A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 6 months now,and she wants me to take her virginity.I want to do it but i keep telling myself to wait till im about 17.....but on the other hand i don't want to get drunk at a party sometime and lose my virginity the wrong way.What should i do? (link)
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We cannot advise you to have sex. You're underage and so is she, so while it's not really illegal, it's highly frowned upon and it is illegal for us to tell you to do anything other than abstain.
I will, however, state directly that having sex because you're worried you might get drunk and do it "the wrong way" is pretty fucking stupid. It's things like this that are why we tell teens not to have sex. Because your overall judgment is terrible.
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waht are puppymills? becasue i read a sign in a petstore that sayd they dont buy from them :\ (link)
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An irresponsible breeder.
Most breeders have a set number of litters per dog which do not tax the animal's ability to be healthy. They only breed as many dogs as the can sell and ensure homes for, and generally breed dogs of sufficient caliber that they end up desired and snapped up quickly.
Puppy mills, by comparison, overbreed in order to always have puppies available. They breed dogs to the furthest extents of their endurance and biology, and cannot afford anything like humane conditions for the animals because of the numbers they deal with. When puppies go unsold they often end up on the streets, or in animal shelters. Puppy mills advertise dogs like a commodity instead of a living breathing animal, sell them that way, and treat them like a product you cram onto a shelf. Many states have laws addressing the practice or are enacting them, there was a puppy mill in my city which got shut down by animal control for having over two hundred puppies crammed into space for about twenty. Many were sick and dying because of the lack of demand in the local area for puppies (rural areas always have plenty of free pets from farm pets who breed and such)
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ok so this is the problem a month ago tommorow i started dating this guy. he treats me like a saint. he says he loves me and his brother and father tell me how good i am for him.in fact that after his life went downhill, im the only thing to make him happy, but im unhappy. im not physically attracted to him. and i kno thats shallow, but he likes to be very physical. today this guy i really like asked me out, i said yes w/o thinking. i really dont want ot hurt the guy im with now. and i refuse to cheat. im so confused and hurting inside like u would not believe. he did nothing to deserve this, its just i felt like i was smothering. maybe im wrong. i kno i am, that i should be able to make myself love him the way he does me, but i cant... i just cant. god please help me, and tell me what to do. im soo confused (link)
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You like someone else.
A month isn't enough time to have anything like a real relationship. Honestly, I'd be honest. Tell him that you care about him alot, but that you've been into this other guy since long before you met him, and this guy just asked you out. Tell him that you can't divide your heart between two guys and the truth is that you fell for this other guy first and never got over it, and you can't dedicate yourself to someone else when you have this open question in your life that you've been wanting to answer for a long time.
That follows into the "It's not you, it's me" breakup. You are not the type to cheat, but you can't be emotionally faithful to him like this, and you have to find out if this guy and you can be something, or you'll always be asking yourself "what if"
Apologize, offer to talk with him about it if he wants, but be final in your decision. This is crucial, you can't waver. If you try to break up and fail, you'll have destroyed the relationship anyway and then things will just end later after a ton of fighting and resentment. Be sure you know what you're doing and are committed to it before you bring the subject up.
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OK THERES THIS BOY THAT I WENT OUT WITH LIKE A MONTH AGO(HIS NAME IS BEN) AND I MEAN HE WAAS GREAT AND STUFF BUT I LIKED MY NEIGHBOR EVEN THOUGH IM NOT GETTING ANYWHERE WITH HIM I LOVE HIM STILL BUT I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR BEN ,BUT KNOW HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND BUT IM THE TYPE OF GIRL THAT LOOKS ON THE OUTSIDE OF A BOY FIRST AND BEN JUST WASNT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT ON THE INSIDE HE WAS NOW YOUR PROABABLY GOING OT SAY LOOKS DONT MATTER AND THEY MATTER TO ME BECAUSE I DESERVE A HOT GUY LIKE MY NEIGHBOR BUT HE IS JUST NOT LIKE BEN IN THE INSIDE? (link)
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You don't deserve anything. No one does. Relationships don't work on the concept of "deserve" the work on the concept of "I am able to attract this or that specific person and that person is someone who I am also attracted to and interested in"
Guys are not objects. We aren't "a hot guy you deserve", we're people with desires, attractions, turn offs, and everything else you have. We want to be appreciated as people, and not pursued as "a standard you think the world owes you"
No, he's not like Ben on the inside. No two people are a like on the inside. And by the way, you date people because of what's on the inside. The outside is merely there to facilitate the desire to fuck each other. As long as you both want that, it's everything ELSE that makes a relationship.
