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"Screwing up America's children so you don't have to."

If I had a dollar for every question that I see regarding the function of the female reproductive system, I'd still be poor because the dollar is turning into a banana republic toilet paper currency due to inflation. I've done a lot of cool things involving guns, helicopters, explosives, parachutes, tanks, humvees, artillery, radios, and 12 hour plane flights. If you seriously want to know more about me, find another hobby because I already told you the good parts. Airborne Armor Leads The Way.

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Gender: Male
Location: 42SWB 30859 26028
Occupation: college student
Age: 26
Member Since: January 11, 2005
Answers: 1191
Last Update: September 28, 2012
Visitors: 50957

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ok so i like this guy but the thing is everytime we get kinda close he asks some one else out! Err annoying and today i brought my best friend ty. A cookie and he comes up from behind me and holds my hands down and kisses my neck a couple or times and sometimes he hugs me,plays with my hair
out of no where he kinda annoys me sometimes. But i mean all my guy friends all like do u like him ..and i always say no because they don't like him but i really like him wat should i do !?? Please help i rate 5's if its good ,and i don't want people being dumb about it i just want your opinion.

you should stop this lying nonsense and tell the truth about your feelings, cause then word will get back to him, and then you'll have a pretty good chance of him asking you out. if not, then take command of the situation and ask him out. just try your best, and know that you can succeed!
-hitler

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for english i have to gather information on adolf eichmann (involving the holocaust) and make a 5 minute presentation in front of the class with it. Its not the nervousness im worried about, its the fact that i cant bring cards or a speech up to read from..i have to know the information enough to talk to the class about it ..for five minutes! thats a long time. we can use the aid of a visual, but my teacher doesnt want us to just stick pictures on posterboard..she wants us to be more creative. Any ideas on what i can do?

just go into gruesome detail about the horrible things he did, and how he died, etc.
-hitler

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I was at a party last night with a bunch of friends. We all had our cars parked in front of the house the party was at and the actual party took place inside the house and in the backyard. Well, when the party was over, everyone went outside and found all the cars keyed, wrapped, and egged. There were some notes on some cars that said "Spoiled bitches got what they deserved" We had no idea who did it or what the notes meant until school today. A girl came up to us and was like "how do y'all like your cars now?" This is a girl that we do not get along with at all. So, we believe it's her. Oh and by the way, we've never done anything mean to her or her friends. I told my dad that we think we know who did it (he's a Lawyer) but he said that unless we have some kind of proof, there's nothing he can do legally. Is there anything we can try?

have a party this weekend and put some video cameras out in the cars
or just use violence to solve the problem.
those are your only real options, tell me, do you live in a state with a "make-my-day" law? cause then you can just kill her out of hand when you catch her.
-hitler

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I really like this guy who lives near me, hes 14/m and im 13/f. Everyone tells me that he likes me but I dont believe them. Everytime he see's me he gives me a hug. And in school, between classes, he trys to hold my hand. I really want to ask him out. Should I? How do i know if he really does like me?

he does. guys don't do that stuff unless they're gay, or would like to go out with you.
-hitler

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I want to lost weigh by June for FL but I need some motivation. Everyday I wake up saying today im going on a diet but then it always turns out the next day and then again the next day. I need some motivation, does anyone know any good ideas to keep me motivated to me goal? please help

i lost my weight by not eating for several days combined with strenuous exrecise.
-hitler

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SORRY THAT IT'S LONG

Today my friend and I were sitting together in the gym and we were getting in our groups for our graduation trip. We promised each other we'd stay in the group together - just us, we actually even needed 2 more people in the group -since about three months ago. Well, we wanted to be in a group with 3 other girls, but you were only allowed four per group, but they made an acception of five if you really had to. My friend and I asked if we could room with them- they said no - two of the three girls like me.

About 5 minutes later.. she gets called over by them. I'm sitting there by myself talking to other people and she "sends a message down" saying that she's gonna stay in their group. Luckily, I found another friend to room with.

Do I have the right to be pretty ticked off, and if she apologizes or not, should I say it was rude?

nope, your shallow friend ditched you for a group of girls she hardly knows, you certainly have a right to be a little peeved. and yes, you should inform her that you will not tolerate any further horsing around.
-hitler
do you still need somebody to room with? i'm lonely.......

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i am like deadly obsessed with the tv show the oc. tonight it said on my tv guide that it was coming on(like it does every thursday) but it didnt and this president bush thing did. did this happen to anyone else? whats up with it will it b reschedualed? please answer this is an emergancy!!!

why do you hate the president?
is it because you want to zone out watching some trash on the television rather than find out what the deal is with rising gas prices? alternate fuel sources? this is not the O.C., this is real fucking life. you need to realize that your fantasy world is going to come to an abrupt end when the rolling brownouts shut your TV off due to a lack of fuel for the local power plant. is that serious enough? how about your trips to the mall? they're going to cease if the companies can't ship their goods. hell, you might be waiting in line at a gas station listening to some pop music station that fades in and out due to a sketchy generator. then you'll return to your house that is no longer heated or air conditioned and stare longingly at the dark screen of the computer in which you are reading this political rant, realizing that i was right all along. so tell me now, which is more important?
-Gunner J. Hitler
and yes, he had to pick 1900 so as to get you retards to pay attention.

