about

hahahaha was i on crack as a kid or what?

Anywayzzz -- Hey loveys. My name's Martha and I'm here to help you on pretty much anything. Ask and I'll do my very best to answer. I love giving advice and a lot of people say I am a beastly advice giver...so, ask away!

p.s. my screen name is x0mrm0x if you don't want to have your question open to everyone. Also, if you need advice from a guy my friend mark gives good advice...his link is under my favorite columnists.



advice

ive heard that the brown jelly bracelet is 'toss my salad' but i have no clue what that means. can someone please tell me?

...toss my salad=anal oral
basically, when someone eats out your ass.
sound nasty? thats cuz it is...
yucky.

hope i helped.

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like mt faimly is being so horrible to me and like my sister she doesnt like me and my other sister thinks im a hore but im really not and when i walk in the room and they dont know i hear them say stuff like i hate that hoe and she is so self centerd and i want to know what i can do to like make them not hate me becasuse im happy about some things and sad about the other and its makeing me do crazy things for instants Cut.
please help me
~thank*~you*
~*cAsSiE~*

don't let your family get to you. i know exactly how you feel...but cutting doesn't solve anything.

you probably cut because they make you feel like shit and that 'things would be better off if you weren't here' and that the only way to let out those feelings is by cutting yourself. but it really doesn't do anything in the long run.

there's nothing that you really can do about how they make you feel, besides talk to them about it. but there are better, non-destructive ways to let out your feelings towards/about your family.

punch a pillow, scream into a pillow, find a piece of wood and a bat and go in your garage or driveway and just go all out, punch a punching bag, CRY!!!!!, go for a run, work out/exercise...those are lots of things that just get everything out and don't hurt anyone.

IM me if you need to...and please, stop cutting.
hope i helped.

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people say "my hymn hasnt broken yet. i cant do certain things because it hasnt broken yet, like a guy cant finger me or i cant have sex"

what does that mean "it hasnt borken yet?"

...thats totally wrong. the way that your hymen gets broken is by having sex, getting fingered, using tampons, or even sometimes exercizing or stretching. just because you haven't broken it yet, doesn't mean that you CAN'T do anything...it might me a little painful though.
and when they say 'it hasn't broken yet' it just means that nothing as penetrated your vagina in order to break it.
hope i helped...and sorry if it was a little confusing.

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What is the average weight or normal/healthy weight range for a 13 year old girl about 5 feet to 5 feet 2 inches tall?

umm, i'm no expert but i think that its around 100-130.
hope i helped.

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I really like one of my good guy friends and he really likes me. But if we date and then one of us dumps the other for whatever reason, it might ruin our friendship. Our friendship right now is really strong and i need him as a friend but having him as a boyfriend would be so much better. I'm trying to forget about my feelings but I cant stop think about it. :sigh:. well hope you can help a little. thx.
*gg*

i know how you feel.
but really, you HAVE to talk to him. he will tell you how he feels ... and that is very necassary (sp?). i know that he won't want to screw up a good friendship either.
and you can't just ignore your feelings, you have to talk to him about it ... cuz you even said that he likes you too.
... just talk to him!!!!!!
lol, hope i helped.

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i'm 5'5 / 5'6 nd weigh about 120 pounds . . . should i go on a diet ? i do a sport, but wat else should i do ?

you don't need to do anything else...you're thin!!! don't go on a diet--you don't want to be TOO thin.
hope i helped.

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my girlfriend is on this game literally 24/7 LITTERALLY she`ll stay up all night playing that game.. or she`ll go to bed at like fuckin 2 3 in the moring.. get up at what 11 12.. then play it.. then stop at 6 for a hour then start playing it till like 2 3 in the moring... sometimes she`ll stay up all night till like 8 9 then go to sleep till 2 then get up and play it again. im really worried bout her. (were bi im a girl too) and i dunno how to explain what shes doing.. i mean i dont even talk to her anymore.. and when i do its alway a "kk" every 10 mins or somehting. its really bugging me... i dont wanan sound all mean and tell her not to play it and talk to me. errr *hits head* i dunno what the fucking im writing this for...

is she by any chance playing a game called 'runescape' ? haha, cuz the situation sounds familiar.
but either way, you need to just like turn off the computer/ps2/whatever and talk to her. tell her that if she continues to play the game ALL THE TIME, that you two might have to just break up because this damn game is taking over her life and not giving her any time to spend time with you or anybody else.
just tell her how you feel and she should listen and MAJORLY take what you say into consideration.
hope i helped.

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is orgy and orgasym the same thing?

thanks

nope. an orgy is sex with many people.
and an orgasm is the...sexual climax in a woman or man.
hope i helped.

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I've been searching everywhere to find the bathing suit that I want. I cannot find it anywhere. I'm looking for a plain black string bikini and absolutely no stores have it! If you guys know of any stores where I could find one I'd appreciate it. I rate 5's! Thanks so much in advance.

i got my bathing suit at TJ Maxx. they have so many choices and name brands (like roxy, hurley, ralph lauren, etc) and they're very very reasonable. another place you could try is kohls. they have really cute suits...not name brands, but who cares? they're reasonable too.
hope i helped.