The neighbor probably is ignoring you like the child you're honestly acting like. Under 16 (I'm guessing from the all caps I'm about to report you for, no offense) and entitled. You aren't entitled to anything, relationships are something you deserve because another person cares enough about you to say you deserve one with them, and for no other reason.
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I watch my boyfriends five year old little girl she tells me no she isnt going to do something and she wont. today she threw a cookies on the floor i thought it was an acident so pick them up. then goes a can of chip... alittle fishy i clean them up again. next goes her pizza and all her food on her plate... this time i catch her she is doing it on purpose. i tell her five mins of time out she says no.... i say it three more times nicely and she says no. i give her a choice time out or bed time she says neither. so i pick her up take her to the bed room i dont loose my temper i do it calmy and tell her i will see her in the morning goodnight then walk out.
she screams kicks throws stuff now i am mad i hear things falling and hitting the wall... i go in tell her to get into bed and go to sleep now. she jumps in bed then she starts kicking and sreaming begging me no bed time.
I decide its way to early for bed but she can sit in there for 15 mins if she is good she can get up and try again.
15 mins later she is till throwing a fit so i say ok 7 oclock go to bed fine with me. finaly she calms down.
but i have had these fits before and the same results the end in bed time or nap time. i would throw it up to her just being tired but it cant just be that they happen 30 mins after nap time when she is wound up.
how do i deal with this with out spanking.. ignoring this behavoir isnt safe or possible... help me...... (link)
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The first thing, honestly, that I would do is establish physical dominance. This is easy, she's 5, and the process is as simple as physically not allowing her to do anything. Take her into the bed room, sit down, pull her into your lap, and keep her there. If she tries to fight, gently hold her arms to keep her from hitting/grabbing things. Patiently tell her that she's going to do what you want, or you're going to sit there in the room with her and let her be bored until she falls asleep every night that she doesn't listen to you.
Then follow through.
The second thing is throwing away the bartering. You're being too nice. "Will you do this if I do this" sort of thing. She's 5, you don't bargain with 5 year olds you dictate to them. Again, calmly.
The secret here that you're missing is that you've already shown her that you're scared. She throws her fits because she wants what she wants and it sometimes gets her the results she needs. When she eats, watch her. If she throws the food down on the floor, take the food away and inform her that when she is hungry enough to eat without acting out and behaving badly, that she can ask you if she can eat again.
Spanking is not necessary. You don't have the authority for it to be anything other than a blow, she won't see it as discipline.
One of the best child discipline tools ever invented is the IPOD, by the way. Because it gives you a way to entertain yourself endlessly while you ensure the child is doing what they're supposed to, or bored out of their mind when you sit there through their discipline with them. It also underlines your status as an adult. You aren't punishing yourself, just her.
Last, to counter the negative side, come up with positive rewards for good behavior. All of the "rewards" should be given on the next visit, not the one she's in. You want her to get the idea that being good gets her good things, but you don't want good things to be instant gratification. If you show her that being good all one day gets her something she'll like the next time, that gets her thinking about the future. It can be something simple like going to a park, or something fun like going to a movie or something that she'd like.
Also, if she misbehaves during a reward activity, that should bring harsher punishments. The activity ends immediately, you take her home even if she's kicking and screaming, and you take her right back to that bed room where you sit with her in your lap until she's so bored she falls asleep and you just while away the hours listening to U2 or some other band which will soothe your frustration.
