on how to keep kids entertained, and have fun. THey want you all to have FUN, they need you all to have FUN, if you guys all hated camp, your parents wouldn't pay them money so you could go. So, they have the secret to keeping you all amused. And hey IT"S NOT HOME. SO that makes it even better. If it is true that you are not good at computers, I think that the camp counselor, who will be teaching the course, may take an interest in you, and show you how to do it better. AFter all, you are on the computer now. And you download music, or don't you. When you get to the computer class, why not ask the counselor about things you are interested in learing about computers. I mean it should be a relaxed atmospher, it is camp after all, not school. Less pressure, more flexibility and more fun.
Hope you have a wonderful summer.
Michele
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i'm going to a summer camp right and my mom just randomely signed me up for computer programming. i seriously DO NOT want to do it...first of all because i have no interest whatsoever in it and second of all...well i'm just bad at all this computer stuff. i DON'T WANT TO DO IT AT ALL! ok so i switched classes then to this history class about the 50s 60s and 70s. i heard that it was lot of fun. then my mom found out bc i told her and she got mad at me! i'm sorry but i don't want to do computer programming! how can i persuade her that i just do not want to do it! (link)
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I don't know why your mom would do that. It's just camp, after all. I think a course in teh 50's 60's, and 70's would be really interesting. So many things happened in those years. 1960's especially.
War, assassinations, man on the moon, racial riots, rock and roll, the beatles, flower children, president Nixon resigning.
Usually kids are not interested in history at all, I think it is great that you are. Instead of saying you DOn't want totake the computer class, because for some reason she thinks you should. Tell her how facinated you are about history, and mention all the things Ijust said, she will be impressed and maybe think to herself, that she should encourage your interest in history.
Whatever course you end up taking, I think the camp instructors have figured out a way to make any one of them very interesting. After all they have to keep you kids interested and out of trouble, or they will be in trouble.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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my best friend is perfect. she is absolutely gorgoues. she is tall and athletic. she goes to the best private school in the city and is REALLY smart. she can make friends with anyone she wants to. and she can get any guy she wants too. i can't get those things. i'm ok looking, pretty smart i guess, short, not very athletic, i can make friends with some people, and i most definitely cannot get any guy i want. it's so annoying, all the guys i like always go after her, and it's not like my friend even makes them go after her either. she never goes out with them because i like them but she is so perfect! i can't stand it! but i love her because she's so funny and nice and just great to be around! how can i stop! (link)
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I know what you are going through. It hurts to not be noticed. My best friend and I, growing up, she had a sister that was gorgeous. She always wanted to hang with us. Whenever we were out, guys would just ignore us and talk to her.She wasn't nice though, like your friend.
If she is as nice as you say she is, you have to take that very seriously. She is your friend. It is not her fault that guys are jerks. And that is the way it is. Young guys have no class, and no manners. They don't realize the way they behave. I know that if you are patient, you will meet some wonderful guy or guys who think you are perfect.It is just that that kind of stuff doesn't happen until you are older. It is just the way nature is.
I hope your friend has more going for her than just her looks. In the long run,the girls who "couldn't get any guy they wanted". and had to pay attention to education, end up much better off, and usually find a wonderful man to spend the rest of their lives with. After all,you only need one, and none of the guys you are meeting now are interested in settling down.
In addition. when I went to my High school 30 year class reunion. I was so surprised to see the girls that I thought for sure would have been happily married to millionaires with lots of kids and money and a husband who worshipped them, but no, they ended up being just bar flies, with lousy jobs, and two of them had just moved back home with mom. AT 48!!!
So don't wish that on your friend if she is as nice as you say she is. Just love her, and be the best friend you can be. Pay a lot of attention to getting your education. You will meet some wonderful guy someday, and this will all seem like a bad dream. It's just your age and the maturity level of the guys that you are meeting. It will get better.
Michele
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i have a lot of moles. and i hate it. i look at myself every day in the mirror and i just see all these hideous black moles looking back at me. and i HATE it!!! i have A LOT...seriously i do, on my face and arms especially. my parents say nobody notices but guess what, they DO VERY WELL! but they say i'm being too self-concious and i'm making a big deal out of nothing. but seriously EVERYONE NOTICES!! (i have so much proof and some have even told me, nicely). how can i get rid of moles? i don't really want to do surgery but is there a type of makeup? coverup? anything? (link)
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Well of course there is cover up, but it is so thick. I don't think you would like it. There are fade creams, and gels, but they work very slowly, and are expensive. You should avoid the sun because they will get darker. It is too bad that your parents are not more understanding. My son had a lot of moles on his back,and even though he was young and did not care at that point, the physician said they needed to be removed because too many of them have the potential to turn into cancer. There is a lot of research on the internet about moles and cancer.Find an article aboutit and show it to your parents. Ask them if at least, could you all go to a dermatologist and get an expert opinion. He/She will be more sympathetic to your situation also. Then say that you will abide by what the doctor recommends.
You can try microdermabrasion and glycolic face peals. The formulas you can buy in the health and beauty departments of an drug store will be good to try. Try them once, if you don't see any fading, then I would say that they won't work.
Hope this helps.