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when ever i watch a love scene in a movie or show i kinda of think of me and my crush and then i suddenly feel so depressed . but it last for a long time

it last for long time?
why don't you get that crush to become more than a crush
-hitler

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Okay, me and my best friend have been friends for about 5 years. She has always helped me with my dating problems and I hvae always helped her with hers. But somethings scaring me. See, my boyfreind and my freind use to go to school together. They wern't good friends but they didnt hate each other. He was the kind of guy that EVERY girl wanted. But now I'm dating him. They have just recently became like really really really close. I don't mind them talking, but he talks to her more then he talks to me! And everytime I confront one of them about it, they just say their talking about me which I don't believe one bit. Sometimes when I get on AIM and my friend and my boyfriend are on and my boyfriends not talking to me, I'll IM my friend and ask if shes talking to him and she always says YES! And when I call either her or him, they sometimes tell me that they just got of the phone with eachother and they talked for hours! I don't know what to do anymore, and I want to know how to stop it without hurting one of them. I need your help!

looks like you are the fifth wheel in this operation. see your way out and find another guy.
there's 3 billion of us hanging around.
-hitler

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Is it normal to think your boyfriend is going to break up with you? I don't like being online because most of my relationships ended that way and I'm afraid of getting notes... My other two relationships were pretty bad and I dunno...Am I too paranoid?

yes,paranoia is good. but knock it down a notch or two.
-hitler

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I don't know if I am straight or bisexual (i'm a 15/f) ... is there any sites I can go to that might help me or like a quiz I can take online or something. Please help thanks in advance.

no, just try it out. those quizzes are complete bullshit. try to imagine yourself pleasing another girl, and see if it turns you on.
-hitler

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there is this guy at school who likes me ALOT! and i kinda like him, but hes part of the popular group, and im not really.. im just part of the normal group. His friends asked him "why do you like her, she doesnt hang out with us, she doesnt deserve you" should i go out with him even though his friends said that, and people would make fun of me if i went out with him? PLEASE HELP!

go for it kiddo, tell those dudes to fuck themselves.
-hitler

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ok.. this guy at school likes me and i kinda like him. But he said he might ask me out. The only thing is that he has a reputation of being a jackass and doing stuff with girls. And i always see him like hugging other girls and stuff. SO even if i was going to go out with him i would be nervous bout it cuz all the stuff above makes it look like he might cheat on me. what should i do?! PLEase hELP!

nah, hes harmless, give him a try and stop being so judgemental.
-hitler

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hey i have a friend and him and his girlfriend broke up like 2 weeks ago and he still likes her so me and her hungout friday ane he got mad at us. But now i like her and like shes my bestfriends ex. What should i do?
P.S. were both 14

first rule in the unwritten code of man:
thou shall not date or acknowledge the existence of a friend's ex without his express permission.
you violated that.
good luck with that one, now he can kick your ass without retribution.
-hitler

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ok, me and my boyfriend have been going out for a little over 3 months, but we havent made out yet. we hold hands and kiss, but not open mouth. we've said that we love each other, and idk. is there a problem with this? i mean we talked about it and said we're ready, but like we just cant find the right time cuz of school and stuff.

why don't you have him over for dinner at your house on friday, I'm sure he'd love to meet your dad.
-hitler

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Okay...well...I'm a thirteen-year-old girl and I like a guy. He gives off all of the signals that he likes me as more than a friend. One problem:

He's eighteen.

I know I can't be with him at least at the current time, whether he likes me in that way or not, but it just hurts sooo badly. Worse than I've ever felt about a crush.

Why do I feel this bad, and what can I do to get over him, if there's anything I can do?

Has anyone experienced this?

Thanks for any advice you can give.

one big problem: he's a child molester.
this is why there are statutory rape laws.
he wants some of your jailbait stuff.
wait until you're 18 to find out if he's just after you for the "sex with a child" appeal
-hitler

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I have a sunburn on my forehead from a week ago. Now it's starting to peel, even though I put lotion on it everyday. Are there any creams I can put on it or something? Thanks so much! -Manders

st. ives works really good.
-hitler

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how do you know whe you are really, TRUELLY in love? thank you - i rate high unless your response sucks!

when she doesn't chase you around the house with a knife while having a bad acid trip. yes, i had that happen to me.
i guarantee you that you're not truly in love.
too young, wait a few years and try again.
even I don't know what the hell it is, I'm just going on what Mister Gary Cole told me.
-hitler

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hey.. i have a VERRRY bad situation. My mom and dad are getting a divorce and i dont know what to do! Is it my fault? What can i do (if possible) to get them back together? i love my mom and my dad but when they yell and scream its hard for me to love either one of them.... plz plz plz help!! Everytime i think about it it makes me cry!!

nope, just let it happen. you should stand back and let the fur fly, because nothing you say will matter to them.
-hitler

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my bff lives in a diff. coournty and resentlly her soo called friends over there were talking crap bout her and were being really REALLY snotty to her! Well i emailed them both and told them off with my friend here (she is also that girl's bff). Well i think that it got them into even a more fight and they h8 her even more now we apologized but now they are being really REALLY horrible to us!! What should we do????

mail them a really big bomb.
- how to: build a letter bomb-
find a box about 12" on each side
buy nails or scrap metal
hot glue the shrapnel into the walls of the box
buy a container of smokeless powder, pour it into a ziplock bag, place in the box.
cut a hole in the bag.
build a trigger mechanism wired to the box top
stick the electrodes into the gunpowder through the hole.
seal the box, mail, and enjoy prison!
seriously, you can't do anything about this situation. you'll only make it worse by doing anything. and foreign prisons (where you'd go) are not fun at all. I guarantee they have an extradition treaty with your country. unless belize is involved.
keep quiet and twiddle your thumbs
-hitler

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