Last, addressing it with the boyfriend is a GOOD idea, but you need to establish your dominance as an adult on your own. She already doesn't behave because he expects her to with you, that likely won't change much.
But, there's a bit of a secret weapon you can employ. Cameras with video recording capacity aren't all that expensive these days. The next time she throws a tantrum, grab the camera and record the whole thing.
Then the next time she throws one, pull out the video and put it on and make her watch it with you. Then calmly explain to her why all of the things she's doing aren't going to get her what she wants, and tell her that if she continues to throw tantrums you're going to record them all.
Match actions to words.
Someone said that you can and should be stern. This is true to a point, but even that shows the kid that she can affect you. 5 year olds are designed to push everything, it's how they grow. That's why adults have to put and adhere to boundaries.
You have to be Everest. Tall, unconquerable, immovable, peaceful. Children read adults like books, not even consciously most of the time, and if she reads that there's nothing she can do to get her way over you, she'll back off and respect that.
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Okay, my brother just went to jail 2 days ago for being charged with Stachatory rape. Here's the story. My brother was believed to be 20 or 19 when he had sex with this girl (who was 15 at the time) they were at a party where an adult served minors with alcohol. My brother does not remember ever touching this girl. Well she got pregnant and had the baby Dec 16 2009. when the baby was 4 months old, they sued my brother for custody. but he said it wasn't his, so they did a DNA test, and it was. now the baby is 5 months pregnant and now they arrested my brother for stachatory rape. Now with the girl who is 16 now, wanted my brother in the baby's life, but the parents want him arrested, what's the consquense for my brother?? We live in Pennsylvania. (link)
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First things first. Your brother is screwed. The case is open and shut, and even a great lawyer isn't going to get the charges dropped. The DA has all the evidence he needs to convict and will do so regardless of the girls parents wishes at this point, even though those wishes will also likely not change.
They've already said the possible outcome. Up to 20 years in prison.
Second. Get rid of this posting. Dangernerd's e-mail should be on the contact page or FAQ, e-mail him and have this posting removed. Then go anywhere else online you've asked this question and delete it there too. You're not doing your brother any favors by posting this stuff up places.
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How do i set limits on lending someone money? My ex-boyfriend and best friend is a great guy (wonderful) but he borrows money frequently. He will borrow money weekly if he thinks I have any cash.
He borrows large and small amounts; he simply asks for whatever amount he thinks (or discovers) I have and that he needs. I often forget all the 10 20 30 dollar loans so sometimes he pays money back and sometimes he does not. He currently owes me over a thousand.
He got really angry when I once asked him to sign a repayment agreement, so thats not an option. He expresses frustration if I try to give him a check rather than cash. I always try to avoid talking about money with him, but if i do or if he knows I have purchased any item for more than twenty bucks, he will comment that I must be doing okay financially and can he borrow money?
I did borrow money from him once about five years ago when I was unemployed and ill; he said it was a gift, but I decided we could take it off what he owed me from a year earlier. (this infuriated him- he wanted it to be a gift.)
I want to maintain our friendship because i enjoy his companionship. However, last week i lent him another five hundred and he wanted even more... it is too stressful. I told him I dont want to loan him anymore money. Today he called for another hundred.
I am a single mom with three college age kids. My 17 year old is still at home, and I spend more on my friend than i do on my daughter... this borrowing has got to stop. how can i set limits?? (link)
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::Edit::
You've said you don't understand. It's not that hard, but you're confused because you feel cared for.
The anger though, is telling. The second you tried accountability, he got angry. That's the sign of an overt manipulator. In other words, he's acted however he has to act to make you think he's a great person. It's just effort to him, another manipulation. He makes you feel wanted and cared for, he gets money. Direct trade in his mind, probably to the degree that he's justified it.
You've got one of two people on your hands. A guy who is a cold, calculating manipulator who's not invested in you in the slightest and is consciously using you, and an asshole who sees his affection and the money as equal trade because he's giving something he doesn't care about and getting what he wants out of you, and thinks that it's a fair deal. He's invested in you to the degree that he wants you to be OK enough to give him what he wants.