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i have a question . . . well i'm 13 and i have never had a bf ! and ppl r constantly tellin me i'm pretty . . . so why can't i get a bf ?

well i'm 13 too and i didn't start going out with people until i was 13! (which means recently lol). so, don't sweat it.
its not that big of a deal not to have a boyfriend...and in my opinion, its way funner to flirt with guys and be free to have fun! and not be committed to one guy (but then again-i have committment issues...lol) just wait-and some guy will realize how awesome you are and stuff...you'll get a boyfriend soon enough.
hope i helped.

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Does anyone know how to download appel sauce? Can you please give me the direct link to download it? Thanks! I rate also.

sorry to say that i have never heard of apple sauce before...so i can't help ya there.
ask this question as a public question so that any columnist could answer.

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okay, so me and my friend ryan met like a year ago i guess.
recently we were talking about relationships and stuff and he told me that he liked me, and i was like i like you to. and we talk and hang out with friends and stuff but he hasnt made a move or anything
does this mean he doesnt like me anymore?
THANKS FOR THE ADVICE

he's probably just nervous or scared. he might be hesitant because you 2 are too close as friends...that he might find it awkward fooling around with you. if you really want to know, just talk to him...it won't seem like you're being weird because you have a right to know...and plus, you talked about relationships and what there is between you two...so it won't be a big deal.
hope i helped.

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how do u forget someone .. that u love and just cant deal with it anymore ?

well babe...i'm sorry to tell you this...but it just takes time.
but honestly, you probably won't be able to COMPLETELY forget about them. if you love them, its gonna be hard.
but my question is...why can't you deal with it anymore? is it just that you don't think they love you back or something?
write back if you need more advice...(sn is x0mrm0x)
hope i helped.

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ok im 15 and sometimes i feel like my boyfriend wants me to do more than just making out. But i dont think im ready and i dont want to yet. We've been together for 6 months and some people say thats a long time. But what should i do? is it bad for me to be 15 and not wanna do anything yet? is 6 months along time?

age doesn't matter-its how you feel about it. you shouldn't do anything that you don't really want to.
but yes, 6 months is considered a long time and most couples that have been going out for that long have gone way farther than making out.
if you think that he might not be satisfied with just what you guys are doing now, talk to him about it and tell him that you don't think you're ready. if he really loves you he'll understand and take his time with you.
hope i helped.

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Does anyone have any good ideas for a book, for a young teen girl to read on the beach. I need a good summer read.

i heard that stargirl was a good book (my friend read it...) i'm not sure of the author but you could just google it.
also, chicken soup for the teenage soul books are good.
i have also heard (through friends) that the 'gossip girl' series is very good.
hope i helped.

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Me and my girlfriend, we are lesbians,and every night we like to get naked and pleasure each other, however, when i am licking her pussy and massaging her vagina with my tongue, i get her pubic hairs in my mouth. How can i tell her to shave her pubic hairs so i wont get them in my mouth when i massage her pussy with my tongue, and when i lick the inside of her pussy. Please help!!

ok sorry but you didn't have to be so graphically descriptive and repetative with the whole lesbain pleasuring events.
but i say you just tell her...she wouldn't want that to happen to her if she was doing that to you. she'll understand.
hope i helped.

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how long is a good amount of time to give a guy a blow job for? i've given them before but i dont know when to stop .. so i wanted to know like how many minutes or just until he cums?

just until he comes.
hope i helped.

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My guy friend is mad at me. I called him a couple days ago to apologize and he didn't listen to me...I didn't even do anything!! I just said something after he pissed me off! But I've known him sooo long and I don't wanna ruin our friendship over something as stupid as this! Should I apologize again??? Help!

i know what you mean.
i say just wait a few more days and then see if he comes around and talks to you about it. guys are stubborn. if he doesn't listen to you on the phone or in person (or even on aim) e-mail him and tell him why you said what you said and try to look at it from his perspective (like why he got mad and what not)
thats what i did when i got into a fight with my guy friend. i wrote him a long ass e-mail and he said 'i don't even know why we're fighting' and then everything was cool. and now, we're like...better friends! lol.
hope i helped.
p.s. write back if more advice is needed

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does anyone know if you are supposted to stop at a certain time when giving a guy a handjob .. and is there such a thing as blue balls? thanks

well you're supposed to stop when the guy comes...because it is possible that he will get blue balls.
so yes, there is such a thing. its when a guy get an erection, and is about to cum/ejaculate/basically have an orgasm...but then whatever is happening (sex, blow job, hand job) is stopped - so then he isn't able to cum...like, its about to come out, but it doesn't and like starts to go back in/up the penis...its kinda hard to explain--but i did my best...lol.
if you have any questions->my screen name is x0mrm0x...lol.
p.s. blue balls hurts guys real bad. some more than others though.
hope i helped.

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I want to make a new screen name. Im 13, im really preppy/girly! I love hollister a&f, designer stuff.. I would also like the word whore in my screen name and my favorite number is 3. Thanks! I rate!

(use 3's for S's...and use zeros (0) for O's)
(if there are letters missing in these screen names...its cuz the limit for an AIM screen name is 16 characters--gotta kepp that in mind)

xh0LListerXwh0r3

AxNDxFitChxBitCh

p0pP3d X c0LLerR

Pr3ttY in Pr3p

Pr3piTizZeD

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