Michele
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Whats a fast results, easy way to lose jiggle in my butt and thighs? (link)
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YOu're in luck, a new book just came out called THe Little Butt and Thighs Workout Book, by Erika Dillman. It got a high rating on this diet web site. Also go to this website they have lots of free info about weight loss and exercise.
http://exercise.about.com/od/weightloss/gr/littlebuttthigh.htm
Michele
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Hey i gotta question on my column my Rating isnt showin up?? How is that possible ive been rated more then 5times. Chek it out my column name is JAMESBAYBIGURL lol its crazy anywun have any help?
-StephAnie (link)
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The changed the format. Unless you also receive a "comment" You won't see your rating in the feedback. You can see it if you click on the Your Feedback Link on the home page, after you have signed in, I mean
Michele
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I have never smoked and this is my first time smokeing. I smoked 3 full ciggs. Can that make you sick or will I be okay??? (link)
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All good advice. There are other kinds of cancer also,that you can get from smoking. Stomache cancer, a very painful way to die.
Mouth cancer, they end up having to remove part of you jaw,and then you are disfigured for life, if the lung cancer doesn't kill you. Throat cancer, they have to remove your esophogas and part of your throat, then you have to breath AND talk through a hole in your throat. For the rest of your life. Actually a little machine helps you to talk, because they also have to remove your voice box. You'll sound like a robot. And then you have to consider the expense. Most people, once they become addicted, which takes a few weeks. Begin to smoke more and more, they usually end up with a three pack a day habit. Cigaretts cost about $5.00 a pack now. Of course the cost will go up during your life time, so that is $15.00 a day, 7 days a week. 365 days a year equals $5,475.00 a year. Ummm, idk, do you have a job? Does it pay well? I hope so. Oh yes, and good insurance. Also, smokers find it hard to get life insurance. They also find it hard to socialize, because nobody wants them around. Oh sure, at the age of 13, 14, it's acceptable, because you all want to be grown up right. And what could make you more grown up than smoking?
Michele
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hey, thanks for your adice about the baby and my bf i really appreciated it. i do plan on keeping the baby, but im not sure about finishing high school. im going to try my hardest to do what i can. my mom supports me, but my dad still hasnt accepted it. thanks for listening (link)
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No problem honey, Any time you want to talk, just leave a message in my in box. Take care of yourself. Expect that you will be very emotional for the next few months. Just go with it, put on some heartbreaking music and just cry. You will feel better afterwards. Good luck with the baby.
Michele.
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My Chest and Back area had been braking out this summer realy bad. My Hair is realy oily and i think that is why. Anyways...
Last Night I bought Clean&Clear (Daily Cleansing Pads). I used it and this morning its dry but still showing bad and i see lil dots so that means more acne! Has anyone ever used this or known/know someone who has? How long does it take? It says Daily Cleansing Pads but does anyone do it more than once? HELP IM GOING TO THE BEACH IN A COUPLE DAYS AND I DONT WANT TO LOOK LIKE A *F*R*E*A*K*!!!!
-13/f-
Signed,---
---Freak (link)
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Hi,
Well,I am an esthetician (skin care specialits) and I can tell you, that if you product works or not, you won't know for 28 days. Your skin changes every 28 days. Yes there are new pimples starting, that won't be eliminted until they come to the surface and are treated. Continue to use the Clean and Clear. If in 30 days, it is not working, you have to try anothe product Also use a loofa sponge, or some sort of fiber sponge, that feels scratchy, to exfoliate dead skin cells. And keep the area clean, bacteria is a major cause of acne. If your hair is oily, your skin is oily also. Wash your hair a lot and keepit up off your skin.
If the clean and clear doesn't work, and I don't know what the ingredients are, off the top of my head. Please try a product that contains benzoil peroxide, and/or salisylic acid. (spelling?) or both. Please remember this. Acne cannot be cured, it can only be managed. You have to stay on top of it or it will come back. The sun is good for acne. I am not sure that sun tan lotions and/or sun screens are good for acne, they may aggravate it. If possible look for a lotion that is "non=comodogenic" which means it doesn't clog pores. And take heart, you will grow out of it some day. Even though that doesn't help you today
Michele
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im 16 years old and 8 months pregnant..my boyfriend ..which is the father and is 19..wont have anything to do with me..he wont even touch me anymore yea he comes over every now and then but he doesnt stay long..it breaks my heart because i love him so much..he says he loves me but it definately doesnt feel like it..what can i do? (link)
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Hi honey,
I hope that you are not alone. And that your family of supportive of you to keep this baby. What you find yourself in is a situation that so many girls your age, who get pregnant...find themselves in. Young boys are not interested in being in love and raising children at their age.
Mostly they are interested in sports and sex. And for the most part, they don't even make an effort to hide the fact that, that is all they are interested in. If things were different, you would see an awful lot of young, very young married couples. But you don't you just see many many baby mama's.
You have something very important to think about. ANd it's that baby. That baby already has too many strikes against it because his parents are not married and his mom is still a child herself.