The second is much more likely, because a manipulator will bail the second things get difficult to deal with, and the asshole will actively try to maintain his side of the relationship thinking that he's doing the right thing.
Stop letting yourself be used.
That's what he's doing. Whatever you think about the companionship, the companionship exists because he can get you to loan him 500 without any form of signature or documents and never have to pay it back.
He's milking you for all he can get.
The best thing to do at this point, is to cut him off entirely. Consider the loaned money an expensive lesson in how humans can selfishly behave, and do not ever speak to him again.
Anything else, and you'll just get used more. If you "set limits" he'll create his own life crises that you empathize with that he needs the money for. He will exploit you for as long as you allow it.
Why do you still allow it?
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So last year I had my first serious boyfriend, I fell head over hills, lost my virginity, and after a year I realized he wasn't the guy for me and I had made a mistake. I was forced into a lot of things with him. Not physically as much as mentally. He'd guilt trip me, get angry and ignore me, fight with me, say I didn't love him if I didn't do things with him. One time at his friends house he locked me in the bathroom with him until I did stuff with him. I started crying so he let me out but refused to talk to me the rest of the night. So, I broke up with him a few months ago. I recently started dating this guy, he's been my best friend since eighth grade. I'm a junior he's a senior. I really like him and he respects me and treats me right. He doesn't force me into doing things I don't wanna do.
If I feel uncomfortable he won't make me do things.
So anyway. I have been dating him since March we have done somethings but not sex. Well recently I've been thinking about maybe in the distant future having sex with him. I thought about it for a while. I started crying, I feel so traumatized I feel like if I have sex he's going to end up like my ex. I feel afraid to do it again, I'm scared that things will end badly and that I'll end up regretting it because things were so terrible, I felt obligated and guilty in my last relationship. My boyfriend says I shouldn't feel like I have to do anything I don't want to. But, I don't know, why do I feel so traumatized from this? Is this normal? Like I feel so depressed about it, I feel traumatized and I don't want to effect what happened in my last relationship to effect what happens in my new one. I really like him and I don't know what I should do really, what should I do? Should I tell him? Is there anyway I can get rid of this feeling? (link)
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::Edit::
Not in school, you'll need to google for therapists in your area. Literally just google the word "therapists" and your zip code and it should bring up something. There are plenty of websites which are designed to put you in touch with counselors.
Call a few. See if any of them offer a free consult. If any do, go see them. If not, consider for a while and talk to anyone (like parents) who might be able to help get you what you need.
If you're in a city sized area, there's a good chance there are therapists who will work on a sliding need-based scale somewhere nearby, who can get subsidies for helping someone with limited means to cover the costs you can't. Look into it, and if one therapist can't help you there's a good chance they might be able to refer you to someone who can, or to someone who can refer you again. The therapy community isn't overly large, and usually someone you talk to can at least help you figure out someone else who can help.
::/Edit::
A number of the things you described could easily fall under the label "rape". There is absolutely _NOTHING_ wrong with the reactions you are feeling. They are absolutely normal in someone who has been taken advantage of.
First, you need to think about talking to a therapist. Since you're 16, a school counselor might be a good first step in getting there. I know it's difficult, if you can't share what happened, then you can at least talk to them about finding a professional to talk to without telling them why.
Second, no, you don't have to live with this. Getting help can and with time generally does make things better for someone who's been through what you've been through.
Third, with the understanding that you need someone to listen to you, not a knight to get angry about it and want to fix the problem himself (guys usually jump at the chance to champion women they care about) you might want to consider talking to your boyfriend.
It's important right now that you make your own decisions. But I know at 16 you don't really know which way to turn. Look into therapy. Seriously. A therapist who's trained in this stuff can help you figure out exactly what's going on with you and help you find some resolution.
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I recently started the pill(almost two months ago), so I'm still spotting.