You love this boy because you are scared and you feel alone, and you feel a connection to him because you gave him everything that a young girl has to give. You gave completely and he just took and gave nothing back. The best thing you can do is forget him. I know you love him, but how can you love someone who had treated you so badly. The best thing you can get out of him is weekly child support and hopefully he will visit his child. If he wants to please do not interfere with that. A child needs both parents. It is not necessary that they be married, it is only necessary that they both love the baby and respect each other.
Please write back and let me know what your plans are. Do you have family support? Do you plan to kee this baby? Are you going to finish school? (I hope so that is very important.)
I know that you did not ask for this, and I also know that it is not entirely your fault, but the laws and reality is this....you are that baby's moma, and that baby is going to need it's moma, even if that baby's moma, would rather be having the same life that her friends without babies are having. I hope you are strong enough to get through this. There are too many children out there who were born to parents who were not capable of taking care of them.
Please, it is time to put your feelings for this guy in the back of your heart, and start to have feelings for this baby and plans for both of your futures
Michele
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Me and My friend want to do hot oil treatments, what exactly do we need and what are some step-by-step instructions to doin them? We'll rate! :) (link)
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You can use olive oil it works great. Warm it up in a micro wave. Careful, check it first not too hot. Even one minute heating in micro may be too long. Make sure you have enough oil based on the length of your hair. Wrap up in warm towel. You can heat that in micro too, or use the dryer.
Keep hair wrapped for 1/2 hour. then wash with shampoo. If you have long thick hair you may have to wash twice.
You hair will feel great, and be very shiny.
Michele
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ok my girlfriend has a abusive dad. hes always drunk and beating her. yesturday when i was visiting my girl, he was beating her up, i just got really mad. i couldnt control my self and i pushed him away. and i guess he was drunk and i was really angry he would beat up katy like that, but i beat him up pretty bad. am i right? (link)
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Yes you are very right, but what is the next step. If he is a controling jerk, he won't want her to see you any more. He is in a position of power, he is the dad and the breadwinner and it's his house and she is a minor child, ( I am guessing). You know you can get in more trouble for hitting him (arrest for assult) than he can for hitting his daughter (domestic violence.) The assult between people un-related is a larger offense. Hopefully it is over, and he won't do it again, and he will lay off Katy, and she can set a goal to get out of that house as soon as possible. But if he does anything like this again, don't hit him, call the police.You are a witness. The evidence of her injuries are there, it is enough to get him arrested. I hope there is a mother in the house too. If he is the only parent, and they determin that she cannot stay with him and she is a minor, they may put her in a foster home. So I hope this won't happen.
You are a hero. It is good of you to help your girlfiend, I don't blame you for getting mad. He had it coming, but please don't get yourself in trouble. Call the police next time.
Michele
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16/f Okay, ive known this guy for like ever..he wants me to give him head..i I reallly wanna, but im kinda scared. Like i dk if I should or know. Hes never had it before..so can i still get anything?..plz help!! I rate ALL awnsers 5s!! ;) thx so much! (link)
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YOu really wanna? Well honey I know there are about a million guys would be happy to let you give them head also. And when you give head to this "friend" of yours....and he tells everyone how great it was. Then a million more guys will line up. Look honey, head is all one sided, it is only for the guys. It only pleasures them, and how do you know he is clean, I mean, he pisses with that thing. If you do it after school, great, he won't have even showered since the AM. Great smell and taste. DOn't do this. YOu will be sorry, you will get a reputation, and then all the guys will like you for one reason. Save that kind of stuff for when you get married, Head I mean, and oral sex. Don't waste it on someone who just wants to use you.
And YES, you can get diseases from oral sex.
Herpes, cold sores in and on your mouth. AIDS, Hepatitis, and many more
Michele
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13/f
i feel kind of weird asking this but here is my problem/question:
i have to go to the doctors in a few days because i am going to another country and i need a physical before i leave. i will be swimming a lot were i am going and i want to shave my bikini area....first i want to know does your doctor say anything about shaving that area? and second i got bought nair and it says trim the hair before you use it. do i have to trim it with anything special?
please dont waste your time writing rude responses but if you really do help, then thanks! (link)
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Nair disolves the hair and it does a better job if there is less hair. So use a sharp pair of scissors and trim the hair so that it is shorter.
I think you are going to the doctor for a general physicial. While you may have to strip down to your underware, he shouldn't do more than check your stomach and liver by pressing into your side, to see if your liver is enlarged or extended. Check your lungs, and reflexes. YOu may have to give a urine sample. YOu may have to get some shots, and I hope that doesn't upset you.
Only a gynocologist can examine you internally. So don't fret.
MIchele
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I have this habbit. Its like i start to like a guy and then he starts to like me back..and i dont really like him anymore. its like playing tag..its fun to chase them but once they stop running the fun is over. does anyone have any ideas on how to break this habbit??!?!
i rate high on good ideas*
thanks! (link)
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This is normal for your age. Young people say thtey want long term relationships. They want to have a b/f or g/f and go steady, buy in reality they just want to get to know as many people as they can. It's fun. It will change when you become young adults. Then it is more beneficial to have long term relationships, and really get to know each other
Michele
So there is nothing wrong with you. But if you are still like this say in your 30's, then you have a problem.
M
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