However, last night I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom (we're both clean when it comes to STDs and so on; both been tested) and I'm slightly worried whether the pill is still effective, even if you're spotting?
Thanks! (link)
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Two months is enough for any pill. If you're on progestin only (unlikely) they take exactly one month to be effective and if you miss a pill you can put yourself in danger.
Most pills proscribed however are dual hormone progestin and estrogen. These are the pills where you can miss one and still be protected, and are usually effective about a week after you start.
All pills, however, if taken correctly are supposed to protect you all month long.
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what does trippin balls mean? (link)
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It's a reference to drug use, specifically psychedelics.
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i used to smoke weed every day for months, but got a DUI for it so i quit/gave it up.
i have not smoked for about 11 days and have been drinking LOTS of water!
i was just curious on peoples opinions as to how long it would take for me to be clean??
i am 18 years old. i weigh 90 lbs and am 5'0.
thanks.
(link)
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Depending on the frequency of smoking, one to three weeks for urine to be clean and somewhere between one to three months for bloodwork.
THC is stored in fat cells, of which you have few to none. So for the most part once your blood is cleared out you'd probably test negative, and it takes a very predictable amount of time.
In addition to the water, exercise. Burning fat cells and using energy also helps release stored THC into your system into the blood stream for you to filter out faster.
Don't worry too much about the water though. There's a limit to how fast you can get it out, as I said, and so there's a point at which you're just going to be peeing water and not helping the situation. Instead of drinking tons of water, just drink a normal 8 oz glass every two hours every day.
Last, there are home tests for your urine. Usually sold by your local head shop, maybe CVS. Find one and buy some, they might come in handy.
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My friends are ALL talking about Justin Bieber's interview today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkKqihEUmH4&feature=player_embedded
Here is a link to the youtube video if you haven't seen it.
So since he doesn't even know what the word German means even when he reads it off a card, why are all my friends still crazy about him? I was the only one who thought he sounded like a girl and had stupid scene hair. Now he shows he is a moron and they just "think it is cute!" AWWW! I could vomit.
Can you tell me why morons with stupid hair are sexy? I don't get it.
I will rate you! (link)
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Congratulations.
You are one of the few women in your generation who will be capable of making intelligent relationship decisions before you're 25, bitter, and used by all the idiots who act just like him (only a little older) and get laid because people in general have no taste or standards.
The trade of is that the depression you feel observing your friends be idiots will only deepen when you're dating a great guy and they're still crying over assholes and idiots and you start to wonder if you're the only intelligent person you know.
The truth is, he's an average looking 16 year old who's skinny enough to not automatically be dismissed and who's been put on TV. You think that's bad, hold on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYhfjaUCsZE
Check that out. It's his "screensaver". Someone linked this in another forums I frequent, and if you thought you felt bad before wait until you see this.
The kid's so arrogantly full of himself it's honestly sickening, because if someone hadn't decided to showcase him on TV he'd literally be nothing but another average 16 year old worried he's going to graduate high school a virgin. Or just another asshole who girls laugh at because his head his bigger than a hot air balloon and full of identical substances.
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My baby will be three and a half months old next week and he is my first. My husband and I don't want to have any more children for another 3 or 4 years, at least, and so I've been breastfeeding our little boy. My mom told me that you can't get pregnant if you are breastfeeding and that I should breastfeed for as long as I can to put off getting pregnant or having to go on birth control pills again. Then, I saw a link on some breastfeeding moms site I was looking at about a woman who got pregnant while breastfeeding her 2 month old.
Is getting pregnant while nursing common? I mean, I've been having unprotected sex with my husband ever since I was able to do it again with him, thinking that I am safe. I haven't had my first period yet since giving birth but I thought that was normal and now I'm scared I might be pregnant and that my mom was totally wrong.
So, what are the chances of getting pregnant while breastfeeding? (link)
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Yes, you can. Make an appointment with your gyno to talk about non-hormonal types of birth control. In the interim, it sucks, but back to condoms and/or spermicide.
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I would like to become a psychologist (Child) in Brisbane, Australia and I wanted to get into QUT (Queensland University of Technology).. I'm excluding the other possibilities, such as studying the Bach of Science or Bach of Art, of becoming a certified psychologist who will be able to open up my own practice.
They (QUT) dont offer Bach of Psychological Science, but they offer Bach of Behavioural Science (Psychology).. So I was wondering, even though Bach of Behavioural Science is for 3 years, and not 4 years, like the other options.. With that degree, would I be able to fulfill my dreams, and become a certifies Psychologist? And then do 2 years of supervised practise to get my Masters.
Is this possible? I was trying to find some info on this stuff on the QUT site, but it just throws me about..
Thank you! (link)
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You need to check with your Masters program. Generally speaking, all that matters is what they require, which is likely going to be the 4 year degree. It's possible that the other degree might serve, it's possible that in 4 years you could get both if enough classes overlap and you can just take a few summer courses or something.
But the answer is with the colleges you will apply to for your masters program. Find out what the post grad group wants, because you might even have one school which takes the 3 years and another that requires the 4.
It's likely though, that some might allow the 3 years and most will accept the 4, so going with the 4 year degree is likely (statistically) to be the safer option.
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Hi , I was wondering what happens if you do not have sex or masturbate for a long a period ? is it unhealthy for the sexual organs ? like make them inert or inactive or something ? (link)
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If you're a girl, nothing will happen. If you're a guy, the normal and highly likely end result from zero sexual activity is wet dreams. Nocturnal emission is highly common in men who take no other action to vent what sex drive they have.
Other than that, no, not really.
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19/f.
I'm still a virgin but I'm planning to have sex soon. The thing is i've been on birth control probably for 2yrs now for my period and other things. I'm afraid that the guy will be like "ohhh we don't need a condom your on birth control!" but I definitely want to be as safe as I can and use both. I know the guy shouldn't care if I asked him, but I'm a bit worried. What if we're in the moment and I'm like wait do you have a condom? And he's like no, we don't need one. I'd feel like a total idiot but I'm not doing it without one!! I know guys hate wearing them but better then getting pregnant right? :)
So basically, how can I convince him (if he doesn't want to, i'm not sure yet..) to wear a condom even though I'm still on birth control?
thanks!!:) (link)
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Drop the STD line.
First, you haven't said "boyfriend" or "dating" once. So that makes me think you're not going to be dating the guy you sleep with (yet?).
In that case, the RULE is "no glove no love". He's not your boyfriend. If he doesn't want to use a condom he doesn't get laid. You should not compromise that safety.
I just finished a course on human sexuality. Did you know that over 95% of new AIDS infections happen to people between the ages of 13 and 30? That teenagers represent the highest rates of syphilis, gonorrhea, and herpes transmissions in the world? You're right at the beginning of the target age group who get infected with something, and the most common way it happens is in situations you're contemplating doing.
If it is your boyfriend, and you've been dating for at least 6 months exclusively, then go get tested together. You do it because you can find it cheap or free and because you make it into something to do together for each other, even though you're a virgin.
My wife and I use spermicide and pill contraceptive. It's about the same as using condoms and birth control, only we don't have to use condoms. I'm not going to lie, they reduce sensations alot on both sides. Once you have sex without a condom you won't like them any more than guys do. IF you're with a guy who you've been with and trust, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting tested and forgoing condoms in a long term monagamous relationship. Once STDs are out of the way, there are methods other than condoms which can be used just as easily. A diaphragm is another, works well with birth control.
But if this isn't a boyfriend you've been with for six months, condoms are required.
I keep saying 6 months. Why? Because certain problems can take up to that long to start showing symptoms or show up in blood work. If you don't know he's been celibate because he's been dating you, then use a condom.
The solution here is to buy a box of regular and a box of magnum trojans, and to keep them hidden in your sock drawer. Put two of each in your purse when you go out and might be having sex (the second is in case the first breaks, or you want a second round). Never, EVER bring the magnum out until and unless he's too big for the regular or he comments that he usually uses one. If he fits in it you'll get to it. If he doesn't, you don't want to make him feel inadequate or start a "so why do you carry giant condoms in your purse" conversation where he starts thinking that you've been fucking guys with bigger dicks.
Guys at your age can still be kinda immature about subjects like that.
You'll feel like an idiot. Ignore that. Stick with the rules that make sense when you're both not naked, and bring condoms with you just in case he "forgets" or actually genuinely forgets or something.
Also, if he pulls a condom out of his wallet, pull yours out. Condoms in wallets degrade from heat and friction quickly, and likely won't protect you from shit. And having condoms yourself means you can forgo the "why we have to use condoms" speech and jump straight to "you're using one, you don't have a choice about it, and if you try to leave without fucking me AND using this condom I'm going to hit you"
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There is a boy in my english class and I think for a total fact that he likes me. He does that grade school shenanigans, he makes fun of me, pokes me, touches my desk, flips my book pages when I'm not looking. I asked this kid next to me if he knew how to spell my last name and he forgot the second letter so the kid that I like said "no no, it's spelled like this" and he wrote it on my folder and spelled it right. He just broke up with his girlfriend. Which I really like because she wasn't the best to him. We talk every single day. We look each other in the eyes all the time, even if we aren't talking. He asks me for help when he doesn't understand something. I heard when a guy accuses you of liking someone else, he likes you. He does that, he accuses me of liking the nerdiest kid in our class when I don't. The boy I like is a flirt but when he was dating his girlfriend he was really loyal and I respected it. He would trace around her fingers on the desk in english. Everytime she wanted to play bloody knuckles, he would play with her even if he didn't want to. They would hold hands all the time. They were always together. I kinda want him but do you think he likes me? If so, what do I do? Thanks! (link)
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Lord.
On the one hand, he definitely likes you. He pays you a ton of attention, is broken up, and is giving you a ton of signs. Your intuition is right, but then he's not exactly being quiet about it. Accusing you of liking the nerdiest guy in class? It's a nonsensical and backwards way guys sometimes use to reassure themselves that you don't like anyone else, and he's clueless so he picked the one person in class he thought was least likely for you to be attracted to, just to make sure of the answer he got.
On the other hand, he's acting like a kid. I know you're high school. If he's first or second year, give him a pass. If he's a Junior or Senior, take note, because generally by 17 you should have grown enough self awareness to not be as ridiculous as he's being. I'd not be surprised if everyone in the class knows exactly what's going on.
What do you do? Smile at him. Flirt back. Accuse him of liking the nerdiest girl in the classroom (quietly, and probably alone, so that he doesn't embarrass himself is he vehemently protests it). Ask him what he's doing during the weekend and dramatically lament the fact that you're not doing anything (unless you are, then wait for another weekend)
Send him hints. Fairly big ones, guys aren't great with subtlety most of the time and this guy's probably worse off than most. If he doesn't get the hint within a week or two, straight up tell him that you've been flirting back for a week and you're wondering why he hasn't asked you out yet. When he looks at you shocked, say something like "What, did you think there was even the slightest chance I'd say no?"
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I lost my virginity and I wish I hadn't. Can someone explain if there is a way that this can be fixed with an oeration? Is there a surgery for hymen reconstruction?
I will rate you!
Thanks (link)
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Hymen reconstruction will not restore your virginity, it will just enable you to cover your ass if and when you choose to lie about it.
You are not a virgin. Welcome to the adult world, where you're stuck with your terrible decisions.
And if you're young enough to actually be asking about hymen reconstruction on a website like this, you're too young to get it done without parental permission.
Last, plastic surgery costs thousands of dollars. Good luck getting your parents to pony up five to ten grand to get your vagina stitched up because you fucked an asshole.
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i'm 17/f and i think i'm developing a problem. i started drinking alcohol when i was about 14 or 15. sometimes it would just be a small sip of wine or beer, and then when i was 16, i started stealing money from my sisters to buy it from a friend who could legally buy it. now, i just mix vodka or wine with sunny D. its my parents liquor, and usually i only drink a decent amount until i can sleep well or feel good. sometimes i take some to school or to my friends house so we can all get drunk.
but last saturday night, i was drinking a small amount, and kept refilling my glass. and before i knew it, i couldnt remember my name or where i left my phone. i couldnt even walk. i'd been drunk like that before, but not for over a year. and then i woke up sunday hungover as hell. i promised myself i'd never drink again. but now, here i am, writing this, drinking wine. in my mind, its better than doing drugs because its legal and its not costing me anything, and i don't even think its fair that the drinking age is 21. do i have a problem, or am i just being a teenager? and if i do have a problem, how do i stop? (link)
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This is why the drinking age is 21. Because you are a child, and intoxicants are for adults. Even some adults (about one of five) are completely incapable of managing themselves when it comes to intoxicants.
You very well might end up being in that 20%.
If you're drinking until you can't remember where your shit is or walk straight, there's a problem. If you're stealing to get your intoxicants, that's a real problem.
Free? Its not free. You're a 17 year old stealing money to buy booze. And you're justifying it because "It's not drugs"
Sweetheart, alcohol is a drug. In fact, alcohol is more habit forming, more debilitating, and more deadly than about half the drugs that are illegal in the US. Alcoholics Anonymous exists for a reason, and honestly I'd seriously suggest that you find a local meeting and sit in sometime, it might give you a new perspective on what you're drinking.
Nothing about what you're doing is ok. The reason the drinking age is 21 is because children need to learn to function on their own as adults before they can function on their own AND manage a drug/alcohol habit in such a way that they don't fuck shit up.
You're supposed to grow up before you enjoy the fruits of adulthood, but teenagers are stupid (you included) and think you're ready for everything just because you can stick it in your mouth.
How do you stop? It starts with a school counselor, honestly. I'm not going to pretend for a second that you'll go to your parents with this up front, but if you want to not fuck up your life and continue screwing up and stealing you need to go see someone who's able to give you some level of help, and that's exactly what school counselors are there for.
I enjoy my own recreational intoxication on a pretty regular basis. I also hold down a full time job and attend college.
That's the point. I get fucked up, sure. I never lose my shit, I don't puke, wake up strange places, or anything else that would show that I'm a child who can't handle the situations I get myself into. I go to work, I do my schoolwork, and then I get a little buzzed sometimes in the evenings once my day is done to relax.
Last. There is a strong cause/effect relationship between teenagers who develop intoxicant addictions and teenagers who are unable to grow up into and cope with the adult world. One of the most common issues with intoxicants is that they are used as a substitute for dealing with life in a healthy way. You get drunk and forget it instead of dealing with it.
Teens are in a much larger danger zone with this, because you haven't learned to handle the adult world on your own yet, not by half. An adult with their own life that they support has already developed the life skills they need. If they lose themselves in alcoholism, they can at least go back to where they started from (still being an adult) and try to pick up their lives.
You don't know shit about the real world, you haven't even stepped one foot out into it yet. You know nothing about adult life, adult stresses, and adult responsibility, much less have the experience to manage all three. So when you turn into an alcoholic, at the end of your spree of craziness, you get to return to being a teenager who doesn't know what the fuck she's doing or how to handle life, and will still have to learn.
Or, retreat back into alcoholism because it makes the pain go away, setting yourself up for a lifetime of problems you will never be capable of handling for yourself.
Go to a counselor. Talk with them. Then talk to your parents. If you don't, you're going to fuck up your life, because you have no idea what's good and what's bad, up or down, and at this point you need an adult to step in and tell you what the fuck to do because you're not going to do any of it on your own.
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
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am a female and i had sex with my bf for 8 months and unprotected and he has cummed inside of me. but i realise that my period hasn come yet and i feel this horrible pain in my puvic area.. also my breast are so sensitive and they hurt so much. i also started getting dizzy and i berly can stand strait some times.. Can i be pregnant?? (link)
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Time to visit the drug store and buy a few tests.
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